recent experiences (COVID, services)

archer75 · Apr 14, 2020

I feel extremely drained. Part of it is physical illness. Part is the stress of the news and so on. But part is that it's been impossible to go to services. I realize that it does mean something to be to be there. To be physically present. To see the censing. to be reminded every time I see everyone get censed that we, not only the saints depicted in icons, are made in the image of God. To kiss the cross with everyone else. To say my private prayers and then be reminded of them during the litanies. To know that the clergy are serving in special capacities. And so on.

I feel pretty adrift. And I wonder how you all are doing with this.

ArmyMatt · Apr 14, 2020

doing as good as I can. remember St Mary of Egypt during this pandemic has helped me.

~Anastasia~ · Apr 15, 2020

archer75 said:
I feel extremely drained. Part of it is physical illness. Part is the stress of the news and so on. But part is that it's been impossible to go to services. I realize that it does mean something to be to be there. To be physically present. To see the censing. to be reminded every time I see everyone get censed that we, not only the saints depicted in icons, are made in the image of God. To kiss the cross with everyone else. To say my private prayers and then be reminded of them during the litanies. To know that the clergy are serving in special capacities. And so on.

I feel pretty adrift. And I wonder how you all are doing with this.

not good.

Mostly I keep busy and try to be happy and use my time well.

But not being in Church is taking a toll. Realizing we wouldn’t be back for Pascha was a hit. And actually knowing it’s Holy Week but I’m not able to attend any of the services is slowly becoming crushing.

I keep hearing priests on podcasts talking about how the Church flourished even under hardship, and if makes me feel like less good of a Christian.

Protestant brothers and sisters keep saying we should worship God everywhere and anytime, and they are right about that of course, but they have no idea what a tremendous experience Holy Week in the Church is so they just don’t understand. (I know. I was Protestant for decades and know what I thought about such things.)

We don’t have a confessor, so I went from regular confession to not having one since before the Nativity fast. I’ve never been without the Eucharist so much since my baptism.

Normally the news and the world doesn’t get to me, but it’s starting to.

I really worry about those who are alone during this time. But it’s also hard living in an anti-Orthodox household. I miss everyone from Church so much.

And even though my daughter lives a mile away, I don’t get to see her. She’s had confirmed cases at her work, and I guess I’m too high risk for her to actually see me.

The thing is, I’m pretty sure I could be doing better. I could be cooperating with God and maybe great good could come from this. But I’m not doing a very good job at that. I think I’m just trying to bury the disappointment and not face the whole thing.

So part of the fault is my own. But I’m not doing very well either.

Prayers for you - little as they are though.

Phronema · Apr 15, 2020

~Anastasia~ said:
We don’t have a confessor, so I went from regular confession to not having one since before the Nativity fast. I’ve never been without the Eucharist so much since my baptism.

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing so well, and I'll certainly pray for you as little as that may help.

I'd also just point out, and this may not help you much during the pandemic, but there is a priest able to hear confessions down the road at our parish? I know that's a bit of a drive for you, but in case that helps I thought I'd mention it. Then again there may be another one closer as I know there's a second Orthodox parish in your city.

I'm praying for you all.

~Anastasia~ · Apr 15, 2020

Phronema said:
I'm sorry to hear you're not doing so well, and I'll certainly pray for you as little as that may help.

I'd also just point out, and this may not help you much during the pandemic, but there is a priest able to hear confessions down the road at our parish? I know that's a bit of a drive for you, but in case that helps I thought I'd mention it. Then again there may be another one closer as I know there's a second Orthodox parish in your city.

I'm praying for you all.

Thank you for your prayers.

That might actually be a good idea. I’m actually halfway between my parish and the one to the East.

There is another Orthodox Church in the city. I’ve asked that priest about confession before and been told no, for whatever reason. Our former priest is supposed to be able to hear them, but he’s working another hour to the west.

it just seems surreal, to be cut off from the Church in so many ways.

But asking at your parish might make sense. Thank you. (Though I really hate to add extra burdens to any priest right now when they are probably pretty busy dealing with details in this strange situation.)

