Struggling to Love God

Duke of Stratford · Feb 16, 2020

Hey, everyone--

First time posting, and I'm a bit nervous.

I was raised in a Christian household and have gone to church most of my life. Now that I'm a young adult, I've become more evaluative of my place in the faith. Lifelong struggles with anxiety and insecurity have made this somewhat difficult--lots of doubt, insecurity, and feelings of condemnation. With advice from family, pastors, and friends, I've realized that I struggle with legalism. I'm trying to accept that sanctification is a lifelong process and that I should focus on conviction, not condemnation. Easier said than done.

I want to walk in the faith without legalism, but I know that I struggle to love God wholeheartedly. I acknowledge that we all have trouble with this; after all, we all sin. But I'm often scared to spend time with Him because I struggle so much with feeling condemned, which makes me afraid that I might not really have faith at all. I struggle to love the Word, I struggle to worship, I struggle to WANT to live for His glory above my own. I pray that He'll change my heart and give me the right picture of His character, but I always worry I have mixed motives when I ask. Basically, it's just this spiral of feeling terrible about my relationship with God that I can't seem to break free of.

Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

Thanks for listening, and I'd really appreciate some prayers.

maintenance man · Feb 16, 2020

Welcome to the forums! Thanks for sharing your story. I don't think you're alone. I think there are many Christians with this same problem. I suspect you'll hear from one or more here.

I'm praying that you come to a place where you can rest in the arms of Jesus. I think the best way for you to get there is to take it one step at a time rather than waiting for some big event to change you in an instant. Perhaps you need to specifically identify the things you want to change and make small incremental steps toward that change. Allow your faith to grow gradually over time but be deliberate about how you will get there. Don't ask more of yourself than you are able to give. It may take years, but as long as you stay pointed in the right direction you will get there.

Many blessings.

Cis.jd · Feb 16, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

It's part of the "over thinking" that many people, especially young adults, go through. It comes and goes as you grow older. You'll let it go eventually.

eleos1954 · Feb 16, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Hey, everyone--

First time posting, and I'm a bit nervous.

I was raised in a Christian household and have gone to church most of my life. Now that I'm a young adult, I've become more evaluative of my place in the faith. Lifelong struggles with anxiety and insecurity have made this somewhat difficult--lots of doubt, insecurity, and feelings of condemnation. With advice from family, pastors, and friends, I've realized that I struggle with legalism. I'm trying to accept that sanctification is a lifelong process and that I should focus on conviction, not condemnation. Easier said than done.

I want to walk in the faith without legalism, but I know that I struggle to love God wholeheartedly. I acknowledge that we all have trouble with this; after all, we all sin. But I'm often scared to spend time with Him because I struggle so much with feeling condemned, which makes me afraid that I might not really have faith at all. I struggle to love the Word, I struggle to worship, I struggle to WANT to live for His glory above my own. I pray that He'll change my heart and give me the right picture of His character, but I always worry I have mixed motives when I ask. Basically, it's just this spiral of feeling terrible about my relationship with God that I can't seem to break free of.

Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

Thanks for listening, and I'd really appreciate some prayers.

Hello and welcome to CF

Galatians 5:22-25

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

Try focusing on and pursuing the fruit.

When you mess up, ask for forgiveness ... receive it ... and resume pursuing the fruit.

Jesus is all for you ... He knows you are going to mess up here and there (we all do) ... He is faithful and is always there to help you to pursue the fruit.

Mark 11:24

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Every day is a new day in the Lord, rejoice and be glad in it. AMEN

May the Lords love give you peace and comfort. AMEN

royal priest · Feb 16, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Hey, everyone--

First time posting, and I'm a bit nervous.

I was raised in a Christian household and have gone to church most of my life. Now that I'm a young adult, I've become more evaluative of my place in the faith. Lifelong struggles with anxiety and insecurity have made this somewhat difficult--lots of doubt, insecurity, and feelings of condemnation. With advice from family, pastors, and friends, I've realized that I struggle with legalism. I'm trying to accept that sanctification is a lifelong process and that I should focus on conviction, not condemnation. Easier said than done.

