Feeling like Esau

Alynn · Mar 22, 2020

Is there anyone who feels like Esau? or like repentance is hard to obtain?

I believe something has happened and I did not want to pay closer attention to the Word of the bible and I feel like i can not repent. My heart has been hardened and I feel so empty. Now seeing the importance of obeying Christ. I feel like I can return to him. God is merciful, gracious, and forgiving but he is also just. I've backslide so many times and I believe this last time I backslide was the last straw. Now all that waits is the fearful expectation of Judgement.

I'm just wanting to know if anyone else feels like this?

SeventyOne · Mar 22, 2020

Maybe you could attempt to grasp the perfection required by God, the one where perfection in thought, word, and deed is required from birth to grave and if you violate even the smallest part of the Law, you are guilty of breaking all of it, each and every time. Even at the times when we 'feel' saved by our own actions, we are just fooling ourselves.

Recall the first Passover. The angel passed over the homes with the blood on the doorposts. It didn't matter the nature or actions of the people inside. They believed God and trusted in that blood alone to save them. Jesus is our Passover Lamb, and we trust in that blood alone to save us. You want His mercy? That's where it is.

boxman144 · Mar 22, 2020

I also feel like this, ma'am. But realize this. God is never going to turn his back on you, only at the day of Judgement if you've been living in sin(Matthew 7:21-23). Note that it says "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven." As long as you have breath in your lungs, you can repent and totally turn from sin. When you repent of your sins, it's not a "Okay, I've repented, I guess I can still sin as long as I repent after I do it."

Do not adopt this mindset. This is what will put your salvation at risk. Instead, repent, if you can get baptized, do it. Turn from ALL SIN. You will be filled with the Holy Spirit and will be guided on the narrow path. This will not be easy. You will lose many friends during this and be attacked by demons almost constantly. But this will be expected. Look at John 16:33. Leave the church system, most of them will not guide you in the spirit. Only Jesus can do that.

I'll keep you in my prayers,

boxman144 :amen:

Tigger45 · Mar 22, 2020

It starts with faith. Everything flows from there. The obedience ‘of’ faith ‘is’ repentance.

Inagony · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
Is there anyone who feels like Esau? or like repentance is hard to obtain?

I believe something has happened and I did not want to pay closer attention to the Word of the bible and I feel like i can not repent. My heart has been hardened and I feel so empty. Now seeing the importance of obeying Christ. I feel like I can return to him. God is merciful, gracious, and forgiving but he is also just. I've backslide so many times and I believe this last time I backslide was the last straw. Now all that waits is the fearful expectation of Judgement.

I'm just wanting to know if anyone else feels like this?

I feel the same

Billy UK · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
Is there anyone who feels like Esau? or like repentance is hard to obtain?

I believe something has happened and I did not want to pay closer attention to the Word of the bible and I feel like i can not repent. My heart has been hardened and I feel so empty. Now seeing the importance of obeying Christ. I feel like I can return to him. God is merciful, gracious, and forgiving but he is also just. I've backslide so many times and I believe this last time I backslide was the last straw. Now all that waits is the fearful expectation of Judgement.

I'm just wanting to know if anyone else feels like this?

I have at times and still do feel like Esau due to struggling with feelings of rejection, guilt, shame, condemnation regret because of all my bad choices. I to have backslidden many times and struggle with the flesh which apparently is what Esau is meant to represent. Things especially get worse when I backslide which shows that I come under chastisement which shows im a son as unbelievers dont feel conviction for feeding their flesh as believers do and i know that as I used to be an unbeliever. The fact that we have conviction over sin shows that the Holy Spirit is at work drawing in us to Jesus by convicting us of sin and calling us to repent and follow Jesus and his words. The only place to begin with that is through faith in the blood of Jesus in order to have our conscience cleansed from the works of sin which we did in our past.

Hebrews 9:14 (KJV)
14 How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

The problem is that sin does harden the heart which causes our flesh to become more empowered and affect our will with the sin nature. Thats why it says if we sow to the flesh we will reap corruption which is why in the present we must make a decision to resist our flesh and start feeding our spirits with the things of God. This is the very battle im in myself while satan and minions are at work trying to make me give by telling me ive sinned to much which is lie as Gods mercy is new everyday and while im alive theirs hope.

Romans 6:18-23 (AMP)
18 And having been set free from sin, you have become the slaves of righteousness [of conformity to God’s will and purpose]. 19 I am speaking in [familiar] human terms because of your natural limitations [your spiritual immaturity]. For just as you presented your bodily members as slaves to impurity and to [moral] lawlessness, leading to further lawlessness, so now offer your members [your abilities, your talents] as slaves to righteousness, leading to sanctification [that is, being set apart for God’s purpose].

20 When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness [you had no desire to conform to God’s will]. 21 So what benefit did you get at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? [None!] For the outcome of those things is death! 22 But now since you have been set free from sin and have become [willing] slaves to God, you have your benefit, resulting in sanctification [being made holy and set apart for God’s purpose], and the outcome [of this] is eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God [that is, His remarkable, overwhelming gift of grace to believers] is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galatians 5:5 (KJV)
5 For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.