Phronema · Apr 15, 2020

~Anastasia~ said:
Thank you for your prayers.

That might actually be a good idea. I’m actually halfway between my parish and the one to the East.

There is another Orthodox Church in the city. I’ve asked that priest about confession before and been told no, for whatever reason. Our former priest is supposed to be able to hear them, but he’s working another hour to the west.

it just seems surreal, to be cut off from the Church in so many ways.

But asking at your parish might make sense. Thank you. (Though I really hate to add extra burdens to any priest right now when they are probably pretty busy dealing with details in this strange situation.)

Of course I wish I was able to help further.

I'll just say that I understand the long period away from the church due to deployments though I'm not trying to detract from your current situation, and I'd also add that mine is self-imposed. Nonetheless that still affords me a level of understanding of a similar situation. The only thing I can say is that it certainly helps me to garner a much higher appreciation for when I'm able to even watch a live streamed Divine Liturgy, and definitely helps me to appreciate being able to attend in person, spend time with the other parishioners, and to receive the Holy Eucharist. So there certainly is some good that comes out of it.

As for whether or not he's too busy I'm sure he is with Holy Week as they're streaming them and such but after Holy Week I don't think he'd have any issue with it especially considering how long it's been for you. I'll say it certainly wouldn't hurt to call. He's in my experience a very kind and understanding man.

FenderTL5 · Apr 15, 2020

~Anastasia~ said:
We don’t have a confessor, so..

Our presiding priest is ill and in recovery. He is not serving while in recovery. He's been out since February. We had a priest coming in for liturgies from out of state, COVID-19 put a stop to that.
We've only had reader's services for a month. We are in Tennessee but we are taking directive from the Metropolitan's assistant in Michigan.
I understand.

I've been very fortunate, since I'm the tech guy at our parish, I was able to go into the parish and stream the reader's services. So at least I was able to enter the space. I will never underestimate just how important walking into a consecrated space is, ever again. You can feel God's presence when you enter the archway.

We are not streaming Holy Week, since there's no reader's version of the Holy Week services. So, we are dependent on other parishes. I've watched the Bridegroom services from three different locations.
The very first Orthodox service I attended was Holy Thursday in a small parish here in west Nashville. I watched their service last night. I think I will watch them for the rest of the week.
In a way, it's like starting all over agian.

peregrinus2017 · Apr 15, 2020

I am very asocial by nature, this present situation makes it difficult for me to maintain relationships. I didn't really get to partake fully of pascha last year. I was expecting this year to be fully immersed. Was feeling adrift for a while, but I have been making sure to participate as best I can in streaming services each day. It's a poor substitute for being there, though better than me myself and I. Putting together a little feast basket even if I have no one to share it with. My priest says he will call around two thirty in the morning.

~Anastasia~ · Apr 15, 2020

I only have a moment but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for prayers.

I’m doing much better today, though I must say the realization has hit home how self-centered I have been and was squandering whatever opportunities I have had during Lent and Holy Week. And I do indeed have a deeper understanding of just how vital are the tools the Church offers.

I’m afraid I’m going to “need Lent” again when this period of time is over. Maybe God will grant me a mini-Lent. But either way I’m thankful for what tiny bit of insight I’ve gotten - mostly on how much I need what the Church offers! - so far.

Thank you again for prayers. You are all collectively in mine - though they are not much to offer.

God be with you all.

rusmeister · Apr 15, 2020

I've been on an edge that I can't even talk about on line. Whatever my prayers are worth (an infinity approaching zero) you got 'em.

ArmyMatt · Apr 15, 2020

continued prayers!

Anhelyna · Apr 15, 2020

Prayers for all of us who are suffering at this time :crosseo:

We can't have any Services at present - we have no access to our little Chapel and I'm personally finding this very very hard. Using Zoom we are having prayers together now - our next 'session' will be Saturday morning - we are actually being helped in this by a non-Orthodox lady who is very very familiar with Zoom and acts as the controller [ or whatever the name is]

archer75 · Apr 15, 2020

Thanks for the prayers, all. And stories. Same to you.

