• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

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i can't make myself love myself.

endure

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no matter how hard i try, i cant love myself.
i know im saved, i have the knowledge of where i stand in Christ.
but i just cannot stop feeling that the way people think of me and my actions is all that i am.
i live to please everyone else, but dont know how to live my own life.
i deal with the symptoms, but i havent yet killed the root of the problem because those fruits keep coming back.

pray for that this spirit be defeated. i know its more than just an area of my mind.
help me cast him down.

no manner of good thinking will help, ive done that, i try to convince myself to love myself becuase of all these reasons, but it isnt enough, i need to be set free from this heavy yoke.






 
 

Mr.Cheese

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I've gotten to where I'm comfortable with who I am.
How did I get here?
I have no idea. I don't like myself really, but I'm cool with who I am. I think you just get there when you get there.
The biggest mistake you can make at your age when you're trying to figure things out is to let God slip out of the picture. I made that mistake.
Stick with Him and stuff gets worked out when it's time to get worked out.
 
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MyangelDems

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I didn't like myself very much either a year ago, usually people who feel this way have been treated badly by someone they trusted, usually they've been betrayed by them too. I've only just now begin to like myself, some days I manage to love myself. To fix it I had to go back and figure out what someone did that I let affect the way I felt about myself, because 9 times out of 10, it is something that someone has done, you might not have even thought it was very bad at the time, but things have a way of piling up, and if you think about it, if everytime someone made you feel like you didn't deserve love, you find yourself thinking that youre not lovable or there must be nothing to like about you. Personally, it wasn't a spirit afflicting me, in a way, it was my past and memories that needed a fixing. I just had to dig into myself and face some things...and then let them go. I truly had to give every pain, every wound ever inflicted from childhood to now to God, and to remind myself every day that God loves me, if God gave His only Son to save me, He must have seen something worth loving in me. Don't know if this will help you, just telling you my experience. Sometimes its not your spirit thats afflicting you, its the spirits of others who have harmed you in some way trying to afflict you, even years and years down the line. I'll keep you in my prayers, just know that I love you and wish you the best and I truly pray that you never again feel worthless or unlovable. God loves you, you can stand on that promise...but you can also rest in it.
 
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OracleX

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Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.


God has made you. Christ has saved you. The Holy Spirit indwells in you. We all have things in our lives that knock us down, but never forget Who created you and Who is at work in you. Many times we fail to love ourselves because of things we have done. We live our lives in guilt and shame, letting it tare us up. Don't allow guilt and shame to hide what God has made you. The forgiveness of God can reach to all areas of our lives if we let Him. 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Whatever it is in your life that causes you to feel like you can't love yourself, cast it on Him. Listen for what God is saying about you through His Word and through the Holy Spirit. Ask Him for forgiveness and ask Him to help you forgive yourself. Forgiving ourself can be very difficult to do, but until it is done, Satan will have a field day with the guilt and shame you harbor in your life.

I will remember you in prayer. Here are some passages that I pray will take hold in your heart.

God bless.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Psalms 42:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

Psalms 107:9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalms 34:8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Romans 15:13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

Titus 3:4-5 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;


edited for missing tags
 
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I didn't like myself very much until a couple of years ago. I kinda got over it. Maybe cause I use comedy as a release for myself and when people laugh at me or my jokes it makes me feel good. You basically have to reprogram your mind too. It is hard and takes a lot of time, but in the end you can be proud of what you have accomplished. I sometimes find that I don't like myself, but it is because I want to push myself harder and harder to be a better person in Christ. I know I am never going to be where I want to be in my relationship with Christ, cause I am a fleshly being, but I can elimimate things that stand in my way of living a bondage free life with Him. Maybe look at the bigger picture. How do you view yourself? Are you constantly putting yourself down or are other people? You cannot allow others determine your worth.
 
