Hey everyone! I'm excited to be a part of this community! I'm here because I'm a bit confused about my relationship. I've been dating someone for close to 3 years now and it has been a roller coaster of a ride. It started off great (as most do) then got really rough during which we almost broke up. But we've worked through a lot of it and we're doing a lot better. And still growing. There's just one issue that has been more of a recent problem... and that is attraction. When I first met her I was not immediately attracted to her but once I got to know her more, I was really attracted to her personality and I could see the beauty in her. However, I don't know if I can say I ever became physically attracted to her. That didn't seem like an issue at first since I was more interested in personality than physical appearance. But as time has gone on and the reality of marriage has dawned on me, I'm wondering if it is unwise to marry someone you are not attracted to. I've heard it said that if you are not longing for your wedding night, then there might be something wrong with your relationship. Not that, as Christians, we should be obsessing about sex and physical pleasure but we are wired to desire that and I'm not sure I desire that with her.
My real confusion here is whether my thoughts are reasonable/healthy/appropriate for a Christian. I must admit that I am attracted to a woman's breasts (as most guys are!) and my current girlfriend is quite slender. I try my best to not dwell on these ideas and not allow attraction to become lust but I must admit that it's something that catches my attention and is desirable for me. Is this shallow to think this way? Should I be denying myself in this area of life? Is physical attraction something that we should give a lot of importance? Would it be dishonest to marry someone I am not attracted to?
I believe the purpose of marriage is to have someone to help you grow and serve the Lord to your best ability. If I can do this with her then am I wrong to be having these thoughts?
Sorry for all the questions, I've just really been struggling with this! Any help is appreciated! Thank you!! God bless!
My real confusion here is whether my thoughts are reasonable/healthy/appropriate for a Christian. I must admit that I am attracted to a woman's breasts (as most guys are!) and my current girlfriend is quite slender. I try my best to not dwell on these ideas and not allow attraction to become lust but I must admit that it's something that catches my attention and is desirable for me. Is this shallow to think this way? Should I be denying myself in this area of life? Is physical attraction something that we should give a lot of importance? Would it be dishonest to marry someone I am not attracted to?
I believe the purpose of marriage is to have someone to help you grow and serve the Lord to your best ability. If I can do this with her then am I wrong to be having these thoughts?
Sorry for all the questions, I've just really been struggling with this! Any help is appreciated! Thank you!! God bless!
