Modesty among clothing and other areas

createdtoworship · Dec 20, 2019

Having a teen age daughter, conversations come up alot about modesty. I, as a male take notice of immodest clothes. Some may say...."why are you looking?' And I try not to, and in fact am getting better at it, but that is why I created this thread to discuss our options. I realized everyone is someone's daughter. I was just on social media and I saw these beautiful wedding pictures, I mean they were magazine material. And I went to her profile to see more of them, and Her dress was see through lace around the breast area. I was like....wow....too much there. So I closed it out but I realized as I was closing out on her profile it said "lover of Jesus." Now I know none of us like to hear that what we are doing is wrong. I think we can judge people for their clothing in an judgy non christian way. I don't want to do that here. There is all sorts of things I do myself that are wrong. Believe me when I say I am not perfect, I am far from perfect. In fact I am broken regularly over my numerous flaws. But that is another point. But You would be surprised the amount of christian women I have to block on social media due to immodesty. I know that when someone wears something immodest, that people take notice. And this is empowering to those who engage in immodesty. Culture, TV, news and movies all are engrossed in immodesty. I think women get addicted to attention, as do men. And there is a reason for this, it's because even the most beautiful women know every physical flaw of their bodies and don't technically think they are beautiful. They don't see themselves as God sees them. This results in a host of issues, mental issues, eating disorders. Etc. So I guess this thread is to talk about immodesty, but also the things that feed immodest behavior. And men, yes you are the consumers of the product of immodesty (and can be immodest yourselves). But if no one consumed it, people would not manufacture it. So we can all do this christian thing much better. But I think, seeing ourselves as children of God primarily, that we don't need to impress people. God is our father, God died for our sins. God saw every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every roll of flab, and He died for that. So we need to see ourselves as God sees us.

Update:
Men love women who are only immodest with them in private. The treasure of knowing no one else gets to see the prize is the biggest reward.

If you wanna stand out in today’s society, all you gotta do is be modest. We did a complete 180 flip in less than 50 years.

I thought I would update the op with some modest bathingsuits that me and my family use...

Tone · Dec 20, 2019

createdtoworship said:
Having a teen age daughter, conversations come up alot about modesty. I, as a male take notice of immodest clothes. Some may say...."why are you looking?' And I try not to, and in fact am getting better at it, but that is why I created this thread to discuss our options. I realized everyone is someone's daughter. I was just on social media and I saw these beautiful wedding pictures, I mean they were magazine material. And I went to her profile to see more of them, and Her dress was see through lace around the breast area. I was like....wow....too much there. So I closed it out but I realized as I was closing out on her profile it said "lover of Jesus." Now I know none of us like to hear that what we are doing is wrong. I think we can judge people for their clothing in an judgy non christian way. I don't want to do that here. There is all sorts of things I do myself that are wrong. Believe me when I say I am not perfect, I am far from perfect. In fact I broken regularly over my numerous flaws. But that is another point. But You would be surprised the amount of christian women I have to block on social media due to immodesty. I know that when someone wears something immodest, that people take notice. And this is empowering to those who engage in immodesty. Culture, TV, news and movies all are engrossed in immodesty. I think women get addicted to attention, as do men. And there is a reason for this, it's because even the most beautiful women know every physical flaw of their bodies and don't technically think they are beautiful. They don't see themselves as God sees them. This results in a host of issues, mental issues, eating disorders. Etc. So I guess this thread is to talk about immodesty, but also the things that feed immodest behavior. And men, yes you are the consumers of the product of immodesty (and can be immodest yourselves). But if no one consumed it, people would not manufacture it. So we can all do this christian thing much better. But I think, seeing ourselves as children of God primarily, that we don't need to impress people. God is our father, God died for our sins. God saw every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every roll of flab, and He died for that. So we need to see ourselves as God sees us.

Yoga wear...