I want to walk in the faith without legalism, but I know that I struggle to love God wholeheartedly. I acknowledge that we all have trouble with this; after all, we all sin. But I'm often scared to spend time with Him because I struggle so much with feeling condemned, which makes me afraid that I might not really have faith at all. I struggle to love the Word, I struggle to worship, I struggle to WANT to live for His glory above my own. I pray that He'll change my heart and give me the right picture of His character, but I always worry I have mixed motives when I ask. Basically, it's just this spiral of feeling terrible about my relationship with God that I can't seem to break free of.

Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

Thanks for listening, and I'd really appreciate some prayers.

How familiar are you with the doctrine of justification?

Saint Steven · Feb 16, 2020

Brad Jersak - 'A More Christlike God' Conference (Part 1) - Altona, Manitoba, Canada (19.02.2015) A seminar presented at Seeds Church Altona, Canada on February 19-21, 2016

Duke of Stratford · Feb 16, 2020

royal priest said:
How familiar are you with the doctrine of justification?

Pretty familiar. It’s still hard to internalize sometimes.

St_Worm2 · Feb 16, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Hey, everyone--

First time posting, and I'm a bit nervous.

I was raised in a Christian household and have gone to church most of my life. Now that I'm a young adult, I've become more evaluative of my place in the faith. Lifelong struggles with anxiety and insecurity have made this somewhat difficult--lots of doubt, insecurity, and feelings of condemnation. With advice from family, pastors, and friends, I've realized that I struggle with legalism. I'm trying to accept that sanctification is a lifelong process and that I should focus on conviction, not condemnation. Easier said than done.

I want to walk in the faith without legalism, but I know that I struggle to love God wholeheartedly. I acknowledge that we all have trouble with this; after all, we all sin. But I'm often scared to spend time with Him because I struggle so much with feeling condemned, which makes me afraid that I might not really have faith at all. I struggle to love the Word, I struggle to worship, I struggle to WANT to live for His glory above my own. I pray that He'll change my heart and give me the right picture of His character, but I always worry I have mixed motives when I ask. Basically, it's just this spiral of feeling terrible about my relationship with God that I can't seem to break free of.

Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

Thanks for listening, and I'd really appreciate some prayers.

Hey Blaire, WELCOME TO CF :wave:

I'm glad that you found us and joined in the discussions

As for what you are going through right now, the feelings that you are having about the faith, it happens to all of us to varying degrees, so know that you are hardly alone in your struggles. When feelings or thoughts like you are having start coming my way, I've learned to rebuke them (in a sense) by taking them "captive" .. 2 Corinthians 10:5, and then I hand them over to Jesus to deal with instead (and I ask for forgiveness whenever I need to, of course, whenever I sense the HS convicting me).

I've also learned to take myself to the foot of the Cross again, because it is nearly impossible to forget how much the He loves me and to what lengths He went to secure me as one of His very own from that particular vantage point

It also helps me to remember that He knows the end of all things from the beginning .. Isaiah 46:9-10, including my entire life, which tells me that there is nothing that I will ever do, good or bad, that will be a surprise to Him. So, whenever you start feeling anxious, or you begin to doubt His love for you, remember how long He has loved you (from everlasting .. Jeremiah 31:3) and that He saved you knowing ~exactly~ who and what He was getting when He did :amen:

Question, along with legalism (which can be very problematic), have you considered the enemy's involvement in your struggles as well? Whenever I hear Christians mention that they are having feelings of anxiety, doubt, unworthiness, insecurity and/or condemnation, it's the enemy who comes to mind first (because our "feelings" are the devil's playground, so to speak). Listening to our feelings can both amplify the enemy's voice, and all but drown out the Lord's at the same time.

So, what to do.

