Hello Holy_Joel, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. These forums are great for sharing our concerns about faith and try to have a deeper relationship with God. The word communion means common union with Jesus. If you would like to go in a deeper relationship with our Lord. I encourage you to start reading the most important book, the Bible and read the New Testament especially the Gospel of Saint Mark. In that way you could know better Our Lord Jesus, how does He feels, how does He thinks and how does He acts. Spiritual life starts for getting the virtue of humility. I encourage you to pray with all your heart, that can give you this gift. Getting humility allows us to grow in other virtues, such as faith, hope and charity. St Paul says the charity is biggest virtue of all. (1 Cor 13) He also says that we have to put our faith in to practice. (1 Cor 9,16) That would allow us to be closer to God because we are doing that please Him. On the other hand, discerning what is Will of God in our lives allow us to have a deeper relationship with Him. The same Jesus says in the Gospel: “My food is to do the will of the one who sent me and to finish his work (Jn 4,34)” Perhaps, have you thought of seeking to attend to Spiritual Retreats in your area? I hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers my friend.