asking for prayers, blessings from non-Orthodox

AMM · Nov 17, 2019

*You are in the Orthodox subforum*

How should we approach these two things while (1) not being an ecumenist and (2) not being overly strict and narrow? Is it appropriate for an Orthodox individual to, for example, ask for and receive a blessing from a Catholic, Anglican, or Lutheran priest? Similarly, should we ask for prayers from non-Orthodox individuals, ask to be put on prayer lists, etc.? I think both of these are different than, say, asking a Hindu or a Wiccan to pray for or bless us, but there is a difference between Orthodoxy and non-Orthodox denominations of Christianity, so where do we draw the line?

“Paisios” · Nov 17, 2019

AMM said:
*You are in the Orthodox subforum*

How should we approach these two things while (1) not being an ecumenist and (2) not being overly strict and narrow? Is it appropriate for an Orthodox individual to, for example, ask for and receive a blessing from a Catholic, Anglican, or Lutheran priest? Similarly, should we ask for prayers from non-Orthodox individuals, ask to be put on prayer lists, etc.? I think both of these are different than, say, asking a Hindu or a Wiccan to pray for or bless us, but there is a difference between Orthodoxy and non-Orthodox denominations of Christianity, so where do we draw the line?

I might not ask a priest of a different Christian sect for a blessing, but I’ll accept prayers for me from anyone who is willing to offer them (and of course, I’ll pray for the non-Orthodox as much as for the Orthodox).

I don’t know if that is the right answer, but I am grateful for the love shown me by anyone who would pray for me.

~Anastasia~ · Nov 17, 2019

I was once in a situation where a few friends were gathered, and one was a pastor. He prayed for each one of us, asking our permission first. I was fairly newly Orthodox and not quite sure what I should do, but I didn't want to offend. I let him pray for me, but called my SF right away in case it was a serious error.

He assured me that I did the right thing, not wanting to offend. He said simply being prayed for was not sacramental, and it was ok to accept it. (I will say I was also iffy because he was anointing with oil, but again, not truly sacramental because that pastor had no intention or knowledge of that, though in a sense he was doing what he has been taught to do, so in a way it might have functioned as a pseudo-sacramental for him).

Anyway. Like I said, my SF said I did nothing wrong. (The answer COULD be different in some group who might regard things as actual Sacraments - there could be a line we can't cross with Catholics, for example.)

As far as asking prayers from other Christians, or praying for them ourselves - we pray for others out of love. To accept acts of love from someone in the name of Christ isn't a bad thing.

I think most would acknowledge that God sometimes might surprise us even, in answering heartfelt prayers that might come from a very simple and untaught heart.

I think these are all good things.

Of course the canons say we are not to enter in and join the prayers and worship of heretics. But remember too who heretics were at that time, and what it means to join in with someone else's prayers and worship. I'd be cautious in certain circumstances. (I sometimes say my own prayers or the Jesus Prayer to myself if it's a time to pray but I am unable to agree with what someone is praying.)

ArmyMatt · Nov 17, 2019

I don't ask for them, but if they give them anyway, I just stand respectfully.

AMM · Nov 17, 2019

“Paisios” said:
I might not ask a priest of a different Christian sect for a blessing, but I’ll accept prayers for me from anyone who is willing to offer them (and of course, I’ll pray for the non-Orthodox as much as for the Orthodox).

I don’t know if that is the right answer, but I am grateful for the love shown me by anyone who would pray for me.

makes sense. And I wouldn't tell a non-Orthodox individual not to pray for me. But I just wasn't sure if I should specifically ask them to pray for me

~Anastasia~ said:
I was once in a situation where a few friends were gathered, and one was a pastor. He prayed for each one of us, asking our permission first. I was fairly newly Orthodox and not quite sure what I should do, but I didn't want to offend. I let him pray for me, but called my SF right away in case it was a serious error.

He assured me that I did the right thing, not wanting to offend. He said simply being prayed for was not sacramental, and it was ok to accept it. (I will say I was also iffy because he was anointing with oil, but again, not truly sacramental because that pastor had no intention or knowledge of that, though in a sense he was doing what he has been taught to do, so in a way it might have functioned as a pseudo-sacramental for him).

Anyway. Like I said, my SF said I did nothing wrong. (The answer COULD be different in some group who might regard things as actual Sacraments - there could be a line we can't cross with Catholics, for example.)

As far as asking prayers from other Christians, or praying for them ourselves - we pray for others out of love. To accept acts of love from someone in the name of Christ isn't a bad thing.

I think most would acknowledge that God sometimes might surprise us even, in answering heartfelt prayers that might come from a very simple and untaught heart.

I think these are all good things.

Of course the canons say we are not to enter in and join the prayers and worship of heretics. But remember too who heretics were at that time, and what it means to join in with someone else's prayers and worship. I'd be cautious in certain circumstances. (I sometimes say my own prayers or the Jesus Prayer to myself if it's a time to pray but I am unable to agree with what someone is praying.)

