Broken and Ashamed

You are in the right place..Keep longing for Him...Yes, He is hearing you...Hold on in faith...He is already working in you...

A sacrifice to God is a spirit troubled, that is, (one made) sorry for sin; God, thou shalt not despise a contrite heart, and made meek. Psalm 51:17 (WYC)

King David was a good example of God's love to me. He committed fornication as well as murder yet the Lord graciously forgave Him and called David a man after His own heart.


If David can be forgiven any one can be forgiven, it says in 1 John 2:2 that Jesus died for the sins of the whole world, so no sin is excluded apart not believing God at His word and keeping His loving Spirit out.

Please understand that the accuser of the brethren shuts up when we know that Christ has paid our price. He used to go ballistic in my mind but ever since i dare put my faith in God's love he has fallen silent.

i'm afraid it has more to do with you not forgiving yourself for what you have done against God. One big step i had to take was stop judging myself and trust that God knew what sinner i was but still loved me as His child because of Jesus.


Be of good courage God graciously restores those who really love to have Him back as their Saviour. It is about confessing your sins and believing that forgiveness comes because of Jesus' sake not my own sake.

Peace.

An invitation to The Chosen.

God's Love will not take or will
you to conform to rules or demand
which imprison, enslave, burn or kill you.

God's Love will not pervert what's Good
The Lord loves truthfully Wise and Good.
True Love was, is and always will be Good!

In God's Love you are free to be right!
In His love everything is good proper and kind.
He loves all who love good and true to rule!

His Love is caring, providing, and sharing.
His Love always enjoys and protects good life.
His love rules even when bad life has being in us!

Hear Jesus call - 'Come join up with us all!
Leave whatever ties you down and be free
loving good life with all God's own to be.'

To the rest in your heart God's asks
how long will you tarry in the darkness?
Please leave such bad existence within.

For life must not, no never should, or would, or could,
be forceful, rude, prideful, arrogant, selfish, lustful
or otherwise be untrue to God's loving truth.

Neither should life be hurting or ill,
hungry, oppressed, despised, hated
or otherwise have existence in wrong.

Please hand your Bad Life over to Jesus
Humbly ask for His Good Life back in return
and go love God, self and neighbour with Joy.

The Church knows that Jesus is coming soon
All bad life will be our shameful past then,
so please leave your bad life while you can!

Love

Hopeful37 said:

Is this your writing Jeshu? This poem?

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Yes i used to write a lot of poems. Poems to express the things i had experienced as a mentally ill person but also as a child of God.

i share you a poem i wrote recently reflecting on the fact that Jesus brought me my good life back

Feasting My Good Life.
The Wicked captivated my truth
the truth of my heart and mind
and wound me around their lies
knotted me out of my own reality
into the dungeons of torture below.

Unable to unravel their cob webs
the wicked took control of my life
and brought much pain and misery
feasting on my God given good life
at the expense of my own welfare.

Yet when Christ light lit up my night
and i saw Him on the clouds of heaven
The Wicked sprung all their traps
thinking i was as good as dead
trapped in their nasty Fowler's nets.

Yet the Lion of the tribe of Judea
killed the goats great and small
and set me free from their control
and gave me back my freedom in Him
feasting good times growing New Life.

Though once i was angry enough with God to curse Him to His face, Now Jesus has me glorifying Him and magnifying His great name. i love Him more than my own life.

One thing Jesus told me when i met Him rock bottom. What you sow you shall harvest. So if you sow doubt, shame, guilt, loneliness and fear then you will reap a tortured reality but if you sow faith, love, hope, kindness, caring, sharing, long suffering, self control and patience you will reap God's good life, every day a bit more.

Honest you are sorry for your sin, anyone who is sorry for their sin has God's Spirit in their hearts, for hardened sinners don't care about wrong at all. So put your faith in God's love. He came to rescue lost sinners not those who don't need a healer.

Just keep putting your trust in Him and see for yourself that your tortured reality will begin to disappear.

Psalms 34
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.


I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.


Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.


The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.


The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.


The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.


Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Hopeful37 said:

I think about all the things I've done and wish with all my heart I could go back to the day I was baptised. I felt so new and fresh and loved. I felt His presence and knew without a shadow of a doubt i was His. Somewhere along the way I compromised and one major slip caused me to repent and turn back to Jesus again. In my efforts to make amends and try to live right, somehow my heart compromised again and although I look back i realised what was minor turned major and I fell hard again. By didn't I keep steadfast in the Word? This a a major regret I've had. This time I'm trying to get back up but it's hard. I'm hurting and hurting badly. I keep asking myself why I made the mistakes that I made and why did it have to be me? Why did I compromise a good friendship with God. Would I be healed from this hurt? Would He be gracious unto me and heal my inner wounds? Would He still love me as His child? Hurting this way makes me see and miss what a loving God He is. I miss the inner assurance and safety that I once had. I am one of those thay question my salvation although scripture states that it can't be lost although there is debate regarding the matter. I have read testimony after testimony of God pulling people from the darkness after years a terribIe sin. I long to be free. I long for His light and life to shine boldly in my life. I have since coward with fear. A voice torments me within. An accusing, misleading voice. Where is the voice that I long to hear? That comforting, reassuring voice? I'm depressed, anxious and at times scared. Is He hearing me? And when He looks at me does He look at me with approval? Is He trying me right Now? I think to myself I sinned against Him. Even the righteous are tried. God has mercy on alot of sinners but what about a broken sinner like me...

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Please let it go - pray and ask God to help you let it go. Go to God and ask forgiveness, then - let it go. When your mind goes back to the regret, push it aside with more prayer, read scripture, tell God what you feel. He already knows and has forgiven you, now forgive yourself and don't look back - only remember long enough to correct yourself going forward. You are again new and fresh and loved by Him - He lets us start over time and again - He paid our price already on the cross many years ago. All He wants to hear is that you're sorry, that you repent - and it's over. He still loves you - He always will. I've asked for forgiveness so many times over the years, and regret has almost killed me. I asked God what I should do - I was desperate. When I didn't hear back from God, I kept praying and knew I should just wait for Him to let me know how to proceed. What happened? Each time I prayed or read scripture, my mind couldn't reflect back on my sins. So I kept it up - and gradually that "accusing, misleading voice" that you referenced, couldn't get through - and I don't hear it anymore. And if I do, I know how to override it with God's voice which gives me all the comfort I need to keep going.

May you know that God's comfort and guidance are there to heal you now - and that His light is shining on you at this very moment.

Songs which sing scripture to me have been very helpful. i love Sherri Youngward and the Sons of Korah, an Australian gospel band, the best.

The following song is one of my favourite.

Hopeful37 said:

It's a beautiful song! Thank u.

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You like it because, like me, you have the Spirit of God in your heart, He makes God's word speak deepest deep within us and brings us forgiveness and peace.

Don't you reckon?

You said it well yourself, that the accusing voice is misleading.

There is a belief many people hold, that the more God works in a sinner, the more aware the sinner becomes of their sin and their nature in the flesh. Imagine it like a light slowly illuminating things. At first we notice small things, perhaps even big things, but the more the light shines, the more we realize our fallen state and our corrupt heart. It can be a terrifying thing but I believe it happens for a reason, it's not the curse we might feel it to be, there's a lot of blessing and God's work involved. Do not think you're a bigger sinner now than you were before when your mind was more at ease. None of this, nothing about our sinful state is a surprise to God. He has always known exactly what we are, and what did He give us? He gave us Jesus Christ.

Christ didn't come to die just for petty sins, for small transgressions. He came to die for sins that absolutely make us sick and break our hearts. If we fix our eyes to the cross and just continue looking at it, looking at what's happening, we're witnessing a great sacrifice. There is no greater sacrifice, there can be no better, no higher, more sacred nor more satisfactory sacrifice for any sin. It wasn't just for small sins, even back then when the Jews sacrificed lambs for their sins before Christ came. But Christ is the greatest lamb, the last offering. Now, if the Son of God dies for our sins, it must meet our case and this includes you. No matter how broken you are, He died for you too. It is the sick who need the healer, and those who know themselves to be sick will ask and want for the healer all the more. It's hard for us to value Jesus Christ and what He did/does, if we don't know how much we need Him.

