trouble with grief (Orthodox)

archer75

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I am having real difficulty with grief. I do not cry often, every four years or so?, but when I do it is ugly (no surprise there). But this was unprecedented. I have never cried like this, nor even seen anyone cry like this. I wondered, at least as much as my mind could work, if this was the gift of tears (or at least a temporary version). But no, I don't think so. I am very afraid for the future now.
 

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Is there something in particular that you are grieving? I think that crying is seriously underrated in our culture. I see no reason not to cry when you are joyful, when your are grieving, or when you are repentant. I don't think our Lord would have created us with the capacity to cry if He meant for us to stifle it whenever we might need the tears. That being said, if it is depression that is causing the tears, it might be good to seek help, not because the tears are bad, but because we can be carried off to a very dark place where we don't benefit from the tears but merely drown ourselves in them. God does not want us to despair, but to cleanse ourselves and to have joy in Him.
 
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archer75

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talk to your priest and a doctor if it really weirds you out.

may I ask, what makes you afraid of the future?
Afraid for my ability to function if this goes on. The last time I felt this way, I was in a fog for ten years. I don't have a week to play with, let alone a decade.
 
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archer75

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Is there something in particular that you are grieving? I think that crying is seriously underrated in our culture. I see no reason not to cry when you are joyful, when your are grieving, or when you are repentant. I don't think our Lord would have created us with the capacity to cry if He meant for us to stifle it whenever we might need the tears. That being said, if it is depression that is causing the tears, it might be good to seek help, not because the tears are bad, but because we can be carried off to a very dark place where we don't benefit from the tears but merely drown ourselves in them. God does not want us to despair, but to cleanse ourselves and to have joy in Him.

Something in particular -- probably, but too difficult to explain, even to myself.

Agree that crying is underrated.

But this feels like some kind of diseased crying. Like, it can't be normal.
 
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ArmyMatt

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Afraid for my ability to function if this goes on. The last time I felt this way, I was in a fog for ten years. I don't have a week to play with, let alone a decade.

Lord have mercy!
 
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~Anastasia~

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How are you doing?

I hesitate to share any experiences because mine could be totally unrelated. But the early stages of Lent sometimes have a profound effect upon me.

Then again, could be medical, could be life. I hope you find the source, if need be, and that everything is to your betterment.

Prayers for you.

God be with you.
 
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archer75

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How are you doing?

I hesitate to share any experiences because mine could be totally unrelated. But the early stages of Lent sometimes have a profound effect upon me.

Then again, could be medical, could be life. I hope you find the source, if need be, and that everything is to your betterment.

Prayers for you.

God be with you.
thank you. not well, but still here.
 
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Euodius

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Afraid for my ability to function if this goes on. The last time I felt this way, I was in a fog for ten years. I don't have a week to play with, let alone a decade.

Take care of yourself. Make sure you get exercise, food, social interactions, and pray (even if it is just 'Lord have mercy.') If you feel the need to isolate yourself, go outside. Don't be ashamed of your tears (even if they aren't 'the right kind.) Don't be hard on yourself if you have difficulties. Just do your best.

If you need to talk. Feel free to PM me (I may be a mess myself and lacking any advice, but I can at least listen.) I am praying for you.
 
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archer75

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Take care of yourself. Make sure you get exercise, food, social interactions, and pray (even if it is just 'Lord have mercy.') If you feel the need to isolate yourself, go outside. Don't be ashamed of your tears (even if they aren't 'the right kind.) Don't be hard on yourself if you have difficulties. Just do your best.

If you need to talk. Feel free to PM me (I may be a mess myself and lacking any advice, but I can at least listen.) I am praying for you.
thanks Eudious, and all on thread.

prayer very weak lately.

i am ashamed of my tears. i think men who aren't monastics are supposed to get "a good cry" not more than twice a decade. at this rate, i'll have to make it to 200 or so just to justify what i've already done.

it bothers me that there's no letup in life. it's just hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, pass out, and the instant you wake up, it starts hammering again.

the problem is that my best was already terrible. i don't get a "reduced" best as some kind of concession.
 
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