I know I should be going to a doctor about this but...

Neostarwcc · Jan 4, 2020

My doctor has the IQ of a rasin. Don't even get me started on my psychiatrist either. But that's a completely other topic for another day.

Anyway back to my doctor and my problem. As some of you already know I'm morbidly obese. During my last episode that I had about a year and a half ago I weighed close to 400 pounds (about 398 or so). I got sick of not being able to move around, I didnt want to hit the next category of obesity and quite frankly? I didnt want to have a heart attack before I was 40 years old (I'm almost 34 now and I was approaching 33 at the time so had I kept gaining it would only be a matter of time.)

It isn't about if I'll have a heart attack. It's pretty much a guaranteed certainty and a matter of WHEN. I was so petrified that that episode was full of panic attacks and I had one every night and several times a day. (Yes I have panic disorder on top of bipolar/schizophrenia lol there's a lot of stuff wrong with me.)

And quite frankly? I got sick of my longest psychiatric episode ever (it lasted almost six months and I thought it would NEVER end) and I had to do something while I was awake for several weeks on end. At the very beginning of the episode I hadn't slept in almost three weeks. Some of you might remember that episode because I was on CF a lot.

So I started exercising and moving around. Only I exercised too much and I couldnt walk for a week or so. That was fun lol.

Anyway, since then I've lost over 40 pounds (I'm about 356 now). But it feels like I have an eternity to go and honestly? I don't know what a good weight for me would be. I know I should ask a doctor this question. But my doctor who seriously got his doctorate out of a crackerjack box (ask my mom shes been a registered nurse for over 40 years and even agrees that hes a quack doctor) would probably pull out a BMI chart and tell me that I should be at maximum 160 pounds. Otherwise I'm "overweight".

Honestly? If I get down to 250 or even 300 pounds thatd be a miracle. Considering I've been well over 200 pounds since I was like 14 years old. I dont even REMEMBER a time when I was 160 pounds. My mom says I'm also big boned and have the body structure of a 230+ pound man and if I got down to 160 pounds I'd look like a stick. So idk. What is "healthy"? Is it more how much I exercise and take care of myself than my actual weight? Because prior to my episode I hadn't virtually walked and I lived on a computer or sat down on a school bus all day. I dont think I've virtually EVER exercised since I was like seven. That was twenty seven years ago! I know doctors these days tell you that being a pole is healthy but honestly? I dont think I could EVER get there (I'd have to lose almost 200 more pounds which would take at least 10+ years and require a large amount of exercising to burn off the 3k+ calories that I consume in a day. And two, I dont think I WANT to be a pole. I'm a big man and I have been virtually all my life. But I also want to be at a healthy weight or at least at a weight where I wont die before I'm 40.

I know I'll be with Christ and that'll be a happy event but, I've got a lot of work to do for God before I go home. I cant quite die yet. So... any ideas at where I should be at?

Sam91 · Jan 4, 2020

I think 180lbs sounds about right for most men.

My deceased partner was about 280 lbs and he got bowel cancer age 24. He died the day before his 27th birthday. His eating of the wrong foids, drinking sugary drinks and fairly sedentary lifestyle meant he succumbed sooner to his genetic risk. With his genes he had and 80% chance of getting bowel cancer in his lifetime and the average age was in the 40's.

So my advice would be forget about the exact number you need to lose. Set a target you think is doable for within the year. You can make new targets later.

Cut out sugar from your diet and eat healthier. Continue to build up activity into your life and enjoy doing it too. The effort will pay off as you start gaining more energy and strength. Stop worrying too much as stress is also bad for you. Exercise is good for stress but build in relaxing, non food, rewards and routines.

bèlla · Jan 4, 2020

That depends on different factors. My partners are typically 6’0 to 6’2 with a lean build and weigh 175-180 pounds.

There are several calculators on this site you can use for greater insight. I’d seek the Lord’s input. He may have a different number in mind.

~Bella

Lost4words · Jan 4, 2020

Cut your calories down. 3k is way too much my friend. Its all about sheer willpower. Its not easy.

Offer up your struggles to God. Take one day at a time. Whatever you do, do it for the love of Jesus.

May God bless you and give you the strength to beat the issues you have.

Neostarwcc · Jan 4, 2020

Sam91 said:
I think 180lbs sounds about right for most men.

