My life has fallen apart around me.

I too am sorry you have to deal with so much at one. All I can say is that I hope you can find peace through all this stuff. When you find everything overwhelming, by all means cast your cares on Jesus as often as you find the negative thoughts and emotions trying to take over. In a sense, you need Jesus to autopilot you through these situations. He is far more skilled and the only one that has the ability to create the positive changes that are needed. Be sure to listen to what the Holy Spirit, is trying to say and I pray you have wisdom as James says God will give liberally. As your wife is unfaithful, you are free to leave her but sometimes the errant spouse will repent. There was one woman in my church that waited ten years or so for her spouse to return. While she was not obligated anymore, she kept after this outcome and was eventually rewarded. Most would not have that patience, and I only use it as an example here as to how the Holy Spirit can individualize the outcome. Thus the guidance of god becomes so important.

Try to find solace too in Matthew 12:20 where the first part reads "A bruised reed he will not break.." In other words, while you might be pushed to the limit, you are going to make it through this. I know this might sound crazy, but I would recommend a sacrifice of praise to the Lord. Meaning, praise God through this especially when you do not feel like it.

After reading this OP, my biggest concern is for the daughter. Please seek professional help and seek help from your church if she is a believer. A spiritual foundation is so important for the depression battle. So is nutrition, exercise and social activity with people who sincerely care about her. As much as staying home is comfortable in this condition, she needs to stay active and engaged in activities she cares about. All of these things help to make a person literally have reasons to live.

Let her know how crippled with sadness and guilt you would be if she ever completed the act. Sometimes people need a reason to live, any reason can be helpful as in that moment of considering the act these reasons can pp into one's mind and deter the action. I only dwell on this because by making her feelings known she is actually stating that she has a desire to live. Do everything in your power to take this as a literal death threat and make her mental health the number one priority in your life. The people left behind are always devastated and blame themselves for not doing more. Do all you can and be at peace.

As for your wife, as devastating as this was, consider yourself lucky that in her devious actions, she never brought you back an STD and now a deceitful person is out of your life. That is always good. Forgiver her for your own sake, so your bad feelings toward her don't eat you up. Cut her loose with gratitude for your children and try not to let her get a penny or custody. She abandoned her family for what sounds like no cause other than her addiction. You don't have time to deal with the monster of addiction. She did you a favor because who was an addict for a wife. Let her go destroy her life like a typical addict and wash your hands of that harlot.

May God bless you during this trying time. Find strength in Christ's sacrifice.

As for your gay friend, he is going through his own hell. Be there for him but don't participate in his gay life. By that I mean don't go to gay parties or double dates. He is still your friend. You just may not feel as close to him as you did.

Who am I to give advice? Nobody so take it with a grain of salt and follow your conscience and you will emerge from this crisis a better person.

She's moved in with the person and wants a divorce.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like she's gone for good.

She is abandoning you and although some may disagree, I believe that you are free to move on and possibly remarry.

If it be God's will
and in His timing.

M-Bob

Praise GOD glory to JESUS! You may not FEEL it HEAR it SEE it..but we come together as on in Christ and pray agree and He will answer! We are with you praying for you.. KNOW this!
For you my brother.. it is written.. and again FOR YOU
"So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him."

And

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’"

Blade said:

Praise GOD glory to JESUS! You may not FEEL it HEAR it SEE it..but we come together as on in Christ and pray agree and He will answer! We are with you praying for you.. KNOW this!

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And that's all that's really needed here, along with him knowing that we are with him in the Lord.

John P. Alexander said:

My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

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Oh my dear Brother . I have suffered loss after repenting and it is not easy . I know the Lord will not despise a broken heart . Turn your tears to him as I know you do . Continue to pray for your wife ...If your children are believers , gather with them to call out to the Lord together in brokeness . Get your other christian brothers to pray with you because your loss is also our loss for we are one body .

John P. Alexander said:

My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

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1 Peter 5:7
New Living Translation
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Please focus on your daughter, be close to her, encourage her, pray for her and with her.

We often go through very difficult times that seem impossible ... with His strength we are able to endure them.

May our Lord heal your broken spirit and lift you up during difficult times. May you receive his calming presence. AMEN

Sending prayers your way.

Christ suffered injustice in his time here on Earth. He knows what's it's like to have life fall apart, have loved ones stab him in the back, and find himself among sinners (the latter of whom includes all of us and is the reason for his sacrifice). Not that any of this is new to you, but it's worth mentioning. Although the situation is unfortunate, you're in good company.

John P. Alexander said:

My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

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I have no sweet reply for you I'm afraid. I suggest you reread Job and that it brings you some comfort to know and to be reminded that we are destined for these sorrows. Also...
Psalm 71:20-21:
Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
and comfort me once more.

John P. Alexander said:

My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

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I feel your pain. In 2006 I had the same thing happen to me after 17 years of marriage.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

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The first thing I did was get my then 14 and 4 year old boys into counseling, and myself as well. Do it. Don't wait.

I also found that in my grief it was easy to neglect the needs of the kids (unintentionally, of course), and I had to work hard to focus on them and be there for them. It helps if you have other family close by. I spent a lot of time with my parents, for example. Mostly just to be around people because being at home was extremely lonely and a constant reminder.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

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I know those feelings so well. In a small way it helped me to know that there were others out there that had or were going through similar things. In my case it strengthened my faith, hopefully it will do the same for you. You will get through it.

And don't let those who question your part in things get you down. In retrospect you will recall all sorts of things you could perhaps have done differently, but ultimately she made her own choices and that's 100% on her.

Thankfully our faith and our God is not consumed by circumstances. Our daughter was called home to be with the Lord when she was quite young. She was born with a very rare genetic disorder and therefor her life was drastically shortened. Her life was fraught with issues and the disorder was such that it was a regressive life in all aspects. It was difficult for our family but in it we never lost faith. God was her God. The truth, unfortunate as it may be, is that we are all born to die with the exception of those alive when Christ returns. Don't lose faith. We all face circumstances which can overwhelm us. But God is not hampered by our circumstances. God moves in our circumstances and our walk with Him can be strengthened because of the circumstances. As Job was tried in his circumstances he remained faithful to God even as those around him attempted to have him turn from God. Stand fast in the faith my brother in Christ.