Will My Mom & Dad Forgive Me?

Aquatic Waves

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Some of you here may know that both my parents are deceased. They died when I was very young and they were young as well. I'm starting to feel really horrible and guilty of myself. I now have big big regrets. Dad died first. My parents were divorced so I lived with my mom. I wasn't close to my dad unfortunately but I still saw him frequently. 1 day he was rushed to the hospital for complaining about severe stomach pains. He was admitted overnight to have the doctors run test on him. Shocking they discovered he had cancer. A couple of days later, he went into a coma. Within a week he died. My sister had gone to the hospital a few times to see him before he died. But with me, I didn't. I only went once and that was it. I feel that he's mad at me for not caring and visiting him when I should had. That's been on my mind for years. Then a few years after, my mom died in a tragic accident. A few months before her death, we had a huge fight. I ended saying something so horrible to her which I didn't mean at all. That's 1. For the first couple of years I was grieving. Then later on, I was so angry at her I ended up cussing about her and not caring her anymore. Plus saying mean really things now that she's dead. Because she left me and my sister too soon. And I was also angry at her for other things she did when she was alive. But now after a few years of all this anger, I'm really starting to miss her and I need a mom now. I feel so disgusted with myself because I grieved, then I hated, now I'm grieving again. I just want to know if I can be forgiven by them and that I'm so so sorry for acting that way. I now cry almost every day thinking about my mom and dad and wish I didn't do those things that I did. Both when they were alive and deceased.
 

AllDayFaith

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I just want to know if I can be forgiven by them and that I'm so so sorry for acting that way. I now cry almost every day thinking about my mom and dad and wish I didn't do those things that I did. Both when they were alive and deceased.

I'm sure your parents would forgive you when given the chance. It's okay to grieve for a little while, but you can't dwell on the past, it happened and we can't fix it. I suspect that the enemy is putting those thoughts in your head in an effort to mislead you. We are to focus on Heavenly things above, not on the past :groupray:
 
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AllDayFaith

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But I can't forgive myself now.
Don't do that to yourself, forgive yourself for what you did so you can heal and move on. We have to learn from out mistakes so that we don't repeat them again. God can already see how sorry you are for what you've done, isn't that enough? God separates us from our sins as far as the east is from the west. You can make new friends and be a beacon of light among them. We are here whenever you need to talk :groupray:
 
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Aquatic Waves

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Don't do that to yourself, forgive yourself for what you did so you can heal and move on. We have to learn from out mistakes so that we don't repeat them again. God can already see how sorry you are for what you've done, isn't that enough? God separates us from our sins as far as the east is from the west. You can make new friends and be a beacon of light among them. We are here whenever you need to talk :groupray:

I'm sorry to keep repeating myself but this is very hard on me. I feel like I'm a hypocrite now with being angry and grieving about my parents. I just want God to give me a sign that they are ok and they forgive me.
 
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AllDayFaith

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I just want God to give me a sign that they are ok and they forgive me
God has already given you a sign that they are ok, He wrote it in the Bible. God forgives us because we've chosen to believe and repented. And your parents can't judge you either way, God only knows what's best for you :clap:
 
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Aquatic Waves

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God has already given you a sign that they are ok, He wrote it in the Bible. God forgives us because we've chosen to believe and repented. And your parents can't judge you either way, God only knows what's best for you :clap:

Where in bible does it say that?
 
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paul1149

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You can tell God in prayer that you're sorry and how much you love them. Give it to Him, including the pain, and let His compassionate Spirit begin to heal you. Allow yourself to grieve if you haven't done that yet, but don't forget God and His promises as you go through it. Don't go through it alone. Then at the right time it will be emotionally resolved and you can put it behind you and press on (philippians 3).
 
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Aquatic Waves

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You can tell God in prayer that you're sorry and how much you love them. Give it to Him, including the pain, and let His compassionate Spirit begin to heal you. Allow yourself to grieve if you haven't done that yet, but don't forget God and His promises as you go through it. Don't go through it alone. Then at the right time it will be emotionally resolved and you can put it behind you and press on (philippians 3).

I do tell God in prayer that I'm so sorry for what I done. But nothing has changed. I don't feel healed and I cry all the time. This has been going on for 2 weeks now that I'm starting to grieve constantly and cry. I know it can't happen but I wish they can come back. I need them now. I thought I could be strong before but now I'm not. It's so painful when you don't have your parents anymore and your still young.
 
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Where in bible does it say that?

In heaven, there are only comfort and joy. No sorrow, no pain, no hunger, no anger or grudges.

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here..." (Luke 16:25).
 
