So I just became a registered nurse in July. I started working my first nursing job at a special needs residential center. I care for pediatric patients who have complex medical issues and require things such as medications and feedings through a gastrointestinal tube.
Being new in the field, naturally I want to soak up a lot of new things. I really want to grow and expand. This job unfortunately is very routine with very limited growth and I am not learning new skills for the most part. Most of the duties they do not even need a registered nurse for anyway - an LPN could do just fine. It's also a lot of secretarial work and I really signed up to be a nurse; not to mention, it's very much behind the times and they chart on paper so I'm not really learning much for information systems technology. The shifts are 12 hours, which I also find to be very unnecessary for this place. Hours go by of nothing to do. I find myself watching the clock. I do silly things to stay awake and occupied sometimes, like doodling on a post-it note. There is a no cell phone policy and we cannot spend time on "personal work" during work hours.
I have come to be depressed and dread going to work. I started applying for other positions and really, in my circumstance I don't even *have* to work, but I am wondering if it's God's will for me to be here. I've always struggled with knowing what the will of God is and have a really difficult time making decisions. Because this job drains me and leaves me feeling burned out, I feel I must be having a bad attitude and my heart must be in the wrong place. I really, really don't want to stay, but I also don't want to be rebellious and have a hardened heart to what God might be wanting me to do. I was reading Christian words online about staying at a boring job with routine tasks beneath your education level because maybe God wants to use you there. One story I read was a woman in a job like that, but she changed her attitude and was therefore able to be a witness to her coworkers and bring glory to God. This leaves me feeling so much guilt - that wanting/planning to leave is hindering me from doing what God wants me to do and only putting my desires first. God wants us to be content in all things, so does that mean I should be content here and not strongly desire to leave?
I know that ultimately happiness comes from Jesus. No job, money, dream, etc. will be able to supply us with the joy that Jesus gives. Things in this world might make us happy a little bit, and God does want to bless us with things that are nice, but the source of the joy is Him. I know the grass isn't always greener and that a different job will most likely have it's own set of stresses. I just know I can't mentally handle staying at a job that makes me feel like I'm sitting at the DMV for hours and where I count down the minutes until I get to complete my next task.
How do I know when dicontentment is a sin? How do I know what God's will is and if I am being disobedient for wanting out?
To have a career in nursing makes this issue so much more difficult. I wouldn't feel as guilty if say, I wanted to leave a position in finance. Wanting to leave a nursing job makes me feel like I must not be caring or loving enough and that these people need me and I'm being cold-hearted.
I'm really struggling here and I would appreciate serious advice. Thank you and God bless!
Being new in the field, naturally I want to soak up a lot of new things. I really want to grow and expand. This job unfortunately is very routine with very limited growth and I am not learning new skills for the most part. Most of the duties they do not even need a registered nurse for anyway - an LPN could do just fine. It's also a lot of secretarial work and I really signed up to be a nurse; not to mention, it's very much behind the times and they chart on paper so I'm not really learning much for information systems technology. The shifts are 12 hours, which I also find to be very unnecessary for this place. Hours go by of nothing to do. I find myself watching the clock. I do silly things to stay awake and occupied sometimes, like doodling on a post-it note. There is a no cell phone policy and we cannot spend time on "personal work" during work hours.
I have come to be depressed and dread going to work. I started applying for other positions and really, in my circumstance I don't even *have* to work, but I am wondering if it's God's will for me to be here. I've always struggled with knowing what the will of God is and have a really difficult time making decisions. Because this job drains me and leaves me feeling burned out, I feel I must be having a bad attitude and my heart must be in the wrong place. I really, really don't want to stay, but I also don't want to be rebellious and have a hardened heart to what God might be wanting me to do. I was reading Christian words online about staying at a boring job with routine tasks beneath your education level because maybe God wants to use you there. One story I read was a woman in a job like that, but she changed her attitude and was therefore able to be a witness to her coworkers and bring glory to God. This leaves me feeling so much guilt - that wanting/planning to leave is hindering me from doing what God wants me to do and only putting my desires first. God wants us to be content in all things, so does that mean I should be content here and not strongly desire to leave?
I know that ultimately happiness comes from Jesus. No job, money, dream, etc. will be able to supply us with the joy that Jesus gives. Things in this world might make us happy a little bit, and God does want to bless us with things that are nice, but the source of the joy is Him. I know the grass isn't always greener and that a different job will most likely have it's own set of stresses. I just know I can't mentally handle staying at a job that makes me feel like I'm sitting at the DMV for hours and where I count down the minutes until I get to complete my next task.
How do I know when dicontentment is a sin? How do I know what God's will is and if I am being disobedient for wanting out?
To have a career in nursing makes this issue so much more difficult. I wouldn't feel as guilty if say, I wanted to leave a position in finance. Wanting to leave a nursing job makes me feel like I must not be caring or loving enough and that these people need me and I'm being cold-hearted.
I'm really struggling here and I would appreciate serious advice. Thank you and God bless!