Lonely ppl

Heavenhome

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It would seem that a sense of community has been lost, families are spread much wider apart than they used to be and although we have so many so called time saving gadgets, people have never been busier. Probably self centred too:(

And some just don't care about others.
 
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PeterJames0510

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I have had a very deep longing in my heart for so very long for a 'sister' or 'sister-friend'. I told this to my wife many years ago and it upset her because she feels she is supposed to be that person. And I half agree with her.

But I still get this ache in my heart; I almost believe I have a sister that I lost or what separated from me. Instead of dealing with my emotions, I go online and look for friendships anonymously from other females. With mixed success. I've actually met 3 very nice and lovely Christian females. But each one did the RIGHT thing which bummed me out: they said, if your wife doesn't know about this friendship, we can't continue it. They did the HONORABLE thing.

But I'm left with feeling lonely and longing. I can read the Bible, I can pray, I can hang out with people. I can't share any of these feelings with my spouse because I know it's hurtful to her. But none of that, all of that, and a mixture of it - no matter what, the pain of loneliness remains.

No one has to feel sorry for me; no one has to do anything for me. I am just an echo in a thread with this particular subject line.
 
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Heavenhome

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That is a difficult situation that you are in because your wife is right and the ladies you spoke to, did indeed do the honourable thing.
Is there a pastor, mentor that you can discuss this with?
Being Christian, you would only discuss this with another Christian or you would be in the danger of being led astray.
But first of all of course, it is to God you must go and lay it all before Him.Everything, all thoughts.
Pray that your wife be sufficient for you and that you would focus on the many blessings you have been given, rather than what you feel you have missed out on.

The other possibility for your longing for a sister is, maybe you do have one. Have you discussed this with your parents?

I hope and will pray you would find the peace you obviously long for.
God bless you.
 
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faroukfarouk

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That is a difficult situation that you are in because your wife is right and the ladies you spoke to, did indeed do the honourable thing.
Is there a pastor, mentor that you can discuss this with?
Being Christian, you would only discuss this with another Christian or you would be in the danger of being led astray.
But first of all of course, it is to God you must go and lay it all before Him.Everything, all thoughts.
Pray that your wife be sufficient for you and that you would focus on the many blessings you have been given, rather than what you feel you have missed out on.

The other possibility for your longing for a sister is, maybe you do have one. Have you discussed this with your parents?

I hope and will pray you would find the peace you obviously long for.
God bless you.
Hi @Heavenhome; I think in the circumstances of the thread, the theme of fellowship in John's First Epistle would make good reading, right?
 
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Heavenhome

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PeterJames0510

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That is a difficult situation that you are in because your wife is right and the ladies you spoke to, did indeed do the honourable thing.
Is there a pastor, mentor that you can discuss this with?
Being Christian, you would only discuss this with another Christian or you would be in the danger of being led astray.
But first of all of course, it is to God you must go and lay it all before Him.Everything, all thoughts.
Pray that your wife be sufficient for you and that you would focus on the many blessings you have been given, rather than what you feel you have missed out on.

The other possibility for your longing for a sister is, maybe you do have one. Have you discussed this with your parents?

I hope and will pray you would find the peace you obviously long for.
God bless you.

I wish there was a pastor or mentor I could discuss this with. My pastor is my father in law and is not an option. There are not other mentors I would trust with this type of information.

I am adopted, so if I have a sister - it is from my biological past which unfortunately, without a DNA test, has no further information to rely on.

Thank you for the thoughts.
 
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Heavenhome

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I wish there was a pastor or mentor I could discuss this with. My pastor is my father in law and is not an option. There are not other mentors I would trust with this type of information.

I am adopted, so if I have a sister - it is from my biological past which unfortunately, without a DNA test, has no further information to rely on.

Thank you for the thoughts.

Hello there, well that answers a lot of things.

There is a show in the UK called Long Lost Families and many on it have expressed the same longings you have.
Since you are adopted, I am guessing your parents are not forthcoming with any information?( you would have to reassure them of why you want to find things out), the only thing I can suggest is maybe searching births/adoptions where you were born.
Starting with your birth certificate.
In my former post I said to only talk to a Christian, but if it is a case of searching for adoption information this would not be necessary and quite often you may feel more comfortable discussing this with someone you don't know.
If you do some research on line you will probably find some information as to how to go about it.
Perhaps you don't want to do this as there can be many outcomes in this sort of situation, some good, some bad.

