Hey guys, I wanna tell you all about my life the past year and a half, this is kinda long, but it would mean the world to me if you guys read this. I'm a guy and a perfectionist. My dad was a bodybuilder once, and I believe that in some way he's contributed to what I'm gonna tell you, but overall it's me. So anyways, last year in the fall I switched from football to cross country because that summer I had ate too little because I only wanted to eat healthy food. Well once I switched to cross country I exponentially got better, and by the time the season ended I was the #4 runner on the freshman class (we had 48 freshmen runners). So after that season I joined crosscountry skiing, and I ran alot because we never got snow last winter here in Minnesota. How far did I run? I got myself up to 14 miles a day, 100 a week. It was heaven, I never felt so good in my entire life, I ran everyday, everywhere, and eventually got myself to be the best runner in our school of 2,500 students, beating the best CC runner. During this time I had also had an eating disorder, I wasn't anorexic (sp?), but I couldn't be to run how much I did, but I was burning off over double the calories I was taking in by running alone. By the time it was dec.31, my knees just couldn't take what I had been doing, and I simply couldn't run or jog. So I was injured, I was crushed, I hadn't skipped a day of running since oct. So I went to the doc and got into therapy, but I still needed to exercise. So I lifted, and could everyday because of the gym I have downstairs. In May I then had orthopedic surgery on my knees. This surgery had been worthless, and by the end of Aug. 2002 I had developed tendonitis in each of my elbows from my repitious lifting, and my eating disorder had gotten even worse and my knees were no better. So then I started seeing the best orthopedic specialist in the state, and have ever since as I try to get myself out of this. This injury has crippeled everything in my life, socially by not being able to do sports or even bowling, privatly as stress just builds with not being able to relieve it through exercise, and academically as Ive never been so tired before, teachers question about my rest as I sleep in their class, and have to work twice as hard to get my A's. I have a therapy program that requires me to do it everyday to get to the point where I can not feel pain walking, but it's unrealistic to think I can do this everyday, Im sick of doing therapy. But now with spring coming on, my mind is telling me to become even more conscience about my eating so I don't look fat, even though Im not, but my mind thinks I am because if I can't exercise, I must be. So I need some encouragement so I don't get myself any worse eating wise than I am now, whicjh isn't too pretty either. My mind is really sick and twisted as far as standards go for everything I do. Im gonna see my doctor tommorrow, and try to sort this out, Ive never talked to anyone besides my parents about my problems (which I do VERY rarely). I need some prayer, I could type about this forever, because I have so much more to say about what Ive been putting myself through. I know God is gonna turn this into something good eventually, but Ive been patient, and maybe you guys could steer me into the right direction. I appreciate anyone who read this far, thx.
My sickness that I can't cure
- Thread starter Eric Daniel
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Hello Eric,
I understand where you are. I'll be praying for you, there's nothing worse than not being able to do something that you love, and not knowing why God has allowed this to happen, but he has a plan for you, and even though you don't know it, if you can just keep in mind that He has a purpose, it helps (even if just a little).
I understand where you are. I'll be praying for you, there's nothing worse than not being able to do something that you love, and not knowing why God has allowed this to happen, but he has a plan for you, and even though you don't know it, if you can just keep in mind that He has a purpose, it helps (even if just a little).
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i'll be praying for you too, i can't imagine how you must be feeling but the above poster is right, God has plasn for you.
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mxpxchrist_chic
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*deeply sighs*.. okay i just wrote so much and i'm crying now because i lost it all. It was soo from my heart. And i just lost it all. it was so long. i'm going to retype it because i know how much it means to get such a long reply. I can't guarentee if it will be as good as the first one, but i will try my best. (i STILL can't believe that i lost that!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Eric,
I want to tell you a story about my mom's friend Bonnie. She's non-christian and isn't saved. My mom and her have been friends since high school or before. She's been a truck driver all her life. She loves it. She's always on the road. She drives with her husband and her dog. Last year she went to the doctor and they found a tumor in her brain the size of a softball. She had surgery and is healing today. my family and i pray for her continusly. She can't use her right leg ( i think it's the right one) for much of anything. Since my mom is christian.. i believe that this happened to her so she can recieve God. I believe that God is going to use my mom to save Bonnie. I pray for her to recieve him and his healing. My point is that God uses situations sometimes to save or improve someones faith. I'll admit alot of times we go through life and feel that there is no hope. But without hope and faith in God we have nothing. I know that God will use your situation to improve someones faith. I know that God will use you to relate to others that are going through the same thing. You can talk to them and relate to them and maybe they are non christians and God put you through this so you could save them. I pray that God uses you in many ways. I am praying for you now. Here are some scriptures that have to do with Hope:
