Can anyone share some advice?

Whisperfan

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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?) The second problem came from a story he told regarding money. Long story short, my pastor was working with an organization he thought would be donating money to aid in churches after 9/11. Ultimately the news came out that this same agency was using a video with his name , proclaiming the church was desperate for viewer's money and it wasn't for local aid . The pastor did not originally know about this and did mention being irritated by it but still took the money anyways. Was this the right thing to do even if it was in his name? Please let me know what answers would biblical back up both situations. Thanks for any response and God bless everyone reading this ^_^
 
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Aussie Pete

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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?) The second problem came from a story he told regarding money. Long story short, my pastor was working with an organization he thought would be donating money to aid in an terrorist attack that had recently hit the city. Ultimately the news came out that this same agency was using a video with his name , proclaiming the church was desperate for viewer's money and it wasn't for local aid . The pastor did not originally know about this and did mention being irritated by it but still took the money anyways. Was this the right thing to do even if it was in his name? Please let me know what answers would biblical back up both situations. Thanks for any response and God bless everyone reading this ^_^
When God forgives, He forgets. We need to do the same. It's not that we have a complete mental block, but we should be able to deal with the individual as if they had never offended us. For some good help with this vexed issue, I suggest you read this article: Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston

I can't answer the second part of your question.
 
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Hazelelponi

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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?) The second problem came from a story he told regarding money. Long story short, my pastor was working with an organization he thought would be donating money to aid in an terrorist attack that had recently hit the city. Ultimately the news came out that this same agency was using a video with his name , proclaiming the church was desperate for viewer's money and it wasn't for local aid . The pastor did not originally know about this and did mention being irritated by it but still took the money anyways. Was this the right thing to do even if it was in his name? Please let me know what answers would biblical back up both situations. Thanks for any response and God bless everyone reading this ^_^

I've dealt with really needing to forgive in an unforgivable (by the world's standards) situation.

And I will say no, you don't actually "forget", who can forget large chunks of your life that were life altering? You really can't.

But, what you do is to not hold it against the person in an absolute way. You end all feelings of animosity toward those who hurt you. It's major, for real. And I think impossible without God, but in Christ it's very possible to forgive, but I don't think it can entail actually forgetting... (for me it would entail forgetting what made me who I am today, and you just can't forget such life changing, life altering events)

If you did large chunks of your life would be missing, and is a silly concept. But you do separate all animosity toward them from your heart, and remove those feelings of ill will. You obtain the ability to truthfully and honestly pray for them, wishing for them what you would wish for yourself...

And that is true forgiveness.
 
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Pavel Mosko

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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?) The second problem came from a story he told regarding money. Long story short, my pastor was working with an organization he thought would be donating money to aid in an terrorist attack that had recently hit the city. Ultimately the news came out that this same agency was using a video with his name , proclaiming the church was desperate for viewer's money and it wasn't for local aid . The pastor did not originally know about this and did mention being irritated by it but still took the money anyways. Was this the right thing to do even if it was in his name? Please let me know what answers would biblical back up both situations. Thanks for any response and God bless everyone reading this ^_^


I do not believe in the "forgive and forget" message that is popularly preached. Not only is it unrealistic but not even something that is seen in the Bible... This sermon covers that.


 
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Of the Kingdom

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Hi, Whisperfan. I will respond to your second issue first.

You should be concerned if you feel your church is building a kingdom for itself instead of for God. It sounded like the ad was accusing the church of putting money first, but perhaps they were appealing to people to aid the church instead of the specific program the money was to be used for. In any case, there appears to be a conflict between the way your pastor describes the situation and what the ad suggests.

My first thought is this incident is not something you should be concerned about. It is about your church. Pray for them, that neither poor money management nor false accusations will deter them from their commitment to God's kingdom. If there are other issues that concern you, and after prayer the Holy Spirit seems to be encouraging you to act, then consider raising the issue with church leadership again, and/or seeking a more spiritual congregation to worship with.

God says our sins are removed "as far as the East is from the West". When the bible talks about sins being forgotten as well as forgiven, it seems to be slightly metaphorical. Presumably God is still able to know the past, and we should be too. To "forget" means at least that we don't bring up the past. Let the scars heal, look to the future. It doesn't mean (in my opinion) that we will immediately trust the person who has been untrustworthy in the past.

May God bless you in your walk with the Lord, and may your inquiring mind continue to seek greater understanding.
 
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com7fy8

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I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?
I understand that even if we forgive someone, still we need to test if and how the person should be trusted. So, yes we do need to remember, but so we pray for the person and keep track of how the person is doing so we don't get fooled into trusting him or her and then cooperating with the wrong the person is doing.
 
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Josheb

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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?) The second problem came from a story he told regarding money. Long story short, my pastor was working with an organization he thought would be donating money to aid in churches after 9/11. Ultimately the news came out that this same agency was using a video with his name , proclaiming the church was desperate for viewer's money and it wasn't for local aid . The pastor did not originally know about this and did mention being irritated by it but still took the money anyways. Was this the right thing to do even if it was in his name? Please let me know what answers would biblical back up both situations. Thanks for any response and God bless everyone reading this ^_^
I don't know about Matthew 18 as a basis for "forgiving and forgetting," but Proverbs 19:11 states, "A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression." so before any believer acts to practice Matthew 5 or 18's directives it is incumbent upon him/her to first ask, "Is this an offense I should overlook?"

That's practical application.

