I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?
My daughter does not makes friends easily. She sits alone in church and is painfully shy. However I downloaded this book the other day and wanted to post a section from it...it's called "how to make friends fast" by june hunt. BTW I don't have many friends myself, I am sort of an internet nerd. I would rather spend my time on forums, tweeting and being on social media, listening to worship music, etc, than having friends in the real world. You just have to find your niche.
"
Make the First Move
First and foremost, you have to stop being shy and you have to know how to make the first move!
More often than not, a lot of friendships aren’t formed because people are so scared to actually put their foot forward and give some attention to a person or to the people around them. There are times when you yourself feel like this person beside you seems nice, and that you could be friends, but none of you are talking to each other! Why?
Remember, you’re both shy. You both aren’t sure about each other, but you shouldn’t let yourselves be limited by those thoughts. As long as one of you learns to make the first move, things will flow on easily!
Don’t let that potential friendship go to waste. Here are a few good ways to make the first move:
1. Say something right away. You know what? You don’t actually have to be so formal and introduce yourself in such a way that it feels like you’re introducing yourself at school or something. Just say something like, “Have you seen the big game last night?”, or “I swear, the Oscars Best Picture should’ve been something else”, and the like. This way, you get to start the conversation and the person you want to be friends with won’t feel so shy around you anymore!
2. Then, introduce yourself. Of course, you don’t have to be like “I’m Ann, I’m 27, I took up literature, blah blah blah…” That would be so unnecessary and so unnatural, and of course, that’s not good for your potential friend to hear. Just be as natural as possible. Say, “I’m Ann, by the way.” And surely, he or she will introduce him/herself, too.
3. Start conversing! Now, you can go and start a conversation, and if you’re lucky, you’d be talking for a while and won’t get bored with each other. In the next chapter, you’ll learn how to make sure that your conversations won’t ever be boring and that you can form a good bond already!
4. Smile and be positive. As they say, when you smile, it’ll be so easy for others to smile back at you. When you smile, it’s like, you’re opening yourself up to others and you’re letting them know that they can talk to you and you’re not going to bite. Having a positive aura will make the person you want to be friends feel that he can trust you and that you’re someone who’s fun to be with—and that’s exactly what you want to happen.
5. And, remember that you can always start with your “crowd”. The easiest way to make friends is by getting to know people with the same interests as you are. It’s easy to know who these people are especially if you’re at work or at the office, but you can also try joining groups such as book clubs, committees, charitable groups, or even online forums to find people who are in the same wavelength as you are. This way, you’d know that you actually have something to talk about and you won’t instantly be annoyed at each other. Then, you could go on from there.
"
if you want to read the next section on how to make conversations not be boring, check out the rest of the small book:
https://www.amazon.com/How-Make-Friends-Fast-Relationships-ebook/dp/B015I2FBCG