1. First and foremost, go to the foot of the Cross and remember all that God did for you there, that He loves you so much that He chose to die for you (so that you wouldn't have to live out eternity without Him, nor He without you

).
2. Then, armed with the knowledge of how much He loves you, take the thoughts/feelings that you have of doubt, unworthiness and condemnation "captive", again and again and again as needed, until the devil finally flees from you .. e.g. James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8-9 cf Ephesians 6:10-17.
3. Make a conscious effort to always listen to God's voice, rather than Satan's (and/or your feelings). IOW, chose to trust Him and to take Him at His word, no matter what your feelings (and/or Satan) are telling you in the moment :preach:

Remember too that when you choose to trust Him/take Him at His word (in spite of your feelings), you both please and honor Him by doing so :oldthumbsup:

This is tough to do (at least, it was for me), especially at first, because it will take time and practice to break the habit that you've established (the habit of listening to/believing your feelings and/or Satan's deceptions and lies, rather than choosing to believe what you know is true about God's great love for you and His promises to you, and then trusting Him exclusively by always choosing to take Him at His word, like Abraham did .. e.g. Romans 4:20-21).

WOW, this has ended up being a much longer reply than I intended. Very sorry about that :doh:

God bless you! (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)

--David
p.s. - another thing that helped me with this problem was reading a little book (a collection of short stories actually) by C. S. Lewis called, The Screwtape Letters. It's fiction, of course, and it's an odd Christian classic (because Lewis wrote it from the demons POV), but it will help you get a much better understanding of how they operate in your life, as well how to more quickly recognize their attacks for exactly what they are :oldthumbsup:

You can read the book for free online here, or you can buy the 50th Anniversary edition here, which I recommend doing (if you don't mind spending a little $$ for it) as it comes with a lot of very interesting and very helpful extras, both by Lewis and by others.

BTW, it is a very good read

quote-my-hope-lives-not-because-i-am-not-a-sinner-but-because-i-am-a-sinner-for-whom-christ-charles-spurgeon-57-36-33.jpg

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf,
so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
2 Corinthians 5:21

.

royal priest · Feb 16, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Pretty familiar. It’s still hard to internalize sometimes.

That reality of Christ's work and what He accomplished for His people is the answer to your fear of condemnation.
But, unless you apply this reality to your relationship with God, and to your understanding of how we are accepted by God, you will continue in the futility of legalism.
St. Worm put it all very well in post #8

Duke of Stratford · Feb 17, 2020

St_Worm2 said:
Hey Blaire, WELCOME TO CF I'm glad that you found us and joined in the discussions

As for what you are going through right now, the feelings that you are having about the faith, it happens to all of us to varying degrees, so know that you are hardly alone in your struggles. When feelings or thoughts like you are having start coming my way, I've learned to rebuke them (in a sense) by taking them "captive" .. 2 Corinthians 10:5, and then I hand them over to Jesus to deal with instead (and I ask for forgiveness whenever I need to, of course, whenever I sense the HS convicting me).

I've also learned to take myself to the foot of the Cross again, because it is nearly impossible to forget how much the He loves me and to what lengths He went to secure me as one of His very own from that particular vantage point

It also helps me to remember that He knows the end of all things from the beginning .. Isaiah 46:9-10, including my entire life, which tells me that there is nothing that I will ever do, good or bad, that will be a surprise to Him. So, whenever you start feeling anxious, or you begin to doubt His love for you, remember how long He has loved you (from everlasting .. Jeremiah 31:3) and that He saved you knowing ~exactly~ who and what He was getting when He did

Question, along with legalism (which can be very problematic), have you considered the enemy's involvement in your struggles as well? Whenever I hear Christians mention that they are having feelings of anxiety, doubt, unworthiness, insecurity and/or condemnation, it's the enemy who comes to mind first (because our "feelings" are the devil's playground, so to speak). Listening to our feelings can both amplify the enemy's voice, and all but drown out the Lord's at the same time.

So, what to do.

1. First and foremost, go to the foot of the Cross and remember all that God did for you there, that He loves you so much that He chose to die for you (so that you wouldn't have to live out eternity without Him, nor He without you ).
2. Then, armed with the knowledge of how much He loves you, take the thoughts/feelings that you have of doubt, unworthiness and condemnation "captive", again and again and again as needed, until the devil finally flees from you .. e.g. James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8-9 cf Ephesians 6:10-17.
3. Make a conscious effort to always listen to God's voice, rather than Satan's (and/or your feelings). IOW, chose to trust Him and to take Him at His word, no matter what your feelings (and/or Satan) are telling you in the moment Remember too that when you choose to trust Him/take Him at His word (in spite of your feelings), you both please and honor Him by doing so

This is tough to do (at least, it was for me), especially at first, because it will take time and practice to break the habit that you've established (the habit of listening to/believing your feelings and/or Satan's deceptions and lies, rather than choosing to believe what you know is true about God's great love for you and His promises to you, and then trusting Him exclusively by always choosing to take Him at His word, like Abraham did .. e.g. Romans 4:20-21).

