How do I explain that Homosexuality is Wrong While Reassuring Others Of God's Love?

Rawtheran said:

Hello everyone I am in need of seasoned advice. Today in Youth Group in which I help lead we went over the topic of Homosexuality and what the Bible had to say about it as well as what the official doctrine of the Universal church had to say. Needless to say I don't feel that the other Youth Leaders and myself did a very good job of explaining homosexuality and why is it considered wrong. Some like myself were after of offending others and kinda had this mentality that well it's 2020 and it's ok in the west to be in a homosexual relationship. I tried the best I could to explain how God is loving but that homosexuality was a demonic manifestation and lie. At the end of it they still believed that love was love. Do any of you have any experience witnessing to homosexuals or how do we stand firm on the truth but present it in love?

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If you actually love someone wouldn't you always tell them the truth?

I would not go into demonic stuff, its not needed. Homosexuality is simply a perversion of sexuality and of love.

You will not convince everybody, the simple fact that some people or homosexuals will not change their mind after you are witnessing to them is normal. You do your job and then go to witness to others, who may have eyes to see and ears to hear.

For a population of young people, "demonic manifestation and lie" probably isn't going to persuade them. I expect that they'll need a "why". My best guess is to research why ancient Israel would have prohibited same-sex relationships, and tell them why that ancient law was there. Research also what St. Paul had in mind when he wrote (opinions differ here), and explain what St. Paul was prohibiting and why. Since church tradition is an important component here, explain also why your congregation values following the early centuries of church tradition.

As for love, remind them that even if they choose to depart from church tradition on this, God still made them, Christ still died to save them, and that they are precious to God and loved by God. You and other church leaders can model this love by how you behave towards gay young people who have grown up in your church or who visit your church.

Its like any other sin, people needs to adjust their thinking or rebel against God, or be cheated in their mind thinking they are going to have God and 'modern' morality both.

Rawtheran said:

Hello everyone I am in need of seasoned advice. Today in Youth Group in which I help lead we went over the topic of Homosexuality and what the Bible had to say about it as well as what the official doctrine of the Universal church had to say. Needless to say I don't feel that the other Youth Leaders and myself did a very good job of explaining homosexuality and why is it considered wrong. Some like myself were after of offending others and kinda had this mentality that well it's 2020 and it's ok in the west to be in a homosexual relationship. I tried the best I could to explain how God is loving but that homosexuality was a demonic manifestation and lie. At the end of it they still believed that love was love. Do any of you have any experience witnessing to homosexuals or how do we stand firm on the truth but present it in love?

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What if there is a gay person in the room that you don't know about? Make sure you're speaking to that person.

First, separate the orientation from the sin. The orientation is simply the vector by which people with same-sex attractions are tempted. The sin is saying "yes" to the temptation. See Matthew 4:1-4. Jesus wasn't sinning by being hungry. He would have sinned if he put his appetite before his obedience.

Second, acknowledge the work of the cross in bringing homosexuals from death to life. See 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Never quote verses 9 and 10 without 11. Acknowledge also that this doesn't automatically mean that they won't still be attracted to people of the same sex, though it is possible. Bear with them just as you would bear with a heterosexual who struggles with masturbation and inappropriate contentography - assuming you do that in a life-giving way rather than harshly.

Third, emphasize that we are created for God, not for our appetites (1 Corinthians 6:12-20, especially verse 13). He makes the rules on what people, especially Christians, should and should not do sexually. And the Christian life is a life of surrender. Whatever proclivities (homosexual lust, heterosexual lust, anger, gluttony, selfishness, mean-spiritedness, you name it) we may be born with, we must not be ruled by them, but follow Christ instead.

Fourth, make sure you're not treating this sin as special. There's a man in my men's group with strong same-sex attractions. It took him over a year to confess them. Nothing really changed after that, we're aware of his struggle and respectful of it, but he's just as much one of the guys as he ever was. We still hang out and do things and encourage each other. Now, he was clear when he came out to us that he had a conservative understanding of Biblical sexuality, and he holds to that, so we didn't have to convince him that it was wrong to indulge in homosexual lust and relationships. But he does need to know that we're in his corner and that he can be real with us. Many homosexuals that leave the church say they didn't get that when they were in the church. (Note that I have not spoken with him on how to teach this to kids.)

You might explain that although gays won't be in the first resurrection they will come up in the second, and likely free of the disorder.

I don't think gay relationships are wrong. But I'm assuming you're a conservative Christian who does. At that point what you say depends upon your theology. I would hope what you'd say is that it's wrong, but it's no different from other sins, and God saves sinners.

Christians have created a lot of damage, both to individuals and to the Christian witness, by (1) treating homosexuality as the unforgiveable sin, (2) demanding that Christians rid themselves of certain sins (with homosexuality seeming to be the only example) in order to be saved, (3) and false claims that if you have enough faith you'll be "cured" of homosexuality.

