Hi, I’m in kind of a tough pickle right now regarding helping the poor and how exactly I am to go about this. This may be a long post but it’s really important.
I’m a minor, just a little bit under 18, I’m currently living away from my parents in boarding school. I have some money of my own but not a lot. I don’t have access to my bank account nor do I have a credit card.
Within the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world hunger. I follow a Christian world hunger donation/awareness page on Instagram, and I’m seeing lots of ads for related hunger charities in general. I’ve been remembering to bring it up during prayer requests at youth group. The day of, my daily bible verse (on an app) brought up gluttony. So when this person texted me out of the blue, I can’t help but feel God is calling me to help this person.
In the last few days, I’ve been receiving texts from a Christian from Africa who is struggling with lack of food, clean water, warm clothes, and education. Here is what they told me about themselves: their name, their age (early 20’s), their country (one of Africa’s poorest nations), their address, about their family, and their desired occupation.
They have sent me pictures of themselves + their siblings, a video of themselves walking, as well as a snippet of their voice.
I’m assuming he found me via my likes on Christian posts. He is also following 3 other people from my school which I found weird but two of them are Christian so i assume he found them through likes as well.
Here’s how the conversation started: He says hello and asks how I am. Knowing he’s a Christian, and that I should be kind and not push other believers away, I respond. We exchange names and where we’re from. He says he hopes we can be friends and get to know each other more (fellowship with Christian believers is important so I agree). We talk about family and Jesus, then he asks for help to get money for food. The whole conversation has been about us figuring out how to help him since then.
He wants me to give him money that he can convert to his currency through a service called Western Union. There are physical places for it in my town, so if I can’t send online I could offline- but the obstacle stands that I need to take a bus to do so and there’s no WU at the place it usually takes us to if we need to run errands (last time my friends and I asked to go somewhere other than that place, the bus forgot to pick us up and we needed to get help and obviously I don’t want to risk again).
I am aware the reality of scams, but personally, I think he’s legit. The picture/video/audio evidence (plus the really bad connection we had when trying to contact him via call with my pastor) is enough to assure me that he’s a real person from Africa at the very least. He also assures me that if I am doubting, he has proof (ID, etc) he can send to me but I told him that’s not necessary. I fact-checked the country he’s from and indeed it is one of Africa’s poorest and hungriest countries.
I’ve been trying to find ways to help that don’t involve giving money online since I can’t do that. I’ve been telling him that I can’t access my own money and I need to get outside help so it’s going to take me time. He tells me he’s tried to contact other people on Instagram (possibly elsewhere too) including charities/organizations and no one has responded to him except for me. He says the charities in his town don’t actually care and that’s why they are suffering. He doesn’t have a church.
Some ideas I have is giving my on-pocket money to a friend who can drive and letting them drive to WU for me which is currently the only way to give money directly. That, or sending a care package but I’m kind of wary because I’ve never sent a package before. He’s recommended I start a GoFundMe or another open donation but once again, not sure if that’s appropriate for me as a minor.
I talked with my pastor about this, hoping that as a church we can give some donations to this person. He again brought up potential of scam and said we’d need more information about him, which I said I have. He only told me to pray and trust that God will provide. Which is true, but the person I’m talking to seems really desperate for my help, telling me his siblings (little children) are crying of hunger. I think God is calling me to act now.
I’ve been trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about this, and I know I need to help Him somehow. I feel like telling him “Wait until I’m 18 for me to help you” is selfish and against God’s law.
Proverbs 21:13- Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.
Proverbs 3:27-28- Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.
1 John 3:17
But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
However, as some people I’ve talked to have brought up, I am also in risk of violating God’s commandment to honor my father and mother. Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.
I do not think my parents would be in support of this. Last time I asked to donate to an organization that was legit, they denied me and told me I couldn’t help everyone. (please pray for the Spirit to make their hearts generous). So, they absolutely would not let me donate to a single person.
I have considered sending this person a care package with a Bible, blankets, non-perishable food, and water bottles. However, I don’t know if this would count as disobeying my parents either as I would still be having to buy these things, ship it, and do it without their knowledge (which I’m sure they would eventually find out anyway by looking at my expenses).
