Love in Isolation
The word love is easily over used, and often used and misused in ways that sometimes leave one speechless. We understand that in popular culture it is often mistakenly limited to sexual attraction and coupling.
One of the hardest, or at least most clinical, descriptions of love was posited by Simon Phipps in his Book God on Monday in which he was arguing the case for Christianity in the Workplace, and Industrial Chaplains in particular.
Love is the accurate estimation of a need and the fulfilment of that need.
This of course is essentially process driven and doesn’t seem to have an ontological base. By that I mean that this describes loving actions, but not necessarily Love of itself. Love of itself without action may seem pretty empty, however the actions spring from the love, and the actions are not of themselves the definition of love.
The current situation, as we face the Covid 19 Pandemic is of course a case in point. Where but a couple of months ago, not visiting someone might have been considered anything but loving, today that same act is indeed the loving thing to do.
How can it be that the opposite actions can spring from the same source in only a matter of weeks?
Joseph Fletcher, often seen as the father of Situation Ethics, and indeed wrote a book by that title, would seem to have shown to be correct. The context of the action is critical in determining the moral worth of the action. Of course this has the risk of being a very slippery slope, as it has been argued, and indeed often is by those seeking to justify actions that might otherwise be seen as reprehensible, that anything is possible. So whilst it is clear that context is not the sole defining criteria, it clearly is an important factor.
There is a show on TV (australia), Married at First Sight, which is a reality (so called) TV show based on the idea of people being paired by experts and marrying at the first meeting, and then tracking what happens through what they then call the experiment. Naturally enough many things go wrong, and last year we saw the experts asking some people where their moral compass was. Beyond the obvious reality that they should have been asking where their own moral compass was, it does also suggest that there are defining directions beyond the situation which govern what is ethical.
From early days in the history of Christianity, isolation has been a choice embraced in the main by the few. Anthony of Great escaped to the desert, to embrace such an isolation, and up around him drew the foundations of early monastic communities, known as the desert fathers. Throughout the Christian centuries people have drawn apart to be with God either as a lifestyle choice (hermits) or simply for a period of time to gain strength for the road ahead.
There are many examples in scripture where people have drawn away to pray, to contemplate, or for some other reason, and we see that in both Moses and Jesus. In the main there are people (and by no means everyone) who for some period have embraced isolation. In a sense in the current circumstance we have had isolation forced upon us. How we respond is important.
Some are in isolation with other members of the family, whilst for some isolation is a solo experience, and there is a big difference, not for one moment suggesting that either is easy. If we see this time as a prison sentence thrust upon us, we will rebel against it and will struggle with it. If we see this as a gift in time, then we are likely to have a more positive embrace of it.
The defining marks of Christianity should embrace:
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23
We are challenged to take some time to connect within ourselves and be at peace with both self and God. We should also remember that this time is not a time when we don’t care about each other, but rather a time when we do care. Remember the phone, some have forgotten amidst all the apps you can still use it to talk to another person. There is also texting and email. So unlike any other time in history we have more tools and a greater capacity to connect through isolation.