Given what we know of the beliefs of younger Christians, you might even say that quite likely some people in the room disagree with your position, but you hope that won't create a barrier between you. Of course that depends upon whether you personally are willing to accept disagreement on this topic. Lots of conservative Christians consider this the one issue where no disagreement is permitted.

hedrick said:

I don't think gay relationships are wrong. But I'm assuming you're a conservative Christian who does. At that point what you say depends upon your theology. I would hope what you'd say is that it's wrong, but it's no different from other sins, and God saves sinners.

Christians have created a lot of damage, both to individuals and to the Christian witness, by (1) treating homosexuality as the unforgiveable sin, (2) demanding that Christians rid themselves of certain sins (with homosexuality seeming to be the only example) in order to be saved, (3) and false claims that if you have enough faith you'll be "cured" of homosexuality.

Given what we know of the beliefs of younger Christians, you might even say that quite likely some people in the room disagree with your position, but you hope that won't create a barrier between you. Of course that depends upon whether you personally are willing to accept disagreement on this topic. Lots of conservative Christians consider this the one issue where no disagreement is permitted.

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Homosexuality, among other sexual aberrations, is called confusion; (literally) the perversion of sex, and of the natural order. It is therefore a special class of sin especially abhorrent to God, and to many (if not most) others as well.

A great approach would be to teach them God’s design for sex and marriage and that anything outside this design like premarital sex, adultery, homosexual relations, polyamory, polygamy is fornication. Fornication means illicit sexual relations. Teaching what God teaches on marriage is the “positive” or affirmative approach.

What is God’s design? God’s design is for one man and one woman to be in union (marriage). This is what Jesus taught.

Matthew 19: NASB

4And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created themfrom the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,5and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Rawtheran said:

Hello everyone I am in need of seasoned advice. Today in Youth Group in which I help lead we went over the topic of Homosexuality and what the Bible had to say about it as well as what the official doctrine of the Universal church had to say. Needless to say I don't feel that the other Youth Leaders and myself did a very good job of explaining homosexuality and why is it considered wrong. Some like myself were after of offending others and kinda had this mentality that well it's 2020 and it's ok in the west to be in a homosexual relationship. I tried the best I could to explain how God is loving but that homosexuality was a demonic manifestation and lie. At the end of it they still believed that love was love. Do any of you have any experience witnessing to homosexuals or how do we stand firm on the truth but present it in love?

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Rather than focus on same sex attraction, focus on fornication. There is no scriptural evidence that same sex marriage is the "will of the Father". This should shut down the controversy.
Blessings

Rawtheran said:

Hello everyone I am in need of seasoned advice. Today in Youth Group in which I help lead we went over the topic of Homosexuality and what the Bible had to say about it as well as what the official doctrine of the Universal church had to say. Needless to say I don't feel that the other Youth Leaders and myself did a very good job of explaining homosexuality and why is it considered wrong. Some like myself were after of offending others and kinda had this mentality that well it's 2020 and it's ok in the west to be in a homosexual relationship. I tried the best I could to explain how God is loving but that homosexuality was a demonic manifestation and lie. At the end of it they still believed that love was love. Do any of you have any experience witnessing to homosexuals or how do we stand firm on the truth but present it in love?

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This is about sexual acts, not whom one happens to love.

For comparison purposes, we might argue that if you love someone, you will also want them to have the good things of life. Does that mean you are entitled to take other people's goods to give to your own loved-one? No. Does abstaining from stealing mean that you are prohibited from loving? No.

Albion said:

This is about sexual acts, not whom one happens to love.

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True. You can have great love for your same gender friends without being gay. Some of my boyhood friends and I were inseparable...until we all got married.

One would think that acceptance of homosexuality is something that all Christians would agree is a line we do not cross as the Bible is very explicit about that. It seems to me, IMHO, that acceptance of homosexuality is akin to being part of a religious cult where the Word of God is twisted to accommodate one's own belief system.....not at all what the Bible expects of us.

OldWiseGuy said:

True. You can have great love for your same gender friends without being gay. Some of my boyhood friends and I were inseparable...until we all got married.

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I think homosexuality is a dysfunctional version of “philia.”

What are the different types of love mentioned in the Bible? | GotQuestions.org

Rawtheran said:

Hello everyone I am in need of seasoned advice. Today in Youth Group in which I help lead we went over the topic of Homosexuality and what the Bible had to say about it as well as what the official doctrine of the Universal church had to say. Needless to say I don't feel that the other Youth Leaders and myself did a very good job of explaining homosexuality and why is it considered wrong. Some like myself were after of offending others and kinda had this mentality that well it's 2020 and it's ok in the west to be in a homosexual relationship. I tried the best I could to explain how God is loving but that homosexuality was a demonic manifestation and lie. At the end of it they still believed that love was love. Do any of you have any experience witnessing to homosexuals or how do we stand firm on the truth but present it in love?

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Hi Rawtheran,

The Bible clearly teaches that homosexuality is sinful, either as an act or a lifestyle, because it goes against God’s original plan, design and created order. Throughout Scripture, there is not one instance of God approving or even condoning a sexual act between two people of the same gender, or blessing a marriage between two people of the same gender. The only marital union God ever established and ordained was that which exists between one man and one woman; and the only sexual act He approves of and declares as blessed is that which takes place between a husband and his wife. These truths are declared consistently throughout Scripture, from the creation account, forward.

