How should Christians educate the youth on sexual issues?

Skittles

Active Member
Apr 4, 2019
98
115
57
Southeast
✟38,305.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
God knows our hearts and made us with these desires. The issue isn’t the desire - it’s the proper disposition of that desire and the development of virtues like self control and temperance and chastity which don’t deny the desires but properly disposition them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2PhiloVoid
Upvote 0

Zoii

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2016
5,811
3,982
23
Australia
✟103,785.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Seeker
Marital Status
Single
Which of us is this directed to, Zoii? It's difficult to tell since you didn't use the quote brackets to designate a specific response to a specific individual on this thread. ;)

Thanks!
Well, that wasn't very clever of me.

There's been a suggestion that the education should focus on abstinence (including masturbation) using fear/guilt as the motivational factor ie God will hate/punish you for being bad/sinful.

I appreciate this is CF and hence the line of thought will always be that sex is wicked or evil unless married to a heterosexual partner. My view is that this is very out of touch with today's teenagers. Its stuck in the BC era and all but a few teens will find the message nonsensical and alienate them. It doesn't appeal to any logic for them. Nor does it address what they yearn to know.
 
Upvote 0

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
It worked for many teens I know. As for being out of step with the world - the messed up hookup culture is a disaster.

"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.“. John 15:18

abstinence only works for some, but the statistics show it fatally fails in all metrics.
 
Upvote 0

2PhiloVoid

Yes, you're right! I'm not Gandalf!
Supporter
Oct 28, 2006
21,124
9,946
The Void!
✟1,125,860.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
There's been a suggestion that the education should focus on abstinence (including masturbation) using fear/guilt as the motivational factor ie God will hate/punish you for being bad/sinful.

I appreciate this is CF and hence the line of thought will always be that sex is wicked or evil unless married to a heterosexual partner. My view is that this is very out of touch with today's teenagers. Its stuck in the BC era and all but a few teens will find the message nonsensical and alienate them. It doesn't appeal to any logic for them. Nor does it address what they yearn to know.

Why does discussion on sexuality and relationships always quickly segue to the homosexuality issue? And what is it that teens want to know these days that they think they aren't being told?
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Which metrics?

states with the highest STD's, highest teen pregnancy's, among other things, and I think I rates of abortions too, things that you get when you have sex unprotected because those teaching think it's better to tell kids, "Have protected sex and you will die." so you scare kids into not having sex. Those are all heavily linked to states with abstinence only courses.
 
Upvote 0

2PhiloVoid

Yes, you're right! I'm not Gandalf!
Supporter
Oct 28, 2006
21,124
9,946
The Void!
✟1,125,860.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
states with the highest STD's, highest teen pregnancy's, among other things, and I think I rates of abortions too, things that you get when you have sex unprotected because those teaching think it's better to tell kids, "Have protected sex and you will die." so you scare kids into not having sex. Those are all heavily linked to states with abstinence only courses.

Y'know, I'm not sure why "Abstinence" has to been seen as such a cultural bug-a-boo ...

... I mean, it's not like anyone's actually doing it these days to know what an 'abstinence culture' would really and truly be like on a nation wide scale. Maybe we all ought to start trying it as a valid, interpersonal option, but more in line with biblical notions of earlier sexual engagement rather than that which is promoted and pushed for financial and individualistic reasons (so-called 'practical' reasons) by Modern Capitalist impulses.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hazelelponi
Upvote 0

Skittles

Active Member
Apr 4, 2019
98
115
57
Southeast
✟38,305.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
states with the highest STD's, highest teen pregnancy's, among other things, and I think I rates of abortions too, things that you get when you have sex unprotected because those teaching think it's better to tell kids, "Have protected sex and you will die." so you scare kids into not having sex. Those are all heavily linked to states with abstinence only courses.
Can you cite or link to specific sources?
 
Upvote 0

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
  • Like
Reactions: Strathos
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Skittles

Active Member
Apr 4, 2019
98
115
57
Southeast
✟38,305.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Might be a bit hard to read as there is a ton of information but this looks like a good source,

Abstinence-Only Education and Teen Pregnancy Rates: Why We Need Comprehensive Sex Education in the U.S

The research showed small changes in attitude and no real changes in behavior. More to the point of your post a quote from one of the papers you cite:

“Youth in the program group, however, were no more likely to have engaged in unprotected sex than their control group counterparts.В Finally, there were no differences in potential consequences of teen sex, including pregnancies, births, and reported STDs.”
 
Upvote 0

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
The research showed small changes in attitude and no real changes in behavior. More to the point of your post a quote from one of the papers you cite:

“Youth in the program group, however, were no more likely to have engaged in unprotected sex than their control group counterparts.В Finally, there were no differences in potential consequences of teen sex, including pregnancies, births, and reported STDs.”

where is that from i don't see it in the one I gave you, if you look at the one I gave you, you can see that the higher the abstinence level the higher the average rates.
 