WOW, this has ended up being a much longer reply than I intended. Very sorry about that

God bless you! (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)

--David
p.s. - another thing that helped me with this problem was reading a little book (a collection of short stories actually) by C. S. Lewis called, The Screwtape Letters. It's fiction, of course, and it's an odd Christian classic (because Lewis wrote it from the demons POV), but it will help you get a much better understanding of how they operate in your life, as well how to more quickly recognize their attacks for exactly what they are

You can read the book for free online here, or you can buy the 50th Anniversary edition here, which I recommend doing (if you don't mind spending a little $$ for it) as it comes with a lot of very interesting and very helpful extras, both by Lewis and by others.

BTW, it is a very good read

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf,
so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
2 Corinthians 5:21
.

Hi, David,

First of all, no worries about the long response! It’s very much appreciated.

I’ve been advised that a lot of what’s happening could very well be spiritual warfare, and I definitely think that’s a significant part of it. I just hesitate to say how much is the enemy and how much is my own sin—because I’m very aware that I have areas that need to be fixed. For instance, I’ve been feeling like I have issues with a divided heart... it feels silly to have trouble shaking worldly desires even though it’s human nature. Part of me wants to be fully surrendered, but part of me doesn’t. Again, it’s something I pray about, but I do keep doubting my motives. Vicious cycle. It’s likely something that will come with time, but it’s scary when I think about how time isn’t guaranteed to any of us. Don’t want to stand before Him and be one of the people who never knew Him.

I love The Screwtape Letters! I’m very much a literature person; I may have to give it a re-read sometime soon. It’s books like that that help me see why Jesus spoke in parables so often. The illustration helps.

The reminder to keep looking at the Cross is something I’ll definitely try to focus on. That is always a reminder that helps.

Sorry this response is a bit ramble-y and all over the place, but that’s more or less how my thoughts have been lately.

God bless, and thank you again for the kind words.

Pavel Mosko · Feb 17, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

Thanks for listening, and I'd really appreciate some prayers.

I think most Christians have similar problems at some time. To start with yes, we are lovers of ourselves to start with, and that is an aspect that needs to be sanctified.

I do think though many of us have psychological / soul wounds that interfere with our relationship with God. There is a book, called "Faith of the Fatherless", that gives the counterpart to the atheist critique of the Judeo-Christian tradition (that all theists just want a big man in the sky to be their father etc.) that is very relevant to the topic. Our relationship with our Earthly Father or Fathers has a lot of bearing on how we relate to our heavenly father. People who have good relationships tend to be more trusting, while people with no relationship or an estranged relationship tend to have more stuff to work through.

On the legalism stand point I see things more from a stand point of learning to see life as a journey and a relationship. Some people see Christianity more from the standpoint of an Ideology (one that saves your soul, essentially Salvationism) that kind of outlook is often problematic because it tends to see the Faith as just stuff you do, and refrain from doing rather than something that actually transforms your actual thoughts, attitudes and character.

But the whole theme that Christianity is a journey of relationship, discovery is a theme that is generally lacking in much of Christianity today. Basically, unless your reading something like Pilgrim's Progress, The Way of the Pilgrim, or some life story of a monastic mystic chances are you won't hear that theme really preached on or developed at length (mentioned briefly, but not fleshed out and used as a vehicle at length for describing what the Christian life is like as a whole). But the theme, is very central to Christianity and Judeo-Christian tradition as a whole (Christians were called followers of "the way" before being called "Christians" and their are numerous examples of that metaphor in scripture when it comes to dealing with Sheep, the Children of Israel in the Wilderness and so on).