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HesMyAll

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Do I like myself?...never really thought about it.  Am I happy being who I am...most assuredly!  And I became happy with who I am when I stopped living to please other people and started living to please God and myself.  As long as I am not offending my Lord and Saviour I don't much care what any body else thinks about me because in the long run, only God's opinion will matter.

I will pray that you will find the peace that God wants you to have and to learn to be happy just being you.
 
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You are unique, dear one.  That is what makes you priceless.  The Lord will never, ever replace you.  Though He has millions more children, each one wonderful, none exactly like you!!!  Never give up your  'uniqueness' in order to be what you admire in someone else.  Glean all you can from everyone, but duplicate none.  You are too priceless as an orginal to be reduced to a cheap copy!!

Perhaps you do not understand what an amazing jewel of a person you are.  The Lord created you for a purpose that only you can fulfill.  Pay attention now! Have you yet realized how intensely God loves you?  In spite of your afflictions, He loves you!  The Father sweeps you up into His arms and clutches you.  He holds your head to His breast, your ear to His heart.  He has held you through the pains of life.  It may have been a long ride, but He is still holding on.

Perhaps you have asked the Father for something, and He didn't do what you thought He should have done.  Perhaps you are disappointed that He didn't show up in the way you thought He would.  Before you feel unloveable, take a moment and think.  Isn't there evidence in your life that, from time to time, He has brought you through a storm?  Don't you dare act as if the Father doesn't love you just because He doesn't always cater to you.  Perhaps you should be glad for the love He has already shown and the night rides He has already carried you through.  That love constantly affirms your uniqueness.

You see, our society has spent so much time critizing differences that we fail to see God in diversity.  He never made two snowflakes alike.  He wants us to be different.  Different doesn't mean less than or more than ~ just different.

If God hadn't made you as He did, you wouldn't have been able to persevere as you have.  There are many people who couldn't take what you have been through.  God wants to use  you in a unique way to be a blessing to those around you.  Remember, people are blessed when you are sincere ~ not perfect, just sincere.

Don't let anyone manipulate you into forsaking your own uniqueness.  Those people weren't built for your life's destiny, and they can't play your role.  Aren't you glad that God prepared you for life instead of preparing life for you?  So, whether life is ready for you or not, you are ready for it!!!!

I, myself, have struggled with these thoughts; thinking of myself as 'ugly' or 'imperfect' because of all my 'faults and failures'.  Now I know that God chose 'me' for who I am...not what I think I ought to be.  I have learned to 'delight' in the fact that HE LOVES ME...so I must be loveable.

Don't sell yourself short.  You are 'one of a kind' and you are 'special'...no matter what others 'think' of you...God thinks you are 'worth the effort'. 

Hang in there...don't give up!  You (and I) are a 'work' in progress.

 
 
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endure

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thankyou all for replying to my message and caring so much for me. i really appreciate it.

please pray for me,
i really dont think this something i need to realise, i know who i am in Christ, i know that God loves me, i know that for me to not love myself is to not love what God loves, i know i have no reason to be this way, but i dont believe this is something that teaching and realisation can fix.
thankyou for the scriptures that really helps.

but please pray, i dont think this is completely natural, this is spiritual and i am not resisting natural thoughts but spiritual forces.
please continue to pray.

its like paul told timothy
"God has not given us a spirit of fear..."
fear isnt always a natural deception or impulse, sometimes you can realise something and just break it.
but sometimes fear is a spirit.
i truely believe things like depression, fear, cowardice, etc.
can often be deeply spiritually rooted, and it takes prayer and the Holyghost to overcome. there are many things, that cannot be overcome in the realm of the mind.

for example,
one time a friend of myne who works in the prophetic gift, told me he he could see a serpent wrapped around my neck.

im not overly spiritual, but we have no reason not believe this, and from my own walk with God i can test the spirits and know what to recieve and what not to.
and this is just an example of how many things, will never be won in the realm of the mind.
 
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endure

Could you expand on this person seeing a serpent around your neck? And when you say "test the spirits," what do you mean?

