lost a friend

Eishiba

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So I have had the same best friend for 16 years. He came out of Christianity maybe 10 years ago. We have stil remained friends but things are a little rough because i had to be careful about what i talked about because i didnt want to come off as one of those Christians who forces their ideas on you. He knew what I believed so I figured if he wanted to ask a question he could but until then I wasnt going to bring it up. But just a bit ago, we were texting about transgenders. His sister is trangender. He went on and called me names and was about as logically inconstistent as most people on the left are the days. It was so strange to because hes always been a pretty peaceful guy who just wants equality for everyone but yet will call me hateful things. Like "because you are a racist, homophobic, transphobic prick and not worth the spit under my shoe"

Like if anyone could have ever known this guy, he isnt anything like he was. Hes still a carrying guy just on the wrong side. He used to be the leader of the teens in our old youth group. He led people going door to door. But now its this. We used to say "Brother to brother, yours in death and life" as the knights would say to each other at the round table in First Knight. I would like prayer for us both. I pray one day he discovers the truth. I pray I find some kind of peace.
 

GaveMeJoy

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So I have had the same best friend for 16 years. He came out of Christianity maybe 10 years ago. We have stil remained friends but things are a little rough because i had to be careful about what i talked about because i didnt want to come off as one of those Christians who forces their ideas on you. He knew what I believed so I figured if he wanted to ask a question he could but until then I wasnt going to bring it up. But just a bit ago, we were texting about transgenders. His sister is trangender. He went on and called me names and was about as logically inconstistent as most people on the left are the days. It was so strange to because hes always been a pretty peaceful guy who just wants equality for everyone but yet will call me hateful things. Like "because you are a racist, homophobic, transphobic prick and not worth the spit under my shoe"

Like if anyone could have ever known this guy, he isnt anything like he was. Hes still a carrying guy just on the wrong side. He used to be the leader of the teens in our old youth group. He led people going door to door. But now its this. We used to say "Brother to brother, yours in death and life" as the knights would say to each other at the round table in First Knight. I would like prayer for us both. I pray one day he discovers the truth. I pray I find some kind of peace.
Hey sorry for this, I know it hurts. This same thing happened to me, only it was my Christian wife of 9 years and mother of my two young kiddos. She walked away from God completely, cheated, left me and now I get to be grateful that she texts me “you can do your stupid little Christian stuff with the boys but don’t you ever try to tell them the bigotry about LGBTQ being wrong or any of that “stuff”.”

it’s like a demon or alien went into my best friend overnight, killed her, and now walks around with her skin on like a summer dress. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to lose a close person you love when they walk away from Jesus and still have to see their bodies walking around from time to time. All I can say is Jesus will give you peace and joy in any suffering, if you seek it with all your heart.

I made this list last year during my divorce, it’s like a prescription for joy, can’t get through without having it back
maybe it will do that for you as well.


joy/suffering verses


What Is It?

When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
Acts 7:54-56


Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and asked his advisers, “Did we not throw three men, firmly bound, into the fire?”

“Certainly, O king,” they replied.

“Look!” he exclaimed. “I see four men, unbound and unharmed, walking around in the fire—and the fourth looks like a son of the gods!”

Daniel 3: 24-25


Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4


1 Peter 1:6-9

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.



So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
John 16:22


Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
-1 Peter 4:12-13
At this time, Emperor Nero was burning the bodies of Christians to light his gardens in the evenings


Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1–2)


Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Psalm 32:11


What Does It Do?


Psalm 94:19 "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."


“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28.


1 Peter 5:10
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.


Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39


" Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found, and hid. In his joy, he goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field.

— Matthew 13:44"


Psalm 5:11 "But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee."


Where does it come from? From Holy Spirit. From Trust. From Obedience .


Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.


So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
1 Peter 4:19 - Bible Gateway passage: 1 Peter 4:19 - New International Version


Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7


The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
Psalm 103:19


Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."


