The Excuse Game

I would but they've all gone for a Burton. Seems to be the way of things with dukes these days.

Catch a falling star. I need one for my rockery.

Elton John's hard to get ahold of by mere peons like me.

Stay fit

*stands up, then sits down* All good here.

Trim the hedge for us, will ya? Appreciate it.

No. Good fences make good neighbours. Keep the hedge as thick ascan be.

Help me dig a moat to keep my neighbours good ones.

This is one reason they had the Protestant Reformation. Digging is work, and works will not make anyone good in the sight of God. Do we really have to rehash this here?

Holla back.

I've never been to Holland and back. You might have to rephrase what you mean.

Come build me a new house.

Mom and dad grounded me. I have to stay here.

Come stargazing with me.

bad company's shooting star is too old of a song.


explain the birds and the bees

What's to explain? They both fly, I guess?

Please, keep everyone far away from me. I'm not into relations.

Sorry, if I have to consider both you and them, you automatically stand in some relation to each other.

Why are you still here? There is work to be done.

sorry just plain beat since middle of night








revised- morning now
can you fix my hair?
just woke, looked in mirror, and scared myself

Sorry, but all I have are electric shears.. that work?

I need a drink with lots of caffeine!

I hear caffeine is really bad for you, you really should just stick with water.

Could someone come scrub my bathroom from top to bottom?

Heck no... I don't do bathrooms on Tuesdays.

How about somebody come fix my computer though?

If you can't scrub my bathroom, I most certainly cannot fix your computer!

My wood stove needs to be emptied, is there a quick and easy way to get this done?

Sure, it’s quick and easy for me if you do it.

Distract my dog, I’m busy.

The bartender put to much salt on it. Plus I can't justify paying 5 dollars for an alcoholic beverage.

Eat them there biscuits.

I’m too confused by your saline-ary comment to eat anything.

pass me the remote

Judge Judy isn't allowed on the tele here. Sorry

Find something else to do with your time.

Like what? I can’t think of anything. What do I do now?

Rifle through my confusion and put it into Davy system order.