- Aug 27, 2017
- 19
- 20
- 36
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
Hello all.
I'm a 32 year old single female, never married. I've had two long lasting relationships (one for 2 years from 18-20, one for 4 years from 25-29). Since turning 30, I have had several things happen to me physically which have caused my confidence to plummet to an all time low.
First off, I lost about 50% of my hair after my last breakup. This was due to something called "stress induced telogen effluvium". I would lose clumps and clumps of hair in the shower would constantly have hair strands all over my clothes throughout the day. This loss has slowed down, but now I have extreme thinning through my temples and my hairline is very sparse. I have to wear "toppers" which are basically a half wig that clips onto the top of your head. The toppers have brought my confidence back, but am terrified to start dating because I dread telling a guy that I basically wear wigs. I don't feel like guys will find me attractive without the hair.
In addition to this, I was diagnosed with PCOS which causes increased testosterone levels leading to excess body hair. I have to get laser hair removal on my face every 5 weeks. I also have to shave every single day (underarms, bikini line, legs, etc). Sorry if this is TMI. I just wanted to share the full picture of what's going on.
I realize these are just superficial insecurities, but I feel like I'm going to be single forever because they are holding me back from even wanting to date. I don't feel attractive without putting excessive effort into my appearance and can't imagine being married to and living with a man in my natural state.
I love the Lord. He is the center of my life and everything in my life revolves around my faith. I think I would make a great, loyal, loving wife. But these insecurities are killing me. Sometimes I wonder if God caused these things to happen to my appearance just so that I will remain single. Maybe He has called me to a life of singleness?
I want to believe that a Christian man would care more about my inner beauty than my outer appearance since even the Bible talks about outer beauty fading...but I've been burned in the past by being cheated on. I also recently developed feelings for a guy in my Bible study group who has a lot in common with me. We've talked a lot over the past several months and feel that we get along well and have fun together, but he has shown absolutely no romantic interest in me. But then, as soon as a younger (10 years younger than him) beautiful woman came into the group he was instantly flirting with her. I can't help but feel that it's based on my looks that he is not interested in me because he didn't even get to know that girl on a spiritual level before he started flirting with her.
I just feel so much grief over the fact that I'm not a "natural" beauty. I find myself feeling jealous of other women who can just put their hair up in a messy bun and walk out the door looking beautiful. It's embarrassing and truly holds me back from so many things (not just dating - I pass on anything that involves exercising with other people, swimming, etc where I can't wear my hair). I'm just not sure how to get past this. Any encouragement and prayer is welcome.
I'm a 32 year old single female, never married. I've had two long lasting relationships (one for 2 years from 18-20, one for 4 years from 25-29). Since turning 30, I have had several things happen to me physically which have caused my confidence to plummet to an all time low.
First off, I lost about 50% of my hair after my last breakup. This was due to something called "stress induced telogen effluvium". I would lose clumps and clumps of hair in the shower would constantly have hair strands all over my clothes throughout the day. This loss has slowed down, but now I have extreme thinning through my temples and my hairline is very sparse. I have to wear "toppers" which are basically a half wig that clips onto the top of your head. The toppers have brought my confidence back, but am terrified to start dating because I dread telling a guy that I basically wear wigs. I don't feel like guys will find me attractive without the hair.
In addition to this, I was diagnosed with PCOS which causes increased testosterone levels leading to excess body hair. I have to get laser hair removal on my face every 5 weeks. I also have to shave every single day (underarms, bikini line, legs, etc). Sorry if this is TMI. I just wanted to share the full picture of what's going on.
I realize these are just superficial insecurities, but I feel like I'm going to be single forever because they are holding me back from even wanting to date. I don't feel attractive without putting excessive effort into my appearance and can't imagine being married to and living with a man in my natural state.
I love the Lord. He is the center of my life and everything in my life revolves around my faith. I think I would make a great, loyal, loving wife. But these insecurities are killing me. Sometimes I wonder if God caused these things to happen to my appearance just so that I will remain single. Maybe He has called me to a life of singleness?
I want to believe that a Christian man would care more about my inner beauty than my outer appearance since even the Bible talks about outer beauty fading...but I've been burned in the past by being cheated on. I also recently developed feelings for a guy in my Bible study group who has a lot in common with me. We've talked a lot over the past several months and feel that we get along well and have fun together, but he has shown absolutely no romantic interest in me. But then, as soon as a younger (10 years younger than him) beautiful woman came into the group he was instantly flirting with her. I can't help but feel that it's based on my looks that he is not interested in me because he didn't even get to know that girl on a spiritual level before he started flirting with her.
I just feel so much grief over the fact that I'm not a "natural" beauty. I find myself feeling jealous of other women who can just put their hair up in a messy bun and walk out the door looking beautiful. It's embarrassing and truly holds me back from so many things (not just dating - I pass on anything that involves exercising with other people, swimming, etc where I can't wear my hair). I'm just not sure how to get past this. Any encouragement and prayer is welcome.