And I didn't realize we didn't have reader services for Holy Week...

nutroll · Apr 15, 2020

Here's a link to Holy Week reader's services:

Holy Week Reader Services Texts

Anhelyna · Apr 16, 2020

Fr Nutroll - thanks for the link for Readers Services

- I'd totally forgotten about that source

That will help me greatly for the next few days

AMM · Apr 16, 2020

The OCA has also posted reader's services for Holy Week, and one of the churches near me (UOCUSA) posted reader's services as well

Andrei D · Apr 16, 2020

I am confused, and to be very honest, depressed. I cannot explain everything, I'll leave it for Confession. I simply try to pray for our hierarchs and for the Lord to show them wisdom, and for our poor priest's health and strength, and for my fellow parishioners. I feel very unsure about my thoughts. Unsure if they are dark thoughts, or correctly grim.

Right now, our situation is that we cannot have any services at all. Our priest is not allowed to serve inside the church at all. He cannot give the Divine Liturgy, not even with one chanter or with a couple of people (and of course not by himself). He cannot perform any the Holy Week services in the church. On Pascha, we cannot distribute the blessed wine soaked bread (I don't know the English name) and we cannot distribute the Holy Light. Oh, and we cannot meet on Zoom to say Christ is Risen either because they fear hackers will get us if we do. We are to do nothing. At all. Stay home. Stay safe.

By the way, these restrictions are NOT imposed by our state or local authorities. We could do most or all of the above with some modifications from usual, within the confines of our governor's decree. Especially for such a small parish, it wouldn't be too difficult or risky at all.

"The blessed Youths in Babylon braved dangers for their fathers’ laws
They ignored the ignorant command of the king
United by a fire which did not consume them"
from Great and Holy Thursday Matins (sung on Wednesday)

rakovsky · Apr 18, 2020

I am planning on chanting services that are normally held on Paschal Sunday. My main challenge is doing the tones.

Ancient Faith Radio has a conceptual discussion about the eight tones and how the musical style differs in the Byzantine "Old World", in Russia, and in the US, with Byzantine chant in the latter being its own adaptation from Byzantine Chant in the "Old World".
The Eight Tones - Our Life in Christ | Ancient Faith Ministries
Personally, I did not find it very helpful for instruction in the tones. It was more of a laid back musing on the topic.

The OCA has a "Tutorial" on the Tones, made up of a commentary and sample of Alexei Lvov and Kievan chants for each tone:
Tutorial for Learning the Tones
Here is the Commentary/"Explanation" for Tone 1:
https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tutorial-Intro-Obikhod-Tone1-Explanation.pdf
I read it, but unfortunately it stopped making much sense to me on the bottom of Page 3 ("In this system, each solfege syllable, do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, and ti, corresponds not to an absolute pitch, but rather to a scale degree...."). This is probably because I didn't go to music school or take a college music class. I have an idea of Tone 1 from being a tenor or bass in the choir myself, and know from experience and from the "Explanation" that Tone 1 has a lot of emphasis on the "D" note. I can feel it in the unison, tenor and bass recordings for Tone 1 in the Tutorial:
Unison: https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tone1_Common_SticheronExample_Unison_021212.mp3
Tenor: https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tone1_Common_SticheronExample_Tenor_021212.mp3
Bass: https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tone1_Common_SticheronExample_Bass_021212.mp3

The OCA site also has a list of music file downloads, which include a song in different tones, and also some sheet music:
Music Downloads

Fr. John Whiteford has texts for Pascha Sunday services for people who want to read them at home as Readers in his article "Holy Week at Home": Fr. John Whiteford: Holy Week at Home, Part 2
He writes: <<Paschal Matins is served at approximately 12:00 a.m., April 19th: http://www.saintjonah.org/services/paschal_matins_rs.doc >>
The Paschal Matins there begins with chanting, with instructions:
"As this is chanted the third time, they go out of the church in procession, however, where this is impractical, this is sung Thrice only."
Well, if you are doing this at home, it's probably not impractical to go out from your house as part of your home service. But here it says "church". Does this mean that you are supposed to go out of your house, or is this only if you are at a consecrated church with a blessed liturgical altar?
I suppose that it doesn't matter and that you can do it all inside, because home Reader services are alot different in general.