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Aussie Pete

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Some of you here may know that both my parents are deceased. They died when I was very young and they were young as well. I'm starting to feel really horrible and guilty of myself. I now have big big regrets. Dad died first. My parents were divorced so I lived with my mom. I wasn't close to my dad unfortunately but I still saw him frequently. 1 day he was rushed to the hospital for complaining about severe stomach pains. He was admitted overnight to have the doctors run test on him. Shocking they discovered he had cancer. A couple of days later, he went into a coma. Within a week he died. My sister had gone to the hospital a few times to see him before he died. But with me, I didn't. I only went once and that was it. I feel that he's mad at me for not caring and visiting him when I should had. That's been on my mind for years. Then a few years after, my mom died in a tragic accident. A few months before her death, we had a huge fight. I ended saying something so horrible to her which I didn't mean at all. That's 1. For the first couple of years I was grieving. Then later on, I was so angry at her I ended up cussing about her and not caring her anymore. Plus saying mean really things now that she's dead. Because she left me and my sister too soon. And I was also angry at her for other things she did when she was alive. But now after a few years of all this anger, I'm really starting to miss her and I need a mom now. I feel so disgusted with myself because I grieved, then I hated, now I'm grieving again. I just want to know if I can be forgiven by them and that I'm so so sorry for acting that way. I now cry almost every day thinking about my mom and dad and wish I didn't do those things that I did. Both when they were alive and deceased.
[
You say that you can't forgive yourself. That's no way to live. Read this article. if you follow the advice, you will know true freedom.

Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston
 
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St_Worm2

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Hello @Aquatic Waves, have you brought all of this up with your priest yet? If not, I'd recommend doing so as soon as you can.

I also noticed one of the big danger words for Christians in your post above, "I don't ~feel~ healed....". As Christians, we are to always trust what God says to us, IOW, we are to (literally) 'take Him at His word' (not listen to our feelings, or to the deceit and lies of our common enemy, or both).

I can tell your from personal experience that this is hard to do (our feelings are powerful things, and Satan and his demons are very powerful persuaders). It takes a lot of effort to break the VERY bad habit of not believing/not 'taking to heart' what God says, especially when we are grieving over sin and feeling ashamed and unworthy of His love because we have.

The things is, God says,

1 John 1
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

But, I don't "feel" forgiven or cleansed, I would say to myself, and then Satan would jump in with his "come on, you know that a true Christian would NEVER do what you just did", and then I'd end up denying what I knew God said was true, or I'd believe that v9 above was actually meant for other Christians, real Christians, not for me.

I finally asked myself (with a LOT of help from the HS), why am I doing this? Why am I listening to my feelings and believing the lies of the enemy who hates me, rather than believing the One who has proven that He loves and cares for me (so much so that He came here and died on the Cross in my place to save me)? Why am I choosing to believe the lies of Satan rather than the truth from God :scratch: It also occurred to me in that moment that God deserved the benefit of any doubt that I had, that He deserved to be believed.

So, once I realized what I was doing, I determined to always make a conscious choice to believe God (rather than anything or anyone else). So now, whenever the bad thoughts and feelings begin to invade my mind, I take them "captive" and give them over to Jesus, just like the Bible tells us to do .. 2 Corinthians 10:5. It wasn't an easy or a comfortable thing to do, especially at first, but like the Bible also tells us, "resist the devil and he will flee from you" .. James 4:7.

And whenever you fail to do so .. take God at His word, that is (and you will), 1 John 1:9 still applies, so just ask Him to forgive you again and He will :amen:

God bless you!

--David
 
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paul1149

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I do tell God in prayer that I'm so sorry for what I done. But nothing has changed. I don't feel healed and I cry all the time. This has been going on for 2 weeks now that I'm starting to grieve constantly and cry. I know it can't happen but I wish they can come back. I need them now. I thought I could be strong before but now I'm not. It's so painful when you don't have your parents anymore and your still young.
I think there's two distinct things going on here, that are being conflated. You feel guilty about how you treated your parents, and you are grieving your loss. It probably will be helpful to work through the two separately. You've confessed whatever you may have done with them, and according to 1Jn 1.9 you are forgiven and will be cleansed. In one of the Psalms David writes, "remember not the sins of my youth". We all make mistakes when we are young. God forgives when we ask, and He doesn't want us to carry the guilt and shame any longer. Ultimately He is our Source of life; this is why David writes, "against You - You only - have I sinned" (Ps 51). God has the authority to forgive your sin. Your parents undoubtedly know your heart.

The second thing is the grief. It's ok and necessary to grieve, but Paul tells the Thessalonians not to grieve as one without hope in a future life. This keeps the grief from overwhelming us.

A few times in my healing process I have spoken directly to my departed parents. Not a conversation, but a one-way statement in which I apologized for the things I did wrong, told them I forgave them for where they may have fallen short, and told them I loved them. I didn't make a practice of doing that, it just came by the spirit. Now I appreciate my parents and what they did for me more than ever before.

And there's a third thing going on beside grief - your need for parental support at this time in your life. Maybe you should ask the Lord for the right people who can help you in this regard. It might be a pastor, it might be a mentor. Be careful though. A supportive church can be a huge help. And of course, the Lord is the best parent and mentor there can be, so draw near to Him at this time. He promises to work all things for the good.
 
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LoricaLady

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But I can't forgive myself now. All I do is cry. I want them back but I know it's not possible. And now that they are gone, I never got the chance to tell them I'm really sorry
If they are in Heaven they have forgiven you. It seems to me you are being oppressed by the devil. First with fear, per another post, also with guilt and a deep sense of loss and pain over your losses.

