Status
Not open for further replies.

Sunflower Garden

Active Member
Jun 19, 2019
39
37
somewhere
✟18,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
Hi, I’m in kind of a tough pickle right now regarding helping the poor and how exactly I am to go about this. This may be a long post but it’s really important.


I’m a minor, just a little bit under 18, I’m currently living away from my parents in boarding school. I have some money of my own but not a lot. I don’t have access to my bank account nor do I have a credit card.


Within the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world hunger. I follow a Christian world hunger donation/awareness page on Instagram, and I’m seeing lots of ads for related hunger charities in general. I’ve been remembering to bring it up during prayer requests at youth group. The day of, my daily bible verse (on an app) brought up gluttony. So when this person texted me out of the blue, I can’t help but feel God is calling me to help this person.


In the last few days, I’ve been receiving texts from a Christian from Africa who is struggling with lack of food, clean water, warm clothes, and education. Here is what they told me about themselves: their name, their age (early 20’s), their country (one of Africa’s poorest nations), their address, about their family, and their desired occupation.

They have sent me pictures of themselves + their siblings, a video of themselves walking, as well as a snippet of their voice.


I’m assuming he found me via my likes on Christian posts. He is also following 3 other people from my school which I found weird but two of them are Christian so i assume he found them through likes as well.


Here’s how the conversation started: He says hello and asks how I am. Knowing he’s a Christian, and that I should be kind and not push other believers away, I respond. We exchange names and where we’re from. He says he hopes we can be friends and get to know each other more (fellowship with Christian believers is important so I agree). We talk about family and Jesus, then he asks for help to get money for food. The whole conversation has been about us figuring out how to help him since then.


He wants me to give him money that he can convert to his currency through a service called Western Union. There are physical places for it in my town, so if I can’t send online I could offline- but the obstacle stands that I need to take a bus to do so and there’s no WU at the place it usually takes us to if we need to run errands (last time my friends and I asked to go somewhere other than that place, the bus forgot to pick us up and we needed to get help and obviously I don’t want to risk again).


I am aware the reality of scams, but personally, I think he’s legit. The picture/video/audio evidence (plus the really bad connection we had when trying to contact him via call with my pastor) is enough to assure me that he’s a real person from Africa at the very least. He also assures me that if I am doubting, he has proof (ID, etc) he can send to me but I told him that’s not necessary. I fact-checked the country he’s from and indeed it is one of Africa’s poorest and hungriest countries.


I’ve been trying to find ways to help that don’t involve giving money online since I can’t do that. I’ve been telling him that I can’t access my own money and I need to get outside help so it’s going to take me time. He tells me he’s tried to contact other people on Instagram (possibly elsewhere too) including charities/organizations and no one has responded to him except for me. He says the charities in his town don’t actually care and that’s why they are suffering. He doesn’t have a church.

Some ideas I have is giving my on-pocket money to a friend who can drive and letting them drive to WU for me which is currently the only way to give money directly. That, or sending a care package but I’m kind of wary because I’ve never sent a package before. He’s recommended I start a GoFundMe or another open donation but once again, not sure if that’s appropriate for me as a minor.


I talked with my pastor about this, hoping that as a church we can give some donations to this person. He again brought up potential of scam and said we’d need more information about him, which I said I have. He only told me to pray and trust that God will provide. Which is true, but the person I’m talking to seems really desperate for my help, telling me his siblings (little children) are crying of hunger. I think God is calling me to act now.


I’ve been trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about this, and I know I need to help Him somehow. I feel like telling him “Wait until I’m 18 for me to help you” is selfish and against God’s law.

Proverbs 21:13- Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.

Proverbs 3:27-28- Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

1 John 3:17

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?



However, as some people I’ve talked to have brought up, I am also in risk of violating God’s commandment to honor my father and mother. Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.

I do not think my parents would be in support of this. Last time I asked to donate to an organization that was legit, they denied me and told me I couldn’t help everyone. (please pray for the Spirit to make their hearts generous). So, they absolutely would not let me donate to a single person.

I have considered sending this person a care package with a Bible, blankets, non-perishable food, and water bottles. However, I don’t know if this would count as disobeying my parents either as I would still be having to buy these things, ship it, and do it without their knowledge (which I’m sure they would eventually find out anyway by looking at my expenses).


I’m also watching out for my safety. He’s also been trying to pursue a friendship with me, which I’m not against, but I’m wary. I know God calls us to be loving and kind friends to everyone, ESPECIALLY the poor, and ESPECIALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ. But obviously I’m under 18 and feel like I have to walk on eggshells a little bit as to not reveal my personal information, but to be loving and trusting of Him in his true struggle at the same time. I also feel pretty bad as I don’t think my parents would approve of this, yet I don’t want to ignore the cries of the needy. (Proverbs 23:13)

He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.

