Do not say anything about ocd. just answer me this question.
a lady has her light bulbs in her living room, burned. the "bulb holder" is a complicated mechanism with specific rare bulbs.
a friend of hers was going to buy her, new bulbs for that mechanism.
ocd started bugging me
ocd: will that friend of the lady, is also going to put them into that complicated mechanism? does he know how to do it? ask her!
me: no!
ocd: ask her cause you may have made a promise and maybe a punishment will happen
suddenly, in a second, thoughts popped up without my will like "changing the promise into never ask that question. and now I am free from the compulsion cause thanks to these thoughts I should never ask. and in the next second, I was like " wait! no! I was caught off guard! they are thoughts without my will"
since that day, I avoided mentioning or offering to help with the bulbs. the compulsion was "never ask about that friend if he knows to change the bulbs in the living room"
Today, for other reason, I was to that lady's apartment. As I was leaving, the lady wanted a favor. I freaked I was like
" I hope she does ask her to change the bulbs in the living room" although, the compulsion was not to make a very specific question. but still, I wanted to be sure so I did not even talk about that bulbs or touching them .
lady: can you change a bulb for me?
me: erm....
inside me: noooooooooooooo! how can I explain her that I have ocd and would not like to have any activity with the bulbs in the living room?
lady: I would like you to change a bulb in the main corridor, above the apartment door.
me: oh...
inside me: phew. it is a different bulb.
ocd: do not dare to do it. why bother do it? don't you want to be sure about the compulsion? find an excuse. maybe you should never bother touching any bulb in any place of the house, in or out.
me: I have fear of heights. and I am in a hurry.
lady: oh. too bad...
me: can't you find some other to do it? perhaps the others who live in the same building?
no reason to continue the dialogue. the lady was disappointed just because I was doing an ocd compulsion that was almost different. I just wanted to be sure.
after some minutes, I realized.
it was better for me, to keep my mouth shut, and change that bulb, because
the compulsion was "never ask" and not "never touch"
and I was so angry with myself. not only, I did not help her but I am closer in breaking that compulsion. if I had helped her, I would not have asked to find an other person to do it.
so, I got so anxious. I knew they were thoughts without my will but just to be sure. please answer me.
is
"do not ask the lady, if her friend (specific guy) who is going to buy her new bulbs (specific rare brand), is able to put them into the complicated mechanism in the living room (specific place) (the compulsion was created weeks ago)
and what I did today, was
"asked the lady if she can find another person who can help her change the bulb (different brand from the bulb of the compulsion) above her apartment door (different place. the compulsion's was in the living room and this is outside of her apartment).
please do not tell me that it is ocd and ignore it. I know that are going to say that to me. and that is why I use the word compulsion and not promise. because I know it is ocd. I want to be 100% sure. so, forget about the whole ocd thing in the story, do you see if the activity is the same? was the compulsion broken? please do not say on purpose, that it is broken just to fight my ocd. I want you to tell me specific. if the compulsion was broken.
is asking the question
"can you find someone other to change the bulb above your apartment door?"
maybe broke the compulsion, which was
"do not ask if the friend who is bringing the new specific bulbs, is able to put them in the living room"
is it the 2 questions the same or not?
a lady has her light bulbs in her living room, burned. the "bulb holder" is a complicated mechanism with specific rare bulbs.
a friend of hers was going to buy her, new bulbs for that mechanism.
ocd started bugging me
ocd: will that friend of the lady, is also going to put them into that complicated mechanism? does he know how to do it? ask her!
me: no!
ocd: ask her cause you may have made a promise and maybe a punishment will happen
suddenly, in a second, thoughts popped up without my will like "changing the promise into never ask that question. and now I am free from the compulsion cause thanks to these thoughts I should never ask. and in the next second, I was like " wait! no! I was caught off guard! they are thoughts without my will"
since that day, I avoided mentioning or offering to help with the bulbs. the compulsion was "never ask about that friend if he knows to change the bulbs in the living room"
Today, for other reason, I was to that lady's apartment. As I was leaving, the lady wanted a favor. I freaked I was like
" I hope she does ask her to change the bulbs in the living room" although, the compulsion was not to make a very specific question. but still, I wanted to be sure so I did not even talk about that bulbs or touching them .
lady: can you change a bulb for me?
me: erm....
inside me: noooooooooooooo! how can I explain her that I have ocd and would not like to have any activity with the bulbs in the living room?
lady: I would like you to change a bulb in the main corridor, above the apartment door.
me: oh...
inside me: phew. it is a different bulb.
ocd: do not dare to do it. why bother do it? don't you want to be sure about the compulsion? find an excuse. maybe you should never bother touching any bulb in any place of the house, in or out.
me: I have fear of heights. and I am in a hurry.
lady: oh. too bad...
me: can't you find some other to do it? perhaps the others who live in the same building?
no reason to continue the dialogue. the lady was disappointed just because I was doing an ocd compulsion that was almost different. I just wanted to be sure.
after some minutes, I realized.
it was better for me, to keep my mouth shut, and change that bulb, because
the compulsion was "never ask" and not "never touch"
and I was so angry with myself. not only, I did not help her but I am closer in breaking that compulsion. if I had helped her, I would not have asked to find an other person to do it.
so, I got so anxious. I knew they were thoughts without my will but just to be sure. please answer me.
is
"do not ask the lady, if her friend (specific guy) who is going to buy her new bulbs (specific rare brand), is able to put them into the complicated mechanism in the living room (specific place) (the compulsion was created weeks ago)
and what I did today, was
"asked the lady if she can find another person who can help her change the bulb (different brand from the bulb of the compulsion) above her apartment door (different place. the compulsion's was in the living room and this is outside of her apartment).
please do not tell me that it is ocd and ignore it. I know that are going to say that to me. and that is why I use the word compulsion and not promise. because I know it is ocd. I want to be 100% sure. so, forget about the whole ocd thing in the story, do you see if the activity is the same? was the compulsion broken? please do not say on purpose, that it is broken just to fight my ocd. I want you to tell me specific. if the compulsion was broken.
is asking the question
"can you find someone other to change the bulb above your apartment door?"
maybe broke the compulsion, which was
"do not ask if the friend who is bringing the new specific bulbs, is able to put them in the living room"
is it the 2 questions the same or not?
