How should Christians educate the youth on sexual issues?

The_wanderer 40

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First of all, a Christian should know and follow the biblical teachings on sexuality. And then they should teach them to the children. Do not act like it is a taboo subject or that abstinence is impossible to achieve. Many people, and especially Christians, throw in the towel on this subject. It's one thing to not want schools and others to teach your children. I agree with that. However, not teaching your children at all is a mistake. Ignorance of sex and Biblical sexuality is a huge handicap for any kid.
 
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JIMINZ

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A lot of people think Christians are either just plain wrong or worse, AWOL, on sexual education. How should families and churches deal with this issue? Actually, I'm sure there are many different ways to respond. What say you?

It is not the responsibility of the Churches to educate children of sexual matters.
There are too many issues at play with each individual child to even attempt to tackle it would be disastrous.

If a Parent cannot Openly, Freely and Honestly speak to their own children, then there is more of a problem than sex education.
 
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Zoii

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A lot of people think Christians are either just plain wrong or worse, AWOL, on sexual education. How should families and churches deal with this issue? Actually, I'm sure there are many different ways to respond. What say you?
What frustrated me at school ( I went to a christian school for two years) was a focus on steering away from topics concerning sex that we as teens wanted more information on.

I strongly advocate involving experts including a lawyer, for topics such as:
Sexting and the law
Sexual harassment and assault and what to do if you are a victim
Sexually transmitted diseases
Sexual protection
Masturbation
What is consent
Homosexuality
Gender dysphoria
inappropriate contentography - the impact on your mind and the impact for victims of the industry

Unfortunately my christian school treated such topics with horror - so what were we supposed to think - instead we discussed amongst ourselves in hushed tones.
 
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MyLifeForChrist

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Many people, and especially Christians, throw in the towel on this subject.

...or they use it to tear apart longstanding church membership relations while rebuilding those same churches (almost always) around much more 'compassionate' doctrine.
 
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Skittles

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We assumed it was our responsibility as parents. Based on an approach we learned about from Dr Dobson once signs of puberty started to show up we would have a fun 1:1 weekend between the same gendered parent (eg dad went with sons and mother went with daughters) and went through topics like physical changes, bullying, depression, basic health, inappropriate contentography and sexuality.

For the sexuality part we explained the biology of it and then why God created sex (babies and bonding between a married man and woman). From there we’d explain what certain acts were (masturbation, contraception, premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality etc) and why they were counter to one or both of God’s design on sexuality (babies or bonding). We’d also explain how much of the world they lived in didn’t think about the topic the same way and that it would sometimes be lonely to stand up for what was right - but that following Christ could sometimes be lonely. Which is why prayer and worship and deepening faith through Bible Study and the sacraments was key because God’s Grace was key/helpful/necessary. They have all had experience praying outside abortion clinics so we could relate it somewhat to the people driving by honking and giving rude hand gestures.

That’s obviously a lot to cover which is why it was a 1:1 weekend where we’d also be in a cool hotel and play put put, bowl, go to the movies, etc based on whatever the individual kid was in to. We’d space out the talks in between fun events so you could cover the topics and not make it too overwhelming (car drive time was usedtoo). Depending on the kid it created a platform for other discussions and also something we came back to in their teen years so they knew our expectations of them but also allowed for the fact that they were going to make their own decisions. But we wanted them to be grounded in the “why” as an anchor.

Hope that term paper helped.
 