I feel really bad about being wary / mistrusting of him though because in truth while I don’t know him in person, he is still a brother in Christ. God tells us we should treat other believers like spiritual family (which he is) and be kind to strangers.

Matthew 25:43- I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

Proverbs 14:21- Those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor.

I’m scared that because I barely know him and therefore am wary of befriending him because he’s older than me, I am disobeying God’s commandment to love our neighbour. I’m also afraid that him having a bigger desire for friendship (based on the fact we share the same faith) than I do means I don’t have the holy spirit in me because otherwise I’d want to deeply be his friend too. (which I do because I believe God’s calling me to this person, but it’s only been three days with no interaction outside of texting).


I’ve been wanting to tell him “I am a minor, please find an adult” but I feel so bad, as once again, I feel this violates the Proverbs verses and as I’ve stated already he claims he is struggling to get a hold of anyone other than me. I have SOME money I can give, therefore I’m like the man in that verse. The only obstacle is that I don’t want to disobey my parents. But what’s more important in God’s eyes? Obeying my parents, or helping the needy? I’d say helping the needy but I still feel bad.


Lastly, people have brought up the concern that I can’t fact check this guy to make sure he isn’t this for malicious benefit. I really do not think he is but I understand this is a real possibility, if a small one.


I know I will be held accountable before God for everything I do here on Earth. As Matthew 25:41-45 states:


41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.


I believe all of these things matter. I must obey the Lord in his commandments to serve the poor and needy. I don’t think he would have called this person into my life if He wasn’t calling me to help this man. I can’t just do nothing, lest I become hard-hearted and disobey God. And I don’t want to disobey Him either way- in regards to serving the poor OR honoring my parents.


Please pray for us guys. Pray the wellbeing of him and his siblings. Please pray that I can find a legal way to give to him that is biblical. Please give me ideas of other ways I can help him or reach out to those who can. I feel really responsible for this person and am kind of feeling worked out as a result. But I don’t want to give up on him.
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: PloverWing

JohnAshton

Well-Known Member
Aug 13, 2019
2,197
1,580
88
Logan, Utah
✟45,911.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Sunflower Garden, you may be a target of a scam in Africa. Since you can't tell, leave it alone.

Since you want to help, go to your school chaplain and ask for advice how to help in your area.

Best of luck. You have a good heart. Keep it close and guard it.
 
Upvote 0

Sunflower Garden

Active Member
Jun 19, 2019
39
37
somewhere
✟18,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
I am looking up information on common scams in his country. Apparently it is a common scam to reach out to people in a developed country, claim parents are dead and taking care of younger siblings, which is his story. Will ask him more questions soon to investigate. Still not convinced he is fake though. Should I video chat him alongside a trusted adult or is that risky?
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,485
17,646
USA
✟933,730.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
This is a strange OP. When you asked for prayer you were advised not to give money to this person and to notify your parents.

God won’t send someone to you in need that would compel you to deceive your parents or place yourself in danger to assist.

Now you’re contemplating Skyping? This won’t end well.

~Bella
 
Upvote 0

Aussie Pete

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Aug 14, 2019
9,081
8,268
Frankston
Visit site
✟727,030.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Divorced
Hi, I’m in kind of a tough pickle right now regarding helping the poor and how exactly I am to go about this. This may be a long post but it’s really important.


I’m a minor, just a little bit under 18, I’m currently living away from my parents in boarding school. I have some money of my own but not a lot. I don’t have access to my bank account nor do I have a credit card.


Within the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world hunger. I follow a Christian world hunger donation/awareness page on Instagram, and I’m seeing lots of ads for related hunger charities in general. I’ve been remembering to bring it up during prayer requests at youth group. The day of, my daily bible verse (on an app) brought up gluttony. So when this person texted me out of the blue, I can’t help but feel God is calling me to help this person.


In the last few days, I’ve been receiving texts from a Christian from Africa who is struggling with lack of food, clean water, warm clothes, and education. Here is what they told me about themselves: their name, their age (early 20’s), their country (one of Africa’s poorest nations), their address, about their family, and their desired occupation.

They have sent me pictures of themselves + their siblings, a video of themselves walking, as well as a snippet of their voice.


I’m assuming he found me via my likes on Christian posts. He is also following 3 other people from my school which I found weird but two of them are Christian so i assume he found them through likes as well.


Here’s how the conversation started: He says hello and asks how I am. Knowing he’s a Christian, and that I should be kind and not push other believers away, I respond. We exchange names and where we’re from. He says he hopes we can be friends and get to know each other more (fellowship with Christian believers is important so I agree). We talk about family and Jesus, then he asks for help to get money for food. The whole conversation has been about us figuring out how to help him since then.