*not fair...

now faith · Dec 20, 2019

Trying to cover flaws in your body , and being seductive are two different things.
I tend to wonder about Pastors who are over zealous about modesty.
I tend to wonder about people ,men or women who tend to always find a way to show more than normal.
A mistake can be unintended with a wedding gown.
So I would not care, due to it being the most important thing in a young lady's life, besides salvation.
I think if we are to discern such things, we should look for patterns of behavior, rather than one indiscretion.
I have adult Children that due to a overly legal private school , will not go to Church.
I would not allow my kids to dress worldly, but I did not have a issiue with their knees showing.

bèlla · Dec 20, 2019

Beauty rarely goes unnoticed. Whether we’re addressing people, cars, art, etc. Loveliness catches our eye.

In respect to attire, modesty never crosses my mind. My focus is silhouette and hue. I’m looking for pieces which enhance my beauty. Not seductively or hidden beneath a mountain of fabric. I’d look ridiculous.

Since fashion design is my calling, I’ve decided to leave the matter in God’s lap. If He thinks something isn’t appropriate I trust the Holy Spirit will say so. I’m not going to overthink this or subject myself to a stranger’s scrutiny.

I think modesty is an outgrowth of other values. I never addressed the subject with my daughter. It wasn’t necessary. She received etiquette instruction and had visible examples at home and in her family. I emphasized the necessity of being a lady over hemlines. That’s where it starts.

~Bella

createdtoworship · Dec 20, 2019

Tone said:
Yoga wear...

*not fair...

now faith said:
Trying to cover flaws in your body , and being seductive are two different things.
I tend to wonder about Pastors who are over zealous about modesty.
I tend to wonder about people ,men or women who tend to always find a way to show more than normal.
A mistake can be unintended with a wedding gown.
So I would not care, due to it being the most important thing in a young lady's life, besides salvation.
I think if we are to discern such things, we should look for patterns of behavior, rather than one indiscretion.
I have adult Children that due to a overly legal private school , will not go to Church.
I would not allow my kids to dress worldly, but I did not have a issiue with their knees showing.

LaBèlla said:
Beauty rarely goes unnoticed. Whether we’re addressing people, cars, art, etc. Loveliness catches our eye.

In respect to attire, modesty never crosses my mind. My focus is silhouette and hue. I’m looking for pieces which enhance my beauty. Not seductively or hidden beneath a mountain of fabric. I’d look ridiculous.

Since fashion design is my calling, I’ve decided to leave the matter in God’s lap. If He thinks something isn’t appropriate I trust the Holy Spirit will say so. I’m not going to overthink this or subject myself to a stranger’s scrutiny.

I think modesty is an outgrowth of other values. I never addressed the subject with my daughter. It wasn’t necessary. She received etiquette instruction and had visible examples at home and in her family. I emphasized the necessity of being a lady over hemlines. That’s where it starts.

~Bella

interesting discussion. I was thinking of the problems of eating disorders among young women and and the pressures to look a certain sexy way over ....say....what scripture says. Men too....going to the gym every day to look a certain way, tight shirts and jeans. It's a cultural thing. And I believe we are sabotaging the youth by embracing everything the culture throws at us instead of fighting it. I am tempted as well to be immodest. I have lost a bunch of weight this last year and am fitting in to some of my older clothes. There is one shirt that I love, but it's a little tight. I can see teens and college age students wearing tight stuff, so I was asking my wife...."is this too tight?" Knowing the answer already....yes it was. But I was tempted to be immodest. And I know that we can all do better rejecting that temptation and doing what the Lord desires in our life.

createdtoworship · Dec 20, 2019

LaBèlla said:
Beauty rarely goes unnoticed. Whether we’re addressing people, cars, art, etc. Loveliness catches our eye.

In respect to attire, modesty never crosses my mind. My focus is silhouette and hue. I’m looking for pieces which enhance my beauty. Not seductively or hidden beneath a mountain of fabric. I’d look ridiculous.

Since fashion design is my calling, I’ve decided to leave the matter in God’s lap. If He thinks something isn’t appropriate I trust the Holy Spirit will say so. I’m not going to overthink this or subject myself to a stranger’s scrutiny.

I think modesty is an outgrowth of other values. I never addressed the subject with my daughter. It wasn’t necessary. She received etiquette instruction and had visible examples at home and in her family. I emphasized the necessity of being a lady over hemlines. That’s where it starts.

~Bella

sounds like you have a good eye for modesty.