Alynn · Mar 22, 2020

SeventyOne said:
Maybe you could attempt to grasp the perfection required by God, the one where perfection in thought, word, and deed is required from birth to grave and if you violate even the smallest part of the Law, you are guilty of breaking all of it, each and every time. Even at the times when we 'feel' saved by our own actions, we are just fooling ourselves.

Recall the first Passover. The angel passed over the homes with the blood on the doorposts. It didn't matter the nature or actions of the people inside. They believed God and trusted in that blood alone to save them. Jesus is our Passover Lamb, and we trust in that blood alone to save us. You want His mercy? That's where it is.

True and true. But I have disobeyed and not kept the commandments of Jesus. He is my Savior but not my Lord. looking back at my life I have never fully surrendered. And with at these prophetic dates coming to pass i feel as if it is too late to let Holy Spirit lead me to the will of God.

boxman144 · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
True and true. But I have disobeyed and not kept the commandments of Jesus. He is my Savior but not my Lord. looking back at my life I have never fully surrendered. And with at these prophetic dates coming to pass i feel as if it is too late to let Holy Spirit lead me to the will of God.

Are you still breathing? Can you still think? Can you still talk? If your answer to all of these questions is yes, then it is never too late to repent and follow Jesus Christ to God. He is the narrow gate. If you're feeling sad still, I have a song for you.

Maria Billingsley · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
Is there anyone who feels like Esau? or like repentance is hard to obtain?

I believe something has happened and I did not want to pay closer attention to the Word of the bible and I feel like i can not repent. My heart has been hardened and I feel so empty. Now seeing the importance of obeying Christ. I feel like I can return to him. God is merciful, gracious, and forgiving but he is also just. I've backslide so many times and I believe this last time I backslide was the last straw. Now all that waits is the fearful expectation of Judgement.

I'm just wanting to know if anyone else feels like this?

Jesus Christ of Nazareth died for our sins. He gave us His Holy Spirit so that we can walk closer to Him. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He is with us as we are sanctified daily. Some "quench" the work of the Holy Spirit in their life. This is the only reason the burden of sin continually darkens our life. If you indeed have the Holy Spirit in you, then let Him work in your life. You can not do it yourself. You must surrender all to Him, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You will begin to see the darkness fall away. You must believe in this truth. I will pray for you.
Blessings.

SeventyOne · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
True and true. But I have disobeyed and not kept the commandments of Jesus. He is my Savior but not my Lord. looking back at my life I have never fully surrendered. And with at these prophetic dates coming to pass i feel as if it is too late to let Holy Spirit lead me to the will of God.

I'll put these two verses here and you consider how they may or may not relate to you directly.

Romans 8:14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
Galatians 5:18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

If you pose a fill in the blank question to yourself, such as 'I know I am a born again child of God because ________', and your answer is anything other than trusting in the finished work of Christ alone, redeemed by His shed blood alone, then you have good reason to be concerned. The good news is that we are still within a time of mercy and can boldly approach the throne of grace and freely obtain that mercy.

Gregory Thompson · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
Is there anyone who feels like Esau? or like repentance is hard to obtain?

I believe something has happened and I did not want to pay closer attention to the Word of the bible and I feel like i can not repent. My heart has been hardened and I feel so empty. Now seeing the importance of obeying Christ. I feel like I can return to him. God is merciful, gracious, and forgiving but he is also just. I've backslide so many times and I believe this last time I backslide was the last straw. Now all that waits is the fearful expectation of Judgement.

I'm just wanting to know if anyone else feels like this?

I used to feel like that, God just upped the difficulty level of my calling because he Trusted me more.

Dave G. · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
True and true. But I have disobeyed and not kept the commandments of Jesus. He is my Savior but not my Lord. looking back at my life I have never fully surrendered. And with at these prophetic dates coming to pass i feel as if it is too late to let Holy Spirit lead me to the will of God.

I have to chuckle, not at you Alynn but how your situation applies to pretty much all of us here. How many times have I not truly walked with Him and re surged, high points low point, even a time of back sliding. Confusing, stumbling or falling with back sliding but gotten back up. In my experience ( born again 41 years) I've done all those things but when I look back I can see the working of Him in my life all along. I love the song Never Once, pretty much just for that reason, because we never once walked alone. Oh it felt like it, we were sure we went too far and just as sure as I'm typing this He reels us back, ok David, ok Alynn, ok apostle Peter no less, that's far enough now lets get serious. Ya, He's right there Alynn, if you reach out you probably put your hand on His face. You just need to change direction, read scripture, read about the one who loves you more than you can possibly know, even enough to have died on the cross for you. He's drawing you back to Him, believe it. He knows your frailties and is not surprised. I'll be praying for you, your testimony is special not because it's different or way out but because it's familiar and you're fully in the open about it. I love that !!

Remember too, you're young, only 25, we all sow some wild oats back there. He's waiting for you very patiently, trust in Him,believe His promises for you, love Him back....

