It seems that you are trying to divorce your religion from the Old Testament, but Christ, according to the mainstream Christianity, is the God of the Old Testament!
And, according to the New Testament, God/Christ never changes, so an Old Testament event, of God telling Abraham to sacrifice his son is something God can do. Or God can test anyone's faith by whatever means he feels necessary, including asking one to kill their child.
As far as the commandment to not take an innocent life, your understanding is incorrect, I'm sorry to say.
Numbers 31: 17 Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man intimately. 18 But all the girls who have not known man intimately, spare for yourselves.
I'm not trying to divorce the Old from the New.. but there are major differences between the two Covanents..
First, national Israel was done away with, therefore, there are no borders for God's people and we have a different manner of living (live in the world without being of the world)
Second, in Jeremiah 31:29-30 we see the differences foretold in a main difference between the Old Covanent and New, namely, that God under the New Covenant no longer holds the sins of the father's against the children as we see in Numbers 14:18 as well as Exodus and I believe Deuteronomy as well.
Whenever God speaks of love and hate He is speaking of preferential position within God's covenant. Those God "hates" isn't emotional hatred, it's those God did not place inside the Covenant.
Under the Old Covenant, those outside the covenant were kept outside, until the covenant people brought forth the Messiah. After that anyone can be brought into Covanent with God, and men are judged upon their acceptance or rejection of God's covenant through the Messiah.
As such, we also see differences.
1.) Genocide is an effective war strategy, it leaves no further generations to wage blood feuds against you.
2.) When God asked national Israel to commit genocide it was for good reason and within that specific context
3.) This will never again be asked at man's hand again, under the New Covenant - because there's no nation wholly under covenant with God, and no people God is protecting (self defense) to bring forth the Messiah.