The theme however is important for dealing with many Existential topics related to the Faith. Fore example boredom and idleness can cause many spiritual problems but it is often not preached on. On our journey of life, sometimes it looks like we are going nowhere and that causes us to doubt God etc. Which can lead to even more problems. David fell into sin with Bathsheba during a time of idleness, the Golden Calf incident happened during a time like that as well etc.

Mountainmanbob · Feb 17, 2020

Welcome
Can be a rocky road but,
stay on the path that you are on
sanctification process
for most does not come easy
we have a lot of slag to be removed
each day try your (our) best to
Finish The Good Race.

We trust in Christ alone.

MB

Willing-heart · Feb 17, 2020

We love HIM (God) because HE loved us first. First you need to really know that God loves you and His love for you never changes. The greatest blessing in the Christian faith is that God never let go of His children. Here is what God wants you to know:

In Genesis 28:15, God said, “I am with you.”
In Deuteronomy 20:4, God said, “I will give you victory.”
In Psalm 149:4, God said, “I am pleased with you.”
In 1 John 3:1, God said, “I love you.”
In Jeremiah 31:34, God said, “I will forgive you.”
In Psalm 34:15, God said, “I will listen to you.”

The Father’s Heart ♡

What is Love?

Repudiating Legalism

St_Worm2 · Feb 17, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Hi, David,

First of all, no worries about the long response! It’s very much appreciated.

Hi Blaire, good to know. Thank you

Duke of Stratford said:
I’ve been advised that a lot of what’s happening could very well be spiritual warfare, and I definitely think that’s a significant part of it.

Considering the things that you mentioned in the OP that are problematic for you right now (doubt, anxiety, feelings of condemnation, etc.), I would say that there is little question about it

If there is a positive takeaway from what you're facing right now it can be found in verses like these: Romans 8:28; Hebrews 12:7-11. Also, are you part of an active ministry right now, because Satan is always there trying to disrupt anything that is having a positive effect on the Kingdom and is glorifying to God. I worked for one ministry where we regularly used the level of resistance that we were experiencing from Satan to help us determine if we were walking in God's will for us or not.

Duke of Stratford said:
I just hesitate to say how much is the enemy and how much is my own sin—

Sin is always a part of it unfortunately, because whenever we take distracting thoughts captive while they are still temptations, Satan cannot get a foothold in our lives (especially since we have the Lord's promise that he will not allow Satan to tempt us beyond what we are able to bear .. 1 Corinthians 10:13

).

Duke of Stratford said:
-because I’m very aware that I have areas that need to be fixed. For instance, I’ve been feeling like I have issues with a divided heart... it feels silly to have trouble shaking worldly desires even though it’s human nature. Part of me wants to be fully surrendered, but part of me doesn’t. Again, it’s something I pray about, but I do keep doubting my motives. Vicious cycle. It’s likely something that will come with time, but it’s scary when I think about how time isn’t guaranteed to any of us. Don’t want to stand before Him and be one of the people who never knew Him.

Considering the fact that you seem deeply concerned about the sin in your life (and are not just looking at salvation as a means of escape from God's wrath/the Lake of Fire in the age to come), I don't believe that you will ever hear those horrific words, "I never knew you"

, from Jesus.

As for needing to do battle with your old self/old nature, again, you are in very good company (Romans 6-7). Quite frankly, since we need to be commanded to set aside the old self and put on the new, day by day, we also know that walking in the Spirit will always require effort and focus on out parts, on this side of the grave anyway .. e.g. Romans 12:1, 2; Ephesians 4:22-24.

Duke of Stratford said:
I love The Screwtape Letters! I’m very much a literature person; I may have to give it a re-read sometime soon. It’s books like that that help me see why Jesus spoke in parables so often. The illustration helps.

I agree, about the use of illustrations, and about Lewis' The Screwtape Letters too. I remember what a profound effect it had on my newborn life in Christ all those years ago, because I was under attack every hour of every day it seemed, and I really didn't understand what was going on.

BTW, I figured you were a literature person as soon as I read your first post. You write VERY well :oldthumbsup:

Duke of Stratford said:
The reminder to keep looking at the Cross is something I’ll definitely try to focus on. That is always a reminder that helps. Sorry this response is a bit ramble-y and all over the place, but that’s more or less how my thoughts have been lately. God bless, and thank you again for the kind words.

