My life has fallen apart around me.

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My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.
 

Ricky M

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John 12:25

Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

John 15:19

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

James 4:4

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 John 2:15

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

1 Corinthians 4:11

Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling place; 12 And labor, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it: 13 Being defamed, we entreat: we are made as the filth of the world, and are the off scouring of all things unto this day. 14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you."

Matthew 5:3

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Luke 6:20

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. 21 Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. 22 Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. 23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. 24 “But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. 25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. 26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.

2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Matthew 10:22

You will be hated by everyone because of Me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Philippians 1:21

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith

1 Thessalonians 3:7

Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. 8 For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord.
 
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OldWiseGuy

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My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

Prayers and sympathy brother. Hang in there.
 
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dzheremi

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Lord have mercy! What a lot of confusing, hurtful, worrying things you are dealing with! May God strengthen you and sustain you, and point a way forward from this terrible destruction, and especially help your daughter with her suicidal feelings.
 
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A_Thinker

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My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.
Try to hang on ... and to find a direction to move forward into.

Let this Spring be a springboard for you ...
 
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Dave G.

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The only way forward is in Christ, turning to Him and being a lamp in the darkness. Don't fail the test of faith, the more this comes at you the more you lean on Him. The Holy Spirit will be your guide, with His help I'd address your daughters needs first and foremost. Keep the wife in prayer.
 
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Tigger45

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Prayers brother :pray:

Although we currently live in a fallen world, it is temporary and the Saviour is with us on both sides of the veil.
 
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paul1149

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John, I pray that you feel and abide in the Lord's comfort, the peace that passes understanding, and protection from the storm. And that you will begin to get clarity on what's going on and how best to deal with it. I pray the same for your children also, and that your wife will receive the correction she needs, leading to life.
 
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JM

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John, seek the council of your Pastor and take his advice. It is important to stay the course, remain faithful to Christ and obey your Elders. Don't allow CF to distract you from that.

Yours in the Lord,

jm
 
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Why? Change what?

I didn't see such a sign anywhere, let alone "all" of them.



You do realize his wife left him?


John, I wasn't sure what you meant by the following.



I assume you are talking about her affair, but I didn't understand the "she's all in on it".

I'm very sorry, that's a lot to have to deal with at once. I'm hoping this is your darkest hour and things only get brighter from here on out.
[/QUOTE]
She's moved in with the person and wants a divorce.
 
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I'm confused because I and nobody else in our lives saw this coming, not even her own mother or best friend. She was silent about everything and went on as normal for however long she was having the affair up until she left me and abandoned the family one night before Christmas. It's a very confusing time. God definitely didn't call you to be a therapist.
 
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Kenny'sID

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I'm confused because I and nobody else in our lives saw this coming, not even her own mother or best friend. She was silent about everything and went on as normal for however long she was having the affair up until she left me and abandoned the family one night before Christmas. It's a very confusing time. .

Knowing that was going on for however long, makes it even more stunning. Not saying you are wishing any ill will upon her, but I'd guess this is one of those things that will eventually cost both her and the other man in the here and now.

And if they don't make the right moves, it could cost then forever.
 
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dzheremi

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Maybe some people are taking 'Christian Advice' in a bad way in this thread...?

Let's try to uplift and support our friend John P. Alexander in this time of pain and hurt, okay? I don't mean to sound like a cheesy hippie or schoolmarm or anything, but I don't think it's at all appropriate to try to find fault with the OP for his wife getting into drugs and shacking up with a drug dealer. No doubt she has her reasons for beginning an affair (which are really none of our business), but there is nothing reasonable about drugs and the actions of the drug-addled brain. I've seen it up close in my own family, where the drugs become the only real focus or goal or thing worthy of protection or whatever (all these things that should be directed to the family itself, the marriage, etc.), to the point where people will steal, lie, threaten, and destroy all of their familial relationships, because the drugs really are most important to them. It's horrible.