<DIR>Hope:
<DIR>Psalm 31:24
Romans 15:13
Philippians 4:13
Hebrews 10:35-36
Philippians 1:6
Galatians 6:9
Psalm 27:13-14
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Psalm 138:7
Isaiah 43:1
2 Corinthians 1:22
Hebrews 4:15-16
Hebrews 13:5
1 Peter 5:6-10
2 Peter 1:3-10
Here are some with Peace:
<DIR>
<DIR>Philippians 4:6-7
Romans 5:1
John 14:27
Romans 8:6
Isaiah 26:3
Isaiah 32:17
Psalm 85:8
Romans 15:13
Ephesians 2:13-14
Lamentations 3:25-26
Psalm 146:5
God,
I ask you to use Eric in many ways to help others in his situation. I pray that you would heal him and his heart. I ask you to open up his eyes and his heart so that he may recieve your grace. keep his eyes open so that you can do many things through him. I pray that what i say here blesses him and helps him through. I ask you to bring peace upon him and let him know that you, God, Just let Eric know how much you love him. I pray that he would recieve your love and share it with others. I thank you God for bringing Eric to these forums to get encouragement and help in his life. I pray for Eric to heal, his body, his mind, his heart and soul. I ask that you would show him the way and that there is hope in any situation he faces. Give him the encouragement he needs from you, God, and i ask you to bless him in many ways. I ask of this in Jesus name Amen
Eric, thank God for everyday that he gives you. I Hope that this blesses you in some way and gives you hope and encouragement. I am praying for you. If you need anything.. and i mean anything at all. PM me please. Thank you. Peace Brother, 
Jessica (mxpxchrist_chic)</DIR></DIR></DIR></DIR>
Eric,
I want to tell you a story about my mom's friend Bonnie. She's non-christian and isn't saved. My mom and her have been friends since high school or before. She's been a truck driver all her life. She loves it. She's always on the road. She drives with her husband and her dog. Last year she went to the doctor and they found a tumor in her brain the size of a softball. She had surgery and is healing today. my family and i pray for her continusly. She can't use her right leg ( i think it's the right one) for much of anything. Since my mom is christian.. i believe that this happened to her so she can recieve God. I believe that God is going to use my mom to save Bonnie. I pray for her to recieve him and his healing. My point is that God uses situations sometimes to save or improve someones faith. I'll admit alot of times we go through life and feel that there is no hope. But without hope and faith in God we have nothing. I know that God will use your situation to improve someones faith. I know that God will use you to relate to others that are going through the same thing. You can talk to them and relate to them and maybe they are non christians and God put you through this so you could save them. I pray that God uses you in many ways. I am praying for you now. Here are some scriptures that have to do with Hope:
<DIR>Hope:
<DIR>Psalm 31:24
Romans 15:13
Philippians 4:13
Hebrews 10:35-36
Philippians 1:6
Galatians 6:9
Psalm 27:13-14
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Psalm 138:7
Isaiah 43:1
2 Corinthians 1:22
Hebrews 4:15-16
Hebrews 13:5
1 Peter 5:6-10
2 Peter 1:3-10
Here are some with Peace:
<DIR>
<DIR>Philippians 4:6-7
Romans 5:1
John 14:27
Romans 8:6
Isaiah 26:3
Isaiah 32:17
Psalm 85:8
Romans 15:13
Ephesians 2:13-14
Lamentations 3:25-26
Psalm 146:5
God,
I ask you to use Eric in many ways to help others in his situation. I pray that you would heal him and his heart. I ask you to open up his eyes and his heart so that he may recieve your grace. keep his eyes open so that you can do many things through him. I pray that what i say here blesses him and helps him through. I ask you to bring peace upon him and let him know that you, God, Just let Eric know how much you love him. I pray that he would recieve your love and share it with others. I thank you God for bringing Eric to these forums to get encouragement and help in his life. I pray for Eric to heal, his body, his mind, his heart and soul. I ask that you would show him the way and that there is hope in any situation he faces. Give him the encouragement he needs from you, God, and i ask you to bless him in many ways. I ask of this in Jesus name Amen
Eric, thank God for everyday that he gives you. I Hope that this blesses you in some way and gives you hope and encouragement. I am praying for you. If you need anything.. and i mean anything at all. PM me please. Thank you. Peace Brother,
Jessica (mxpxchrist_chic)</DIR></DIR></DIR></DIR>
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Hey man. You're not alone. You're with others who struggle with this also.
I wish I knew more about EDs and stuff.
As health conscious as you try to be, consider what is healthy, by a dietician's point of view. What is a healthy weight/diet type routine for someone your size? Think of those dieticians and whatnot as instruments in an airplane. Outside it's dark and you can't tell anything, you can't see anything, you only know how you feel about reality. But your instruments, they are telling you what is going on. You gotta rely on them even when you "feel" different.
I wish I knew more about EDs and stuff.