A couple of other things came to mind that you might fight useful. Are you part of a ministry at church right now (or perhaps somewhere else)? If not, being active in a ministry where people are depending on you not only doing your job (whatever that is) but also depending on you spiritually, because you are a Christian, can definitely light a fire under your walk (and keep it lit). Here's something that missionary Elisabeth Elliot had to say about this (actually, I'll leave you with a couple of her quotes that I hope you will find useful),

Do you often feel like parched ground, unable to produce anything worthwhile? I do. When I am in need of refreshment, it isn't easy to think of the needs of others. But I have found that if, instead of praying for my own comfort and satisfaction, I ask the Lord to enable me to give to others, an amazing thing often happens - I find my own needs wonderfully met. Refreshment comes in ways I would never have thought of, both for others, and then, incidentally, for myself.

This hard place in which you perhaps find yourself is the very place in which God is giving you opportunity to look only to Him, to spend time in prayer, and to learn long-suffering, gentleness, meekness - in short, to learn the depths of the love that Christ Himself has poured out on all of us.

Praying for you!

Blessings to you in Christ,
David

quote-it-is-not-the-absence-of-sin-but-the-grieving-over-it-which-distinguishes-the-child-arthur-w-pink-70-74-09.jpg

Duke of Stratford · Feb 18, 2020

Thank you again for the detailed reply!

I have started attending church regularly again within the last year, and I'm trying to involve myself a little at a time. I'm also talking with a peer who could be closer to understanding where I am in life. And I do think it helps.

St_Worm2 said:
Considering the fact that you seem deeply concerned about the sin in your life (and are not just looking at salvation as a means of escape from God's wrath/the Lake of Fire in the age to come), I don't believe that you will ever hear those horrific words, "I never knew you" , from Jesus.

I still find myself having trouble with that part. I can't seem to figure out whether or not I have genuine saving faith, and it comes back to the idea of love. I have a (bad) habit of looking up Christian perspectives online, and I see things that really make me doubt that. Godly people like John MacArthur and John Piper assert that the hallmark of saving faith is complete love of God above everything else. If I'm having trouble with that, the object of my faith might be wrong. I usually feel like I'm afraid of God more than I love Him. I really have trouble loving the Word. And a lot of the time, when I worship, the words don't feel genuine.

There's always the fear that I might not have the right kind of faith, or my faith might be in the wrong (i.e., false) idea of God. And no matter how much I pray, things never end up feeling good for long. I can wake up and feel 100% assured, then terrified and in utter despair a matter of hours later. I can't FORCE a relationship with God, and I get scared that I've never had it, I've lost track of it, or I'll never get it before the time comes.

Maybe it's conviction, maybe it's the enemy, maybe it's legalism. I just don't know what to do about that.

(I don't mean to negate the kind things you've said; I just want to try to explain a little better? Thank you again for caring enough to reply.)

Dave-W · Feb 21, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Maybe it's conviction, maybe it's the enemy, maybe it's legalism. I just don't know what to do about that.

Hi and Welcome!

One of the little understood differences in the New Covenant walk of faith is being able to tell the conviction which is from the Holy Spirit with the condemnation which is from the devil.

BTW - a LOT of "spiritual warfare" is in the realm of condemnation, guilt and discouragement.

Quick lesson: The condemnation from the enemy is always "dirty." It focuses and even exaggerates how bad you are. It says that God either is very displeased or hates you. (if God really hated you, you would not still be around to think about it) It gives you no hope for the future: "You will ALWAYS be that way so just give up trying." It not only says what you did was wrong but goes on to say that YOU are wrong. It leaves you feeling terrible, stuck in the mud with no way out.

Conviction from the Holy Spirit OTOH is "clean." It acknowledges that you messed up, but gives you encouragement to do better. It says "You are better than that. Let me help you so we can work thru this together." It leaves you feeling encouraged and uplifted.

Duke of Stratford · Feb 21, 2020

Dave-W said:
Hi and Welcome!

One of the little understood differences in the New Covenant walk of faith is being able to tell the conviction which is from the Holy Spirit with the condemnation which is from the devil.

