what are you feeling right now? (24)

nvm

LoyalToGod said:

I can't believe I almost hurt myself...

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What a horrible experience that must have been. Praying that you will find peace with yourself again.

Jeshu said:

What a horrible experience that must have been. Praying that you will find peace with yourself again.

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Thank you, Jeshu, but I'm done...

sea5763 said:

That's sad that you were thinking of it but good that you did not

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why is it a good thing? I prefer death.

LoyalToGod said:

Thank you, Jeshu, but I'm done...

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i'm so sorry to hear you are thinking and feeling like that. Would it help to vent some of those feelings out into the open? What has been happening that makes you so willing to die?

Praying you will have a change of mind.

Jeshu said:

i'm so sorry to hear you are thinking and feeling like that. Would it help to vent some of those feelings out into the open? What has been happening that makes you so willing to die?

Praying you will have a change of mind.

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No one appreciates me, and no one cares about me. Only people that do are mom and brother, but they're at their limit, and on top of it all, I'm being tempted beyond my ability to endure...

LoyalToGod said:

No one appreciates me, and no one cares about me. Only people that do are mom and brother, but they're at their limit, and on top of it all, I'm being tempted beyond my ability to endure...

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i'm very sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. However this time will pass. i found that being tempted beyond what we can endure with Jesus makes us stronger than we have ever been in the end. Please go to Jesus when temptation strikes and bring your weakness and trouble to Him and ask for His good life back in return and then go to work with that.

How would your mum and brother feel if you were not around any more? They love you, and you love them!

Let God's love win this battle Loyal, please bring your pain to Him.

Jeshu said:

i'm very sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. However this time will pass. i found that being tempted beyond what we can endure with Jesus makes us stronger than we have ever been in the end. Please go to Jesus when temptation strikes and bring your weakness and trouble to Him and ask for His good life back in return and then go to work with that.

How would your mum and brother feel if you were not around any more? They love you, and you love them!

Let God's love win this battle Loyal, please bring your pain to Him.

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Easy for you to say! God has abandoned me. And don't try to get me to forgive either

Why do I even bother obeying God, when my life is crumbling to pieces, while everyone else is prospering?

LoyalToGod said:

Why do I even bother obeying God, when my life is crumbling to pieces, while everyone else is prospering?

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Yes many believers have asked themselves this question Loyal, i have as well. It seems unfair. Yet together with the psalmist i say that the way of the wicked is only prosperous in material gain not spiritual, so when the day of judgement comes such people will not survive God's wrath.

For us believers it is different. We grow through hardships and become more loving and more gentle people, plus we gain all those other goodies, such as heavenly bread and drink, a constant Helper in time of need and a faithful Saviour when we fall, and great promises for our future in and with Him. But above all a great reward in the end when we may dwell with Him in glory.

The wicked will want to hurt you and keep you away from Jesus and your salvation in Him, but after the battle comes a life of peace as we dwell in His rest.

Be of good courage Loyal faith in Jesus will never be in vain.

Psalms 73
Truly God is good to Israel,
To such as are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled;
My steps had nearly slipped.
For I was envious of the boastful,
When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For there are no pangs in their death,
But their strength is firm.
They are not in trouble as other men,
Nor are they plagued like other men.
Therefore pride serves as their necklace;
Violence covers them like a garment.
Their eyes bulge with abundance;
They have more than heart could wish.
They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression;
They speak loftily.
They set their mouth against the heavens,
And their tongue walks through the earth.


Therefore his people return here,
And waters of a full cup are drained by them.
And they say, “How does God know?
And is there knowledge in the Most High?”
Behold, these are the ungodly,
Who are always at ease;
They increase in riches.
Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain,
And washed my hands in innocence.
For all day long I have been plagued,
And chastened every morning.


If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children.
When I thought how to understand this,
It was too painful for me—
Until I went into the sanctuary of God;
Then I understood their end.


Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.
Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment!
They are utterly consumed with terrors.
As a dream when one awakes,
So, Lord, when You awake,
You shall despise their image.


Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.


Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.


For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord God,
That I may declare all Your works.

LoyalToGod said:

Why do I even bother obeying God, when my life is crumbling to pieces, while everyone else is prospering?

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I understand what you are going through. But please don't hurt yourself. You are loved

MissRowy said:

I understand what you are going through. But please don't hurt yourself. You are loved

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Thank you, MissRowy! It's just February is a tough month for me.

I think I should stop venting on here, because no one cares about me on here, and those who do usually give me platitudes. Goodbye.

LoyalToGod said:

I think I should stop venting on here, because no one cares about me on here, and those who do usually give me platitudes. Goodbye.

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i'm sorry you experienced this forum like that. i know that i and others have often prayed for you and hoped life would pick up for you. It is hard to be mentally ill.

God go with you

Depressed again. i had a few days where i was a little better and then been back down again. Such a pain. i've been struggling to focus on Jesus and find it hard to feel useful. i have to let it all go and let Jesus be sufficient. i can't help but love Him for His sacrifice. Such an awesome deal. i wish i could feel happy about it.

wishing you all a blessed week.

Anhedonia is what i suffer from right now, i hate it, it makes me so terribly unmotivated. i have to force myself to write even short sentences. i can't be bothered with anything and have no motivation. i feel emptied out.

i hope Jesus will put something better there than has been the case. It be great to have my feelings back again.

Jeshu said:

Anhedonia is what i suffer from right now, i hate it, it makes me so terribly unmotivated. i have to force myself to write even short sentences. i can't be bothered with anything and have no motivation. i feel emptied out.

i hope Jesus will put something better there than has been the case. It be great to have my feelings back again.

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Yes Jeshu, I'm that same. I have been like that for years and still am, I struggle to do the most simplest of things and people just don't understand. I have learnt to take it one day at a time. Let's hope & pray we get our souls back and live again. God be with you Jeshu and provide for your needs to give you the assurance of his love and hope that comes with Christ Jesus.

Paulus59 said:

Yes Jeshu, I'm that same. I have been like that for years and still am, I struggle to do the most simplest of things and people just don't understand.

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i'm sorry to hear that you got the same problem. i didn't know that it was an condition until recently, i thought it was my depression but it is different than depression. i lost all interest in hobbies, even programming i haven't done for over a year. i simply don't care about anything any more, can't be bothered because i have no motivation whatsoever.

i still have my joy and love in The Lord, but it is a knowledge rather than an emotional feeling. i know His love, i rejoice in my salvation because i see it growing within me. i trust that God will bring me back my emotions one day, so i can both know and feel.

Not feeling is so dangerous, for no emotions warn me of danger. i have no guilt, nor shame, neither can i feel love or joy emotionally. i'm just flat, like a heart monitor displays when the heart beat stops. i hate it for i want to care more, but half the time i couldn't care less. For my emotions are unmoved.

Yet when big things happen. Like a death or something then the emotions do fire but so highly strung that they hurt like hell and it seems i'm dying. Weird how that is. Also when i watch a movie my emotions speak far to loud and persistent that i have to turn the TV off i haven't watched a good movie in years because of that, also because i couldn't care less about a movie, not a book either. Only the bible held its appeal but even then there are plenty of times i couldn't care less about it. i hate being like that but there seems little i can do to change that.

So either nothing or ten thousand volts with me, weird or what?

To keep exercises my mind to love and care seems to be the best weapon against it, but even then i often falter, and drift of into utter boredom where i hate not doing anything but dread having to do something, because i lack motivation and feel drained and tired 24/7. The worst place to be in i reckon. i hate being like that and then i get my depressive times on top of that.

i haven't been able to find many resources on the condition. i have heard there are exercises we can do to train our minds to use our emotions again but i have been unable to get hold of them. i do know keeping a journal of your emotions can help but again unmotivated makes it hard to keep that up. i haven't prayed on paper of ages, i used to and it taught me heaps, but lately i can't be stuffed even writing a poem. Such a pity. i loved writing poems a few years ago, now i can't be stuffed most of the time.

i hate to have to always push myself to do things, but that is the only way i can get anything done.

i hope you and i will soon get our emotions back again God willing.