Aussie Pete · Dec 20, 2019

createdtoworship said:
Having a teen age daughter, conversations come up alot about modesty. I, as a male take notice of immodest clothes. Some may say...."why are you looking?' And I try not to, and in fact am getting better at it, but that is why I created this thread to discuss our options. I realized everyone is someone's daughter. I was just on social media and I saw these beautiful wedding pictures, I mean they were magazine material. And I went to her profile to see more of them, and Her dress was see through lace around the breast area. I was like....wow....too much there. So I closed it out but I realized as I was closing out on her profile it said "lover of Jesus." Now I know none of us like to hear that what we are doing is wrong. I think we can judge people for their clothing in an judgy non christian way. I don't want to do that here. There is all sorts of things I do myself that are wrong. Believe me when I say I am not perfect, I am far from perfect. In fact I am broken regularly over my numerous flaws. But that is another point. But You would be surprised the amount of christian women I have to block on social media due to immodesty. I know that when someone wears something immodest, that people take notice. And this is empowering to those who engage in immodesty. Culture, TV, news and movies all are engrossed in immodesty. I think women get addicted to attention, as do men. And there is a reason for this, it's because even the most beautiful women know every physical flaw of their bodies and don't technically think they are beautiful. They don't see themselves as God sees them. This results in a host of issues, mental issues, eating disorders. Etc. So I guess this thread is to talk about immodesty, but also the things that feed immodest behavior. And men, yes you are the consumers of the product of immodesty (and can be immodest yourselves). But if no one consumed it, people would not manufacture it. So we can all do this christian thing much better. But I think, seeing ourselves as children of God primarily, that we don't need to impress people. God is our father, God died for our sins. God saw every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every roll of flab, and He died for that. So we need to see ourselves as God sees us.

It's from the pit of hell. It's amazing hypocrisy also. Not that long ago, feminists complained that they were treated like sex objects. Now many women have become exactly what they were complaining about.

createdtoworship · Dec 20, 2019

Aussie Pete said:
It's from the pit of hell. It's amazing hypocrisy also. Not that long ago, feminists complained that they were treated like sex objects. Now many women have become exactly what they were complaining about.

it comes from brokenness I believe. Last week when I wanted to wear a tight shirt, it was because I cared more about the attention from others than the attention God gives. God will give us all the attention we need. Believe me. I have been trying this new tactic in prayer, I pray for literally everything. I ask God what to do every day all day. And He has plenty to say. He is never burdened by my request, nor does it struggle Him to reply. But to seek His attention all the more, is what I desire. Not the attention from the world.

Sabertooth · Dec 20, 2019

For my two older daughters, the rule for swimsuits was "If you can't wear it in front of Dad, you shouldn't wear it anywhere else."

I am the guardian/caregiver for my youngest daughter [25, mental age = 18mos.]. In my duties, I see her in all stages of undress, as is necessary. I have gotten very relaxed about bathing & toileting, and underwear as I help her to get dressed/re-dressed.

After all of that, I still get embarrassed when she is fully dressed and accidentally flashes her cleavage at me...!

Rescued One · Dec 20, 2019

I've always highly valued modesty and have rarely been in a church where all the members didn't dress modestly. I came from a family of non-Christians. My mother didn't like to spend much money on clothes., she wore lipstick but she never wore eye make-up, and didn't wear high heels. My father was very concerned about clothing and make-up. He bought expensive clothes for himself and drove an expensive car. After my parents diivorced, he married a fashion conscious woman who wore spike heels, jewelry and make-up (she looked for clothing that was impressive but not overly expensive). My sister encouraged my girls to rebel and they gave us a hard time as teenagers. We moved to another state. I like nice clothes. I don't dress like a conservative Mennonite, but I know my clothing is modest and not quite as boring as my mother's was. When she worked as a typist, she always wore a pullover and a solid color A-line skirt. She sometimes wore a necklace.

grasping the after wind · Dec 20, 2019

Do people ever ask themselves and honestly answer the question "Why is it that I want to wear this?" ?