As health conscious as you try to be, consider what is healthy, by a dietician's point of view. What is a healthy weight/diet type routine for someone your size? Think of those dieticians and whatnot as instruments in an airplane. Outside it's dark and you can't tell anything, you can't see anything, you only know how you feel about reality. But your instruments, they are telling you what is going on. You gotta rely on them even when you "feel" different.
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Remny
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Ah first of all dude. Man I'm so impressed by your motivation, I hate running! You sound so motivated and if you can put all this energy into running a billion miles and lifting weights, this eating disorder thing you can get over that easy bro.
Another thing. What is uglier than a typically fat person? A really skinny unhealthy worn out person. I seriously seriously waaaaaay doubt that anyone in their right mind would consider you fat, but even so. There are plenty of tubby guys that chicks think are really hot, and they are successful and charismatic. Think Fred Durst, and Rustle Crow, they got a little tub tub, charlie sheen and John Travolta. People really like these folks. Even Sean Conerry, but I don't suggest you do anything to look like him
Anyhow I'm just sayin' yer not fat, but even if you were a little tiney bit chubby, or even more than that, people would still like you, you could still be healthy, it's no reason to flip out. Hell I got plenty of tummy, but it doesn't keep folks from hittin on me when I go out, it doesn't keep my friends from talkin' to me. As for you dude, you got somethin' I don't and that's a freakin' whole lot of motivation to look good and be healthy. So do it, read some books on muscle building, start carbo loading, get buff or something. Food is ymmy anyhow and you exercise so much you can eat lots of it Now I totally think you'll get over these physical problems of yours, so don't worry about getting a little chubby now, you need nutrients. When yer back in shape if you keep up at half the pace that you were going no amount of food is gona stick to you in a bad way.
Now these days I havn't been too motivated, but I used to body build and when I was, man I could eat 8 times a day and it didn't hurt me at all. I looked like a He-Man Action figure, so don't worry about it. Start learning how to cook things too, that always gets someone to eat a little more.
Ah well I'll pray you get over yer physical problems and that you can truely be healthy, even so your a good influence on me, I feel more motivated already shux though you make me look lazy **** you!
Another thing. What is uglier than a typically fat person? A really skinny unhealthy worn out person. I seriously seriously waaaaaay doubt that anyone in their right mind would consider you fat, but even so. There are plenty of tubby guys that chicks think are really hot, and they are successful and charismatic. Think Fred Durst, and Rustle Crow, they got a little tub tub, charlie sheen and John Travolta. People really like these folks. Even Sean Conerry, but I don't suggest you do anything to look like him
Anyhow I'm just sayin' yer not fat, but even if you were a little tiney bit chubby, or even more than that, people would still like you, you could still be healthy, it's no reason to flip out. Hell I got plenty of tummy, but it doesn't keep folks from hittin on me when I go out, it doesn't keep my friends from talkin' to me. As for you dude, you got somethin' I don't and that's a freakin' whole lot of motivation to look good and be healthy. So do it, read some books on muscle building, start carbo loading, get buff or something. Food is ymmy anyhow and you exercise so much you can eat lots of it
Now I totally think you'll get over these physical problems of yours, so don't worry about getting a little chubby now, you need nutrients. When yer back in shape if you keep up at half the pace that you were going no amount of food is gona stick to you in a bad way.Now these days I havn't been too motivated, but I used to body build and when I was, man I could eat 8 times a day and it didn't hurt me at all. I looked like a He-Man Action figure, so don't worry about it. Start learning how to cook things too, that always gets someone to eat a little more.
Ah well I'll pray you get over yer physical problems and that you can truely be healthy, even so your a good influence on me, I feel more motivated already shux though you make me look lazy **** you!
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Hey thanks for all the replies guys. I just got back from the doc, Im bein treated for depression now, I feel Im gonna start being put on the right track now. I've gotta sort out some mental problems here first and I think this will help. Alot. Ive been depressed for a while, but being a christian I would never do anything to harm myself, so I thought nothin was wrong I guess. My doctor pointed some good stuff out to me, I know you're guys prayers are already working, and hopefully theyll keep resulting in more blessings.
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Your issue reminds me of a song by a band called Kutless although the song is about a girl...(music always helps me through bad times...) You can listen to the song on their site... it is #6, Down. http://www.kutless.com/
Music may not be your thing...but if it is...
I know what it is like to have a disorder that you cannot control. I am so sorry that anyone else has to ever go through that especially at such a young age. (That is when it had started for me.) I much admire your determination, just make sure it is fueled by the right reasons. I am praying for you.
Mixee.
***Praying for Bonnie***
Music may not be your thing...but if it is...
I know what it is like to have a disorder that you cannot control. I am so sorry that anyone else has to ever go through that especially at such a young age.
(That is when it had started for me.) I much admire your determination, just make sure it is fueled by the right reasons. I am praying for you.Mixee.
***Praying for Bonnie***
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mxpxchrist_chic
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thanks all. I appreciate it much!!! *hug* God Bless You Eric, i'm still praying
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