BTW - a LOT of "spiritual warfare" is in the realm of condemnation, guilt and discouragement.

Quick lesson: The condemnation from the enemy is always "dirty." It focuses and even exaggerates how bad you are. It says that God either is very displeased or hates you. (if God really hated you, you would not still be around to think about it) It gives you no hope for the future: "You will ALWAYS be that way so just give up trying." It not only says what you did was wrong but goes on to say that YOU are wrong. It leaves you feeling terrible, stuck in the mud with no way out.

Conviction from the Holy Spirit OTOH is "clean." It acknowledges that you messed up, but gives you encouragement to do better. It says "You are better than that. Let me help you so we can work thru this together." It leaves you feeling encouraged and uplifted.

I’ve looked quite a bit into conviction vs. condemnation in the last few months. And I do believe a lot of my struggles are lies from the enemy: I go from feeling great to feeling abysmal at the drop of a hat. But I do know I’m struggling with a sinful nature, and part of me struggles with genuinely wanting to reject all sin and change, to be completely holy instead of “good enough.” And “good enough” doesn’t exist.

I pray that God will give me the desire to want Him more, the desire to hate sin. But while I’m struggling with all this, I worry the prayer is somewhat disingenuous. I always come back to feeling discouraged and overwhelmed.

I’ve been told the difference between conviction and condemnation so many times, but it can be so, so hard to tell the difference.

Dave-W · Feb 21, 2020

Just keep hanging in there and don't sweat "good enough" thing. In one sense we can NEVER be good enough. But that is wny our Lord died so HIS goodness can become our own, making up the difference.

And you will come to see the difference. It takes time. Just remember what i told you and when it comes, give it that test. Is it encouraging or discouraging? You will start to be able to learn the difference.

Lord'sWarrior · Feb 21, 2020

Duke of Stratford said:
Hey, everyone--

First time posting, and I'm a bit nervous.

I was raised in a Christian household and have gone to church most of my life. Now that I'm a young adult, I've become more evaluative of my place in the faith. Lifelong struggles with anxiety and insecurity have made this somewhat difficult--lots of doubt, insecurity, and feelings of condemnation. With advice from family, pastors, and friends, I've realized that I struggle with legalism. I'm trying to accept that sanctification is a lifelong process and that I should focus on conviction, not condemnation. Easier said than done.

I want to walk in the faith without legalism, but I know that I struggle to love God wholeheartedly. I acknowledge that we all have trouble with this; after all, we all sin. But I'm often scared to spend time with Him because I struggle so much with feeling condemned, which makes me afraid that I might not really have faith at all. I struggle to love the Word, I struggle to worship, I struggle to WANT to live for His glory above my own. I pray that He'll change my heart and give me the right picture of His character, but I always worry I have mixed motives when I ask. Basically, it's just this spiral of feeling terrible about my relationship with God that I can't seem to break free of.

Is learning to love God more part of sanctification? I just keep worrying that I'll never get out of this place of fear and selfishness.

Thanks for listening, and I'd really appreciate some prayers.

Brother, I feel you. I've somehow been there. I questioned my faith or if I had any at all for several years. I had belief (and belief has power), and someday when I still was trying to "feel\understand" the gospel at an inner level, Jesus, I believe, changed my heart. This might sound crazy, I understand, and why does this thing not happen right away or to you, but hang on there and press on. Search God, not gold. Be strong and have patience. And patience applies to me and to all. Bless you!

Duke of Stratford · Feb 21, 2020

Lord'sWarrior said:
Brother, I feel you. I've somehow been there. I questioned my faith or if I had any at all for several years. I had belief (and belief has power), and someday when I still was trying to "feel\understand" the gospel at an inner level, Jesus, I believe, changed my heart. This might sound crazy, I understand, and why does this thing not happen right away or to you, but hang on there and press on. Search God, not gold. Be strong and have patience. And patience applies to me and to all. Bless you!

Thank you. It’s hard to have patience when we’re told to be ready, but I just keep holding onto that faith and praying for better understanding. And clinging to the beautiful moments when I was absolutely certain: that God is still here just as He was then. Blessings to you!

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