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Sleepy089

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When we talk of sex education we should not be talkin about sexual orientation, it's too much of a hot topic can causes too many problems. I fully understand the stands Christianity has on homosexuality but the fact is Christians have done too much damage in that area. What they should be teaching is condoms and birth control. As much as I would like to say that all you have to do is teach kids the Bible and God's rules about sex, it doesn't work teenagers have sex young adults have sex they might tell their Church they're not doing it but they are. I grew up in a Christian household, but when I was 13 my mom had a talk with me and my dad got me some condoms he showed me how to put them on using a cucumber LOL and he explained the facts about it he told me if you use a condom you got about a 98% chance of not getting a woman pregnant and not getting an STD. I know my mom talked to my sisters she told them about birth control she made sure they had access to it she even gave them condoms just in case they decided to have sex to make sure their boyfriends used the condom. You can preach to your kids till your blue in the face,the fact of the matter is you cannot control your children's actions once they hit teenage years there is absolutely no way to watch your child 24/7 at least not and have them turn out to be a healthy well-adjusted adult. My mom and dad told their kids about sex they told them all the facts about protection they told them that at the end of the day the only 100% guarantee safe sex is the way to your married. one of the churches I went to as a kid the pastor treated sex like it was something evil and shouldn't be talked about. I found out some years ago that his son like to sleep around and he didn't use a condom and he got HIV and he's dead now. his son is dead because he didn't bother to teach his son proper sex education. Sex education is not telling your kids that having sex out of marriage is a bad thing. you tell your kids about birth control you tell your kids about condoms you tell them that the only real safe sex is waiting to marriage but if you're going to have sex use common sense and use protection. Take having kids out of the equation there is still HIV and dozens of other horrible STDs. Not teaching your children proper sex education is a sin in my opinion
 
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Skittles

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Sex isn’t evil at all - it’s a beautiful creation of God. To separate the physical act from the spiritual dimension is to reduce humans to animals. But ignoring why God created sex and teaching them pure mechanics strikes me as a failure that doesn’t adequately cover the topic. The message the world has been pumping for the last 50 years has given us MORE STDs, MORE abortions, #metoo, rampant inappropriate contentography, sex trafficking,Ashley Madison, sex robots, and people who are lost and confused and hurt.
 
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Sleepy089

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Sex isn’t evil at all - it’s a beautiful creation of God. To separate the physical act from the spiritual dimension is to reduce humans to animals. But ignoring why God created sex and teaching them pure mechanics strikes me as a failure that doesn’t adequately cover the topic. The message the world has been pumping for the last 50 years has given us MORE STDs, MORE abortions, #metoo, rampant inappropriate contentography, sex trafficking,Ashley Madison, sex robots, and people who are lost and confused and hurt.
You know it's nice to think all that it would be beautiful if that's how the world worked but it's not teenagers are going to have sex young adults are going to have sex I don't care what they tell you in church or at home to their parents they're having sex. You teach them that sex should be for marriage it should be with someone you love but you also teach them to protect themselves. It's like going swimming you can go in the water and not drown and die but if you don't know how to swim and you end up in deep water you're going to drown and die. Same with sex you can have sex and not get someone pregnant or get an STD and die. but if you repeatedly do it without any protection or knowledge of protection eventually you will get someone pregnant at best and it worse get an STD and die. Here's one for you my old pastor son who died of HIV here's a question how many women did he have sex with without protection while he had HIV. People need to quit pretending that the world is a fairy tale where everybody he's nice and kind and listens to everything God says in the Bible because it's not it would be nice if it was but until God comes back it's not
 
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Skittles

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You know it's nice to think all that it would be beautiful if that's how the world worked but it's not teenagers are going to have sex young adults are going to have sex I don't care what they tell you in church or at home to their parents they're having sex. You teach them that sex should be for marriage it should be with someone you love but you also teach them to protect themselves. It's like going swimming you can go in the water and not drown and die but if you don't know how to swim and you end up in deep water you're going to drown and die. Same with sex you can have sex and not get someone pregnant or get an STD and die. but if you repeatedly do it without any protection or knowledge of protection eventually you will get someone pregnant at best and it worse get an STD and die. Here's one for you my old pastor son who died of HIV here's a question how many women did he have sex with without protection while he had HIV. People need to quit pretending that the world is a fairy tale where everybody he's nice and kind and listens to everything God says in the Bible because it's not it would be nice if it was but until God comes back it's not
Christ calls us to a more noble standard. Capitulating because the world does not expect that standard seems defeatist to me. I know the world is what it is - that doesn’t mean we don’t appeal to the more noble nature of people whether they are teens or not. You don’t just suddenly pick up virtues like chastity and self control as an adult without building them as a child and teen.
 