Blessed are the spiritually poor, and blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Is that not what we are? And you here specifically, you're mourning your own poverty and hungering after what you can't find in yourself. But you are blessed. Take courage.

It's a great psalm, what sister @gospels quoted. A psalm of David, in which a great sinner makes his plea for the Lord, and it's all about the goodness of God. There is nothing mentioned about the goodness of the sinner, quite the opposite, he can not offer anything but his broken spirit and heart. That's all he can bring to the table. He even sings about God having crushed his bones, but then immediately asks for his broken bones the opportunity to rejoice. I think that sums up faith quite well, hanging on to God's goodness no matter what our situation is, no matter how broken we are or feel. We can approach God with courage. His love is unfailing, and Jesus Christ, who prayed for those who were killing Him, is your Lord and Shepherd.

I heard a song yesterday, Psalm 51 arranged into a really good folk-ish song. I don't think it was an accident. Here it is, have a good cry:

i was thinking of you today when this song popped up in my mind i thought you might like it to help you on the way today.

Hopeful37 said:

I think about all the things I've done and wish with all my heart I could go back to the day I was baptised. I felt so new and fresh and loved. I felt His presence and knew without a shadow of a doubt i was His. Somewhere along the way I compromised and one major slip caused me to repent and turn back to Jesus again. In my efforts to make amends and try to live right, somehow my heart compromised again and although I look back i realised what was minor turned major and I fell hard again. By didn't I keep steadfast in the Word? This a a major regret I've had. This time I'm trying to get back up but it's hard. I'm hurting and hurting badly. I keep asking myself why I made the mistakes that I made and why did it have to be me? Why did I compromise a good friendship with God. Would I be healed from this hurt? Would He be gracious unto me and heal my inner wounds? Would He still love me as His child? Hurting this way makes me see and miss what a loving God He is. I miss the inner assurance and safety that I once had. I am one of those thay question my salvation although scripture states that it can't be lost although there is debate regarding the matter. I have read testimony after testimony of God pulling people from the darkness after years a terribIe sin. I long to be free. I long for His light and life to shine boldly in my life. I have since coward with fear. A voice torments me within. An accusing, misleading voice. Where is the voice that I long to hear? That comforting, reassuring voice? I'm depressed, anxious and at times scared. Is He hearing me? And when He looks at me does He look at me with approval? Is He trying me right Now? I think to myself I sinned against Him. Even the righteous are tried. God has mercy on alot of sinners but what about a broken sinner like me...

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Who could Jesus be in your head? Just a pile of beliefs? Can you confirm any belief you have?

Hopeful37 said:

I think about all the things I've done and wish with all my heart I could go back to the day I was baptised. I felt so new and fresh and loved. I felt His presence and knew without a shadow of a doubt i was His. Somewhere along the way I compromised and one major slip caused me to repent and turn back to Jesus again. In my efforts to make amends and try to live right, somehow my heart compromised again and although I look back i realised what was minor turned major and I fell hard again. By didn't I keep steadfast in the Word? This a a major regret I've had. This time I'm trying to get back up but it's hard. I'm hurting and hurting badly. I keep asking myself why I made the mistakes that I made and why did it have to be me? Why did I compromise a good friendship with God. Would I be healed from this hurt? Would He be gracious unto me and heal my inner wounds? Would He still love me as His child? Hurting this way makes me see and miss what a loving God He is. I miss the inner assurance and safety that I once had. I am one of those thay question my salvation although scripture states that it can't be lost although there is debate regarding the matter. I have read testimony after testimony of God pulling people from the darkness after years a terribIe sin. I long to be free. I long for His light and life to shine boldly in my life. I have since coward with fear. A voice torments me within. An accusing, misleading voice. Where is the voice that I long to hear? That comforting, reassuring voice? I'm depressed, anxious and at times scared. Is He hearing me? And when He looks at me does He look at me with approval? Is He trying me right Now? I think to myself I sinned against Him. Even the righteous are tried. God has mercy on alot of sinners but what about a broken sinner like me...