Alynn · Mar 22, 2020

Maria Billingsley said:
Jesus Christ of Nazareth died for our sins. He gave us His Holy Spirit so that we can walk closer to Him. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He is with us as we are sanctified daily. Some "quench" the work of the Holy Spirit in their life. This is the only reason the burden of sin continually darkens our life. If you indeed have the Holy Spirit in you, then let Him work in your life. You can not do it yourself. You must surrender all to Him, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You will begin to see the darkness fall away. You must believe in this truth. I will pray for you.
Blessings.

when we quench the Holy Spirit does he eventually leave?

Alynn · Mar 22, 2020

Michael Collum said:
I used to feel like that, God just upped the difficulty level of my calling because he Trusted me more.

How did you get out of it?

Maria Billingsley · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
when we quench the Holy Spirit does he eventually leave?

Here is a good interpretation for consideration of 1 Thessalonians 5:19.
The actual order of the Greek words is “the Spirit not quench.” The Greek language places the most important part of the sentence first. So verse 19 is emphasizing “the Spirit.” We also need to note that the root Greek word for “quench” is sbennymi which means “to extinguish,” “to put out” or “to go out.” The word was used to refer to putting out fires, sparks, or the putting out of a lamp.

Alynn · Mar 22, 2020

Dave G. said:
I have to chuckle, not at you Alynn but how your situation applies to pretty much all of us here. How many times have I not truly walked with Him and re surged, high points low point, even a time of back sliding. Confusing, stumbling or falling with back sliding but gotten back up. In my experience ( born again 41 years) I've done all those things but when I look back I can see the working of Him in my life all along. I love the song Never Once, pretty much just for that reason, because we never once walked alone. Oh it felt like it, we were sure we went too far and just as sure as I'm typing this He reels us back, ok David, ok Alynn, ok apostle Peter no less, that's far enough now lets get serious. Ya, He's right there Alynn, if you reach out you probably put your hand on His face. You just need to change direction, read scripture, read about the one who loves you more than you can possibly know, even enough to have died on the cross for you. He's drawing you back to Him, believe it. He knows your frailties and is not surprised. I'll be praying for you, your testimony is special not because it's different or way out but because it's familiar and you're fully in the open about it. I love that !!

Remember too, you're young, only 25, we all sow some wild oats back there. He's waiting for you very patiently, trust in Him,believe His promises for you, love Him back....

I just so happened to look back at my life and for the past 5 years I can't say anything about me has changed. I've been so focused on how I was badly treated and how I wanted to be vindicated that I completely missed the purpose of living for Jesus. I feel that my heart has been hardened to unforgiveness. I failed God and Jesus. And what's really getting me concerned is the state of my heart. I feel like I cant fully repent

Alynn · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
when we quench the Holy Spirit does he eventually leave?

So if this happens will we know. Because i feel dead inside. What used to move my heart does not move me anymore. I feel no more stirring in my spirit.

Dave G. · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
I just so happened to look back at my life and for the past 5 years I can't say anything about me has changed. I've been so focused on how I was badly treated and how I wanted to be vindicated that I completely missed the purpose of living for Jesus. I feel that my heart has been hardened to unforgiveness. I failed God and Jesus. And what's really getting me concerned is the state of my heart. I feel like I cant fully repent

That's beautiful actually, because you recognize it ! How's your prayer life Alynn ? Tell what you said here to the Lord and ask for help. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness".1 John 1:9

You were forgiven at the cross anyway but speaking for myself I confess daily. He will work with you and draw you closer. And he will work in your heart to where that old hurt can just be layed at the cross, hand those cares over to Jesus and move on. This is something He does inside us over time, it's not our work but His because we believe Him and trust Him to do it. We just have to be willing. This is huge that you see your faults but see, you don't want to live there ? You want to get past that. It takes walking with God. Read 1 John 1:9 again. But here is the thing, don't read it ! It's truth so believe it. Soon your anxiety will go. Believe the other truths that were told you in this thread too. Alynn, God loves new beginnings, you're turning a corner in your life right now as we communicate. We can all sense the sincerity of your concerns.

Gregory Thompson · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
How did you get out of it?

I think the passage that says He gives a means to stand up under it applies. We trust Him, we grow, and yesterday's problems are today's weeds to the tree that has grown amongst them.

Dave G. · Mar 22, 2020

Alynn said:
So if this happens will we know. Because i feel dead inside. What used to move my heart does not move me anymore. I feel no more stirring in my spirit.

Quenching the Spirit is not the grieving of the Spirit where you have no salvation. It's falling out of fellowship with the Spirit, like putting a dirty glass between you and Him. You sense that, you can't see Him so to speak. Confessing and walking with God is your Windex glass cleaner. Get a prayer life going, and a daily scripture reading, maybe sign up online for a daily devotional. Some of the ladies here can maybe help you find something in that.

Gods mercy was around in the old testament too: ? "Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy".Proverbs 28:13

In short agree with God.

Feeling like Esau

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Pray like your life depends on it!

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Change is inevitable, feel free to spare some.

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