A Question on Marriage and God’s Will

Trayalc said:

So I used to believe that God didn’t care who we married, as long as we glorified God with our relationship. But William Lane Craig changed my mind on that. Who we marry has enormous impacts on the future, such as who your progeny will be. How on earth could it just not matter to God? Now I believe there is one particular person who God has willed for us to marry (unless He has called you to be celibate), supported by the Doctrine of Divine Providence. That person will be the person whom you will be able to best accomplish God’s will with.

But I do have one question regarding this: assuming this view is true, why would Paul say that it better that we not marry, if we can handle it? Does that contradict the idea I described above?

My answer for this is that it would be better for us not to marry as Paul says, but God realizes that not many people will be able to handle this. So that’s when God includes a spouse in His plan for someone’s life. Does that sound reasonable?

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Are you trying to please God or William Lane Craig?

HTacianas said:

Are you trying to please God or William Lane Craig?

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Super Lame comment

Trayalc said:

So I used to believe that God didn’t care who we married, as long as we glorified God with our relationship. But William Lane Craig changed my mind on that. Who we marry has enormous impacts on the future, such as who your progeny will be. How on earth could it just not matter to God? Now I believe there is one particular person who God has willed for us to marry (unless He has called you to be celibate), supported by the Doctrine of Divine Providence. That person will be the person whom you will be able to best accomplish God’s will with.

But I do have one question regarding this: assuming this view is true, why would Paul say that it better that we not marry, if we can handle it? Does that contradict the idea I described above?

My answer for this is that it would be better for us not to marry as Paul says, but God realizes that not many people will be able to handle this. So that’s when God includes a spouse in His plan for someone’s life. Does that sound reasonable?

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I married a Christian woman who loved Jesus, missionary lifelong believer, Christian parents with father as elder. My dad is an elder and all parents gave full blessing.

10 years later my wife had an affair, completely abandoned Christ and became an atheist and divorced me.


so how would the concept of God having the perfect spouse apply in my situation?
I think that my non-perfect spouse and the pain in my life was part of Gods plan as well to draw me closer to him. I actually know this, because Philippians and Romans tell me this.

truth is being unmarried IS better. But all that happens to us is predetermined and guided by God to conform us to the image of his son, even if we marry a bad person, the wrong person, or the right person who later turns bad.

GaveMeJoy said:

I married a Christian woman who loved Jesus, missionary lifelong believer, Christian parents with father as elder. My dad is an elder and all parents gave full blessing.

10 years later my wife had an affair, completely abandoned Christ and became an atheist and divorced me.


so how would the concept of God having the perfect spouse apply in my situation?
I think that my non-perfect spouse and the pain in my life was part of Gods plan as well to draw me closer to him. I actually know this, because Philippians and Romans tell me this.

truth is being unmarried IS better. But all that happens to us is predetermined and guided by God to conform us to the image of his son, even if we marry a bad person, the wrong person, or the right person who later turns bad.

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maybe you haven't found that perfect spouse yet, or else there were some life lessons to be learned before God introduced the 'right one' to you.

It’s the absence of encumbrance. If you’ve seen me address my purpose, that’s what he’s speaking of. I am free to give all of my attention to my calling and the talents He’s bestowed. My work is part of this as is my leisure. I don’t have demands on my time or attention. I’m all His.

One of the reasons I’ve grown and progressed rapidly since I returned to Him is for that reason. I was able to spend my day in His presence for several years. Praying for hours and meditating on His word.

I don’t have children or responsibilities that interrupt my day. By the time I received my calling, I had a deep relationship with Him and was accustomed to leaning on the Holy Spirit for guidance.

~Bella

Trayalc said:

My answer for this is that it would be better for us not to marry as Paul says, but God realizes that not many people will be able to handle this. So that’s when God includes a spouse in His plan for someone’s life. Does that sound reasonable?

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Only if you take the CONTEXT of Paul's statement into consideration. The times were DANGEROUS, and there was wide spread persecution, so Paul said that it's would better if you only had to worry about YOURSELF, and not ALSO have to be concerned about the persecution of your wife and kids. THAT consideration in the U.S. doesn't exist (yet).

I think a careful examination of a potential partner is important. I am especially concerned with upbringing, family values, challenges, and their contribution to the person’s makeup.

This helps to understand what influences their outlook. I also pay attention to their character, how they handle adversity and setbacks, vision, money management and spiritual fruits.

I’m less concerned about what a person professes to believe (within reason). I’m looking for evidence in their countenance. If I don’t encounter Christ and a sense of connection with God in our discourse and engagement. Nothing will sway me in their direction.

Choosing a lukewarm partner is a failure in my mind. I’d rather have someone who knows God with imperfections I have to deal with. Than another with less challenges who’s clueless.

Whether God limits us to one option is another matter. I don’t believe that’s the case. But He knows who we’ll choose in the long run. That doesn’t imply our choice was His best for us. Some unions were never sanctioned by Him. It was an act of flesh instead.