My deceased partner was about 280 lbs and he got bowel cancer age 24. He died the day before his 27th birthday. His eating of the wrong foids, drinking sugary drinks and fairly sedentary lifestyle meant he succumbed sooner to his genetic risk. With his genes he had and 80% chance of getting bowel cancer in his lifetime and the average age was in the 40's.

So my advice would be forget about the exact number you need to lose. Set a target you think is doable for within the year. You can make new targets later.

Cut out sugar from your diet and eat healthier. Continue to build up activity into your life and enjoy doing it too. The effort will pay off as you start gaining more energy and strength. Stop worrying too much as stress is also bad for you. Exercise is good for stress but build in relaxing, non food, rewards and routines.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Oh yeah. Stress and anxiety. That's a big one too. Dont even get me started there lol. Im off the wall 99.9% of the day and I'm on all kinds of anti anxiety meds and tranquilizers for it (they work sometimes but not all the time and one of them is ativan which ofc is extremely addictive so there's always the chronic fear that I'll get addicted to it and bla bla bla. It goes on and on lol. My psychiatrist has tried to work around this fear but I almost always need ativanvto get through my day.

I've had panic disorder and chronic panic attacks since I was very young. About seven and a half or so.

I've told this on CF before but I suspect it's because my dad used to verbally and physically abuse me as a kid. He did it for a majority of my life (for over 20 years). My dad never knew I had panic disorder either and of course my mom didnt either because she never knew about my dads abuse until a few years ago when I told her. See eventually knew that I had panic disorder because she saw the symptoms in me but she nor the doctors nor really anyone else knew why because I was too afraid to talk about it for many, many years.

Plus the one time I did tell someone about it it was a teacher and she confronted my dad about it and that just made him hit me harder. So... I learned not to talk about it.

Anyway thanks for the advice! I'll try your tips! I'm trying to eat healthier now by cutting sugar and eating SOME healthy foods. Let's face it. Most of them are just plain disgusting. We're all going to die someday so why should I extend my life two years by eating completely disgusting foods? Lol

Neostarwcc · Jan 4, 2020

Lost4words said:
Cut your calories down. 3k is way too much my friend. Its all about sheer willpower. Its not easy.

Offer up your struggles to God. Take one day at a time. Whatever you do, do it for the love of Jesus.

May God bless you and give you the strength to beat the issues you have.

Not to argue or anything but 3k calories is not a lot for a man that weighs over 350 pounds. My calorie counter says that J should be eating 3200 calories to maintain my weight and 3k to lose weight. So I've been trying to get down to 3k. If I ate the quote on quote "normal" 2k calories I'd probably starve myself. Sure I'd probably lose like 30 pounds a week but is that really healthy weight loss? XD

Job3315 · Jan 4, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
My doctor has the IQ of a rasin. Don't even get me started on my psychiatrist either. But that's a completely other topic for another day.

Anyway back to my doctor and my problem. As some of you already know I'm morbidly obese. During my last episode that I had about a year and a half ago I weighed close to 400 pounds (about 398 or so). I got sick of not being able to move around, I didnt want to hit the next category of obesity and quite frankly? I didnt want to have a heart attack before I was 40 years old (I'm almost 34 now and I was approaching 33 at the time so had I kept gaining it would only be a matter of time.)

It isn't about if I'll have a heart attack. It's pretty much a guaranteed certainty and a matter of WHEN. I was so petrified that that episode was full of panic attacks and I had one every night and several times a day. (Yes I have panic disorder on top of bipolar/schizophrenia lol there's a lot of stuff wrong with me.)

And quite frankly? I got sick of my longest psychiatric episode ever (it lasted almost six months and I thought it would NEVER end) and I had to do something while I was awake for several weeks on end. At the very beginning of the episode I hadn't slept in almost three weeks. Some of you might remember that episode because I was on CF a lot.

So I started exercising and moving around. Only I exercised too much and I couldnt walk for a week or so. That was fun lol.

Anyway, since then I've lost over 40 pounds (I'm about 356 now). But it feels like I have an eternity to go and honestly? I don't know what a good weight for me would be. I know I should ask a doctor this question. But my doctor who seriously got his doctorate out of a crackerjack box (ask my mom shes been a registered nurse for over 40 years and even agrees that hes a quack doctor) would probably pull out a BMI chart and tell me that I should be at maximum 160 pounds. Otherwise I'm "overweight".