“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.John 15:9-11


Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habakkuk 3:17-18


And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.
2 Corinthians 8:1-2

I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.
Philippians 1:23-26

Paul says that continuing to inspire progress and joy in the church was one of the only reasons he was still even alive on earth.


33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more GLADLY about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12


I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.
Romans 8:18-19


Romans 5:1-5 New International Version (NIV)
Peace and Hope
5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.




Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Neh 8:10



Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.


In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
2 Timothy 3:12
 
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Eishiba

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Hey sorry for this, I know it hurts. This same thing happened to me, only it was my Christian wife of 9 years and mother of my two young kiddos. She walked away from God completely, cheated, left me and now I get to be grateful that she texts me “you can do your stupid little Christian stuff with the boys but don’t you ever try to tell them the bigotry about LGBTQ being wrong or any of that “stuff”.”

it’s like a demon or alien went into my best friend overnight, killed her, and now walks around with her skin on like a summer dress. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to lose a close person you love when they walk away from Jesus and still have to see their bodies walking around from time to time. All I can say is Jesus will give you peace and joy in any suffering, if you seek it with all your heart.

I made this list last year during my divorce, it’s like a prescription for joy, can’t get through without having it back
maybe it will do that for you as well.


joy/suffering verses


What Is It?

When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
Acts 7:54-56


Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and asked his advisers, “Did we not throw three men, firmly bound, into the fire?”

“Certainly, O king,” they replied.

“Look!” he exclaimed. “I see four men, unbound and unharmed, walking around in the fire—and the fourth looks like a son of the gods!”

Daniel 3: 24-25


Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4


1 Peter 1:6-9

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.



So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
John 16:22


Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
-1 Peter 4:12-13
At this time, Emperor Nero was burning the bodies of Christians to light his gardens in the evenings


Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1–2)


Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Psalm 32:11


What Does It Do?


Psalm 94:19 "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."


“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28.


1 Peter 5:10
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.


Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39


" Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found, and hid. In his joy, he goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field.

— Matthew 13:44"


Psalm 5:11 "But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee."


Where does it come from? From Holy Spirit. From Trust. From Obedience .


Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.


So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
1 Peter 4:19 - Bible Gateway passage: 1 Peter 4:19 - New International Version


Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7


The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
Psalm 103:19


Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."


“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.John 15:9-11


Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habakkuk 3:17-18


And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.
2 Corinthians 8:1-2

I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.
Philippians 1:23-26

Paul says that continuing to inspire progress and joy in the church was one of the only reasons he was still even alive on earth.


33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more GLADLY about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12


I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.
Romans 8:18-19


Romans 5:1-5 New International Version (NIV)
Peace and Hope
5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.




Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Neh 8:10



Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.


In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
2 Timothy 3:12

I thank you for these verses. I have been holding onto MAtthew 5:11-12
11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
 
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SkyWriting

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So I have had the same best friend for 16 years. He came out of Christianity maybe 10 years ago. We have stil remained friends but things are a little rough because i had to be careful about what i talked about because i didnt want to come off as one of those Christians who forces their ideas on you. He knew what I believed so I figured if he wanted to ask a question he could but until then I wasnt going to bring it up. But just a bit ago, we were texting about transgenders. His sister is trangender. He went on and called me names and was about as logically inconstistent as most people on the left are the days. It was so strange to because hes always been a pretty peaceful guy who just wants equality for everyone but yet will call me hateful things. Like "because you are a racist, homophobic, transphobic prick and not worth the spit under my shoe"

Like if anyone could have ever known this guy, he isnt anything like he was. Hes still a carrying guy just on the wrong side. He used to be the leader of the teens in our old youth group. He led people going door to door. But now its this. We used to say "Brother to brother, yours in death and life" as the knights would say to each other at the round table in First Knight. I would like prayer for us both. I pray one day he discovers the truth. I pray I find some kind of peace.

What had you said about his sister that caused this response? Do you think you had informed him about some inside information about his sister that he was unaware of?

I had a brother who was never mainstream in society and I doubt I'd be happy about anyone who did not love him dearly.
 