Next, it has:
<<ODE I Irmos, Tone 1: It is the Day of Resurrection, / let us be radiant, O ye people; />> (I have the melody from memory.)
<<ODE III Irmos, Tone 1: Come, let us drink a new drink, /
not one miraculously brought forth from a barren rock />> (I don't have the melody in my head)
<<Hypakoe, Eighth Tone: Forestalling the dawn, the women came with Mary>> Here is an OCA version of the song set to music on paper:
https://www.oca.org/files/PDF/Music/Paschal/pascha.hypakoe.obikhod.svs.pdf
It feels hard to do this right without a sound file or video play of the melody.
<<ODE IV, Irmos, Tone 1: On divine watch let the God-inspired Habakkuk stand with us, ODE V, Irmos, Tone 1: Let us awake in the deep dawn, / and instead of myrrh, offer a hymn to the Master, / >> (I kind of have these in my head.)
<<ODE VI, Irmos, Tone 1: Thou didst descend into the nethermost parts of the earth, >> Here is the Moscow Liturgic Choir singing it in Russian, so it could give you an idea of a version of it Tone 1:

But Lvov Obikhod might be different, and besides, I would be doing it in English.
<<Kontakion: Tone 8: Thou didst descend into the tomb, O Immortal, / Thou didst destroy the power of hell.>> Here is the musical sheet for it. It feels manageable:
https://www.oca.org/files/PDF/Music/Paschal/pascha.kon.obikhod.svs.pdf
You can also hear it here, where it ironically feels less manageable:

<<Hymn of the Resurrection: Having beheld the Resurrection of Christ, * let us worship the holy Lord Jesus, * the only sinless One. * ...>>
What are the stars for? Should you bow or cross yourself here?
The hymn starts at 3:07 in the video

But it feels hard to do even after hearing the melody.
<<ODE VII, Irmos, Tone 1: He Who delivered the Children from the furnace, / became man, suffereth as a mortal,>> (I don't have the music for this.)

After Matins comes the Paschal Hours. In his talk on doing the Tones with the Hours, Fr. Whiteford says that if you have trouble with doing Tones, you can just do Tone 1 like with the song "It is meet and right to bless you O Theotokos..." (Fr. John Whiteford: The Paschal Hours (How to do them))

Afterwards come the Typika and then in the middle of the day on Paschal Sunday you can have Agape Vespers.

ArmyMatt · Apr 18, 2020

rakovsky said:
I am planning on chanting services that are normally held on Paschal Sunday. My main challenge is doing the tones.

Ancient Faith Radio has a conceptual discussion about the eight tones and how the musical style differs in the Byzantine "Old World", in Russia, and in the US, with Byzantine chant in the latter being its own adaptation from Byzantine Chant in the "Old World".
The Eight Tones - Our Life in Christ | Ancient Faith Ministries
Personally, I did not find it very helpful for instruction in the tones. It was more of a laid back musing on the topic.

The OCA has a "Tutorial" on the Tones, made up of a commentary and sample of Alexei Lvov and Kievan chants for each tone:
Tutorial for Learning the Tones
Here is the Commentary/"Explanation" for Tone 1:
https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tutorial-Intro-Obikhod-Tone1-Explanation.pdf
I read it, but unfortunately it stopped making much sense to me on the bottom of Page 3 ("In this system, each solfege syllable, do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, and ti, corresponds not to an absolute pitch, but rather to a scale degree...."). This is probably because I didn't go to music school or take a college music class. I have an idea of Tone 1 from being a tenor or bass in the choir myself, and know from experience and from the "Explanation" that Tone 1 has a lot of emphasis on the "D" note. I can feel it in the unison, tenor and bass recordings for Tone 1 in the Tutorial:
Unison: https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tone1_Common_SticheronExample_Unison_021212.mp3
Tenor: https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tone1_Common_SticheronExample_Tenor_021212.mp3
Bass: https://media.oca.org/chanting-tutorial/Tone1_Common_SticheronExample_Bass_021212.mp3