Honestly? If I get down to 250 or even 300 pounds thatd be a miracle. Considering I've been well over 200 pounds since I was like 14 years old. I dont even REMEMBER a time when I was 160 pounds. My mom says I'm also big boned and have the body structure of a 230+ pound man and if I got down to 160 pounds I'd look like a stick. So idk. What is "healthy"? Is it more how much I exercise and take care of myself than my actual weight? Because prior to my episode I hadn't virtually walked and I lived on a computer or sat down on a school bus all day. I dont think I've virtually EVER exercised since I was like seven. That was twenty seven years ago! I know doctors these days tell you that being a pole is healthy but honestly? I dont think I could EVER get there (I'd have to lose almost 200 more pounds which would take at least 10+ years and require a large amount of exercising to burn off the 3k+ calories that I consume in a day. And two, I dont think I WANT to be a pole. I'm a big man and I have been virtually all my life. But I also want to be at a healthy weight or at least at a weight where I wont die before I'm 40.

I know I'll be with Christ and that'll be a happy event but, I've got a lot of work to do for God before I go home. I cant quite die yet. So... any ideas at where I should be at?

You can find charts online where they tell you your ideal weight based on your height and body type. You search for weight chart for men.

Have you tried removing gluten from the diet? I removed gluten, sodas, candy and tap water from my diet and I lost a lot of weight because a lot of it was inflammation caused by those things.

Sam91 · Jan 4, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
I'm sorry for your loss.

Oh yeah. Stress and anxiety. That's a big one too. Dont even get me started there lol. Im off the wall 99.9% of the day and I'm on all kinds of anti anxiety meds and tranquilizers for it (they work sometimes but not all the time and one of them is ativan which ofc is extremely addictive so there's always the chronic fear that I'll get addicted to it and bla bla bla. It goes on and on lol. My psychiatrist has tried to work around this fear but I almost always need ativanvto get through my day.

I've had panic disorder and chronic panic attacks since I was very young. About seven and a half or so.

I've told this on CF before but I suspect it's because my dad used to verbally and physically abuse me as a kid. He did it for a majority of my life (for over 20 years). My dad never knew I had panic disorder either and of course my mom didnt either because she never knew about my dads abuse until a few years ago when I told her. See eventually knew that I had panic disorder because she saw the symptoms in me but she nor the doctors nor really anyone else knew why because I was too afraid to talk about it for many, many years.

Plus the one time I did tell someone about it it was a teacher and she confronted my dad about it and that just made him hit me harder. So... I learned not to talk about it.

Anyway thanks for the advice! I'll try your tips! I'm trying to eat healthier now by cutting sugar and eating SOME healthy foods. Let's face it. Most of them are just plain disgusting. We're all going to die someday so why should I extend my life two years by eating completely disgusting foods? Lol

Lol about the disgusting foods. Maybe your palette will change. I know I love healthy foods because they energise my body. When I eat junk I feel awful, tired, irritable and sluggish. It doesn't take much junk to feel that way. I have an underactive thyroid so am in a viscious cycle atm of not eating healthy because I've been too tired etc. Finally got a fridge big enough for my family so it is becoming a bit healthier. It's a battle though trying to get back to my old healthy lifestyle now that I've gained cravings for salt, sugar and fat.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jan 4, 2020

LaBèlla said:
My partners are typically 6’0 to 6’2

Don't let mehguy find out

Hazelelponi · Jan 4, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
My doctor has the IQ of a rasin. Don't even get me started on my psychiatrist either. But that's a completely other topic for another day.

Anyway back to my doctor and my problem. As some of you already know I'm morbidly obese. During my last episode that I had about a year and a half ago I weighed close to 400 pounds (about 398 or so). I got sick of not being able to move around, I didnt want to hit the next category of obesity and quite frankly? I didnt want to have a heart attack before I was 40 years old (I'm almost 34 now and I was approaching 33 at the time so had I kept gaining it would only be a matter of time.)

It isn't about if I'll have a heart attack. It's pretty much a guaranteed certainty and a matter of WHEN. I was so petrified that that episode was full of panic attacks and I had one every night and several times a day. (Yes I have panic disorder on top of bipolar/schizophrenia lol there's a lot of stuff wrong with me.)

And quite frankly? I got sick of my longest psychiatric episode ever (it lasted almost six months and I thought it would NEVER end) and I had to do something while I was awake for several weeks on end. At the very beginning of the episode I hadn't slept in almost three weeks. Some of you might remember that episode because I was on CF a lot.