pdudgeon · Dec 20, 2019

createdtoworship said:
Having a teen age daughter, conversations come up alot about modesty. I, as a male take notice of immodest clothes. Some may say...."why are you looking?' And I try not to, and in fact am getting better at it, but that is why I created this thread to discuss our options. I realized everyone is someone's daughter. I was just on social media and I saw these beautiful wedding pictures, I mean they were magazine material. And I went to her profile to see more of them, and Her dress was see through lace around the breast area. I was like....wow....too much there. So I closed it out but I realized as I was closing out on her profile it said "lover of Jesus." Now I know none of us like to hear that what we are doing is wrong. I think we can judge people for their clothing in an judgy non christian way. I don't want to do that here. There is all sorts of things I do myself that are wrong. Believe me when I say I am not perfect, I am far from perfect. In fact I am broken regularly over my numerous flaws. But that is another point. But You would be surprised the amount of christian women I have to block on social media due to immodesty. I know that when someone wears something immodest, that people take notice. And this is empowering to those who engage in immodesty. Culture, TV, news and movies all are engrossed in immodesty. I think women get addicted to attention, as do men. And there is a reason for this, it's because even the most beautiful women know every physical flaw of their bodies and don't technically think they are beautiful. They don't see themselves as God sees them. This results in a host of issues, mental issues, eating disorders. Etc. So I guess this thread is to talk about immodesty, but also the things that feed immodest behavior. And men, yes you are the consumers of the product of immodesty (and can be immodest yourselves). But if no one consumed it, people would not manufacture it. So we can all do this christian thing much better. But I think, seeing ourselves as children of God primarily, that we don't need to impress people. God is our father, God died for our sins. God saw every wrinkle, every stretch mark, every roll of flab, and He died for that. So we need to see ourselves as God sees us.

You've hit several nails right square on in your post above. Well done!

Sabertooth · Dec 20, 2019

grasping the after wind said:
Do people ever ask themselves and honestly answer the question "Why is it that I want to wear this?" ?

Again for my daughters, I wanted them to be adequately covered, but I didn't want them to overheat in the summer. (That is an extension of "Love your neighbor as you love yourself.")

Aussie Pete · Dec 20, 2019

createdtoworship said:
it comes from brokenness I believe. Last week when I wanted to wear a tight shirt, it was because I cared more about the attention from others than the attention God gives. God will give us all the attention we need. Believe me. I have been trying this new tactic in prayer, I pray for literally everything. I ask God what to do every day all day. And He has plenty to say. He is never burdened by my request, nor does it struggle Him to reply. But to seek His attention all the more, is what I desire. Not the attention from the world.

Good for you.

Sabertooth · Dec 20, 2019

createdtoworship said:
Some may say...."why are you looking?' And I try not to,...

That criticism is unrealistic. It is one thing if you actively invade her privacy. It is quite another when she makes it a public display. We guys are going to notice [stuff] and I, for one, make no apologies for that.

In my youngest daughter's case, I just help her find some clothes to put on.

Archivist · Dec 20, 2019

We do have a double standard. Guys can go topless in many places, but if a woman shows the slightest bit of cleavage some consider it to be immodest. People forget that a century ago the male bathing suit also included a top.

createdtoworship · Dec 20, 2019

I would welcome clothing recommendations. I for one always swim with a top on. Usually use rash guards. But for example tank tops for girls with large arm holes that reveal bra lines etc. Spaghetti straps, etc. Shirts too short and reveal stomach. I don't think you can get away from tight fitting always, but if you can, even better. But for now even if we just tried to at least cover up some skin, we would be making progress. But it is hypocritical to ask a women not to wear a bikini, if a man is wearing no shirt. So this is for all of us.

Sabertooth · Dec 20, 2019

Unless she doesn't have much [junk] in the first place, her [junk] isn't going to go away. In that sense, modesty is a negotiation.

For me, the public minimum is gym shorts and a sports bra, but I don't think that we all would agree about that.

Paidiske · Dec 20, 2019

grasping the after wind said:
Do people ever ask themselves and honestly answer the question "Why is it that I want to wear this?" ?