He wants me to give him money that he can convert to his currency through a service called Western Union. There are physical places for it in my town, so if I can’t send online I could offline- but the obstacle stands that I need to take a bus to do so and there’s no WU at the place it usually takes us to if we need to run errands (last time my friends and I asked to go somewhere other than that place, the bus forgot to pick us up and we needed to get help and obviously I don’t want to risk again).


I am aware the reality of scams, but personally, I think he’s legit. The picture/video/audio evidence (plus the really bad connection we had when trying to contact him via call with my pastor) is enough to assure me that he’s a real person from Africa at the very least. He also assures me that if I am doubting, he has proof (ID, etc) he can send to me but I told him that’s not necessary. I fact-checked the country he’s from and indeed it is one of Africa’s poorest and hungriest countries.


I’ve been trying to find ways to help that don’t involve giving money online since I can’t do that. I’ve been telling him that I can’t access my own money and I need to get outside help so it’s going to take me time. He tells me he’s tried to contact other people on Instagram (possibly elsewhere too) including charities/organizations and no one has responded to him except for me. He says the charities in his town don’t actually care and that’s why they are suffering. He doesn’t have a church.

Some ideas I have is giving my on-pocket money to a friend who can drive and letting them drive to WU for me which is currently the only way to give money directly. That, or sending a care package but I’m kind of wary because I’ve never sent a package before. He’s recommended I start a GoFundMe or another open donation but once again, not sure if that’s appropriate for me as a minor.


I talked with my pastor about this, hoping that as a church we can give some donations to this person. He again brought up potential of scam and said we’d need more information about him, which I said I have. He only told me to pray and trust that God will provide. Which is true, but the person I’m talking to seems really desperate for my help, telling me his siblings (little children) are crying of hunger. I think God is calling me to act now.


I’ve been trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about this, and I know I need to help Him somehow. I feel like telling him “Wait until I’m 18 for me to help you” is selfish and against God’s law.

Proverbs 21:13- Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.

Proverbs 3:27-28- Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

1 John 3:17

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?



However, as some people I’ve talked to have brought up, I am also in risk of violating God’s commandment to honor my father and mother. Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.

I do not think my parents would be in support of this. Last time I asked to donate to an organization that was legit, they denied me and told me I couldn’t help everyone. (please pray for the Spirit to make their hearts generous). So, they absolutely would not let me donate to a single person.

I have considered sending this person a care package with a Bible, blankets, non-perishable food, and water bottles. However, I don’t know if this would count as disobeying my parents either as I would still be having to buy these things, ship it, and do it without their knowledge (which I’m sure they would eventually find out anyway by looking at my expenses).


I’m also watching out for my safety. He’s also been trying to pursue a friendship with me, which I’m not against, but I’m wary. I know God calls us to be loving and kind friends to everyone, ESPECIALLY the poor, and ESPECIALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ. But obviously I’m under 18 and feel like I have to walk on eggshells a little bit as to not reveal my personal information, but to be loving and trusting of Him in his true struggle at the same time. I also feel pretty bad as I don’t think my parents would approve of this, yet I don’t want to ignore the cries of the needy. (Proverbs 23:13)

He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.

I feel really bad about being wary / mistrusting of him though because in truth while I don’t know him in person, he is still a brother in Christ. God tells us we should treat other believers like spiritual family (which he is) and be kind to strangers.

Matthew 25:43- I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

Proverbs 14:21- Those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor.

I’m scared that because I barely know him and therefore am wary of befriending him because he’s older than me, I am disobeying God’s commandment to love our neighbour. I’m also afraid that him having a bigger desire for friendship (based on the fact we share the same faith) than I do means I don’t have the holy spirit in me because otherwise I’d want to deeply be his friend too. (which I do because I believe God’s calling me to this person, but it’s only been three days with no interaction outside of texting).


I’ve been wanting to tell him “I am a minor, please find an adult” but I feel so bad, as once again, I feel this violates the Proverbs verses and as I’ve stated already he claims he is struggling to get a hold of anyone other than me. I have SOME money I can give, therefore I’m like the man in that verse. The only obstacle is that I don’t want to disobey my parents. But what’s more important in God’s eyes? Obeying my parents, or helping the needy? I’d say helping the needy but I still feel bad.


Lastly, people have brought up the concern that I can’t fact check this guy to make sure he isn’t this for malicious benefit. I really do not think he is but I understand this is a real possibility, if a small one.


I know I will be held accountable before God for everything I do here on Earth. As Matthew 25:41-45 states:


41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.


I believe all of these things matter. I must obey the Lord in his commandments to serve the poor and needy. I don’t think he would have called this person into my life if He wasn’t calling me to help this man. I can’t just do nothing, lest I become hard-hearted and disobey God. And I don’t want to disobey Him either way- in regards to serving the poor OR honoring my parents.


