I'm Afraid I'm Not A Real Christian

FightTheFlesh

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I heard of you're not born again you will not see the kingdom of God. Well I get very bad feelings about Jesus a lot. I was never scared to accept Jesus but I remember once feeling some form of anger towards him which is not right. I'm afraid I was never a true christian and I am so confused. A friend once told me something so saddening to me. I don't know if I was ever a child of God. I'm so afraid that God is going to judge me one day. I think I love the world. I used to didn't think much about the world but something at some point changed. I don't know if I'll make it into heaven. I'm afraid also that I've been exposed to corona virus and it's like I'm living a nightmare. I will admit when I first accepted Jesus it was out of fear and not love, and I feel it's another sign I'm not a true christian and to be honest i think I'm a coward and I do not love anyone and feel that i cannot love. I sometimes find myself feeling hatred towards those who try to get me in a relationship. At this point I don't know what to do. I don't even know if i lost my salvation and that's if i was ever even saved in the first place. I feel that I'm too evil to even be a child of God and sometimes wonder if I'm a child of that other guy instead. I'm way too selfish and i sometimes find myself delighting in evil things and I sincerely hate that about myself and it causes me grief because i feel like I have no purpose on this earth and i should not have been born. I don't feel that i am a good person. I also get skeptical of Jesus because I was told it's the white mans God and that Jesus does not love me basically if im black. I've never had love and i wonder sometimes if maybe i was born with a demon cause if so God should have never created me. I can ask you guys all day long to pray for me but in the end I'm most just gonna end up back doubting it. I doubt everything and i sincerely hate myself because of it. I feel like I'm pathetic. I'm at the point where i wish i had never been born. What is even my purpose on this earth. I believe i am asexual and i think i will never love someone or experience sexual attraction I'm vaginall basically 30 now and have not had a true relationship. My life is a waste. God messed up when he thought of me because so far i feel like I've just been taking up space on this earth with nothing to offer. I'm into a lot of the wrong things and i don't even know if there's hope for me especially since i think i might be exposed to corona.
 

Amittai

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I'm saying the Lord's prayer for you. Accept that though you insist prayers will not avail, God's decision in your favour will carry the day.

This is NOT about the emotions that come from our history. Also, it is a kind of NORMAL to have emotions all over the place.

Also, please realise there are different nuances between becoming Christian, entering the Kingdom of God, being saved, etc.

Stick with the people that can demonstrate how to mature in character and fruitfulness of gifts, especially by interceding for each other.

If you're inarticulate just say an Our Father for anyone - you don't even need to know who!

In the strange "current" parlance "asexual", well if your sense of chastity leads you to a sort of informal celibacy, what's so outlandish about that, I think I am similar, so are loads of people that you don't hear from (in fact I would only want a wife that wanted a "Josephite" marriage). (I think a great many women would only want a "Josephite" marriage but their voice doesn't "fit" in the "sex craze".)

Give time time. Think of good things that are already there. Maybe a roof, dinner. A screen to type to us here! Your memorisation of the Lord's Prayer.

(Sorry about all that - I know it's supposed to be a prayer thread.)
 
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tturt

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Hope you receive these Scripture in the spirit they are posted for you.

He formed us:
-“For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb” Psa 139:13
-“Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers?” Mal 2;10

Yahweh determines the time and place of our births:
-“And he made from one man every race of men to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted epochs and the fixed boundaries of the places where they would live;” (Acts 17:26)

He gives us life each day:
-“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psa 118:24)
-“The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.” Job 33:4
"I will put ligaments on you, place muscles on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you, and you will live. Then you will know that I am Yahweh." Eze 37:6

He has a plan for each one:
-“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jer 29:11
-“who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time eternal,” II Tim 1:9
-“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” Psa 32
 
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Tolworth John

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first accepted Jesus it was out of fear and not love[/QUOTE
So what about why you first accepted Jesus.
What is important is how you view Jesus now?

]quoteI don't feel that i am a good person. I also get skeptical of Jesus because I was told it's the white mans God and that Jesus does not love me basically if im black. I'n
None of us are 'good' people. The bible says very very clearly that All, that is everyone, has sinned, is a sinner and deserves nothing but Gods judgement.
We are saved because of Jesus's love for us, if we accept his forgiveness.

Please note Jesus was a Jew, he lived in Israel in the Mediterranean, so he was not a 'white man'
One area where Christianity is growing is in Africa.
God created all men, black, brown, yellow, and white.
All are equal in his sight.
Quote I ]feel like I'm pathetic. I'm at the point where i wish i had never been born[/QUOTE]
If this is how you feel please, please talk to someone.
We all have times of feeling 'down' but to wish one had never been born indicates something far more serious so please talk to your doctor or a councillor.
 
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Light_Conquers

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We are all sinners. but if you believe in Christ you ll not perish but have eternal life.
We all have to change inside with the power of holy spirit. If we let holy spirit to work inside of us he' ll change us , We'll born again through holy spirit and it ll be greatest joy for us. God always cares about us , just be honest and believe in him. God please give us power to be in you as hard as rock. Give us sight to live in a righteous way and give us path to return to "home" after physical death.
 
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Al Touthentop

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At this point I don't know what to do. I don't even know if i lost my salvation and that's if i was ever even saved in the first place.

What do you believe is the way that one becomes saved?

From what you've written here, you are really hard on yourself. God loves all people. He hates partiality. He created all people of all colors and loves them all equally. That includes you.
 
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LoricaLady

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Well, it is racist to say that Messiah is "a white man's God." People who say that are not tryng to help you. Racists dont think clearly. Anyway Messiah was probably tan as He came from the area of the world where tan is usual. Don't base your hope of Heaven on someone's skin color, though! How silly that would be. In the Bible there is only one race and DNA and common sense bear that out: the human race.

If you came to the Lord out of fear, that is nothing to feel distraught about. "Fear of YHWH" aka God "is the beginning of wisdom." He WANTS you to fear Him, but also love Him, kind of like the way a child would fear an earthly father enough to avoid doing bad things and being grounded, while still loving the father.

If you are very healthy I would recommend a 24 hour water only fast once a week, with prayer. That can work wonders for your spiritual development. If you are not very healthy, well fasting can be bad for your adrenals.

Honestly I don't know if you are saved or not. But I pray you will be if not and that you will keep walking with the Lord for all your life.
 
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