what are you feeling right now? (24)

Shadow said:

It's ok to not cope. You're not letting anyone down by being honest and trying to take care of yourself. It's ok to cry when you feel hurt.

*big hug*

I quit watching television several years ago. I haven't looked back. Having all the negativity, toxicity and drama beamed directly in to the home is a recipe for depression. It took about a month before I noticed how big the effect was.

The internet is almost as bad, but there is a greater degree of choice over what you read and watch. So it's more mixed. You get really great stuff and really aweful stuff at the same time.

You may want to think on whether to quit TV or reduce your internet usage so your not exposed to so much toxicity. I have found that can make a dramatic difference if only because it gives you more space to think and feel.

It won't solve it but it can alleviate the symptoms. Sometimes that's enough. Just a thought.

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Hi Shadow,

Yes, I agree with you that TV and the internet can have such a negative impact on us. There is so much garbage out there and the news is always terrible. I especially find the news & current affairs programs affect me most as they have stories on the horrible crimes that people do which makes me angry, upset & helpless.

Good on you for quitting TV.

StillGods said:

I feel like life is too difficult
I'm really tired though so that might be why.

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Sometimes it's good to just do nothing and give your brain a rest so you can do some soul searching in solitude. You will be surprised that you can grow so much spiritually from doing nothing and getting in tune with your own heart.

Jeshu said:

That is great, lets pray and hope it will work and that your fears proof to be ungrounded. Yes we often fear action because it brings negativity, but the truth is it is going to happen procrastinating or not.

Have you got a lot of Wellbutrin left?

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I got about 50 or 52 pills left. They're meant to be taken once a day.

Lady Bug said:

I got about 50 or 52 pills left. They're meant to be taken once a day.

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Indeed plenty room for procrastination. At least it gives you some power over your own destiny, you can face the change any time you want over the next 50 days.

i hope it will work out for you.

Jeshu said:

Indeed plenty room for procrastination. At least it gives you some power over your own destiny, you can face the change any time you want over the next 50 days.

i hope it will work out for you.

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I hope so too. There's also another scenario though - trying it sooner and if it doesn't work out, having enough Wellbutrin to go back to and then telling the doctor. If I wait until the end, then I'm stuck with only Cymbalta. But there's always that first moment where you are terrified to take the first pill.

Hope everyone is having a good day and feeling blessed?

I'm still not coping and feel so down about things. Hope it passes soon.

Paulus59 said:

Hope everyone is having a good day and feeling blessed?

I'm still not coping and feel so down about things. Hope it passes soon.

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Sorry to hear that Victor. Hang in brother keep your eyes peeled on Jesus it can be so hard to survive a downcast spirit. Bring your inability to Christ and ask for ability back. Keep letting God's promises to you cheer you up.

i hope you will soon pick up again.

Lady Bug said:

I hope so too. There's also another scenario though - trying it sooner and if it doesn't work out, having enough Wellbutrin to go back to and then telling the doctor. If I wait until the end, then I'm stuck with only Cymbalta.

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Good idea, best don't procrastinate, it only makes it harder and more nerve wrecking. Put your trust in Jesus and ask Him to protect you and swallow that first pill. i've done it heaps of time and did find out the 'right one' in the end. It was worth the trying out for though for it helped me heaps even though it has nasty side effects too.

very tired

StillGods said:

I feel like life is too difficult
I'm really tired though so that might be why.

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i often feel like that as well. Too much suffering. Too much negativity. Too much chaos! And yes being tired increases the negativity of all of that 10 fold. i hope you will soon feel less overwhelmed.

Please try and bring your inability to Christ and let Him give you ability to endure back in return. God is a good God who can truly help us overcome depression and its negativity.

Be of good courage.

I'm worried, should I start my new AD medication with this coronavirus scare? What if there's a medication shortage or I otherwise can't get it due to this outbreak, and I go through horrific withdrawals? should I ask the doctor about this concern, or would it look stupid?

Lady Bug said:

I'm worried, should I start my new AD medication with this coronavirus scare? What if there's a medication shortage or I otherwise can't get it due to this outbreak, and I go through horrific withdrawals? should I ask the doctor about this concern, or would it look stupid?

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We prepared ourselves for the possibility of 4 weeks in quarantine. We stocked up on food and medicine to last us a month. In the mean time we just hope and pray that it all fizzles out into nothing but a huge scare.