Please pray for us guys. Pray the wellbeing of him and his siblings. Please pray that I can find a legal way to give to him that is biblical. Please give me ideas of other ways I can help him or reach out to those who can. I feel really responsible for this person and am kind of feeling worked out as a result. But I don’t want to give up on him.
I understand and respect your desire to help. I've also learned that we need to take note of obstacles. God may want to help the family but maybe not through you. You are not personally responsible. If you want to help, there are organisations that work to bring clean water to third world countries. It is safer to work through them. James Robison is one and I'm pretty sure Joyce Meyer is another.

Don't allow Satan to manipulate you emotionally. You can only do what you can do. Use some common sense. Would you be able to visit the man if he was in prison? I don't think so! How about if he was in a hospital? God sees your willing heart and that is a great way to be. You need to trust God to work it out His way.
 
Upvote 0

High Fidelity

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Feb 9, 2014
24,259
10,277
✟897,134.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
Definitely sounds like a scam. They're very common and religious people are often the targets.

You have to understand that yes it may seem like a lot of effort to go to, but the money they could get from one successful scam may be more than a months wage or more to them.

This is almost certainly a scam. If you wish to donate then do so through a trusted and transparent charity that ensures money gets to genuine people.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Heavenhome
Upvote 0

Sunflower Garden

Active Member
Jun 19, 2019
39
37
somewhere
✟18,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
This is a strange OP. When you asked for prayer you were advised not to give money to this person and to notify your parents.

God won’t send someone to you in need that would compel you to deceive your parents or place yourself in danger to assist.

Now you’re contemplating Skyping? This won’t end well.

~Bella

You're right, this is really shady and I'm being naive. I guess that gives me my answer.

He's following about a thousand people, too. That's another red flag?
 
Upvote 0

Lady Donna Marie

Well-Known Member
Jan 10, 2020
518
347
South
✟15,196.00
Country
United States
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Single
Hello. Scams in Africa have been going on for years. Some Africans get on dating websites and lie about who they are and ask for money. On dating websites they tell you to never send money and report a person if they are asking you. When a person goes to WU to send money they ask the question are you sending money to someone you know and how long have you known this person. I do know Nigria is known for scamming people from American, Canada and Europe.
I would encourage you to stop communicating as an individual and if you still feel lead help contact an organization that may be able to assist him.
Also, this is WU policy.
Note: You must be at least 18 years old with a valid, government-issued ID* to send or receive money with Western Union.
You can always pray for him.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
Reactions: Heavenhome
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,485
17,646
USA
✟933,730.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
You're right, this is really shady and I'm being naive. I guess that gives me my answer.

He's following about a thousand people, too. That's another red flag?

I think there’s something amiss. Whether the goal is money or more isn’t certain. But what is definite is the regret you’ll feel for getting entangled.

Look at where this is leading you. Predators look for girls like you. Leave him alone.

~Bella
 
Upvote 0

friend of

A private in Gods army
Supporter
Dec 28, 2016
5,556
3,914
provincial
✟753,613.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
He's following about a thousand people, too. That's another red flag?

You bet. It's nice that you want to be generous. Give to those around you who have immediate need. Remember Luke 6:30
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Heavenhome
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

PloverWing

Episcopalian
May 5, 2012
4,338
5,024
New Jersey
✟332,494.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
I agree with the others who've said that this is very likely a scam. I've seen other scams that are similar to what you've described. Your pastor and parents are wise here.

However, your passion to help the poor is good, and you're right that the Old and New Testaments alike command us to care for the poor. Given your current situation -- early in life, without a lot of financial resources yet -- is there a place near you where you could volunteer your time with an organization that helps the poor? Near me, there's a church that distributed groceries to people in need, and they're always looking for teen/young adult volunteers to help pack and carry groceries. In some cities, there are soup kitchens that serve hot meals to those in need. Is there something like that near you, where you can give time (instead of money) to help people you can see, and who have been screened by an organization that verifies their genuine need?
 
Upvote 0

Heavenhome

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Dec 31, 2017
3,279
5,323
65
Newstead.Australia
✟407,525.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Hi, I’m in kind of a tough pickle right now regarding helping the poor and how exactly I am to go about this. This may be a long post but it’s really important.


I’m a minor, just a little bit under 18, I’m currently living away from my parents in boarding school. I have some money of my own but not a lot. I don’t have access to my bank account nor do I have a credit card.


Within the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world hunger. I follow a Christian world hunger donation/awareness page on Instagram, and I’m seeing lots of ads for related hunger charities in general. I’ve been remembering to bring it up during prayer requests at youth group. The day of, my daily bible verse (on an app) brought up gluttony. So when this person texted me out of the blue, I can’t help but feel God is calling me to help this person.


In the last few days, I’ve been receiving texts from a Christian from Africa who is struggling with lack of food, clean water, warm clothes, and education. Here is what they told me about themselves: their name, their age (early 20’s), their country (one of Africa’s poorest nations), their address, about their family, and their desired occupation.