In any case you must come to the position that you can fully accept that your loving Heavenly Father and His children are all your true family and heaven your true home.

God bless you and praying for you.:)
 
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PeterJames0510

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Hello there, well that answers a lot of things.

There is a show in the UK called Long Lost Families and many on it have expressed the same longings you have.
Since you are adopted, I am guessing your parents are not forthcoming with any information?( you would have to reassure them of why you want to find things out), the only thing I can suggest is maybe searching births/adoptions where you were born.
Starting with your birth certificate.
In my former post I said to only talk to a Christian, but if it is a case of searching for adoption information this would not be necessary and quite often you may feel more comfortable discussing this with someone you don't know.
If you do some research on line you will probably find some information as to how to go about it.
Perhaps you don't want to do this as there can be many outcomes in this sort of situation, some good, some bad.

In any case you must come to the position that you can fully accept that your loving Heavenly Father and His children are all your true family and heaven your true home.

God bless you and praying for you.:)

Hi Heavenhome, thanks for talking with me about it. I did not realize there was a show dedicated also to it, but I did think that maybe there were others with similar feelings. Thank you for confirming. :)

My adopted parents know as much as I do and as much as the South American government does about my existence before I was 2 years old: nada. My Dad would be very supportive of me taking a DNA test, I've asked him about it. My Mom has passed on to glory now and she probably has a fuller story! I think I am tortured by my desires; but apparently not well enough yet for me to take the DNA test and explore a different part of my existence. Perhaps I am just not ready yet.

I know my weaknesses and my weaknesses is that I feel the empty feeling and try to fill it with empty things. What I can say is this: thank you for your kindness in listening as it means a lot to me which I can't put into words without sounding like a crazy man. So I simply pray that 'thank you' is enough for you. :)

In regards to what you said:

"In any case you must come to the position that you can fully accept that your loving Heavenly Father and His children are all your true family and heaven your true home."

My problem is if I can't experience love with other Christians (and by that I don't mean romance or things like that) - then it's just a theory to me. Or maybe if I had my family 'in-tact' (meaning I knew my siblings), I could express love more consistently. Oh maybe I am just self deceived and maybe a demon has been assigned to me to pick at my weaknesses to keep me defeated. Either way, having a conversation with you is much more meaningful to me than just accepting we're connected by Jesus because Jesus I can experience ... but the vast majority of Christian brothers and sisters, I cannot experience. Just being real, not trying to be a downer.

I've accepted these feelings and basically I know, if I was "all in" with Jesus like I am supposed to be, the feelings (though not disappearing) would be much more manageable. Thank you for your prayers. - Peter James
 
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Heavenhome

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Hello Peter James.
We are, all of us, a work in progress with God, yes we are saved the hour we first believe.

But we are continually growing in the knowledge of and dependence in Him and as time goes by, we become more dependant on Him for all things, the longings we have are truly fulfilled in Him.
I don't know if I'm making any sense to you, but I firmly believe that you will draw ever closer and complete in Him.

This doesn't mean that you won't have feelings or longings, but the longings will be more manageable and Christ centred.
We are all in this together, not one of us have "arrived" at that perfect place and won't until we are with God in heaven.

Just continue in your faith, and remember we may not feel great with trials and troubles we go through but God is working EVERYTHING for good in our lives. Its just that at the present we can't see it.

So this thread in the forum is always here for any of us that want to share, vent or whatever, don't forget that.
God bless you and your wife.:)
 
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Heavenhome

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Perhaps the lonely feelings make us grow more fonder to be with Jesus. :)

I think this is true. It keeps us closer to Him.
And reminds us (me) what is truly important.
 
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Ronit

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I personally think I'm better off alone til I find a Godly Christian guy/girl, or a person of substance to be my friend.

I was introverted growing up, then switched schools and started to become more extroverted.
Now that I don't have friends anymore I see it more as a blessing than a curse.
I'm better off without those friendships. Their worldliness and small-talk influenced me into becoming a person I never wanted to be.

The birds of the same feather flock together.

God Bless you
 
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