So stock up on your AD and food, painkillers/fever reducers and drink and do as you would otherwise hoping nothing bad will happen but be prepared if it does.

Peace

Jeshu said:

We prepared ourselves for the possibility of 4 weeks in quarantine. We stocked up on food and medicine to last us a month. In the mean time we just hope and pray that it all fizzles out into nothing but a huge scare.

So stock up on your AD and food, painkillers/fever reducers and drink and do as you would otherwise hoping nothing bad will happen but be prepared if it does.

Peace

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I already have a 2 months supply of Cymbalta, I realized.

Lady Bug said:

I already have a 2 months supply of Cymbalta, I realized.

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Now just stock up on supplies for a month or so and you be fine to get through an quarantine period.

Paulus59 said:

I'm NOT coping and feel like crying & screaming. I hate how ignorant people are to my struggles, I hate how ignorant people are period! Terrible thoughts going through my head and I'm tempted to utter terrible things to people, that I have to hang on tight to Jesus so I can ride the storm out. I just feel overwhelmed by everything because my brain isn't functioning and I'm not able to deal with anything.

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I've felt this way a good part of my life - many, many years of this and other such struggles - then I became a Christian 9 years ago. Comfort and peace eventually came to me - not suddenly, but incrementally bit by bit.
You actually have come upon your answer and don't realize it - you stated, "I have to hang on tight to Jesus ....". That's it. He'll not only help you ride out each storm, He will give His strength to you for this and other storms - strength you do not have yourself. Each time you let Him take over, and stop resisting His power, you will come through coping better, feeling better, and hating less. It may be ever so slight and ever so gradual at first, but God is then doing what only God can do - take over when you can't - and you will change - and grow - and be more of what He wants you to be and what you yourself yearn to be. It works. I know, others know, so many on this forum know - that's why they're here to help [Jeshu & Tempura posts for example]. Stop resisting, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and ask God with whatever strength you have to take your burden and be your strength. Surrender - then be still and know that He is God and He will restore you as you ask.

i feel sad and lonely. Clinton, Kelsey and Karsten and Nate are gone not to come back this way, for who knows how long, if ever together as a family. Karsten is school age now so long over seas holidays become much harder to do and much more expensive.

A pain when a son meets a girl in other country. They are happy, and he is doing well there, but he misses us and his friends and family as well as Australia. Clinton loves the outdoors and for outdoors people this place is like paradise. The coast is spectacular. Good surfing, which Clinton loves doing and plenty of four wheel driving to get to those isolated beaches. Where on a hot Summer's day you can have the whole beach for yourself. They stayed two months this time, it flew past. They had a house and a four wheel drive car so they really enjoyed themselves and were free to do whatever they felt like doing.

They flying back over Hong Kong. Flying is dangerous at the moment but they thought it was worth the risk. (Trusting in God for protection.) The plane to Hong Kong is only 10 percent full and the plane to Canada only 43 percent full. However travelling with a 18 month old and a four year old will tax their abilities to the max anyhow, they know from previous experience. They are not at all looking forward to the trip back but life in Canada is calling them back.

i don't know if i ever see them again this side of the grave. The Carona virus is spreading! With my bad lungs and being an asthma suffer as well i have much less change of survival then those who are healthy. Not that i'm scared to die or that in some way i don't even mind if God takes me this way. Life with Him is fabulous, life down here just suffering upon suffering.

Yet letting go of loved ones is always harder. Plus i feel deeply sorry for Yvonne if she had to miss me as her companion. She is the main reason i never committed suicide, even though i begged her for permission, she held onto the idea that God determines the end not depression, and i knew she was right about that, even though it made me angry at the time. It be best if we died together so that one wouldn't have to miss the other one but then we still have the kids and grand kids, i know they be devastated if Yvonne died.

i'm going to put some good music on and let Scripture guide my path, so that i can lift myself out of this sadness i'm feeling now.

Wishing everyone well

Hello Jeshu. I'm so sorry that you're sad and lonely now - especially since, in the short while I've been on CF, I've seen how much your posts help and uplift others.

