My parents are forcing a girl on me for marriage

vlisco said:

Really?

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Yes really, bc not everyone has you're best interest in mind and I have never been in a relationship before so I'm somewhat unreliable I'm just telling you what I would do, all I has ask is you be careful who you place your trust in especially if it's a stranger

I’m saying 30!!! Is there a reason why you’re parents could have that kind of control over your life? Seriously please answer cause I’m curious and I also wanna help.

vlisco said:

i guess ive been too much of a good child to them

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So the fact that you were TOO good of a child means they can force something upon you at the age of 30? Some things just need to be no brother. At some point as long as they are not supporting you to live or contributing in the way you live that they can back out on you have to say no. Even if that was they case maybe some independence from them could help.

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you're a grown adult, you should marry someone you are in love with nobody can make you marry anyone! stand up for what you believe in and if your parents disagree then you have to make a decision to walk away until they respect your personal choices

Relational strong-arming usually occurs for three reasons:

• Cultural expectations. Arranged marriages are the norm.
• Financial reward or dependency. They're paying the bills or a future inheritance is expected. Typically, the greater the amount the more involved they become.
  
• Familial dynamics. Controlling parents, overly involved siblings, etc.

~bella

vlisco said:

Please advise me.. My parents want me to marry a lady I have no attraction for. They threaten to show no concern if I marry someone else . Now my right to find my own wife is taken from me. I am 30 now
This issue has been a headache for me

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Hi, I'm in a similar situation as you posted ,(30yo), my south Indian Bible believing (Pentecostal) parents (father is a pastor) are forcing me to get married, they say the choice is yours but as many women aren't liking your profile (as I have receding hairline), if something comes up I can't say NO outright. There was a recent alliance that came and I said no and they kept doing my head in saying what's the reason (thanks be to God she said no) and also threatening me that they'll disown me and cut me off any inheritance ,(emotionally blackmailing me), they kinda already did that with my sister as she married someone she loved and parents didn't approve him, cut off all communication and settled her with a so called inheritance (lowest of lowest) such that she couldn't file a case in court seeking inheritance.

I said I'm not ready to get married yet,

similar to your issue, they said they'll show no concern if I marry anyone else,

Every conversation with them now is a head ache, they are quoting children obey your parents in the Lord verse and honour the parents verse. If I don't obey them, they say it's dishonouring them.

But in my head I think if I give into what they say, it's a plain example of mental slavery (also I'm doing wrong to the woman, who've done me no harm).
Kindly advise