So I started exercising and moving around. Only I exercised too much and I couldnt walk for a week or so. That was fun lol.

Anyway, since then I've lost over 40 pounds (I'm about 356 now). But it feels like I have an eternity to go and honestly? I don't know what a good weight for me would be. I know I should ask a doctor this question. But my doctor who seriously got his doctorate out of a crackerjack box (ask my mom shes been a registered nurse for over 40 years and even agrees that hes a quack doctor) would probably pull out a BMI chart and tell me that I should be at maximum 160 pounds. Otherwise I'm "overweight".

Honestly? If I get down to 250 or even 300 pounds thatd be a miracle. Considering I've been well over 200 pounds since I was like 14 years old. I dont even REMEMBER a time when I was 160 pounds. My mom says I'm also big boned and have the body structure of a 230+ pound man and if I got down to 160 pounds I'd look like a stick. So idk. What is "healthy"? Is it more how much I exercise and take care of myself than my actual weight? Because prior to my episode I hadn't virtually walked and I lived on a computer or sat down on a school bus all day. I dont think I've virtually EVER exercised since I was like seven. That was twenty seven years ago! I know doctors these days tell you that being a pole is healthy but honestly? I dont think I could EVER get there (I'd have to lose almost 200 more pounds which would take at least 10+ years and require a large amount of exercising to burn off the 3k+ calories that I consume in a day. And two, I dont think I WANT to be a pole. I'm a big man and I have been virtually all my life. But I also want to be at a healthy weight or at least at a weight where I wont die before I'm 40.

I know I'll be with Christ and that'll be a happy event but, I've got a lot of work to do for God before I go home. I cant quite die yet. So... any ideas at where I should be at?

First, congratulations on the 40lbs! Awesome achievement!

I know you should eat the caloric intake of the weight you want to be, but as your morbidly obese I would just worry less about goal weight and more about just eating healthy and continuing to lose weight.

With each pound you'll begin feeling better and better and then it gets easier and easier to continue...

I wouldn't target lower than 250 right now, and then just see where you are then and how your feeling about your weight...

My son is 5'11" and is at his ideal weight at 200-210, but he's solid muscle - and I mean solid muscle. Not an inch of fat on that boy, he scares even my husband.. lol

my husband on the other hand is taller (6'2") and lanky and lean, built like a young willow tree... and he feels heavy at 180, normally stays around 165-170 as a result.

so build has everything to do with weight.. so my recommendation is go to 250 and see how you feel then.. 150 lb. weight loss is HUGE, and your shooting right now for healthier, so thats a good guess where to stop for a while anyway and then reassess..

Neostarwcc · Jan 4, 2020

LaBèlla said:
That depends on different factors. My partners are typically 6’0 to 6’2 with a lean build and weigh 175-180 pounds.

There are several calculators on this site you can use for greater insight. I’d seek the Lord’s input. He may have a different number in mind.

~Bella

Okay this is a little weird. The calorie counter on that site says 3700 calories should maintain my weight because I'm a moderate 4-5 day a week exerciser but then it says I should lose weight at 3,200 calories and about a pound per week. That's awesome if it were true. Maybe it is and that's why I lost 40 pounds so far.

Holy crap it says I should be 160 pounds? I haven't been 160 pounds since I was a kid lol. Dunno if I'd EVER achieve that. But maybe it can be a goal I guess.

Greengardener · Jan 4, 2020

Congratulations! It's quite an accomplishment so far! I like the idea of building health over counting calories. Like shifting your thoughts a little along to realizing how good fruits and vegetables that have lots of color are for you, and how not good sugar and most fats are for you and learning to love what is really better for your body anyway. That alone has been shown in many cases to improve your mood, I've been told, and that's all the better for future successes in your health, on the scales and in your outlook. Keep up the good work!

bèlla · Jan 4, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
Okay this is a little weird. The calorie counter on that site says 3700 calories should maintain my weight because I'm a moderate 4-5 day a week exerciser but then it says I should lose weight at 3,200 calories and about a pound per week.

You may want to get a smartwatch like Fitbit. Seeing your movement is motivating. It has a feature that will send hourly reminders to the device to get you going. This id helpful if you need to pace yourself throughout the day.

Holy crap it says I should be 160 pounds? I haven't been 160 pounds since I was a kid lol. Dunno if I'd EVER achieve that. But maybe it can be a goal I guess.