David committed adultery and had the man who was the husband to be murdered. He was forgiven. He also said "Against You only have I sinned." In other words, the Lord was the real one he sinned against.

We all sin! Welcome to planet earth. Will you accept the forgiveness offered to you by the suffering and death of Messiah? You must. To not do that, friend, would be a much bigger sin. Trust Him. Accept what He has done for you. Well, first ask Him to cause you to accept, and believe in, what He has done for you. You can't do one thing to make up for the past. But the devil just loves to watch you beating yourself up over it.

Ask the Savior to lead you to healing from your guilt and pain.

Now, maybe you are suffering from depression that is not due only to what happened in your past, but to physical areas. For example low thyroid (the biggest health problem in America), low B12, low iron and so on can lead to depression.

(For low thyroid symptoms see stopthethyroidmadness.com site and of course get a blood test if you feel you have them.)

Again, ask HIM to lead you because only He knows all the issues and the best path to follow for healing.
 
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But I can't forgive myself now. All I do is cry. I want them back but I know it's not possible. And now that they are gone, I never got the chance to tell them I'm really sorry

Go to the Lord and ask for forgiveness ... receive it, and don't give it back and begin anew.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

May the Lord bring peace to your heart and mind. In Jesus name, Amen.
 
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Aquatic Waves

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Hello @Aquatic Waves, have you brought all of this up with your priest yet? If not, I'd recommend doing so as soon as you can.

I also noticed one of the big danger words for Christians in your post above, "I don't ~feel~ healed....". As Christians, we are to always trust what God says to us, IOW, we are to (literally) 'take Him at His word' (not listen to our feelings, or to the deceit and lies of our common enemy, or both).

I can tell your from personal experience that this is hard to do (our feelings are powerful things, and Satan and his demons are very powerful persuaders). It takes a lot of effort to break the VERY bad habit of not believing/not 'taking to heart' what God says, especially when we are grieving over sin and feeling ashamed and unworthy of His love because we have.

The things is, God says,

1 John 1
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

But, I don't "feel" forgiven or cleansed, I would say to myself, and then Satan would jump in with his "come on, you know that a true Christian would NEVER do what you just did", and then I'd end up denying what I knew God said was true, or I'd believe that v9 above was actually meant for other Christians, real Christians, not for me.

I finally asked myself (with a LOT of help from the HS), why am I doing this? Why am I listening to my feelings and believing the lies of the enemy who hates me, rather than believing the One who has proven that He loves and cares for me (so much so that He came here and died on the Cross in my place to save me)? Why am I choosing to believe the lies of Satan rather than the truth from God :scratch: It also occurred to me in that moment that God deserved the benefit of any doubt that I had, that He deserved to be believed.

So, once I realized what I was doing, I determined to always make a conscious choice to believe God (rather than anything or anyone else). So now, whenever the bad thoughts and feelings begin to invade my mind, I take them "captive" and give them over to Jesus, just like the Bible tells us to do .. 2 Corinthians 10:5. It wasn't an easy or a comfortable thing to do, especially at first, but like the Bible also tells us, "resist the devil and he will flee from you" .. James 4:7.

And whenever you fail to do so .. take God at His word, that is (and you will), 1 John 1:9 still applies, so just ask Him to forgive you again and He will :amen:

God bless you!

--David

The churches in my neighborhood are all catholic and orthodox. Hardly any Christian churches in my neighborhood

I know that the devil is making me crying and grieving constantly. I just couldn't control myself and felt even more depressed. And I guess that's the reason why I said that "I feel I'm not healed". I didn't mean at all to say that and I'm so sorry to everyone here and to God. I probably need to start going to a christian church for guidance and help. I can't do this alone.
 
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Aquatic Waves

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And there's a third thing going on beside grief - your need for parental support at this time in your life. Maybe you should ask the Lord for the right people who can help you in this regard. It might be a pastor, it might be a mentor. Be careful though. A supportive church can be a huge help. And of course, the Lord is the best parent and mentor there can be, so draw near to Him at this time. He promises to work all things for the good.

I agree that I need parental support. It's just hard for me to find people who will actually care and be there for me. I had 1 friend who was supportive. However, we got into an argument and now she cut me off. I apologized to her many times and tried my best to win her back but no luck. So I lost her. It's been over a year that I haven't seen or spoken to her. I feel even guilty about that as well. This is going to sound naive for me to say. I want to have a new family with a mom and dad who would understand me and not be cold. My sister and grandma are unsupportive to me. That's just them. So I can't go to them for guidance. I still love them regardless. I just wish they would show me the love that I show them.
 
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Aquatic Waves

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A few times in my healing process I have spoken directly to my departed parents. Not a conversation, but a one-way statement in which I apologized for the things I did wrong, told them I forgave them for where they may have fallen short, and told them I loved them. I didn't make a practice of doing that, it just came by the spirit. Now I appreciate my parents and what they did for me more than ever before.

Did your parents pass away also? If so, I'm really sorry
 
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St_Worm2

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I probably need to start going to a christian church for guidance and help. I can't do this alone.
I agree with you sister, none of us can (and God never intended for us to :)).

I'm sorry that all of this is continuing to cause you so much pain.

Praying for you.

--David
 
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