Upvote 0

Hazelelponi

I'm back
Supporter
Jun 25, 2018
9,210
8,688
55
USA
✟676,606.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
You know it's nice to think all that it would be beautiful if that's how the world worked but it's not teenagers are going to have sex young adults are going to have sex I don't care what they tell you in church or at home to their parents they're having sex. You teach them that sex should be for marriage it should be with someone you love but you also teach them to protect themselves. It's like going swimming you can go in the water and not drown and die but if you don't know how to swim and you end up in deep water you're going to drown and die. Same with sex you can have sex and not get someone pregnant or get an STD and die. but if you repeatedly do it without any protection or knowledge of protection eventually you will get someone pregnant at best and it worse get an STD and die. Here's one for you my old pastor son who died of HIV here's a question how many women did he have sex with without protection while he had HIV. People need to quit pretending that the world is a fairy tale where everybody he's nice and kind and listens to everything God says in the Bible because it's not it would be nice if it was but until God comes back it's not


There have always been a percentage of teenagers who smoke too... did that mean you ran out and bought your kid their first pack of cigarettes so they could light up easier? Have it there just in case they decided to start?

Or did you teach them the truth, that smoking is hazardous to their health and how to stand up to peer pressure?

Sex isn't evil, but there is an approved way to have it for the Christian (within the confines of the marriage covenant) and a sinful means of having it (outside of marriage).

We should teach kids all about sex the why's and wherefore's and even the how's, but we shouldn't be dismissive of the truth and act like kids can't manage to stand up to peer pressure so they shouldn't have to try... we teach them HOW.
 
Upvote 0

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
There have always been a percentage of teenagers who smoke too... did that mean you ran out and bought your kid their first pack of cigarettes so they could light up easier? Have it there just in case they decided to start?

Or did you teach them the truth, that smoking is hazardous to their health and how to stand up to peer pressure?

Sex isn't evil, but there is an approved way to have it for the Christian (within the confines of the marriage covenant) and a sinful means of having it (outside of marriage).

We should teach kids all about sex the why's and wherefore's and even the how's, but we shouldn't be dismissive of the truth and act like kids can't manage to stand up to peer pressure so they shouldn't have to try... we teach them HOW.

your ignoring most of that peer pressure comes from their own bodies, as others pointed out humans were not really evolved/designed to wait 6-8 years to have marriage, and a side effect is high divorce rates due to kids marrying too early.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Paulos23
Upvote 0

Hazelelponi

I'm back
Supporter
Jun 25, 2018
9,210
8,688
55
USA
✟676,606.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
your ignoring most of that peer pressure comes from their own bodies, as others pointed out humans were not really evolved/designed to wait 6-8 years to have marriage, and a side effect is high divorce rates due to kids marrying too early.

We can overcome our bodies natural desires, we do it every day and if we don't there's a serious issue.

We can teach abstinence until there is a spouse. All of life is an exercise of willpower.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Skittles
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
We can overcome our bodies natural desires, we do it every day and if we don't there's a serious issue.

We can teach abstinence until there is a spouse. All of life is an exercise of willpower.

I'm not against teaching astinence, the issue is the failed experiment of pretending, "We don't tell kids about sex they won't have it." and not teaching them how to protect themselves. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Paulos23
Upvote 0

Hazelelponi

I'm back
Supporter
Jun 25, 2018
9,210
8,688
55
USA
✟676,606.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
I'm not against teaching astinence, the issue is the failed experiment of pretending, "We don't tell kids about sex they won't have it." and not teaching them how to protect themselves. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

I never gave my kids a pack of cigarettes or a bong because they might succumb to peer pressure...

Try the book:

Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength
Book by John Tierney and Roy Baumeister

Teach your kids how to actually exercise their will, and see them become a better person for it.

We teach them to use willpower for every single instinct they have, until it comes to sex and for some reason have decided it's okay not to teach kids to use their willpower on that.. it's ridiculous.
 
Upvote 0

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I never gave my kids a pack of cigarettes or a bong because they might succumb to peer pressure...

Try the book:

Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength
Book by John Tierney and Roy Baumeister

Teach your kids how to actually exercise their will, and see them become a better person for it.

We teach them to use willpower for every single instinct they have, until it comes to sex and for some reason have decided it's okay not to teach kids to use their willpower on that.. it's ridiculous.

Yeah sorry this doesn't work, the reality is they will have sex, best to educate them, sure tell them not to have sex, but teach them how to protect themselves. Your method is ruining lives on the argument of, "We shouldn't do that as it's wrong."
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Paulos23
Upvote 0

Hazelelponi

I'm back
Supporter
Jun 25, 2018
9,210
8,688
55
USA
✟676,606.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
Yeah sorry this doesn't work, the reality is they will have sex, best to educate them, sure tell them not to have sex, but teach them how to protect themselves. Your method is ruining lives on the argument of, "We shouldn't do that as it's wrong."


I raised two kids... they weren't out having sex the second they hit puberty.

I ruined zero lives... I taught my kids to live what they believed, which seems missing across Christianity today. It involves teaching a lifestyle that opposes the world around it... parents would do better if they taught their kids how.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Skittles
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

loveofourlord

Newbie
Feb 15, 2014
8,118
4,528
✟269,140.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I raised two kids... they weren't out having sex the second they hit puberty.

I ruined zero lives... I taught my kids to live what they believed, which seems missing across Christianity today. It involves teaching a lifestyle that opposes the world around it... parents would do better if they taught their kids how.

yeah, thats not how the real world works, funny how some of the most religious states have some of the higher rates, especially those corelated with abstinence only education. I said your method is ruining lives. Pretending kids won't have sex is dangerous.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Paulos23
Upvote 0