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JIMINZ

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Christ calls us to a more noble standard. Capitulating because the world does not expect that standard seems defeatist to me. I know the world is what it is - that doesn’t mean we don’t appeal to the more noble nature of people whether they are teens or not. You don’t just suddenly pick up virtues like chastity and self control as an adult without building them as a child and teen.

Just to put things into a perspective.
When I was in that position in the 1950s we didn't even have that kind of a problem, the whole of Society was more Religious (for lack of a better word) I'm not saying everyone was Christian but the Christian Values were more dominant in Society at the time than they are today.

Factors contributing to the overall change in Society would be things like the
Feminist Movement, The Equal Rights Amendment, Drug use, Computers, Music, Movies, all of these types of things affected the Christian values which had been in place since our inception as a Country.

In other words the Secular Society, has affected the Christian Church, more than the Church affecting the Society.

The pace of life was sooooo much slower then, where today everyone is Multitasking and still running behind.

We as Christian people can and should slow our lives down and get out of the fast lane as much as we can.
 
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Sleepy089

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Christ calls us to a more noble standard. Capitulating because the world does not expect that standard seems defeatist to me. I know the world is what it is - that doesn’t mean we don’t appeal to the more noble nature of people whether they are teens or not. You don’t just suddenly pick up virtues like chastity and self control as an adult without building them as a child and teen.
Okay this is going to be my last comment on your view. There are children who are raised perfectly and they turned out to be psychopaths rapists murderers. There's children who are raised in the most horrendous situations and they turn out good and honest. Check out this book it's about a man named Dave peltzer it's called a boy named it. The point is no matter how good and well you raise your child they can go either way. My mom and dad first made sure I knew what sex was,they told me that I should wait till I'm married and in love, but they also taught me about birth control, as I said earlier my dad bought some condoms and showed me how to use one using a cucumber. He told me he didn't want me having sex till I'm was married but if I was going to or I might be in a situation where I might he wanted me to have the knowledge to not get myself in trouble. Raising your child in the church is a good thing I was raised in the church. But my first time was when I was 16...I wasn't thinking about God I wasn't thinking about church or what my parents taught me. I was thinking about the condoms and I used them. During the teenage years especially human beings hormones are on overdrive, it's why teenagers make so many mistakes they do a lot of stuff without thinking about the results. I'm not saying you shouldn't teach your children the Bible stance on sex in marriage cuz my mom taught me that as well, but you also have to accept the fact that your child might have sex, that is not something you can control unless you plan on being around your child 24/7 literally, I'm not even sure that's possible. So you give your child the the biblical facts,and you make sure they know what the pill is and what condoms are and how to use them...it very much is about saving lives, I lost a friend to HIV, if his religious, self righteous, condescending joke of a father had spent a little more time teaching his kids the facts of Life his son might still be alive.
 
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loveofourlord

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First of all, a Christian should know and follow the biblical teachings on sexuality. And then they should teach them to the children. Do not act like it is a taboo subject or that abstinence is impossible to achieve. Many people, and especially Christians, throw in the towel on this subject. It's one thing to not want schools and others to teach your children. I agree with that. However, not teaching your children at all is a mistake. Ignorance of sex and Biblical sexuality is a huge handicap for any kid.

the problem isn't abstinence, it's when christians rather stick their heads in the sand and pretend that teaching abstinence only is the only way to keep everyone safe. they do that and you end up with the worse states for teen pregnancy and std's. If the parents actuially did their jobs the schools wouldn't have too.
 