Much of the time, I find myself making choices which are more modest than I personally feel necessary (eg. ankle length skirts when I would be fine with below-the-knee), because I am concerned about what other people will think of me/how they will react. So I make clothing choices to pre-empt the judgement of others. I do get tired of constantly feeling like everything I wear is being judged and inferences drawn about my character. I wish we could build a society where there was less of that... I am not sure that discussions like this help women to feel like we're not constantly being judged negatively

createdtoworship · Dec 20, 2019

Sabertooth said:
Unless she doesn't have much [junk] in the first place, her [junk] isn't going to go away. In that sense, modesty is a negotiation.

For me, the public minimum is gym shorts and a sports bra, but I don't think that we all would agree about that.

Paidiske said:
Much of the time, I find myself making choices which are more modest than I personally feel necessary (eg. ankle length skirts when I would be fine with below-the-knee), because I am concerned about what other people will think of me/how they will react. So I make clothing choices to pre-empt the judgement of others. I do get tired of constantly feeling like everything I wear is being judged and inferences drawn about my character. I wish we could build a society where there was less of that... I am not sure that discussions like this help women to feel like we're not constantly being judged negatively

Usually, not always. But usually if someone is judging me. There is some truth to it. For example everyone at work makes fun of how slow I am. They don't tell me outright. But they mock and make little jokes about it. My wife has mentioned it. I know it is the case. But when they mention it, I know it. And if there is something I can do to fix it. I do. But in this case it is part of my personality. Yes I can and do go faster, but I don't believe it's God's will for me to be anxious. God has provided a job where I can use brain work. Work smarter not harder. And I choose to do that. But I do not say that others are judging me. Because there is truth to what is being said. They may not say it in the kindest way, but I accept the criticism. How does this apply to people judging women on attire. Well what we wear does say something about our heart. When I was in high school I went to the gym every day, and I got fairly fit. And I would buy these fitness tank tops with huge arm holes and neck holes, I mean you could see my chest fully through the sides. I was an on fire christian in youth leadership. But at the same time I had purity problems. Fast forward twenty years. I had been dieting and I lost about sixty pounds and started feeling sexier. I was thinking, I can go to the gym again and get ripped. But I was not doing it so my wife would think I am attractive, I was doing it for others, people at work or church to think I was attractive. I did it for a few weeks. Then I realized my heart was stumbling. I was thinking unpure thoughts towards my sisters in Christ. I realized it was the gym. I was fine before going to the gym. So I stopped it. I didn't stop all excersize just the muscle building. Those unpure thoughts went away almost instantly. I was humbling myself, realizing that that was all just vanity. Now there is nothing wrong with fitness, if you can do it for the glory of God and to be a witness, like tim tebow and others. That is great. But I was not mentally mature enough to do it. I was thinking about unpure motives. So I just stopped it and the temptation stopped. Sometimes we have to discipline our bodies into subjection 1 Corinthians 9:27. Discipline is an interesting concept. Since I have dieted I have seen myself lose more weight than others at the gym. I am not saying that that is the correct method for everyone. You can do both. But hitting the gym, running, doing all the cardio will not help you if you are eating poorly due to lack of discipline. The bible talks about gluttony. It's covetousness. now we can reward ourselves and have treats every once in awhile, thanksgiving, christmas, newyears. Birthday parties, etc. But if we lack discipline in our eating, it does not matter how much we excersize our caloric intake is not burned off. I realized that in forsaking the gym I thought I was sacrificing for God, and I was. But I realized that God developed in me a discipline. When in full swing I can lose 2 pounds a week, any week I want to. So during christmas I gain five pounds, then I just hit my diet and it's gone in a month. So I have freedom now. I don't have to go hours and lift weights, I have energy. IF I want extra cardio, I have an eliptical. I realize that small weight lifting is good if you wish to keep your muscle. But for me heavy weights is a temptation. My mind is not in it. But I just wanted to share that when you give something to God, He blesses your effort. I noticed that from family pictures, there is not a whole lot of difference from my high school pictures from having bulked muscle and today. Sure I am a little skinnier. But who cares. It does not really matter what we sacrifice for God, it could be financial, it could be our eating (fasting), it could be an activity (going to the gym), it could be fasting from too much TV and reading the Bible instead, it could be turning off the secular music for a while and listening to worship. Whatever you offer to the Lord He will accept that offering as sweet smelling aroma in His presence. And he will pay extraordinary high rewards as a result.

Modesty among clothing and other areas

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