When God created Adam, there was no suitable helper found for him until He created Eve. When He made Eve and brought her to Adam, He united that man and woman in marriage, blessed their union as husband and wife, and told them to be fruitful and multiply. The intricate and intentional design of their physical bodies alone testifies of God’s design and intention for marriage, sex and procreation.

People are not “born homosexual.” However, all people are born with a sinful nature, some having a greater vulnerability or susceptibility toward the sin of homosexuality as opposed to others who may struggle with tendencies to commit other sins such as violence, alcoholism, lying, stealing, etc. People give themselves to a homosexual lifestyle by an act of their own will, and only after hardening their heart toward God and His voice of conviction.

Perhaps the best illustration of God’s view of homosexuality can be found in His destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah (which were filled with those committing these lustful acts). Had homosexuality truly been an “alternative lifestyle” approved by God, those cities would not have been destroyed. In fact, the Bible says that if there were only ten righteous people found in those cities, God would have spared them. However, the fact that God brought sudden destruction upon those cities establishes homosexuality as an unrighteous and ungodly act and lifestyle.

The good news, however, is that the blood of Jesus was shed for all sin, including the sin of homosexuality. When a homosexual repents of their sinful lifestyle and turns their life over to Jesus to follow Him, they are forgiven and cleansed from all sin, and made a new creation in Christ.

Hope that helps provide some of the answers you were looking for.

civilwarbuff said:

One would think that acceptance of homosexuality is something that all Christians would agree is a line we do not cross as the Bible is very explicit about that. It seems to me, IMHO, that acceptance of homosexuality is akin to being part of a religious cult where the Word of God is twisted to accommodate one's own belief system.....not at all what the Bible expects of us.

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You might think that, but it isn't true. It particularly isn't true in a youth group. Among younger evangelicals, Pew finds that 45% support gay marriage. I don't know about his youth group, but ours includes kids who aren't from our church. That's part of our outreach. They are even less likely to accept the traditional view. This will vary among communities, but in the OP's youth group, a reasonable fraction will accept homosexuality as normal. I believe few people are likely to change based on arguments, in either direction.

There's nothing wrong with presenting the argument. You probably should. You might consider presenting the arguments on the other side as well, since your kids are going to run into them. But the question to consider is what you do with those who disagree. A lot of people in CF will say disagreement is unacceptable. Fine. Feel free to get half of your group to leave, or treat them as heretics. But do consider whether that's actually what you want to do.

I find it interesting that this is one of two issues that are dividing the church, yet almost no one does the obvious thing: No one seems to be willing to have people on both sides present their case. I'm in a liberal church. I'm reasonably sure we don't present the conservative case to our kids. I doubt many conservative churches present the liberal case (by someone who actually believes it).

It seems that very early in the history of the Church people decided (without, I think, actually making an explicit decision) that Christianity was about believing the right things. Anyone who disagreed was not a Christian. I don't see any evidence for this in Jesus' teachings. Paul's is mixed, but he did try to get people to coexist on a couple of major issues (eating meat sacrificed to idols and the Sabbath). Despite his strong feelings on forcing Christians to be circumcized, it doesn't appear that he actually rejected James as a non-Christian or counselled his churches to do so.

When, in the 16th Cent it became impossible for churches to persecute people who disagreed, we ended up with a proliferation of churches. While churches started disagreeing with the Catholic church on all kinds of things, no one questioned the basic assumption about the need for everyone to agree. I would have thought the Church might consider part of its role as modeling how we should handle disagreement.

I agree with some of what others have posted. This is a moral issue that ties into Christian ethic. Ultimately, a person will have to consciously make decisions for themselves in life based on their own moral compass. This has a lot to do with upbringing in home and religion and other major influences. It's the teacher's assignment to pray for the wisdom of God and Holy Spirit to convey the message that leads to repentance. We are inadequate in our own efforts but the Holy Spirit can do far more work in a person's life, if we let Him.

As a teacher of biblical principles, I would teach from a Christ-like perspective. Deal with immoral issues like Jesus did in the gospels. Divorce, murder, adultery, fornication, deceit, hatred, mental health issues and more were all addressed by Jesus.

Jesus taught the people in like manner: proclamation of God's word motivated by His love for the lost, exposure of sin brings awareness to the sinner whether they agree with it or not. Jesus used wisdom and understanding. He understood the perverseness of the world and that's why He came, to seek and save the lost, not condemn them to hell. After encountering the teachings of Jesus and the presence of God (awareness) it will be their own willful actions that determine where they spend eternity.

Ultimately, it is up to the individual to make the right choices. Jesus came to make certain that we have every tool need in life to do this.

Just point them to Jesus and what He taught about the kingdom of God and righteous living and let the wonderful precious Holy Spirit of God do the rest.

If you feel any burden for those you are teaching, I'm sure it is to pray for them. I've found this approach helpful in my ministry work. Pray for the hearers continually to receive wisdom and revelation of the Truth and let the Lord do the rest.