I'm not entirely sure how I ended up on THIS page
but got caught up in your debate and thought I'd add my input - purely and only to throw a different perspective into this and perhaps it might make you guys think even more. I have no intention whatsoever of changing anyone's opinion. And it's likely I'll never go back into this website once I exit out. But..... here's this:
So here's my background. I was born into a Christian family and was brought up attending Church and reading the Bible. As some have mentioned above, I was brought up that homosexuality is evil, unnatural, and in fact repulsive. I believe that in a lot of Christian families, the children are sort of just dragged along. That was NOT the case with me. I truly did - on my own decision and because of my own drive - read my Bible, study God's Word, pray to God, and try to follow Him as best I could.
At the same time, I am a gay man. I have known that I was gay ever since puberty came along and I was acting in ways that favored men instead of women. I did not actually "accept" to myself that I was gay until I was 15 however. And at that time, I was still a Christian and I viewed homosexuality as something that was very wrong. Whenever I did something that was "homosexual" I would pray to God to forgive me. I though of homosexuality as a very evil temptation that I needed to overcome - despite the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I never could truly beat it. I also knew, however, that I had absolutely 0 sexual attraction towards women. So because of that, my thought process was this: I would never, ever have a wife because I could never be sexually attracted to her; and that would be unfair to me to have to try to "pretend" I was enjoying sex when I wasn't...and that would be unfair to her because she should be valued and appreciated for who she was, rather than being stuck with a husband who didn't quite seem to find her sexually attractive; and therefore I would be single and alone for my entire life. My thought was that I may never be able to
reverse my sexual attraction (I tried that when I was younger), but at least I would not
act on my sexual attraction. I would ignore this "temptation" that I had as best I could.... and when I failed, I would ask for God's forgiveness, stand back up, and try again.
I lived like this for several years. I was always ashamed of myself. Every time I thought another man in the supermarket was attractive, I would beg God to forgive me for feeling this way. I listened to the church and my family speak about how disgusting homosexuals were and how they would be burning in hell because of their unnatural habits.
Well, after a few years of this...... I started to grow quite wary. I had been trying to trust God my entire life, but I rarely felt any happiness or warmth from it. I constantly felt like I was chained down to something. I was told that God is good and that he loves and embraces all, and yet at the same time people will be sent to burn for an eternity. For years I thought..... if this were my decision, I don't see why homosexuality would be so terrible! But it was not my decision. It was God's world. And he was the Creator. And we were here to serve Him. And no matter what my opinion was, it was not my place to make those decisions. I needed to trust and serve God.
So again I started to grow quite wary of this. I started to become angry that a God who claims to be just and good would do these sorts of things to people. I wanted to have a significant other, just like you straight people. I wasn't going to abuse people, or partake in some kind of devilish rituals or torture or inappropriate behavior with animals. I just wanted to have a companion who I could love and treat with respect and do things for, even just take a drive around town. And yes, I did want to explore my sexual interests with someone that I found sexually attractive as well.......just as any other straight person desires to do with the opposite sex.
That led me to question God. And that made me realize that my entire life I have merely accepted Christianity because that was how I was brought up. There are countless religions in the world, some with similar beliefs and some with dramatically different beliefs. They all claim to be right. But which one is right? Only one can be right....and that means everybody else just might be headed to some version of some hell. That made me realize I cannot just accept this belief because I am told to..... I need to do my own research and exploration, and make this decision for myself.
And let me tell you this..... I am nowhere near the end of that journey. To be honest, I don't believe I will ever finally reach the end. But at this point in my journey, this is what I have come to decide. If this makes anyone stumble in their faith, then I do apologize. It is not my intention to disturb your belief system and if you are satisfied with what you hold, then stay with it. But this is what I have determined.
Just to reiterate the significance of homosexuality and how it is affecting the Church, let me restate that it was almost entirely because of the lack of acceptance in that one category that I began to question Christianity. Had it not been because of that one thing, I can just about guarantee that I never would have started thinking this much about it all. I would have simply continued my life trusting in God and reading His Word.
The Bible claims that the sinful people are going to be cast into hell where they will gnash their teeth in anguish as they spend an ETERNITY in flames. Think about that for a moment..... I'm serious, THINK about that. Take an average man. Let's say he is the kindest person in the world. He cares for others, he gives to the poor, he never judges a soul. But there's one defect.... he was born attracted to a human being that happens to be male instead of a human being that happens to be female. That's it. He doesn't partake in disgusting acts of torture and violence. Just as a man might love and care for a woman, in exactly the same way he loves and cares for another man. Because of this, according to Christianity, this man will spend an ETERNITY screaming in a burning oven of fire. Not 6 months for a little spanking, not 10 years, not 80 years to perhaps make up for his "wasted" life..... no an ETERNITY. Now replace homosexuality with any other sin. Some might be worse than others. But whatever it is that you are thinking, do YOU believe that an ETERNITY is a just punishment?