Nevertheless, He promises to answer a righteous and sincere prayer. We must be willing to accept what He says.

~Bella

sweetheart i only know a little on marriage and i learned it the hard way both times
when i was 18 yrs old just starting out i had a guy who preached on the radio come tell me GOD SAID *** i was his next wife .... well being young dumb unlearned in scripture and not knowing Christ at that time i took his word for it and i married him shortly after i started going to Church with him ( which i never understood why but he kept hopping us from one church to the next ) we finally hopped thru the doors of a holiness church one sunday and the second sunday there i accepted christ into my heart and that night i woke up speaking in tongues .... i started noticing some strange things concerning him that seemed odd (i had been in church my whole life but had never receieved Christ until the holiness church experience ) the things i noticed was he was having a preaching war on the radio with another minister and it appeared as though the was warring thru scripture .... i also noticed he started going to the woods to pray he never prayed in the house or in my presence at first i didnt think anything of it .... then i started seeing a 8 ft tall demon in the house going room to room ... one night i went to sleep and had a dream that looked like a vision it was me and him with our legs wrapped around each others heads and we was rolling all over the house .... that dream disturbed me a great deal i knew it had spiritual meaning but wasnt sure what it meant i had met a female prophet eariler thru the holiness church earlier i asked her about my dream and she told me it was a prophetical dream to get in prayer that God was showing me mine and his spirits was warring ... so i did well in the mean time as i was waiting on God to continue rvealing things to me i notice if we hit hard times hed go buy beer hed get very very drunk the beer didnt scare me but what i saw him doing did he be looking at a blank turned off tv start speaking in tongues with the most extreame fear i ever saw in anyones eyes .... that scared me enough to get deep in prayer we was already waiting for the utility board to come cut off our services ... the Lord spoke to me and told me they was cutting off the lights the next day ... so i told him what the Lord spoke to me and he ok it'll be ok im going to the woods to pray he would never reveal to me where he was going to the woods to pray but when he came back he said he heard the sound of what the bible descrbes of the wind blowing in the mullberry bushes and that God told him we would see at that time the next day everything would be ok our lights would still be on i knew for sure it was the holySpirit or Lord whom i had heard so i looked at the clock it was 1pm and i said ok we will see what happens tomorrow at this time its 1 pm the next day at 1 pm he was in the woods again praying and the utility board came out and shut off our lights but not the gas and water because i had 2 small children when he came back i asked him to tell me where he was going to pray and he refused to tell me i told him exactly what time the lights got cut off ... and told him i didnt know what he was praying to but was not God that God is not the authour of fear and confusion ... the only scripture i ever memorized in my whole life was john 3:16 ... i didnt know what just came out of my mouth was a scripture but anyways he hit me with a scripture war and when hed hit me with a scripture the holyspirit flowed thru me with scripture many of the scriptures that came from my mouth id never heard or read after that was over i told him God would guide to to where he was praying my dog ester always went with him to pray ... i told my Dog to show me where he went to pray the dog lead me thru the woods the further i went the more of a evil presence i felt i asked God to protect me and kept going ... she lead me to a old milk dairy silo where there was a sacrifical pit and a building with demonic signs all over it and in it .... i then started praying for God to get me out of that marriage and since departing from that marriage theres been spiritual warfare hitting me ... i responded with my experience with my first marriage to make a point it is very very important to get into serious prayer on who you are supposed to marry out of being young dumb and no wisdom i married a wolf in sheeps clothing .... and when he remarried he married another woman who has the same name as mine just a differant middle name its been over 17 yrs since our divorce and because of marrying him and having 2 kids with him im still in spiritual warfare and my kids by him are too as a matter of fact i now have a daughter in the same exact predicument i found myself in except her boyfriend / fiance does hide the fact he worships satan and she beaten down physically often and when she runs to get out of the situation it gets worse ... so yes it does matter who you marry ****

Trayalc said:

First of all, thank you for sharing that, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. The idea I espouse (no pun intended) above does not purport that a marriage with God's chosen for you will be easy. You mentioned the word "perfect." In the view I describe, the "perfect" spouse is the one that brings you most to the likeness of Christ and accomplishes His will; certainly the person is an imperfect sinner just like everyone.

I don't think your case is a contradiction, for it's entirely possible, for instance, that the way in which one might best come to the likeness of Christ is to marry someone they're not happy with. It's just as you said -- you felt that God brought you closer to Him through that ordeal. Perhaps if you had married someone else, you would not be as close to God as you are now.

It's also possible that one could marry the person God willed for them, but then somebody in the marriage strays from God's will and causes something catastrophic, like divorce. Certainly marriage is a lifelong challenge of constantly seeking the path that God paves for a couple according to His will. It sounds like your ex-wife strayed from God's will, and you suffered for remaining in it. God bless you, you are very strong to have continued to run to God!