They have sent me pictures of themselves + their siblings, a video of themselves walking, as well as a snippet of their voice.


I’m assuming he found me via my likes on Christian posts. He is also following 3 other people from my school which I found weird but two of them are Christian so i assume he found them through likes as well.


Here’s how the conversation started: He says hello and asks how I am. Knowing he’s a Christian, and that I should be kind and not push other believers away, I respond. We exchange names and where we’re from. He says he hopes we can be friends and get to know each other more (fellowship with Christian believers is important so I agree). We talk about family and Jesus, then he asks for help to get money for food. The whole conversation has been about us figuring out how to help him since then.


He wants me to give him money that he can convert to his currency through a service called Western Union. There are physical places for it in my town, so if I can’t send online I could offline- but the obstacle stands that I need to take a bus to do so and there’s no WU at the place it usually takes us to if we need to run errands (last time my friends and I asked to go somewhere other than that place, the bus forgot to pick us up and we needed to get help and obviously I don’t want to risk again).


I am aware the reality of scams, but personally, I think he’s legit. The picture/video/audio evidence (plus the really bad connection we had when trying to contact him via call with my pastor) is enough to assure me that he’s a real person from Africa at the very least. He also assures me that if I am doubting, he has proof (ID, etc) he can send to me but I told him that’s not necessary. I fact-checked the country he’s from and indeed it is one of Africa’s poorest and hungriest countries.


I’ve been trying to find ways to help that don’t involve giving money online since I can’t do that. I’ve been telling him that I can’t access my own money and I need to get outside help so it’s going to take me time. He tells me he’s tried to contact other people on Instagram (possibly elsewhere too) including charities/organizations and no one has responded to him except for me. He says the charities in his town don’t actually care and that’s why they are suffering. He doesn’t have a church.

Some ideas I have is giving my on-pocket money to a friend who can drive and letting them drive to WU for me which is currently the only way to give money directly. That, or sending a care package but I’m kind of wary because I’ve never sent a package before. He’s recommended I start a GoFundMe or another open donation but once again, not sure if that’s appropriate for me as a minor.


I talked with my pastor about this, hoping that as a church we can give some donations to this person. He again brought up potential of scam and said we’d need more information about him, which I said I have. He only told me to pray and trust that God will provide. Which is true, but the person I’m talking to seems really desperate for my help, telling me his siblings (little children) are crying of hunger. I think God is calling me to act now.


I’ve been trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about this, and I know I need to help Him somehow. I feel like telling him “Wait until I’m 18 for me to help you” is selfish and against God’s law.

Proverbs 21:13- Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.

Proverbs 3:27-28- Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

1 John 3:17

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?



However, as some people I’ve talked to have brought up, I am also in risk of violating God’s commandment to honor my father and mother. Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.

I do not think my parents would be in support of this. Last time I asked to donate to an organization that was legit, they denied me and told me I couldn’t help everyone. (please pray for the Spirit to make their hearts generous). So, they absolutely would not let me donate to a single person.

I have considered sending this person a care package with a Bible, blankets, non-perishable food, and water bottles. However, I don’t know if this would count as disobeying my parents either as I would still be having to buy these things, ship it, and do it without their knowledge (which I’m sure they would eventually find out anyway by looking at my expenses).


I’m also watching out for my safety. He’s also been trying to pursue a friendship with me, which I’m not against, but I’m wary. I know God calls us to be loving and kind friends to everyone, ESPECIALLY the poor, and ESPECIALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ. But obviously I’m under 18 and feel like I have to walk on eggshells a little bit as to not reveal my personal information, but to be loving and trusting of Him in his true struggle at the same time. I also feel pretty bad as I don’t think my parents would approve of this, yet I don’t want to ignore the cries of the needy. (Proverbs 23:13)

He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.

I feel really bad about being wary / mistrusting of him though because in truth while I don’t know him in person, he is still a brother in Christ. God tells us we should treat other believers like spiritual family (which he is) and be kind to strangers.

Matthew 25:43- I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

Proverbs 14:21- Those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor.

I’m scared that because I barely know him and therefore am wary of befriending him because he’s older than me, I am disobeying God’s commandment to love our neighbour. I’m also afraid that him having a bigger desire for friendship (based on the fact we share the same faith) than I do means I don’t have the holy spirit in me because otherwise I’d want to deeply be his friend too. (which I do because I believe God’s calling me to this person, but it’s only been three days with no interaction outside of texting).


I’ve been wanting to tell him “I am a minor, please find an adult” but I feel so bad, as once again, I feel this violates the Proverbs verses and as I’ve stated already he claims he is struggling to get a hold of anyone other than me. I have SOME money I can give, therefore I’m like the man in that verse. The only obstacle is that I don’t want to disobey my parents. But what’s more important in God’s eyes? Obeying my parents, or helping the needy? I’d say helping the needy but I still feel bad.