Peace.

Jeshu said:

i'm sorry to hear that you got the same problem. i didn't know that it was an condition until recently, i thought it was my depression but it is different than depression. i lost all interest in hobbies, even programming i haven't done for over a year. i simply don't care about anything any more, can't be bothered because i have no motivation whatsoever.

i still have my joy and love in The Lord, but it is a knowledge rather than an emotional feeling. i know His love, i rejoice in my salvation because i see it growing within me. i trust that God will bring me back my emotions one day, so i can both know and feel.

Not feeling is so dangerous, for no emotions warn me of danger. i have no guilt, nor shame, neither can i feel love or joy emotionally. i'm just flat, like a heart monitor displays when the heart beat stops. i hate it for i want to care more, but half the time i couldn't care less. For my emotions are unmoved.

Yet when big things happen. Like a death or something then the emotions do fire but so highly strung that they hurt like hell and it seems i'm dying. Weird how that is. Also when i watch a movie my emotions speak far to loud and persistent that i have to turn the TV off i haven't watched a good movie in years because of that, also because i couldn't care less about a movie, not a book either. Only the bible held its appeal but even then there are plenty of times i couldn't care less about it. i hate being like that but there seems little i can do to change that.

So either nothing or ten thousand volts with me, weird or what?

To keep exercises my mind to love and care seems to be the best weapon against it, but even then i often falter, and drift of into utter boredom where i hate not doing anything but dread having to do something, because i lack motivation and feel drained and tired 24/7. The worst place to be in i reckon. i hate being like that and then i get my depressive times on top of that.

i haven't been able to find many resources on the condition. i have heard there are exercises we can do to train our minds to use our emotions again but i have been unable to get hold of them. i do know keeping a journal of your emotions can help but again unmotivated makes it hard to keep that up. i haven't prayed on paper of ages, i used to and it taught me heaps, but lately i can't be stuffed even writing a poem. Such a pity. i loved writing poems a few years ago, now i can't be stuffed most of the time.

i hate to have to always push myself to do things, but that is the only way i can get anything done.

i hope you and i will soon get our emotions back again God willing.

Peace.

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I feel for you Jeshu and are deeply saddened by your suffering, I hate to see good people down. I hope & pray that one day soon you will come out of this and regain your former self and express yourself in your creative works again. I know exactly what you are going through as I struggle with the same problems and can relate to you in every-way, some days I feel like there is nothing left of me as if my personality & character have been stripped down too nothing, though I do have some days when I feel a bit better which gives me hope that I will regain my life & soul back again.

I know that you are a very intelligent man with a good heart and I'm comforted by the fact that you have Christ in your life Jeshu and that his love sustains you. Christ is hope & light in an otherwise dark world. Please don't give up, even if you have nothing in this world, you have God who is everything.

Praying for your healing Jeshu!

Kind regards,

Victor.

Paulus59 said:

I feel for you Jeshu and are deeply saddened by your suffering

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Thank you for caring. It is good to meet someone who has been through the valley of death as well and has survived faith wise. So many good brothers and sisters seem to loose their hold on God when they tumble down that pit of misery, it used to be like that for me as well, but now i seem to grab Jesus even closer when i slip and it is true He keeps us up and winning.

Paulus59 said:

Please don't give up, even if you have nothing in this world, you have God who is everything.

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i don't plan to ever give up. Serving God is best of best. He brings so much good life alive within. His love sustains and protects me from my enemies. It least the bible speaks true now, there was a time i thought it was all edited and unreliable to help us when we were down, but now i know it were the lies ruling that kept my eyes from seeing the truth of God's salvation.

With Jesus we can overcome, even deepest misery and with our weakest selves.

Be of good courage Victor Jesus will keep you in the bond of love as well. He does it for all His children.

Many blessings


Gerry