It sounds like you feel that you must please people all the time, even though you want to think about yourself. Sometime this happens when you've been around a person close to you (such as a parent) who has constantly demanded that you cater to their interests and ignore yours for a long time. They may have made you feel guilty when you do try to please yourself. Do you think this applies to you?
 
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endure

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when i told about my friend seeing a serpent around my kneck, all i was trying to say was sometimes there are issues that we cannot know in our minds, are not rooted in our minds, and cannot be dealt with in our minds, but that they are spiritual and can only be dealt with through spiritual means.

when i refered to testing the spirits, i was refering to a statement by the apostle when he said we must have the ability to discern whether or not a word is from God or not.
i was simply saying i have the ability to know whether something someone says to me is of God, or it is not.
it isnt some kind of specail gift that i have, its just that as you grow up in the lord and mature, you can begin to sense many truths and lies as you are lead of the spirit.
 
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endure

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psychmajor

i just do not believe that the problem i have is one that is linked in things like bad relationships and things like that that have trained me to act or think a certain way.
im not superspiritual, and i agree that what you speak of happens, but i dont agree that that is what my problem is.
well, maybe that does play a part, but i dont think focusing on those areas is the key.

dave,
well,
as i said before, i believe it is simply that there are areas of my life that are still held captive by the enemy.
i believe im having this trouble becuase of an spirit opressing me, or has some hold on my life.
i know that is way to vague and unexplained and sounds really cooky, but just flat out, thats what i beleive it is.

just pray, i really dont want to discuss this a whole lot.
if you want to help me, just pray.
 
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ZiSunka

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Resist, resist, resist!

When those thoughts of worthlessness come into your head, put them out! Snuff 'em like a candle. Distract yourself, actively work against it, find something else to think about. Counter those thoughts with the word of God. Write down verses about how much He values you, and dwell on them. When you feel the negative thoughts coming on, resist and replace them with those verses.

It's up to you to resist the enemy.
 
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SpiritPsalmist

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28th March 2003 at 03:36 PM endure said this in Post #1

no matter how hard i try, i cant love myself.
i know im saved, i have the knowledge of where i stand in Christ.
but i just cannot stop feeling that the way people think of me and my actions is all that i am.
i live to please everyone else, but dont know how to live my own life.
i deal with the symptoms, but i havent yet killed the root of the problem because those fruits keep coming back.

pray for that this spirit be defeated. i know its more than just an area of my mind.
help me cast him down.

no manner of good thinking will help, ive done that, i try to convince myself to love myself becuase of all these reasons, but it isnt enough, i need to be set free from this heavy yoke. 

 

endure,

The best advise I can give is to get your eyes onto Jesus.  He is the Author and the Finisher of our faith.  He is the Alpha and Omega.  He is the One Who faithfully sees through to the end what He has started in you.

There is an old song titled "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus".  It goes like this. . . .

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His Glory and Grace."

There's also another one.  It says, "I see Love, Mercy, and Grace.  I see Love, Mercy, and Grace.  I look at Your features, emagine Your face.  I see Love, Mercy, and Grace."

Put on some praise and worship music, and praise and worship away.  When we choose to look only at Him, then our vision of everything, including ourselves changes. 




 
 
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hugoguttman

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Hey Endure:
Jesus Christ has given to you the power to DESTROY snakes and Scorpions!!!
They all have been defeated!!! They are all defeated!!! Dont let them make you less than a God´s Son!!! Jesus has defeated the world, so dont be afraid.
Do you know where do you stand in Jesus? Then why do you have doubts? Do you believe you can destroy every opressor spirit in you in the name of Jesus? Do you? Then, DESTROY THEM!!!!
God says HE LOVES YOU ENDURE...
Hugo.
 
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panterapat

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Are you smarter than God???

God loves you. If you were the only person on earth, Jesus would have died for you alone.

So if God can love you so much you better follow His lead and love yourself as a child of God. Become a reflection of His love for you.
 
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