I have just come through a very harsh period of despair - and much has been related to loneliness. I live alone and only have a son and his wife, and they've recently moved from Florida to the Georgia mountains. My grandson is in college now and living in Florida but miles away. The reality that they're not here has hit hard - and depression turned to a dangerous despair. I haven't been that down in the 9 years since I became a Christian. My circumstances overwhelmed me - I wanted to give up - so I did. I told God that was it, I couldn't do it anymore - that He had to take over. And ..... He did. Gradually in the next few days the fog surrounding me lifted and I could breath. I cried, I prayed, and I realized in those deep moments of loneliness, that I wasn't alone. The breakthrough was real - and the promises of God were exactly what His Word stated. Psalm 34 is one of my favorites and there it was, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The God who made me is truly with me and I know now that he will never leave.

Of course there will be setbacks and my depression will be there and worsen at times, but I know too much now to give up. Instead of asking God to give me strength, I only need to ask Him to be my strength. And I'm so grateful that he never gave up on me.

God Bless - and be thankful for the wonderful visit you had and for your wife and all the others that love and surround you. And remember that He is there with you right now.

Vieste said:

I've felt this way a good part of my life - many, many years of this and other such struggles - then I became a Christian 9 years ago. Comfort and peace eventually came to me - not suddenly, but incrementally bit by bit.
You actually have come upon your answer and don't realize it - you stated, "I have to hang on tight to Jesus ....". That's it. He'll not only help you ride out each storm, He will give His strength to you for this and other storms - strength you do not have yourself. Each time you let Him take over, and stop resisting His power, you will come through coping better, feeling better, and hating less. It may be ever so slight and ever so gradual at first, but God is then doing what only God can do - take over when you can't - and you will change - and grow - and be more of what He wants you to be and what you yourself yearn to be. It works. I know, others know, so many on this forum know - that's why they're here to help [Jeshu & Tempura posts for example]. Stop resisting, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and ask God with whatever strength you have to take your burden and be your strength. Surrender - then be still and know that He is God and He will restore you as you ask.

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Thank you Vieste. So true what you wrote and I do hang onto Jesus as I know he is the only one that will get me through the storms of life, though sometimes I take my eyes off him when situations in my life get too much. I will continue to seek his face everyday for strength.

So wonderful that you became a Christian 9 years ago. I see he is taking you forward and blessing you with wisdom & kindness and may he continue to lavish you with his love & blessings!

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Vieste said:

Hello Jeshu. I'm so sorry that you're sad and lonely now - especially since, in the short while I've been on CF, I've seen how much your posts help and uplift others.

I have just come through a very harsh period of despair - and much has been related to loneliness. I live alone and only have a son and his wife, and they've recently moved from Florida to the Georgia mountains. My grandson is in college now and living in Florida but miles away. The reality that they're not here has hit hard - and depression turned to a dangerous despair. I haven't been that down in the 9 years since I became a Christian. My circumstances overwhelmed me - I wanted to give up - so I did. I told God that was it, I couldn't do it anymore - that He had to take over. And ..... He did. Gradually in the next few days the fog surrounding me lifted and I could breath. I cried, I prayed, and I realized in those deep moments of loneliness, that I wasn't alone. The breakthrough was real - and the promises of God were exactly what His Word stated. Psalm 34 is one of my favorites and there it was, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The God who made me is truly with me and I know now that he will never leave.

Of course there will be setbacks and my depression will be there and worsen at times, but I know too much now to give up. Instead of asking God to give me strength, I only need to ask Him to be my strength. And I'm so grateful that he never gave up on me.

God Bless - and be thankful for the wonderful visit you had and for your wife and all the others that love and surround you. And remember that He is there with you right now.

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Thank you very much for your words of kindness and love, very much appreciated. It is true i have a thankful heart. God gave us 14 grand children, only two live far from us. Plus we can visit.

That is the problem with depression it can rob us of God's truth and make everything negative i do have to watch out with that.

i put Sherri Youngward on she sing straight out of the bible i love her songs a lot and they lift me up before God's face. Sure it hurts to love but i rather hurt love than be indifferent to love. i love How God has made us to mourn loss, how wonderful that we can do that in the light of His promises even.

So good to hear you learned to rely on Jesus to bring you your ability. Indeed that is how it goes.

Please Lord take over the steering wheel of our lives and teach us to trust Your direction and Your speed.

Vieste said:

Psalm 34 is one of my favorites

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After Psalm 51 and 119 it has massive meaning in my life as well.

I love these verses.

Psalms 34:1-7
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.


I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.