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Eishiba

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What had you said about his sister that caused this response? Do you think you had informed him about some inside information about his sister that he was unaware of?

I had a brother who was never mainstream in society and I doubt I'd be happy about anyone who did not love him dearly.

I didnt mention anything specifically about his sister. I was just speaking transgenders in general.
 
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createdtoworship

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So I have had the same best friend for 16 years. He came out of Christianity maybe 10 years ago. We have stil remained friends but things are a little rough because i had to be careful about what i talked about because i didnt want to come off as one of those Christians who forces their ideas on you. He knew what I believed so I figured if he wanted to ask a question he could but until then I wasnt going to bring it up. But just a bit ago, we were texting about transgenders. His sister is trangender. He went on and called me names and was about as logically inconstistent as most people on the left are the days. It was so strange to because hes always been a pretty peaceful guy who just wants equality for everyone but yet will call me hateful things. Like "because you are a racist, homophobic, transphobic prick and not worth the spit under my shoe"

Like if anyone could have ever known this guy, he isnt anything like he was. Hes still a carrying guy just on the wrong side. He used to be the leader of the teens in our old youth group. He led people going door to door. But now its this. We used to say "Brother to brother, yours in death and life" as the knights would say to each other at the round table in First Knight. I would like prayer for us both. I pray one day he discovers the truth. I pray I find some kind of peace.
Thats like cyber abuse, get rid of him. You must love everyone, and you can love him and not allow him the trust ofyour inner circle of friends. My inner influence are all on fire christians. And yesterday I formulated a 30 year testimony of Christ's victory in my life from getting all pumped up about testimony from these friends of mine. I used to be very political like your friend is. But ultimately I realized life is not all about freedom. Every freedom we have cost someone else their own freedom. For a homosexuals freedom to marry, well that cost a pastors right to refuse to marry them according to their biblical command. So you see my point. Freedoms are not really free. They almost always cost something. And recently christians have been giving up freedoms left and right. But all the more to pray to God for Christ's kingdom to come, for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. But yeah, that person thinks they can trash talk you, and that is not a friend. Just tell them you love them dearly but wish to focus your friendships on God honoring friendships that encourage your faith. He will understand. He won't like it, but if He questions is. Tell Him about the spit under the shoe comment and how it's cyber bullying and that you simply won't put up with it in a friendship. One of the things I did in the past that I loved and was so excited about was mute all my facebook friends that never corresponded with me. In fact tonight I muted a bunch more that I thought about it. You don't have to have a one sided friendship. you like their posts and pictures but they care less about yours. That is not a friend. So I didn't unfriend them, I just unfollowed them. On other social media you can mute them. It' important to put only encouraging stuff before us. I used to read news all the time, I don't do that anymore. It's too negative. It causes worry and anxiety. We are to have faith in God that he will provide our daily bread. We don't need the fear mongering of the news. And it's not a one and done action, you continually have to remove foreign influences from your mind, all the time. To purify our lives to be more like christ.
 
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Stephanie7

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Sometimes it doesn't have to be personal against you only, it could be a reaction against all Christians and their teachings. Sort of a defense mechanism to defend themselves or a loved one against the truth that is judging them.
Heavenly Father, may Eisihba continue to love and support this dear friend. May he understand that it was nothing personal against him or his sister. Grant him peace and a change of heart towards his friend, so they may reconcile, In JESUS Name, Amen
 
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LoricaLady

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I have had a similar experience of being berated and insulted and bullied because of my political and religious views though, like you, I wasn't trying to convert anyone. Yes, I will pray for the person. But it seems best to go no contact. People who insult others and rail against them are not well and can, if you keep letting them abuse you, eventually cause you to lose self confidence in your own truth and worth. Really, they are using a technique called "gaslighting." I pray for your peace and protection.

 
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LoricaLady

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P.S. The lady in the vid is sometimes kind of mixing up trauma bonding with gaslighting. In trauma bonding an abuser is nice enough to suck someone in, build up trust, and form an emotional bond, but that is alternated with abuse.
 
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