I’m also watching out for my safety. He’s also been trying to pursue a friendship with me, which I’m not against, but I’m wary. I know God calls us to be loving and kind friends to everyone, ESPECIALLY the poor, and ESPECIALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ. But obviously I’m under 18 and feel like I have to walk on eggshells a little bit as to not reveal my personal information, but to be loving and trusting of Him in his true struggle at the same time. I also feel pretty bad as I don’t think my parents would approve of this, yet I don’t want to ignore the cries of the needy. (Proverbs 23:13)
He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.
I feel really bad about being wary / mistrusting of him though because in truth while I don’t know him in person, he is still a brother in Christ. God tells us we should treat other believers like spiritual family (which he is) and be kind to strangers.
Matthew 25:43- I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.
Proverbs 14:21- Those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor.
I’m scared that because I barely know him and therefore am wary of befriending him because he’s older than me, I am disobeying God’s commandment to love our neighbour. I’m also afraid that him having a bigger desire for friendship (based on the fact we share the same faith) than I do means I don’t have the holy spirit in me because otherwise I’d want to deeply be his friend too. (which I do because I believe God’s calling me to this person, but it’s only been three days with no interaction outside of texting).
I’ve been wanting to tell him “I am a minor, please find an adult” but I feel so bad, as once again, I feel this violates the Proverbs verses and as I’ve stated already he claims he is struggling to get a hold of anyone other than me. I have SOME money I can give, therefore I’m like the man in that verse. The only obstacle is that I don’t want to disobey my parents. But what’s more important in God’s eyes? Obeying my parents, or helping the needy? I’d say helping the needy but I still feel bad.
Lastly, people have brought up the concern that I can’t fact check this guy to make sure he isn’t this for malicious benefit. I really do not think he is but I understand this is a real possibility, if a small one.
I know I will be held accountable before God for everything I do here on Earth. As Matthew 25:41-45 states:
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.
I believe all of these things matter. I must obey the Lord in his commandments to serve the poor and needy. I don’t think he would have called this person into my life if He wasn’t calling me to help this man. I can’t just do nothing, lest I become hard-hearted and disobey God. And I don’t want to disobey Him either way- in regards to serving the poor OR honoring my parents.
Please pray for us guys. Pray the wellbeing of him and his siblings. Please pray that I can find a legal way to give to him that is biblical. Please give me ideas of other ways I can help him or reach out to those who can. I feel really responsible for this person and am kind of feeling worked out as a result. But I don’t want to give up on him.
I’m a minor, just a little bit under 18, I’m currently living away from my parents in boarding school. I have some money of my own but not a lot. I don’t have access to my bank account nor do I have a credit card.
Within the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world hunger. I follow a Christian world hunger donation/awareness page on Instagram, and I’m seeing lots of ads for related hunger charities in general. I’ve been remembering to bring it up during prayer requests at youth group. The day of, my daily bible verse (on an app) brought up gluttony. So when this person texted me out of the blue, I can’t help but feel God is calling me to help this person.
In the last few days, I’ve been receiving texts from a Christian from Africa who is struggling with lack of food, clean water, warm clothes, and education. Here is what they told me about themselves: their name, their age (early 20’s), their country (one of Africa’s poorest nations), their address, about their family, and their desired occupation.
They have sent me pictures of themselves + their siblings, a video of themselves walking, as well as a snippet of their voice.
I’m assuming he found me via my likes on Christian posts. He is also following 3 other people from my school which I found weird but two of them are Christian so i assume he found them through likes as well.
Here’s how the conversation started: He says hello and asks how I am. Knowing he’s a Christian, and that I should be kind and not push other believers away, I respond. We exchange names and where we’re from. He says he hopes we can be friends and get to know each other more (fellowship with Christian believers is important so I agree). We talk about family and Jesus, then he asks for help to get money for food. The whole conversation has been about us figuring out how to help him since then.
He wants me to give him money that he can convert to his currency through a service called Western Union. There are physical places for it in my town, so if I can’t send online I could offline- but the obstacle stands that I need to take a bus to do so and there’s no WU at the place it usually takes us to if we need to run errands (last time my friends and I asked to go somewhere other than that place, the bus forgot to pick us up and we needed to get help and obviously I don’t want to risk again).
I am aware the reality of scams, but personally, I think he’s legit. The picture/video/audio evidence (plus the really bad connection we had when trying to contact him via call with my pastor) is enough to assure me that he’s a real person from Africa at the very least. He also assures me that if I am doubting, he has proof (ID, etc) he can send to me but I told him that’s not necessary. I fact-checked the country he’s from and indeed it is one of Africa’s poorest and hungriest countries.