Lastly, people have brought up the concern that I can’t fact check this guy to make sure he isn’t this for malicious benefit. I really do not think he is but I understand this is a real possibility, if a small one.


I know I will be held accountable before God for everything I do here on Earth. As Matthew 25:41-45 states:


41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.


I believe all of these things matter. I must obey the Lord in his commandments to serve the poor and needy. I don’t think he would have called this person into my life if He wasn’t calling me to help this man. I can’t just do nothing, lest I become hard-hearted and disobey God. And I don’t want to disobey Him either way- in regards to serving the poor OR honoring my parents.


Please pray for us guys. Pray the wellbeing of him and his siblings. Please pray that I can find a legal way to give to him that is biblical. Please give me ideas of other ways I can help him or reach out to those who can. I feel really responsible for this person and am kind of feeling worked out as a result. But I don’t want to give up on him.

You have a beautiful heart and it is so wonderful to read how you take Gods word so seriously, however I would like to say that you would not be disregarding God if you did not give to this man.

Firstly if he is trying to provide for his family, there are ways for this without asking a minor in another country.
The questions he has asked are not right for a purported Christian man to be asking you is who you live with, whether you are single, your age etc. It is not in any way appropriate,and these are the exact questions sex predators ask, especially to minors.
Saying his children are crying with hunger is a cruel way to try to persuade you to do what he wants, also another tactic.
If you still want to help him, get his name and address and pass it onto Barnabus fund, Open Doors,or Voice of the Martyrs for they all have ministries in Africa and other countries where there are Christians in need.

If he refuses, you will know he is scamming.
If he gives it to you, you can pass it on so he can get help.
Either way, you have been a godly and obedient Christian and this would be so well pleasing to God.
After all you don't have your own money to send. He should not ever have put you in this position.
God bless you dear one, I will also pray for your situation.:heart:
 
  • Agree
Reactions: JohnAshton
Upvote 0

Heavenhome

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Dec 31, 2017
3,279
5,323
65
Newstead.Australia
✟407,525.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
You're right, this is really shady and I'm being naive. I guess that gives me my answer.

He's following about a thousand people, too. That's another red flag?

Following over a thousand people???
No, please delete him and do not contact.
 
Upvote 0

turkle

Blessed
Jan 25, 2004
907
629
✟224,107.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I applaud your kind heart and desire to help the less fortunate. However, as others have said, there are thousands of online scammers who target people they see as kind and naive. I think that you are indeed a target.

I also applaud your desire to follow God's Word. But we need to look at all of it. Your parents have told you that you are not to participate in this. God tells us to honor our parents. It is their money that is supporting you. You are a child. You do not have the right to do as you wish with their money if you are adhering to God's commands.

God also tells us to be wise with our resources. Participating in money exchange with a virtual stranger who hit you up for money is never, ever wise. Your parents work hard to keep you in a boarding school, which is very costly. As long as you are underage and dependent upon them, you need to heed their wishes.

If you really want to help the less fortunate, I am sure that there are any number of organizations near you where you could volunteer your time. There is much to do right where you are planted.

There is further danger in participating in this. Once you are in communication with scammers, you go on their sucker list, and you will get lots and lots of gut wrenching, totally false stories to entice you to give more. So many people have fallen in this trap, and you are in the perfect position to be the next victim. Please, please, please stop this communication immediately. Honor God by doing good in your community and listening to your parents.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: JohnAshton
Upvote 0

Sunflower Garden

Active Member
Jun 19, 2019
39
37
somewhere
✟18,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
This is really splitting me in two right now. On one hand, I don't think he is fake based of the photo/video/audio evidence he is sending. On the other, he shows signs of common scammers, but his struggles are also common in his country.

On one hand, I have you guys telling me that using money against my parents' knowledge is a sin (which I agree).

On the other hand, he tells me there is no sin in feeding the poor via any means (which, in a way, I also agree, the greatest commandment is to love your neighbour as yourself). He is also telling me to not let the devil control my heart which makes me feel really bad and unChristlike.

How can I be sure I'm not hardening my heart right now?
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

PloverWing

Episcopalian
May 5, 2012
4,338
5,024
New Jersey
✟332,494.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
This is really splitting me in two right now.
How can I be sure I'm not hardening my heart right now?

It's hard to be 100% sure, and that's why it's tearing you apart. But there are scammers who will take advantage of exactly this -- your God-given desire to care for those in need -- to rob from you.

One way to think about this is to think of being a steward of the resources God has given us. Unless we're billionaires, we can only help a finite number of people. Money that's stolen from us by a scammer is money that's not going to go to a genuine need. Sometimes stewardship, then, involves hardening one's heart against a scammer, so that the resources can be directed toward someone else who has genuine need.