More fundamentally, we should understand we are not God. Sounds obvious but lots of folks think we should act like God in all ways. That's not true. We're not God, we're not Jesus, and we're not the apostles. Some of the rules are different for the sheep that they are for the shepherd, and different for the land, sheep, and shepherd Owner.

God forgives and forgets.

We should often times forgive and remember cognitively. Ultimately, because of the way God designed us, it is impossible to truly forgive and forget because every experience we have gets recorded in memory, encoded in the cells of our brain, and through the process of mitosis eventually every single cell in our body has a record of our experience, especially the worst of offenses.

So a better standard is to forgive and then cancel the debt seeking restoration of the relationship where warranted. Debt canceling is not the same as forgetting. We don't let embezzlers, adulterers, and rapists have stewardship again over those they've abused. Neither do we act vengefully where we are called to act in love. God's jurisprudence is rehabilitative and reconciling, not retributional and vindictive. See Romans 12:9-21 for example.

Besides, forgiveness is not the goal; reconciliation is the goal. Folks who stop at forgiveness and not reconciliation have stopped one step short of the goal. If God had forgiven you and not reconciled you you'd still be living in enmity. God does both when He saves. There are prescribed limits for those of us who are not God.
 
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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?) The second problem came from a story he told regarding money. Long story short, my pastor was working with an organization he thought would be donating money to aid in churches after 9/11. Ultimately the news came out that this same agency was using a video with his name , proclaiming the church was desperate for viewer's money and it wasn't for local aid . The pastor did not originally know about this and did mention being irritated by it but still took the money anyways. Was this the right thing to do even if it was in his name? Please let me know what answers would biblical back up both situations. Thanks for any response and God bless everyone reading this ^_^

We have to forgive, or we will not be forgiven (Matthew 6:15).
As for forgetting: Well, if one is going to act like the person is not going to cause problems for their life if they associate with the kind of person who is doing sinful things is setting themselves up for unnecessary destruction or harm. Imagine if a Christian man who lived during World War 2 was hurt in the fact that their family was killed by Hitler. Should this Christian forgive Hitler? Yes, most definitely. Should he forget? Well, he should forget in the sense in moving on with his life, but he should not forget about the kind of man Hitler was. If the Christian ignored that Hitler could potentially kill him, then he could no longer preach the gospel, help the poor, and pray for his enemies.

As for the people who took money from your Pastor: Well, you should forgive these people, but I would not associate with them. I would pray for them and do good to them if the opportunity had arisen. But I would not hang out with them or anything. For they were wrong for what they did. Move on, and simply pray for them that they might change and give the money back someday.
 
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AvgJoe

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Hello everyone :clap: . So I was just hoping to answer a couple questions a recent sermon at my church left this past weekend. With that being said, there were two major comments that seemed controversial. The first issue lies in the pastor using Matthew 18:22 to justify the concept of forgiving and forgetting. (Don't get me wrong, I 100% agree with forgiving for your own sake, the other's and following God's word but is forgetting really apart of that?)

Question: "Does the Bible instruct us to forgive and forget?"

Answer:
The phrase “forgive and forget” is not found in the Bible. However, there are numerous verses commanding us to “forgive one another” (e.g., Matthew 6:14 and Ephesians 4:32). A Christian who is not willing to forgive others will find his fellowship with God hindered (Matthew 6:15) and can reap bitterness and the loss of reward (Hebrews 12:14–15; 2 John 1:8).

Forgiveness is a decision of the will. Since God commands us to forgive, we must make a conscious choice to obey God and forgive. The offender may not desire forgiveness and may not ever change, but that doesn’t negate God’s desire that we possess a forgiving spirit (Matthew 5:44). Ideally, the offender will seek reconciliation, but, if not, the one wronged can still make a decision to forgive.

Of course, it is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively “delete” events from our memory. The Bible states that God does not “remember” our wickedness (Hebrews 8:12). But God is still all-knowing. God remembers that we have “sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). But, having been forgiven, we are positionally (or judicially) justified. Heaven is ours, as if our sin had never occurred. If we belong to Him through faith in Christ, God does not condemn us for our sins (Romans 8:1). In that sense God “forgives and forgets.”

If by “forgive and forget” one means, “I choose to forgive the offender for the sake of Christ and move on with my life,” then this is a wise and godly course of action. As much as possible, we should forget what is behind and strive toward what is ahead (Philippians 3:13). We should forgive each other “just as in Christ God forgave” (Ephesians 4:32). We must not allow a root of bitterness to spring up in our hearts (Hebrews 12:15).

However, if by “forgive and forget” one means, “I will act as if the sin had never occurred and live as if I don’t remember it,” then we can run into trouble. For example, a rape victim can choose to forgive the rapist, but that does not mean she should act as if that sin had never happened. To spend time alone with the rapist, especially if he is unrepentant, is not what Scripture teaches. Forgiveness involves not holding a sin against a person any longer, but forgiveness is different from trust. It is wise to take precautions, and sometimes the dynamics of a relationship will have to change. “The prudent see danger and take refuge, / but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” (Proverbs 22:3). Jesus told His followers to “be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). In the context of keeping company with unrepentant sinners, we must be “innocent” (willing to forgive) yet at the same time “shrewd” (being cautious).

The ideal is to forgive and forget. Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5) and covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). However, changing hearts is God’s business, and, until an offender has a true, supernatural heart change, it is only wise to limit the level of trust one places in that person. Being cautious doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven. It simply means we are not God and we cannot see that person’s heart.

www.gotquestions.org/forgive-forget.html
 
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