I don't. And even if Christianity were proved to be real, that is not the type of God that I would want to support..... as terrible as that sounds. That is a God that forced life into this Earth when we never asked for it, then threatened mankind to follow His rules or else face an eternity in despair. Even if Christianity were to be real, how can I want to offer my support or praise to such a God?
I am still trying to discover truth.... but here are a couple thoughts I have had.
I suppose you might consider me an atheist at this time. I do not feel as though the Christian God is real. I do believe there is some form of Higher Being up there as I saw an angel when I was in a car crash when I was a child, but I am leaning toward the side that this Higher Being is not the one displayed in the Bible.
If you take a moment to think from this perspective next: The religion of the Bible creates the perfect hoax. Whether this hoax was created long ago for social engineering - for example, to inspire people to actually be "good" and not kill others or steal or rape. Or perhaps to force people to continue accepting beliefs that certain things such as homosexuality are wrong.
Whatever its reasoning, think about it. The Bible tells you that you must accept the religion off of FAITH. There is no evidence to prove it. We say to merely look at the world around you and see the order in it to prove that God exists? Yes there is indeed order, but that doesn't prove God exists.... and it doesn't prove that it is the Christian God.
The Bible then says that if anyone does NOT believe in God or commits these "sins" then they will spend an ETERNITY burning. Well when that is what you are risking by doubting its accuracy, who on earth would doubt its accuracy? Why would you question something when you are being told that you are risking burning in hell forever? Why would you commit a certain sin when the punishment for that sin is eternal damnation? And why would you dare to question rather that sin really is an actual sin if such a punishment is in order?
Next, the Bible says that you are never alone, that God is there even if you can't see Him. Well, forgive my bluntness, but where is He? If He wants to sit there and punish people for not believing in Him, why wouldn't He pop in and say hello from time to time? Why should He EXPECT us to merely believe in Him when He gives us nothing to go off of? And why should we be punished for questioning something that is invisible? Doesn't that show that we have a brain on our heads and that we do not just accept what is told to us? Why does it matter so much for us to believe in Him on faith ALONE? If He loves this world so much, as the Bible claims, all He must do is pop on in and show His presence and the world will be saved. But instead, He chooses to be invisible. Perhaps it is because He
is invisible. Perhaps it is because He is not real and Christianity was just created to spook the world into having some sense of order.
There's also another element that I would like to address. It has no real significance, but it is merely an observation that I would like to point out. Now, in the way Christians phrase it, everyone is a sinner. Every one has the ability to cast judgement and be mean. And 100% I believe that anyone and everyone can be mean and judgmental .......but I would like to say that those who I have seen the most judgement and hatred from are Christians. Not the people who are labeled as "dirty", "sinners", "unnatural", "Sodom and Gomorrah"... Amongst my homosexual friends, I do not see them judging others nearly as much as my Christian friends. Obviously not always the case, but more often than not that seems to be the case....
I have rambled way too much...... but you might wonder what my life has felt like since I "strayed" away from God. As much as I know you all don't want to hear this, I do feel much more free. I do not feel like I have chains around my neck constantly tugging me down and demanding that I beg forgiveness for something that doesn't feel wrong in my eyes. And yes, I have completely abandoned the rules that I used to live by. I do have a homosexual lifestyle and yes I do have sex with men. I don't follow the "waiting for marriage" idea anymore; I have decided that I view it more as just a desire that I have at that moment and it doesn't need to carry so much weight to it (although yes, always have safe sex; know who your partners are; protect yourself from STD's; if a gay man is reading this, I strongly suggest getting yourself on PrEP to protect yourself from getting HIV as an extra precaution; if you are a straight couple reading this, obviously you have the potential to get pregnant so take the necessary precautions, etc).
Again, as much as you hate to hear this, I do feel much more free. I am still trying to get over some of the feelings of shame and self-hatred that I lived with for so long.... but I think much less about it nowadays and primarily just relax and embrace who I am. As long as I act respectfully towards others and am not hurting anyone, I believe I am doing okay.
I still have not decided what the real truth is. I don't know if Christianity is real. So much seems to point to the fact that it is not..... but I do think that some version of a Higher Being is out there.
Perhaps it is a version of Christianity. I do for sure question how accurate the Bible is, as I do believe a significant amount has been changed and/or added in over the centuries. Perhaps the phrases on homosexuality were never even in there to begin with and someone who hated the idea of same sex relationships decided to throw them in along the way.
But..... if you even read this far, which I doubt you did because I did some SERIOUS rambling today, there's a slightly different perspective.
Have a good week!