If you don't mind, could you send me in a private conversation some of the texts and messages you've been receiving from him? (Don't send me your own private identifying information -- I'm a stranger on the Internet too -- just some of his messages.) I've seen a lot of scams in my 30+ years on computer networks, and I have a pretty good eye for what's fake and what's real. Maybe I can help you with your task of discernment.
 
Upvote 0

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,978
9,399
✟378,031.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Hi, I’m in kind of a tough pickle right now regarding helping the poor and how exactly I am to go about this. This may be a long post but it’s really important.


I’m a minor, just a little bit under 18, I’m currently living away from my parents in boarding school. I have some money of my own but not a lot. I don’t have access to my bank account nor do I have a credit card.


Within the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about world hunger. I follow a Christian world hunger donation/awareness page on Instagram, and I’m seeing lots of ads for related hunger charities in general. I’ve been remembering to bring it up during prayer requests at youth group. The day of, my daily bible verse (on an app) brought up gluttony. So when this person texted me out of the blue, I can’t help but feel God is calling me to help this person.


In the last few days, I’ve been receiving texts from a Christian from Africa who is struggling with lack of food, clean water, warm clothes, and education. Here is what they told me about themselves: their name, their age (early 20’s), their country (one of Africa’s poorest nations), their address, about their family, and their desired occupation.

They have sent me pictures of themselves + their siblings, a video of themselves walking, as well as a snippet of their voice.


I’m assuming he found me via my likes on Christian posts. He is also following 3 other people from my school which I found weird but two of them are Christian so i assume he found them through likes as well.


Here’s how the conversation started: He says hello and asks how I am. Knowing he’s a Christian, and that I should be kind and not push other believers away, I respond. We exchange names and where we’re from. He says he hopes we can be friends and get to know each other more (fellowship with Christian believers is important so I agree). We talk about family and Jesus, then he asks for help to get money for food. The whole conversation has been about us figuring out how to help him since then.


He wants me to give him money that he can convert to his currency through a service called Western Union. There are physical places for it in my town, so if I can’t send online I could offline- but the obstacle stands that I need to take a bus to do so and there’s no WU at the place it usually takes us to if we need to run errands (last time my friends and I asked to go somewhere other than that place, the bus forgot to pick us up and we needed to get help and obviously I don’t want to risk again).


I am aware the reality of scams, but personally, I think he’s legit. The picture/video/audio evidence (plus the really bad connection we had when trying to contact him via call with my pastor) is enough to assure me that he’s a real person from Africa at the very least. He also assures me that if I am doubting, he has proof (ID, etc) he can send to me but I told him that’s not necessary. I fact-checked the country he’s from and indeed it is one of Africa’s poorest and hungriest countries.


I’ve been trying to find ways to help that don’t involve giving money online since I can’t do that. I’ve been telling him that I can’t access my own money and I need to get outside help so it’s going to take me time. He tells me he’s tried to contact other people on Instagram (possibly elsewhere too) including charities/organizations and no one has responded to him except for me. He says the charities in his town don’t actually care and that’s why they are suffering. He doesn’t have a church.

Some ideas I have is giving my on-pocket money to a friend who can drive and letting them drive to WU for me which is currently the only way to give money directly. That, or sending a care package but I’m kind of wary because I’ve never sent a package before. He’s recommended I start a GoFundMe or another open donation but once again, not sure if that’s appropriate for me as a minor.


I talked with my pastor about this, hoping that as a church we can give some donations to this person. He again brought up potential of scam and said we’d need more information about him, which I said I have. He only told me to pray and trust that God will provide. Which is true, but the person I’m talking to seems really desperate for my help, telling me his siblings (little children) are crying of hunger. I think God is calling me to act now.


I’ve been trying to listen to the Holy Spirit about this, and I know I need to help Him somehow. I feel like telling him “Wait until I’m 18 for me to help you” is selfish and against God’s law.

Proverbs 21:13- Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.

Proverbs 3:27-28- Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

1 John 3:17

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?



However, as some people I’ve talked to have brought up, I am also in risk of violating God’s commandment to honor my father and mother. Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.

I do not think my parents would be in support of this. Last time I asked to donate to an organization that was legit, they denied me and told me I couldn’t help everyone. (please pray for the Spirit to make their hearts generous). So, they absolutely would not let me donate to a single person.

I have considered sending this person a care package with a Bible, blankets, non-perishable food, and water bottles. However, I don’t know if this would count as disobeying my parents either as I would still be having to buy these things, ship it, and do it without their knowledge (which I’m sure they would eventually find out anyway by looking at my expenses).


I’m also watching out for my safety. He’s also been trying to pursue a friendship with me, which I’m not against, but I’m wary. I know God calls us to be loving and kind friends to everyone, ESPECIALLY the poor, and ESPECIALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ. But obviously I’m under 18 and feel like I have to walk on eggshells a little bit as to not reveal my personal information, but to be loving and trusting of Him in his true struggle at the same time. I also feel pretty bad as I don’t think my parents would approve of this, yet I don’t want to ignore the cries of the needy. (Proverbs 23:13)

He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.