Anyway, I am reminded of the Psalms (the many in which the Psalmist is brought low, and crying for relief and help), particularly Psalm 57 (56), which reads in part "I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster has passed." This sounds like a message that may resonate with people in these kinds of circumstances. I know I have prayed it a lot myself, and not just because it's part of the sixth hour of the Apgeya.


Again, Lord have mercy!
 
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nolidad

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My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

Dear John:

I am so so sorry for the losses and heartbreaks you are bearing right now. I can only imagine the level of loss and sorrow you are struggling with.

There are many standard Bible verses that I could throw at you and probably many others have already, so I will spare you. I will remind you though of what King David wrote:

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me". The sorrow and confusion are normal. But take heart for God is in the midst of our sorrows and heartbreak.

As to your wife- over 20 years ago my wife walked out on me and our three children. She wanted nothing more to do with Jesus or me. You can and will get through this in the Lord! Focus on your kids and do all you can to help your daughter as I am sure you are seeking to do. YOur love and care and reminding her of how precious she is both to the Lord and you may help save the day!

As for your friend. If he claims to be a follower, you must break fellowship with him though you care deeply for him. If he is not, keep loving him and pray for him, who knows if the Lord in you will not deliver him and save him.

My prayers will go out for you.
 
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Lost4words

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I'm confused because I and nobody else in our lives saw this coming, not even her own mother or best friend. She was silent about everything and went on as normal for however long she was having the affair up until she left me and abandoned the family one night before Christmas. It's a very confusing time. God definitely didn't call you to be a therapist.

It must be an extremely stressful time for you my friend.

I am sure that God is close to you and helping you in ways that are maybe not so apparent.

I am sure your number one priority is your children. They need you. I guess they are all over the place too.

Stay strong my friend. Keep close to God.

May God bless you and help guide you to peace and happiness
 
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Bruce Leiter

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My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.

I fully sympathize with you! You can't do anything about your wife except pray for her and think what you might have done to contribute to her behavior.

Get psychological help for your daughter with a good therapist because she desperately needs help. Again, pray.

Keep showing unconditional love to your friend while rejecting his lifestyle as a sinner. Love the sinner while rejecting the sin.

Those are devastating blows. Read the books of Job and Psalms, since Satan is attacking you. You're on my daily prayer list.
 
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NW82

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John 12:25

Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

John 15:19

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

James 4:4

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 John 2:15

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

1 Corinthians 4:11

Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling place; 12 And labor, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it: 13 Being defamed, we entreat: we are made as the filth of the world, and are the off scouring of all things unto this day. 14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you."

Matthew 5:3

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Luke 6:20

“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. 21 Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. 22 Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. 23 “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets. 24 “But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. 25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. 26 Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.

2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Matthew 10:22

You will be hated by everyone because of Me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Philippians 1:21

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith

1 Thessalonians 3:7

Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. 8 For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord.
I know EXACTLY what this brother is feeling and ONLY quoting scripture, without any insight or words doesn't help. Sadly I'm still in the same situation, 10-11 years on so I have no advice, but you may wish to reconsider just quoting scripture to someone in that much pain.
 
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Mark Quayle

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My wife left me a week before Christmas. Since then she's been cold and she hardly sees our children. It was an affair, I guess, and she's all in on it despite what anyone says to her.

In January I learned that my preteen daughter is suicidal. She sent my brother videos detailing what's going on in her life, how she feels, and how she doesn't want to live sometimes.

Last night my best friend since childhood came out as being gay to me. I never would have known. This isn't going to have an impact on our friendship, but I now have to wrestle with that being a conservative, traditional Christian.

I'm heartbroken and destroyed, and very, very confused.
Not that it's news to you that you aren't the only one, but you can count on it that this life is not for this life, and God knows what he is doing. He is putting you through the wringer to work on you --and nothing is better than that in the end.

I expect I'm not the only one who will be praying for you, and for those you care about.
 
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