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loveofourlord

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Christ calls us to a more noble standard. Capitulating because the world does not expect that standard seems defeatist to me. I know the world is what it is - that doesn’t mean we don’t appeal to the more noble nature of people whether they are teens or not. You don’t just suddenly pick up virtues like chastity and self control as an adult without building them as a child and teen.

this is dangerous thinking, instead of preparing kids you shelter them and pretend like, "Well it's wrong to do X so we will never teach them about it." kids will learn, do you want them learning from you and the school, or when they are horny and can't control their hormones. Reality says that ignoring sex education does harm, it kills kids and ruins lives.

it's funny yet again how those against abortion are also those fighting tooth and nail against preventing it.
 
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loveofourlord

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Just to put things into a perspective.
When I was in that position in the 1950s we didn't even have that kind of a problem, the whole of Society was more Religious (for lack of a better word) I'm not saying everyone was Christian but the Christian Values were more dominant in Society at the time than they are today.

Factors contributing to the overall change in Society would be things like the
Feminist Movement, The Equal Rights Amendment, Drug use, Computers, Music, Movies, all of these types of things affected the Christian values which had been in place since our inception as a Country.

In other words the Secular Society, has affected the Christian Church, more than the Church affecting the Society.

The pace of life was sooooo much slower then, where today everyone is Multitasking and still running behind.

We as Christian people can and should slow our lives down and get out of the fast lane as much as we can.

yes there were those problems, they just pretended they didn't exist, when a girl got pregnant, she went to go live with her grandparents for a few months and such, no one talked about it and pretended it didn't exist.
 
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JIMINZ

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yes there were those problems, they just pretended they didn't exist, when a girl got pregnant, she went to go live with her grandparents for a few months and such, no one talked about it and pretended it didn't exist.

Not really, (Promiscuity) was not an issue the way it is now.

That type of thing did happen, I'm not saying it didn't, but that situation was not the NORM, people in general had a higher standard back then than they do now which changed in the 1960s because of all the influences I listed plus many more I didn't.

Our whole lifestyles as a Society have become casual, and lax which influences every aspect of life today, where our Christian Beliefs have been bombarded with the worlds thinking 24/7.
 
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Sketcher

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the problem isn't abstinence, it's when christians rather stick their heads in the sand and pretend that teaching abstinence only is the only way to keep everyone safe. they do that and you end up with the worse states for teen pregnancy and std's. If the parents actuially did their jobs the schools wouldn't have too.
I had "comprehensive" sex ed before the abstinence curriculum was pushed. It's not bad to learn about birth control and how to use it, but abstinence wasn't mentioned much during sex ed. Truly comprehensive sex ed will not only cover birth control and how to use it, but also emphasize why abstinence is a better choice, short and long-term. We didn't get the latter at school.
 
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Skittles

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this is dangerous thinking, instead of preparing kids you shelter them and pretend like, "Well it's wrong to do X so we will never teach them about it." kids will learn, do you want them learning from you and the school, or when they are horny and can't control their hormones. Reality says that ignoring sex education does harm, it kills kids and ruins lives.

it's funny yet again how those against abortion are also those fighting tooth and nail against preventing it.

I guess we have a different definition of the word “sheltering”. In my discussions with my kids they understand fully the biology and anatomy of sex, what contraception is, what hetero/homo/bisexuality is, what transgenderism is, what inappropriate contentography is, what incest is, what masturbation is etc. We discuss those things when they are ready to learn about them - but they do learn what they are. If we don’t give them awareness of those things we are failing as parents.

They also learn why God created sex and the negative consequences that come out of ignoring why God created sex since that is also part of NOT sheltering a teen. As I said in my original post - they are left to make their own decisions but understand the morality involved with sexuality. Because if we didn’t teach them those things we’d also be failing as parents.

In a way it parallels talks we have about drinking and drugs. We have pretty open conversations about different types of drugs (including tobacco and alcohol) an potential consequences. We talk about peer pressure and how hard that can be. And we talk about what we expect of them - but acknowledge that they will make their own choices ultimately. But I confess I don’t buy them a bong so maybe I am sheltering them?
 
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