I feel really bad about being wary / mistrusting of him though because in truth while I don’t know him in person, he is still a brother in Christ. God tells us we should treat other believers like spiritual family (which he is) and be kind to strangers.

Matthew 25:43- I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

Proverbs 14:21- Those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor.

I’m scared that because I barely know him and therefore am wary of befriending him because he’s older than me, I am disobeying God’s commandment to love our neighbour. I’m also afraid that him having a bigger desire for friendship (based on the fact we share the same faith) than I do means I don’t have the holy spirit in me because otherwise I’d want to deeply be his friend too. (which I do because I believe God’s calling me to this person, but it’s only been three days with no interaction outside of texting).


I’ve been wanting to tell him “I am a minor, please find an adult” but I feel so bad, as once again, I feel this violates the Proverbs verses and as I’ve stated already he claims he is struggling to get a hold of anyone other than me. I have SOME money I can give, therefore I’m like the man in that verse. The only obstacle is that I don’t want to disobey my parents. But what’s more important in God’s eyes? Obeying my parents, or helping the needy? I’d say helping the needy but I still feel bad.


Lastly, people have brought up the concern that I can’t fact check this guy to make sure he isn’t this for malicious benefit. I really do not think he is but I understand this is a real possibility, if a small one.


I know I will be held accountable before God for everything I do here on Earth. As Matthew 25:41-45 states:


41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.


I believe all of these things matter. I must obey the Lord in his commandments to serve the poor and needy. I don’t think he would have called this person into my life if He wasn’t calling me to help this man. I can’t just do nothing, lest I become hard-hearted and disobey God. And I don’t want to disobey Him either way- in regards to serving the poor OR honoring my parents.


Please pray for us guys. Pray the wellbeing of him and his siblings. Please pray that I can find a legal way to give to him that is biblical. Please give me ideas of other ways I can help him or reach out to those who can. I feel really responsible for this person and am kind of feeling worked out as a result. But I don’t want to give up on him.
That sounds a lot like a very common scam. Do not provide him any personal information, or money. If he is really in need, he will accept a care package, find out where to ship it to, and what to legally ship, and do not use a return address for yourself or your family. Do no more than that for him.

What you should do generally, is find a local charity that helps the poor, and volunteer to help them. You will learn quite a bit, and it will give you a base of experience from which you can do more service to the poor as opportunities arise.
 
Upvote 0

mkdrive2

Active Member
Supporter
Sep 26, 2014
110
61
36
✟54,545.00
Country
Germany
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Since I am still a minor and they are supporting me with their money, I would be disobeying God (and my parents) by giving money without their permission.
Disobeying your parents is not the issue here. The money you have is not your own money, but the money of your parents. If you donate that money, it is in fact not you donating money, but your parents. You are deciding for your parents what to use their money on.

That is why I think the opinion of your parents on this matter is the most important. You should not donate any money that they don't want to give.
He’s asking me concerning questions like how old I am (red flag), who I live with (major red flag) or if I’m single (super duper red flag). When I tell him I can’t give him this information, he is sad that I don’t trust him or am ‘hiding things’ from him, and I shouldn’t be afraid because we are family now. He also says he wants to meet me in real life someday even though we’ve barely talked, and asked if I’d ever consider traveling to Africa. Now I think he just doesn’t understand because ‘stranger danger’ may not be an issue where he lives, but still.
I think if he wants your friendship he should learn to respect your boundaries.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

tampasteve

Pray for peace in Israel
Christian Forums Staff
Administrator
Angels Team
CF Senior Ambassador
Supporter
May 15, 2017
25,211
7,289
Tampa
✟768,111.00
Country
United States
Faith
Methodist
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
MOD HAT ON
@Sunflower Garden : This is almost certainly a scam. People like this prey on kind Christians. This website is subject to many such scams daily and we mods have to delete their profiles and posts. It seems this person did not find you on this website, but elsewhere. The evidence you have posted points to this person scamming you.

Please donate to charities and causes that are known to get the money or donations to the correct people that need it. NEVER donate to someone directly that you do not know in some direct fashion, or through someone's personal, direct friendship. Online friendship does not count either, it should be in person verification. People can and do make up all sorts of fake profiles and fake sob stories to scam people. It seems you know this is a scam but are trying to be kind - it is a scam. Please, do not fall for it, please trust your feelings - feelings that are probably being influenced by the Holy Spirit to tell you this is a scam.

The advice you have been given is sound, please listen to it. This thread is now closed. Please contact a Staff member if we can assist you in ANY way.

MOD HAT OFF
 
Upvote 0
Status
Not open for further replies.