I may or may not lose an internet connection in a few days and if I couldn't reply here, I'm very sorry and I apologize in advance.
I am a troubled, unsocial and depressed individual with a broken sexuality. I was physically involved with a boy my age as a teen because I never knew how to relate to men other than sexually. I was lucky he was never abusive and he's given me the courage and made me feel that I can make it in the real world despite my host of problems.
However it's not working and I've given up on being financially independent a few years ago. I receive support from the government. Despite being lucky meeting him and other good people who's helped me when I was younger, I remain an antisocial *oser decades later.
I thought I would be fine remaining single the rest of my life after he and I broke up and I've never sought dating and marrying for decades. I was not sure if I could be a normal mother even if I was able to get married. I feared abusing my own child.
Now I'm at a age where having a child is no longer an issue I've found myself a few times wondering if I should be seeking dating. It is when I find myself getting an attention from good bosses at work due to my difficulty relating to coworkers in general.
I consider myself a sex addict and with my sick brain I start romanticizing a relationship with a boss. At a certain factory where I work today I've learned that 4 in 5 new workers leave though the work itself is quite simple and anyone with practice will be able perform well. Several bosses I have here are very great and not ignorant of a hostile culture among workers. I developed a crush on one younger leader and I sense I'm scaring him. I am very ashamed, but all my bosses who are familiar with my interpersonal problems are male.
When I was a bit younger I developed a strong compulsion to seek one night relationships under a certain stress. I didn't act on it and the compulsion faded away, but now I find myself in a similar situation on a daily basis. I've gotten quite used to unfriendly exchanges at work with women, but every time the leaders are watching and basically I guess have pity on me. I understand it is their work and most likely I will only bring shame on myself, but I fear my possible misconduct very much. I am behaving weird enough now to avoid them at all costs which I think is better than me sexually harassing them (but not working very well since it is their job to watch over me).
I had known a young woman who had all the surpassing qualities than any women I've come across in life who couldn't stop turning to men at work. She was with a certain psychiatric condition which I believe is far lighter than mine, but every time she faced failures she seemed to turn to men for support emotionally and physically. She genuinely struggled with her tendencies and although she was the most attractive woman unlike myself, I so much relate to her.
Unlike her in my case, the problem may only be my embarrassment , bad reputation and the bosse's suffering, but with a similar past at a different work place, this is at least my 2nd time wondering whether or not I should try dating service and distracting myself.
I'm not sure how to get rid of this crush on a leader who is watching me every day or the tendency to develop crushes at work which can be a disaster I'd like to avoid. Is there any thoughts other than seeking dating service?
I am withdrawn, with depression and anxiety, away from church, away from any human contacts except at work. Things were okay with a former work place where most workers were women and friendly, but it went bankrupt. The current factory may have a hard air, but the pay and the managers are quite good and very stable.
I am a troubled, unsocial and depressed individual with a broken sexuality. I was physically involved with a boy my age as a teen because I never knew how to relate to men other than sexually. I was lucky he was never abusive and he's given me the courage and made me feel that I can make it in the real world despite my host of problems.
However it's not working and I've given up on being financially independent a few years ago. I receive support from the government. Despite being lucky meeting him and other good people who's helped me when I was younger, I remain an antisocial *oser decades later.
I thought I would be fine remaining single the rest of my life after he and I broke up and I've never sought dating and marrying for decades. I was not sure if I could be a normal mother even if I was able to get married. I feared abusing my own child.
Now I'm at a age where having a child is no longer an issue I've found myself a few times wondering if I should be seeking dating. It is when I find myself getting an attention from good bosses at work due to my difficulty relating to coworkers in general.
I consider myself a sex addict and with my sick brain I start romanticizing a relationship with a boss. At a certain factory where I work today I've learned that 4 in 5 new workers leave though the work itself is quite simple and anyone with practice will be able perform well. Several bosses I have here are very great and not ignorant of a hostile culture among workers. I developed a crush on one younger leader and I sense I'm scaring him. I am very ashamed, but all my bosses who are familiar with my interpersonal problems are male.
When I was a bit younger I developed a strong compulsion to seek one night relationships under a certain stress. I didn't act on it and the compulsion faded away, but now I find myself in a similar situation on a daily basis. I've gotten quite used to unfriendly exchanges at work with women, but every time the leaders are watching and basically I guess have pity on me. I understand it is their work and most likely I will only bring shame on myself, but I fear my possible misconduct very much. I am behaving weird enough now to avoid them at all costs which I think is better than me sexually harassing them (but not working very well since it is their job to watch over me).
I had known a young woman who had all the surpassing qualities than any women I've come across in life who couldn't stop turning to men at work. She was with a certain psychiatric condition which I believe is far lighter than mine, but every time she faced failures she seemed to turn to men for support emotionally and physically. She genuinely struggled with her tendencies and although she was the most attractive woman unlike myself, I so much relate to her.
Unlike her in my case, the problem may only be my embarrassment , bad reputation and the bosse's suffering, but with a similar past at a different work place, this is at least my 2nd time wondering whether or not I should try dating service and distracting myself.
I'm not sure how to get rid of this crush on a leader who is watching me every day or the tendency to develop crushes at work which can be a disaster I'd like to avoid. Is there any thoughts other than seeking dating service?
I am withdrawn, with depression and anxiety, away from church, away from any human contacts except at work. Things were okay with a former work place where most workers were women and friendly, but it went bankrupt. The current factory may have a hard air, but the pay and the managers are quite good and very stable.
