"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him."
And how is it that you believe you will suffer? This has little to do with material desires.......for His people are never forsaken or seen begging for bread.
For me....I suffer when I see heaven offered to people and they refuse it.... to, instead, suffer needlessly......like yourself
"In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,"
And how do you expect this persecution to look like? If God gives you one million dollars.....and the church looks down on you for it and call you a worshiper of mammon, because of what God gave you.....would this not be persecution....for righteousness sake?
Would you say that you would never want God to give you any money to avoid this persecution?
As for me, I reckon that the glory to be revealed will be entirely inadequate compared to the sufferings of the present time.
I reckon that suffering you have, you may be bringing on yourself.....and It has nothing to do with serving God.
"4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance;"
It is very unlikely that one who has experienced Life.....would turn back and choose death, instead.
However on who have only heard of life....yet never experienced it......can decide to stay in death.
I believe you may have it backwards.