Don’t say you can’t. Focus on the daily gains. If you need support, Sparkpeople is a great community. There are many who’ve lost significant weight and kept it off.

If you use Apple products, I recommend the Happy Scale app. And I posted a free food journal and paid options that may be of interest.

Ask for prayer. Add a request to the prayer wall and allow others to support your efforts. Don’t go it alone. Connect with others on the site who are pursuing a similar goal and encourage each other.

My friend and her husband were in your situation. You can turn things around with time and consistency.

~Bella

Lost4words · Jan 4, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
Not to argue or anything but 3k calories is not a lot for a man that weighs over 350 pounds. My calorie counter says that J should be eating 3200 calories to maintain my weight and 3k to lose weight. So I've been trying to get down to 3k. If I ate the quote on quote "normal" 2k calories I'd probably starve myself. Sure I'd probably lose like 30 pounds a week but is that really healthy weight loss? XD

Yea, you should aim for 2k calories or less. You are eating too much. You said yourself you are overweight so eating 3k is still way too much.

Hazelelponi · Jan 5, 2020

Lost4words said:
Yea, you should aim for 2k calories or less. You are eating too much. You said yourself you are overweight so eating 3k is still way too much.

It's too much for an ideal weight, but it's a caloric intake he's used to, and he can't loose too much weight too fast without serious health issues.

Experts recommend losing no more than 2 pounds a week, although a good nutritionist might allow 3 or 4 at his obesity level, that I don't know.

Top that off with slowly decreasing the amount of food your eating is an easier way to adjust physically to the change. I'll explain why.

Before I became disabled I was very thin but healthy. I had a very high metabolism coupled with an exceedingly high activity level.

I worked outside the home full time, ran a small farm raising cattle and chickens, had two kids, was on the PTA and the school board.. I was non-stop constantly either working or going or doing..

that necessitated some serious calories, while I never counted calories (I never needed to) it was all I could do everyday to eat enough to maintain a healthy weight, I was probably in the neighborhood of between 3-4 thousand calories everyday.

I became disabled and overnight all activity stopped - and I started gaining weight. I was concerned about it so I talked to my doctors and he told me I needed to tank my calories down to around 1 thousand a day.

Well first that was too low for my metabolism and with a nutritionist found I had a necessity of just under 1500 calories a day to maintain my previous healthy weight while disabled.

And quite frankly I was starving.. I was constantly hungry and that calorie level was exceedingly difficult to adjust to, just coming out of a caloric intake of more than double that..

I ended up deciding the extra food was worth a few extra pounds and ended up maintaining a weight increase of 20 pounds for around 2-3 hundred more calories per day.. it was my concession to stop feeling like I was being tortured.. lol..

I'm just saying that slow decreases are better, emotionally and physiologically.. all the way around. Slow decreases also give a greater chance of keeping lost weight off permanently instead of ending up yoyo dieting..

hedrick · Jan 5, 2020

I'm fairly sure evidence says that it's worth losing weight even if you don't get to your ideal weight.

mkdrive2 · Jan 5, 2020

I don't think you should make losing weight your highest priority. Make health your highest priority. It is true that with great obesity comes great risk, but for now focus on having a lifestyle that is as healthy as you can manage. Eat healthy food and do some exercise, but don't overdo it.

Joined2krist · Jan 6, 2020

I think anything from 170 to 190 is achievable. Good job so far

Jord Simcha · Jan 6, 2020

300 and 250 are both great goals/milestones to work towards, but I bet you feel the same about 200 or 220 once you've hit 249,5!!

Neostarwcc · Jan 6, 2020

hedrick said:
I'm fairly sure evidence says that it's worth losing weight even if you don't get to your ideal weight.

So if I got down to say 250 I would be in a lot better health and at not such a large heart attack risk?

Srry if it's a stupid question I didnt mean it that way. I mean you would think if I was physically active and not spent 16 hours a day in front of a computer screen that I'd be in a lot better health but apparently not. I mean me getting down to 250 pounds is a 150 pound weight loss. A lot of people in the world WEIGH that. Its q significant weight loss. But doctors act like if you arent at the "perfect" weight that you are automatically unhealthy and a heart attack waiting to happen. My grandfather was 230 pounds most of his life. He had two strokes during his life but that was mostly because he drank like a sailor. He lived to be 87 years old. So.. yeah...

I know I should be going to a doctor about this but...

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