I envy non believers (Im sorry, this is gonna be a long one)

There is plenty of fun to be had in life which doesn't involve things a Christian shouldn't be doing. And things we shouldn't be doing will not bring us happiness in the long run. Partying a lot and inappropriate contentography and all similar kinds of stuff really have an analogy in drug use. They are fun in the beginning, but then you need more of it, and the more you do the less fun it becomes, and you can eventually end up wasting and ruining your life in pursuit of fun which becomes more and more elusive.

Never mind the parties and movies. Those things are just entertainment. Do them, or don't, whatever is fun to you.

The things Jesus calls us to give up are the things that genuinely hurt others and ourselves. Do you have a longing to gossip about your friends behind their backs? Do you want to be jealous of them, and to wish for them to fail so that you'll look better in comparison to them? Do you want to steal from them when they aren't looking? Do you want to push people of the wrong ethnicity out of your friend group? Those are the kinds of sins that Jesus calls us to walk away from. If those are the kinds of things you're yearning to do, then that's where I would recommend prayer for forgiveness and deliverance, and perhaps counselling with a trusted spiritual guide.

(If your name "Altruistic_Sock" means that you enjoy trolling the Internet, then I recommend changing that form of entertainment. Go listen to some loud music instead.)

Altruistic_Sock said:

I envy non believers. Well, not just any, just my friends. We begin this tale, well ... here. I became a christian 2 years ago, but i was raised in the church all my life. But because I was not much liked among my Christian peers, All my friends from middle through 2 years into college were all non believers. But when i became a believer, i still struggled with finding christian peers to hangout with. At this very moment, all my friends still are non believers. They go out and have fun, go to parties and watch adult movies and late night showings and do adult, worldly things. And i have a fun personality that is always looking for an adventure, but i know deep down that those things are not things that a christian should be doing, and i look longingly at those things and it makes me envious of them. I dropped those things once i became a christian, but i sometimes look back and think that im missing out on something. I think that if i go back to that show, or go back to that website, ill have fun again. I think that i was in the out crowd for so long that i followed the first person to ever accept me, and those people lead me down a very dark path. But, I know that sanctification is a journey, and that im just either very impatient, falsely repentant, or both I dont know, but i am looking at the things they are doing and wishing i were too. Is there any help for me?

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Profile page says you're 20 years old and Baptist. I assume that means you own a Bible and to some degree actually read it, pray at more than meals, and fellowship in a Bible-teaching congregation. Is that true?

What do you consider "Christian peers"? Are they merely Christians your chronological age. or are you not finding Christians of your approximate spiritual maturity?

Exactly what are those "adventure" things you are doing that you think "are not things that a Christian should be doing?

In direct answer to your question, "Is there any help for me?" the answer is a decided "Yes!" but you are likely going to have to work to change. Blessedly, if you have committed your life to Christ then you have God helping you inwardly and outwardly to help facilitate those changes. Fill me in on the details of the two inquiries above and I (and others) will offer what prayer and counsel we can.

Altruistic_Sock said:

To answer the questions in chronological order

1. Yes, i own a bible and read it daily, or at least i try to get into the word daily. I try to get into christian congregation, but because of work and school im only able to make it into to sunday school on sundays.

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What about prayer? I don't read that addressed? Do you have a regular (daily?) time of prayer?

2. christian peers as in people in the same age group, not maturity wise.

Altruistic_Sock said:

3. I used the word adventure as a broadened term. More like a TV show, movie, or book they are all watching/reading and want me to read it/watch and i cant because it has sex in it, but then I get conflicted because the storyline sounds amazing. They dont go out and get drunk, well most of them dont, but drinking is not really enticing to me.

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Why can't/won't/don't you watch movies containing sex in them? Have you tried closing your eyes during the sex scenes? Have you discussed the importance of your religious faith with your friends so that they understand you want to maintain their very valued friendships but want to maintain your faith in good conscience without being teased, mocked, or ridiculed by your friends? My older friends understand I no longer do many of the things I used to do so we do things we can do. I, personally, increased my outdoors activities and we go hiking, backpacking, canoeing together. I'm old now but in the early days one or two of them would bring liquor or pot. Part of being a Christian is learning to say "No," with a clear conscience and peace of mind, finding our delight in God not man.

I was 25 when I became a Christian. On one occasion I purchased several tickets to see Eric Clapton and invited several of my past secular (pot-smoking, premarital-sex-having, cohabiting, R-rated-movie-watching) friends along. On the way to the concert one of them told me a report of an old girlfriend being surprised I was still going to secular concerts. I asked my friend what he told her and he said, "I told you became a Christian; you didn't stop pumping blood and breathing air."

You do understand Jesus was a bluesman, yes?

