Best dating app/site for online dating?

SingularityOne said:

What do you mean by active? Just group activities with anyone, or? There isn’t an OCF in town sadly...

Christian Mingle is $50/month and eHarmony is $30/month. Same as a rock-climbing membership per month.

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Like...seeing friends, game nights, public concerts...improv groups...public showings of movies in parks...

Also, contra dance? If you're fit enough to do rock climbing, you may survive contra dance...

Contra dance - Wikipedia

I have tried online dating and would advise you to dramatically temper your expectations. The medium makes people unrealistically picky. If you are a man, expect to be ignored unless you are in the top 20% in terms of looks.

Proceed with care - an extremely thick skin is mandatory.

You get a nice Orthodox girl and play “Desperado” on the radio.

ArmyMatt said:

I would agree with archer to be more active.

since you are 24 and still college age, why not try through a local OCF?

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SingularityOne said:

Been thinking between eHarmony or Christian Mingle since the Orthodox sites have such a small user base. What would y’all advise in regards to online dating?

OrthodoxCircle was hardly being used along with OrthodoxAndSingle. Tried both without any luck.

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I think there was an OrthodoxChristianDating at one point that may still be up. Don't know if it's still around though.

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I think if you connect with someone online is great. I’m the type to really invest in someone, so they gotta be pretty special for me to want to do that online and that takes some real honesty between both people. I think if it’s God’s plan than it can definitely be successful. Pray about it. Hope you find what you are looking for bro.

Man...if I was 24 and in college (well, I was at one time, but y'know...), you wouldn't be able to stop me from going out as much as possible! Seriously, my friend, do it now...there'll never be a better time to get out there! Yes to rock climbing, yes to meeting activities, yes to everything that gets you out there in a big mix of people.

Meeting new people (especially new single people) does not get easier with time. At a certain point, a great many people who are still available will make it abundantly obvious why that is so. And that's not a knock on them or anything...I mean, I'm in the very group I'm writing about...but the point is, you're in a really good spot right now, so maybe it's better to live it than to overly plan it. That's not to say "Go do stupid things" (obviously), but as they say, perfection is the enemy of good.

archer75 said:

Don't date online, but try to be more active?

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Yeah, online is the only option if you want someone who is also orthodox. I got to a thriving (and I mean THRIVING) parish. We have a good number of young adults (many who Ive gotten to know and who over time Ive become friends with). That said, Almost all of them are married, male, or FAR outside an acceptable age difference. There just isn't the opportunity to meet people in person unless you go to conferences. Even then its hard to keep in touch with them afterwords simply because of the distance. It takes enormous effort on both peoples parts, more effort than its probably healthy to put forward with someone you've met in person once.

This is just my experience, but being more active isn't going to help much. I have a full life, I spend time out with people multiple times a week, I'm trying new hobbies, I am involved at my parish, I'm not someone just sitting at home. But none of that is bringing me one single inch closer to meeting a future spouse, simply because I'm only looking for someone who shares my faith(orthodoxy). They may be great people, and Ive made friends, very good friends, but when it comes to seeking a spouse it simply isn't enough if your looking for someone orthodox.

I'll be honest, there isn't a solution to the problem. Online dating in general is a cesspool and the low numbers on orthodox sites make it even worse sometimes. Lack of opportunity to meet anyone at all is a problem, and just because an person is orthodox doesn't me we are a match, it just means we might be. Ive more or less given up all hope. I'll keep putting myself out there, but actually meeting someone would impress me more than the literal raising of the dead.

Coolbutclueless said:

Yeah, online is the only option if you want someone who is also orthodox. I got to a thriving (and I mean THRIVING) parish. We have a good number of young adults (many who Ive gotten to know and who over time Ive become friends with). That said, Almost all of them are married, male, or FAR outside an acceptable age difference. There just isn't the opportunity to meet people in person unless you go to conferences. Even then its hard to keep in touch with them afterwords simply because of the distance. It takes enormous effort on both peoples parts, more effort than its probably healthy to put forward with someone you've met in person once.

This is just my experience, but being more active isn't going to help much. I have a full life, I spend time out with people multiple times a week, I'm trying new hobbies, I am involved at my parish, I'm not someone just sitting at home. But none of that is bringing me one single inch closer to meeting a future spouse, simply because I'm only looking for someone who shares my faith(orthodoxy). They may be great people, and Ive made friends, very good friends, but when it comes to seeking a spouse it simply isn't enough if your looking for someone orthodox.

I'll be honest, there isn't a solution to the problem. Online dating in general is a cesspool and the low numbers on orthodox sites make it even worse sometimes. Lack of opportunity to meet anyone at all is a problem, and just because an person is orthodox doesn't me we are a match, it just means we might be. Ive more or less given up all hope. I'll keep putting myself out there, but actually meeting someone would impress me more than the literal raising of the dead.

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I sympathize, but still, I don't see why you're limiting your options more than necessary. There's tons of other Christians out there that the OC would marry you to, and any one of them might come to share your faith.

archer75 said:

I sympathize, but still, I don't see why you're limiting your options more than necessary. There's tons of other Christians out there that the OC would marry you to, and any one of them might come to share your faith.

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Its something Ive thought about a lot. The reasons are really simple. I converted to the faith after a VERY long and hard search. I fully believe that the church is the fullest expression of the christian faith. When I have kids they will be raised in the church and hopefully they can start from a better place than I did. At some point the faith still has to become their own but they will have a great head start.

Being orthodox, it different than other denominations, sometimes people who have been orthodox for a long time or grew up in it either don't know or forgotten how different. There is no dogma in protestant Christianity (not in any meaningful sense). Its not that protestants are bad or arn't truly seeking God, they are and I was when I was one. That said their faith is incomplete, and fundamentally incomparable with mine.

Its hard to be orthodox, the fasting is trying, services are longer, but its worth it. I spend more time driving to church than in services at this point, most of my friends who arn't orthodox don't understand why. But for me its not an option. When I think about why I'm orthodox, why I keep traveling, why I keep trying. I always think back to the response the disciples give Jesus in John 6.

66 From that time many of His disciples went p]">[p]back and walked with Him no more. 67 Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?”

68 But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 Also we have come to believe and know that You are the q]">[q]Christ, the Son of the living God.”

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I don't want to marry someone I can't even have communion with. More than that they need to be on the same page about what marriage is. Your right in that someone might come to share my faith, but thats a really unhealthy way to date. Think of it this way. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, we would all agree that it would be unhealthy for me to date someone who smokes a pack a day (at which point just being near her would cause my eyes to water and nose to run) in the hopes that she would give up smoking. Smoking doesn't make her a bad person but it makes her incompatible with me and I'm not going into a relationship knowing the other person has to change some major part of their life in order for it to work.