I’ve been trying to find ways to help that don’t involve giving money online since I can’t do that. I’ve been telling him that I can’t access my own money and I need to get outside help so it’s going to take me time. He tells me he’s tried to contact other people on Instagram (possibly elsewhere too) including charities/organizations and no one has responded to him except for me. He says the charities in his town don’t actually care and that’s why they are suffering. He doesn’t have a church.
Some ideas I have is giving my on-pocket money to a friend who can drive and letting them drive to WU for me which is currently the only way to give money directly. That, or sending a care package but I’m kind of wary because I’ve never sent a package before. He’s recommended I start a GoFundMe or another open donation but once again, not sure if that’s appropriate for me as a minor.
I talked with my pastor about this, hoping that as a church we can give some donations to this person. He again brought up potential of scam and said we’d need more information about him, which I said I have. He only told me to pray and trust that God will provide. Which is true, but the person I’m talking to seems really desperate for my help, telling me his siblings (little children) are crying of hunger. I think God is calling me to act now.
I’ve been trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about this, and I know I need to help Him somehow. I feel like telling him “Wait until I’m 18 for me to help you” is selfish and against God’s law.
Proverbs 21:13- Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.
Proverbs 3:27-28- Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.
1 John 3:17
But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?
However, as some people I’ve talked to have brought up, I am also in risk of violating God’s commandment to honor my father and mother. Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.
I do not think my parents would be in support of this. Last time I asked to donate to an organization that was legit, they denied me and told me I couldn’t help everyone. (please pray for the Spirit to make their hearts generous). So, they absolutely would not let me donate to a single person.
I have considered sending this person a care package with a Bible, blankets, non-perishable food, and water bottles. However, I don’t know if this would count as disobeying my parents either as I would still be having to buy these things, ship it, and do it without their knowledge (which I’m sure they would eventually find out anyway by looking at my expenses).
I’m also watching out for my safety. He’s also been trying to pursue a friendship with me, which I’m not against, but I’m wary. I know God calls us to be loving and kind friends to everyone, ESPECIALLY the poor, and ESPECIALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ. But obviously I’m under 18 and feel like I have to walk on eggshells a little bit as to not reveal my personal information, but to be loving and trusting of Him in his true struggle at the same time. I also feel pretty bad as I don’t think my parents would approve of this, yet I don’t want to ignore the cries of the needy. (Proverbs 23:13)
He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.
I feel really bad about being wary / mistrusting of him though because in truth while I don’t know him in person, he is still a brother in Christ. God tells us we should treat other believers like spiritual family (which he is) and be kind to strangers.
Matthew 25:43- I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.
Proverbs 14:21- Those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor.
I’m scared that because I barely know him and therefore am wary of befriending him because he’s older than me, I am disobeying God’s commandment to love our neighbour. I’m also afraid that him having a bigger desire for friendship (based on the fact we share the same faith) than I do means I don’t have the holy spirit in me because otherwise I’d want to deeply be his friend too. (which I do because I believe God’s calling me to this person, but it’s only been three days with no interaction outside of texting).
I’ve been wanting to tell him “I am a minor, please find an adult” but I feel so bad, as once again, I feel this violates the Proverbs verses and as I’ve stated already he claims he is struggling to get a hold of anyone other than me. I have SOME money I can give, therefore I’m like the man in that verse. The only obstacle is that I don’t want to disobey my parents. But what’s more important in God’s eyes? Obeying my parents, or helping the needy? I’d say helping the needy but I still feel bad.
Lastly, people have brought up the concern that I can’t fact check this guy to make sure he isn’t this for malicious benefit. I really do not think he is but I understand this is a real possibility, if a small one.
I know I will be held accountable before God for everything I do here on Earth. As Matthew 25:41-45 states:
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.
I believe all of these things matter. I must obey the Lord in his commandments to serve the poor and needy. I don’t think he would have called this person into my life if He wasn’t calling me to help this man. I can’t just do nothing, lest I become hard-hearted and disobey God. And I don’t want to disobey Him either way- in regards to serving the poor OR honoring my parents.
Please pray for us guys. Pray the wellbeing of him and his siblings. Please pray that I can find a legal way to give to him that is biblical. Please give me ideas of other ways I can help him or reach out to those who can. I feel really responsible for this person and am kind of feeling worked out as a result. But I don’t want to give up on him.