You are 20. You're young. If you're serious about your relationship with your Redeemer then everything will work out and you'll find a place in your conscience where you can live a very real happy life aware of your sinfulness. Everyone here has worked or is working through it.

So..... do you pray?

Why can't you see a movie with sex in it and discipline yourself during scenes that confront your conscience?

Have you, or will you consider, talking to your secular friends about your personal standards?

Altruistic_Sock said:

I try to get into christian congregation, but because of work and school im only able to make it into to sunday school on sundays.

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If that is true then when do you have time to hang out with your secular friends?

Altruistic_Sock said:

well, i dont know. I have been struggling with inappropriate contentography for years now, and i realize that its better to cut it out all together than to be tempted into it. After some trial and error I've come to the conclusion that that is the best option for me. I do pray, multiple times per day and not just at meals.

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Yes, as you learned and as you learn from Scripture as God Reveals it,
stay away from all those things that stir sinful lusts and sinful thoughts. It is not worth losing a soul over sin that can be and should be avoided.... Amen.

Altruistic_Sock said:

mostly on weekends, whenever there is a break in between work and school

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Start with one day out of one weekend per month and do one of two things:

1) get together with a Christian peer and do something edifying or mutually engaging.

or

2) go to a young adults group or small group gathering during the week and use the weekend time to do the studying you would have done during the week.

Can you see your current challenges solved without Christian fellowship?

Altruistic_Sock said:

well, i dont know. I have been struggling with inappropriate contentography for years now, and i realize that its better to cut it out all together than to be tempted into it. After some trial and error I've come to the conclusion that that is the best option for me. I do pray, multiple times per day and not just at meals.

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Glad and encouraged to read you are praying. Well done.


I'd like to be respectful but direct with this branch of conversation. Do you really "struggle," or do you take delight in viewing inappropriate contentography? If I read the post correctly then you've realized complete abstinence from inappropriate contentography is warranted. You are correct. Is the inappropriate contentography you're viewing mainly online? If so then let me recommend books on the subject by either Patrick Carnes (secular) or Mark Laaser (Christian). I have used "Out of the Shadows" or "In the Shadows of the Net" well with others using inappropriate contentography compulsively, especially in conjunction when the person is attending a support group like a twelve-step sexual addictions group Celebrate Recovery or a Samson Society group. If you try completely ridding yourself of viewing inappropriate contentography and have difficulty do so then what do you think that means?

Altruistic_Sock said:

I envy non believers. Well, not just any, just my friends. We begin this tale, well ... here. I became a christian 2 years ago, but i was raised in the church all my life. But because I was not much liked among my Christian peers, All my friends from middle through 2 years into college were all non believers. But when i became a believer, i still struggled with finding christian peers to hangout with. At this very moment, all my friends still are non believers. They go out and have fun, go to parties and watch adult movies and late night showings and do adult, worldly things. And i have a fun personality that is always looking for an adventure, but i know deep down that those things are not things that a christian should be doing, and i look longingly at those things and it makes me envious of them. I dropped those things once i became a christian, but i sometimes look back and think that im missing out on something. I think that if i go back to that show, or go back to that website, ill have fun again. I think that i was in the out crowd for so long that i followed the first person to ever accept me, and those people lead me down a very dark path. But, I know that sanctification is a journey, and that im just either very impatient, falsely repentant, or both I dont know, but i am looking at the things they are doing and wishing i were too. Is there any help for me?

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Don't look back to your old life. Why would you envy people for things they are doing which they are going to end up going to hell for and be regretting forever??? God hates inappropriate contentography and most everything involved with late night adventure. Your problem is that you are measuring life by man's values which are vain and deceitful rather than by God's values which are good and true. You are warned not to look back to Sodom (like lot's wife) nor to envy the wicked for the fun they are having in their wickedness. Whatever you can't have obeying God and suffering for the sake of Truth is vain, unprofitable, and will surely come back to bite you anyways on Judgment Day and probably well before that too. Heed God's Word and not the stupid, wicked values of men! Let God be true and every man a liar.

Proverbs 23:15-23: "15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
16 Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things. 17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long. 18 For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. 19 Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way. 20 Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: 21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. 22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. 23 Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding."

Ecclesiastes 11:7-10, 12:1, 13-14: "7 Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun: 8 But if a man live many years, and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity. 9 Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. 10 Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity... 1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them...
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."

Matthew 16:23-27: "23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men. 24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works."

Revelation 21:7-8: "7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. 8 But the fearful (cowardly), and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

Chesterton said:

They are fun in the beginning, but then you need more of it, and the more you do the less fun it becomes, and you can eventually end up wasting and ruining your life in pursuit of fun which becomes more and more elusive.

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That just about covers every addiction including religion. All things in moderation.