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im not sure i understand cause the scripture talks about not being unequally yoked and theres a place in the bible that talks about God giving moses a writing of divorcement for the people because of the hearding of their hearts ... but i will say this my 2nd marriage was so full of abuse i suffer 4 mental breakdowns and the second husband refused me medical treatment and took out a 1 hundred thousand dollar burial policy on me and no matter what he did to me when i chose to leave him i sought counceling from my pastor and my pastor let me know i would not go to hell for divorcing him either and after that conversation i wept bitterly in the altar cause even though many times he tried to kill me or let me die i still didnt want to leave him because i loved him that much ... when i had to make the descision of what was best for me and my son .... ive now realized i dont wanna marry again id rather stay set aside for fulltime ministry purposes now

Bob Carabbio said:

Only if you take the CONTEXT of Paul's statement into consideration. The times were DANGEROUS, and there was wide spread persecution, so Paul said that it's would better if you only had to worry about YOURSELF, and not ALSO have to be concerned about the persecution of your wife and kids. THAT consideration in the U.S. doesn't exist (yet).

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False. He clearly explains that it’s better to be unmarried for ministry purposes. Evens during the time are irrelevant and don’t controvert the words of scripture

GaveMeJoy said:

False. He clearly explains that it’s better to be unmarried for ministry purposes. Evens during the time are irrelevant and don’t controvert the words of scripture

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SO stay single. Your choice.

Trayalc said:

So I used to believe that God didn’t care who we married, as long as we glorified God with our relationship. But William Lane Craig changed my mind on that. Who we marry has enormous impacts on the future, such as who your progeny will be. How on earth could it just not matter to God? Now I believe there is one particular person who God has willed for us to marry (unless He has called you to be celibate), supported by the Doctrine of Divine Providence. That person will be the person whom you will be able to best accomplish God’s will with.

But I do have one question regarding this: assuming this view is true, why would Paul say that it better that we not marry, if we can handle it? Does that contradict the idea I described above?

My answer for this is that it would be better for us not to marry as Paul says, but God realizes that not many people will be able to handle this. So that’s when God includes a spouse in His plan for someone’s life. Does that sound reasonable?

Click to expand...

And, what if God has 20 people for you to marry?

I agree that Craig has no particular authority, so figuring out exactly what he meant may not be so important. But presumably he is speaking only of people who don't have what Paul considers the gift of celibacy.

Paul says that celibacy is a gift, and you should marry if you don't have it. In 1 Cor 7:7 he says he wishes everyone was like him. But he doesn't say what about himself he wishes everyone had. The most obvious thing is that he wishes everyone had the gift of celibacy.

At any rate, the first thing to ask yourself is whether you do. Most people don't, as Paul recognizes.

Furthermore, I'm not sure quite what to do with Craig's observation. He is surely right that who you marry has a big effect on your life. God's providence extends to our whole lives, including who we marry (if we do). But absent some kind of direct revelation, we can't tell what God's plan is. Indeed in some sense it's odd even to try. I mean, if you believe in God's providence, then God is responsible for making sure that his plans happen. You should pray for guidance, but I don't see that we have some way to find out God's plan for us other than the normal processes of discernment. Trying to go beyond that has at times led to superstitious actions trying to divine God's will directly.

pdudgeon said:

maybe you haven't found that perfect spouse yet, or else there were some life lessons to be learned before God introduced the 'right one' to you.

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There's a PERFECT spouse!!!
LOL

Sad story. Can relate to the degree my ex left God too.

On the other hand, God doesn't promote sinfulness. So the actions of your former wife we're her choices not God's plan to get you closer to Him although He always wants us to become closer He doesn't encourage people to sin in order for someone to get closer to Him. That was a blessing you received by choicing to follow God.
I know the choice of my ex to keep God at a distance for 14 years and then finally ask me to leave God turned me closer to God. A better plan would have pleased God for the both of us to honor God, but that takes a willingness from both to do it.
I'm an Orthodox Christian and the Bishop said my ex abandoned his family and God and I wasn't held accountable for his choices to end the marriage. Since that time I have met others like us in today's world where one spouse decides to abandoned God and their union.
May God bless you with someone that actually is true.

.

Donna Fletcher said:

God our Creator said to be fruitful and mulitply. There is to ways to be celibate.
Either by living life without being married and no sexual relationship or living a married life that is only sexual with the spouse you are given. Both are considered celibate and equal in the eyes of God. The difference between celibate and alone is there isn't a companion to share life with more intimately, whereas, married celibates that chose to keep their union holy have to learn how to build a relationship that is workable and not destructive.

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Celibacy is a vow to God that one will remain sexually inactive for their entire life.

A person that is married is NOT celibate.

Marriage in God's eyes is a state as He intended it to be...however it does not mean the persons are celibate UNLESS they are NOT engaging in intimate relations.