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You aren’t defined by this moment.
No matter how empty you feel now, this one moment in time does not define who you are. Your identity will never be wrapped up as your failures, bad luck, or misfortunes. God made your identity as a child of His. You are a Christian and that is the your true identity. He sees your heart and your pain and He knows you are still his. He is the only one that can ever label you – and He has determined that you are a beautiful masterpiece.

No matter how alone you feel, how broken you think you are, God is standing right there with you. The following is a love letter from God posted online years ago and by an anonymous person. I hope you cherish it as have I.

My Daughter,
I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1)
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2)
I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31)
For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)
In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28)
For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28)

I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)
I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)
And all your days are written in my eternal book. (Psalm 139:15-16)
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16)
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1)
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18)
And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)
For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5)

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11)
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Revelation 21:3-4)
And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4)

My Son's sacrifice demonstrates that I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31)
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32)
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again! (Romans 8:38-39)
I have always been Father, and will always be your Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15)

Hopeful37 said:

He's all I want and all I need. I could have $1 And Jesus and be the wealthiest person on the earth. I see things differently. It's a privilege to be with Christ. It's a privilege to follow Him. We didn't do Him any favours. It's His favour towards us. HE IS absolutely lovely and wonderful. Beautiful. Worthy to be adored. He's everything I could wish for and more...

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So true Jesus can be our everything and then nothing is lacking. He is the Lord who brings us our satisfaction and our peace. With Him we inherit the whole earth.

so keep cultivating those times you are close to Christ. For we can be close to Christ even when we are in our pit rock bottom. Also there He is Lord. No one knows how to fight depression better than Jesus. Jesus knew what it was like to be rock bottom and yet out of His worst time God got the best out of Him to benefit everyone with His loving grace.

So thankful you have been encouraged. That Jesus grant you His loving truth as your dwelling place for with Him we are save from the attacks of satan.

Peace.

Revelation 21:5-7
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.

Hopeful37 said:

Yes. I have had experiences I cannot explain. When i was younger, a bandit jumped in the backseat of my mother's car when she went to the bakery and held a gun to my lower spine and told me to tell her he was my friend. I didn't know what to do. At that time I was Roman Catholic and the first thing that came to my mind was St. Michael the Arc Angel. She came in the car and I said Mum, this is my friend Michael. She looked in the backseat, she looked at me paralysed with fear and stepped back out of the car yelling fire. People started to come towards the car. The bandit jumped out and ran! I believe mum was guided as to what to do. I thought I would be dead or paralysed that night. God knew my ignorance at the time with my beliefs in terms of what I know now of scripture. Jesus saved us that evening. Nobody could convince me Jesus is not real.

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I had a experience that I can not explain, is essentially the number1 reason for thinking supernatural force's are working in your favour. They always seem to fit right in with the beliefs you hold dear.

Hopeful37 said:

I think about all the things I've done and wish with all my heart I could go back to the day I was baptised. I felt so new and fresh and loved. I felt His presence and knew without a shadow of a doubt i was His. Somewhere along the way I compromised and one major slip caused me to repent and turn back to Jesus again. In my efforts to make amends and try to live right, somehow my heart compromised again and although I look back i realised what was minor turned major and I fell hard again. By didn't I keep steadfast in the Word? This a a major regret I've had. This time I'm trying to get back up but it's hard. I'm hurting and hurting badly. I keep asking myself why I made the mistakes that I made and why did it have to be me? Why did I compromise a good friendship with God. Would I be healed from this hurt? Would He be gracious unto me and heal my inner wounds? Would He still love me as His child? Hurting this way makes me see and miss what a loving God He is. I miss the inner assurance and safety that I once had. I am one of those thay question my salvation although scripture states that it can't be lost although there is debate regarding the matter. I have read testimony after testimony of God pulling people from the darkness after years a terribIe sin. I long to be free. I long for His light and life to shine boldly in my life. I have since coward with fear. A voice torments me within. An accusing, misleading voice. Where is the voice that I long to hear? That comforting, reassuring voice? I'm depressed, anxious and at times scared. Is He hearing me? And when He looks at me does He look at me with approval? Is He trying me right Now? I think to myself I sinned against Him. Even the righteous are tried. God has mercy on alot of sinners but what about a broken sinner like me...

Click to expand...

" 'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come.
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home."

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8.38-39)