The OCA site also has a list of music file downloads, which include a song in different tones, and also some sheet music:
Music Downloads

Fr. John Whiteford has texts for Pascha Sunday services for people who want to read them at home as Readers in his article "Holy Week at Home": Fr. John Whiteford: Holy Week at Home, Part 2
He writes: <<Paschal Matins is served at approximately 12:00 a.m., April 19th: http://www.saintjonah.org/services/paschal_matins_rs.doc >>
The Paschal Matins there begins with chanting, with instructions:
"As this is chanted the third time, they go out of the church in procession, however, where this is impractical, this is sung Thrice only."
Well, if you are doing this at home, it's probably not impractical to go out from your house as part of your home service. But here it says "church". Does this mean that you are supposed to go out of your house, or is this only if you are at a consecrated church with a blessed liturgical altar?
I suppose that it doesn't matter and that you can do it all inside, because home Reader services are alot different in general.

Next, it has:
<<ODE I Irmos, Tone 1: It is the Day of Resurrection, / let us be radiant, O ye people; />> (I have the melody from memory.)
<<ODE III Irmos, Tone 1: Come, let us drink a new drink, /
not one miraculously brought forth from a barren rock />> (I don't have the melody in my head)
<<Hypakoe, Eighth Tone: Forestalling the dawn, the women came with Mary>> Here is an OCA version of the song set to music on paper:
https://www.oca.org/files/PDF/Music/Paschal/pascha.hypakoe.obikhod.svs.pdf
It feels hard to do this right without a sound file or video play of the melody.
<<ODE IV, Irmos, Tone 1: On divine watch let the God-inspired Habakkuk stand with us, ODE V, Irmos, Tone 1: Let us awake in the deep dawn, / and instead of myrrh, offer a hymn to the Master, / >> (I kind of have these in my head.)
<<ODE VI, Irmos, Tone 1: Thou didst descend into the nethermost parts of the earth, >> Here is the Moscow Liturgic Choir singing it in Russian, so it could give you an idea of a version of it Tone 1:

But Lvov Obikhod might be different, and besides, I would be doing it in English.
<<Kontakion: Tone 8: Thou didst descend into the tomb, O Immortal, / Thou didst destroy the power of hell.>> Here is the musical sheet for it. It feels manageable:
https://www.oca.org/files/PDF/Music/Paschal/pascha.kon.obikhod.svs.pdf
You can also hear it here, where it ironically feels less manageable:

<<Hymn of the Resurrection: Having beheld the Resurrection of Christ, * let us worship the holy Lord Jesus, * the only sinless One. * ...>>
What are the stars for? Should you bow or cross yourself here?
The hymn starts at 3:07 in the video

But it feels hard to do even after hearing the melody.
<<ODE VII, Irmos, Tone 1: He Who delivered the Children from the furnace, / became man, suffereth as a mortal,>> (I don't have the music for this.)

After Matins comes the Paschal Hours. In his talk on doing the Tones with the Hours, Fr. Whiteford says that if you have trouble with doing Tones, you can just do Tone 1 like with the song "It is meet and right to bless you O Theotokos..." (Fr. John Whiteford: The Paschal Hours (How to do them))

Afterwards come the Typika and then in the middle of the day on Paschal Sunday you can have Agape Vespers.

I would not worry about what you don't know. God knows your intention and what we're going through.

rakovsky · Apr 18, 2020

Thanks for your reassurance, Fr. Matt.
What do you think the stars mean in the Hymn of the Resurrection? I don't think that it refers to crossing oneself, because the rest of the Matins text doesn't have the stars, even in places where one would cross oneself, as in "Senior Reader: Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit."

recent experiences (COVID, services)

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