Hi, I come to these forums in great distress and social ruin.
I've been to a few Christian gatherings and church services recently, and nobody was talking to me, at all. I am not noticed nor approached by anyone even though I do everything I can to be friendly. But I got screwed socially and spiritually several years ago in my 20s. I was cheated on at the time by a girlfriend who called herself by God's name. Soon after the bitter breakup, things got extremely controversial between me and most other Christians at university. These friendship and relationship problems lasted nearly two years. There was verbal violence, arguments and shouting matches. I was blamed for everything. I have since repented and apologized, others have done the same, but the social and spiritual scene have never been the same since.
I'm very shy around Christians now. I have a hard time trusting Christians. I haven't dated since about the end of those controversies. I felt hated by Christians during those dark times, and I feel hated by them today because I'm hardly ever invited for social events. I sometimes have to force my way in, and once in, there always has to be something wrong enough with me for others to avoid me. Such a shame that I offer much good but others instead look at me for who I used to be. I feel unforgiven, and I feel like permanently damaged goods, and as for dating and getting married, I think I'm doomed to being alone eternally anyway. Women don't like socially blacklisted and mangled empty shelled men anyway. And as for Jesus, maybe he died for someone else, because as far as I'm concerned, Jesus is at best only an imaginary friend when real Christians shun your existence.
I hope all this changes in 2020. I'm getting sick of this spiritual and social balderdash.
I've been to a few Christian gatherings and church services recently, and nobody was talking to me, at all. I am not noticed nor approached by anyone even though I do everything I can to be friendly. But I got screwed socially and spiritually several years ago in my 20s. I was cheated on at the time by a girlfriend who called herself by God's name. Soon after the bitter breakup, things got extremely controversial between me and most other Christians at university. These friendship and relationship problems lasted nearly two years. There was verbal violence, arguments and shouting matches. I was blamed for everything. I have since repented and apologized, others have done the same, but the social and spiritual scene have never been the same since.
I'm very shy around Christians now. I have a hard time trusting Christians. I haven't dated since about the end of those controversies. I felt hated by Christians during those dark times, and I feel hated by them today because I'm hardly ever invited for social events. I sometimes have to force my way in, and once in, there always has to be something wrong enough with me for others to avoid me. Such a shame that I offer much good but others instead look at me for who I used to be. I feel unforgiven, and I feel like permanently damaged goods, and as for dating and getting married, I think I'm doomed to being alone eternally anyway. Women don't like socially blacklisted and mangled empty shelled men anyway. And as for Jesus, maybe he died for someone else, because as far as I'm concerned, Jesus is at best only an imaginary friend when real Christians shun your existence.
I hope all this changes in 2020. I'm getting sick of this spiritual and social balderdash.