Yeah, that makes sense too. Not wanting to offend is what I think my SF would advise. With that specific example of someone praying with oil, etc., I'm not sure I'd be personally comfortable with that, but that's neither here nor there.

And certainly I'm not saying anything against praying for other people, be there Orthodox, Baptist, Muslim, or atheist. We should pray "on behalf of all and for all"

and to the last point, I usually just say my own prayers quietly in such situations, even if I might agree with the words of a prayer. But there are exceptions to that (not necessarily reasonable ones, I very well may be inconsistently applying a standard to myself)

ArmyMatt said:
I don't ask for them, but if they give them anyway, I just stand respectfully.

yeah, I don't think I would want to make a big show about getting up and leaving, or saying "no don't pray for me" or something like that if an individual were praying for a group that I was in or something. I think I was thinking specifically about church services, going up for a blessing from a priest during the mass instead of the eucharist (because obviously we should not commune with other sects) or after the mass.

not that we should be regularly attending a non-orthodox service to begin with, obviously

“Paisios” · Nov 17, 2019

AMM said:
I think I was thinking specifically about church services, going up for a blessing from a priest during the mass instead of the eucharist (because obviously we should not commune with other sects) or after the mass.

I don’t know what Frs @ArmyMatt or @nutroll would say about that, but I would not feel comfortable specifically seeking out a blessing in that type of situation. If I was attending another sect’s services, I would remain in my place during such times. (But again, that is me, and not necessarily the right answer.)

ArmyMatt · Nov 17, 2019

AMM said:
yeah, I don't think I would want to make a big show about getting up and leaving, or saying "no don't pray for me" or something like that if an individual were praying for a group that I was in or something. I think I was thinking specifically about church services, going up for a blessing from a priest during the mass instead of the eucharist (because obviously we should not commune with other sects) or after the mass.

if, for some reason, I would have to be there, I'd just respectfully stay in the back

AMM · Nov 17, 2019

Thanks for the advice, both. That's kinda what I was leaning towards as a general rule

I have gone forward for a blessing, I think twice (?), since becoming Orthodox in a non-Orthodox church. I think both times were while I was still a catechumen

Once was for my godson's baptism (Lutheran), once was at a Roman Catholic cathedral that my priest had advised me to visit to see the icons and artwork there as part of my catechesis. I had gone with a catholic friend and we decided to attend mass at one of their chapels while there, he was going up and so I went up and just got a blessing

I do regret going up for a blessing at the baptism I was attending. I think I was nervous about getting questions from people at the parish if they saw me stay in the pew - this was the church I had grown up in, and everyone there knew me, and knew me as the kid that was going to seminary after graduating college. And it wasn't really known yet that I was converting to Orthodoxy except by a few people, so I wanted to avoid questions. In hindsight, the only question I got was from the mother of the child who was being baptized, "oh does your new church let you commune anywhere?" so I explained that, no, I had just gone up for a blessing. Anyway I digress. I do regret that I was intentionally hiding my faith, in a way, by going up for a blessing.

I think everyone's input has helped me solidify what my conscience was already telling me -- don't reject the prayers of others, but also there's no need to search for blessing, healing, mercy, salvation, etc. outside of the Ark of Orthodoxy, essentially

~Anastasia~ · Nov 17, 2019

Yeah I have to agree that I wouldn't be seeking out a blessing from the pastor or priest of some kind of non-Orthodox fellowship.

I've never had a different kind of priest offer a blessing. If they gave it, I'd probably accept it and thank them, then bring it up to my spiritual father for guidance.

I haven't asked (that I can recall) non-Orthodox specifically to pray for me, but I've been told people would pray for me in many instances. I thank them - and mean it. I don't think God would despise prayers for someone from anyone in Christ's name.

I don't normally attend other kinds of services, but I would just be respectful and not generally overtly participate in things that happen during the service.

~Anastasia~ · Nov 17, 2019

AMM said:
I do regret that I was intentionally hiding my faith, in a way, by going up for a blessing.

By the way, I made my last post before reading what your circumstance was exactly. I didn't mean it as criticism.

And it's a tricky situation. You don't want to give a bad/wrong impression, and that's commendable too. Sometimes we are just faced with situations we weren't exactly prepared for, so we do the best we can think to do, and ask about it later, and if need be there is confession. I don't think you need to feel badly.

AMM · Nov 17, 2019

~Anastasia~ said:
By the way, I made my last post before reading what your circumstance was exactly. I didn't mean it as criticism.

And it's a tricky situation. You don't want to give a bad/wrong impression, and that's commendable too. Sometimes we are just faced with situations we weren't exactly prepared for, so we do the best we can think to do, and ask about it later, and if need be there is confession. I don't think you need to feel badly.

No offense taken, thanks for your kind words

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asking for prayers, blessings from non-Orthodox

AMM

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“Paisios”

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~Anastasia~

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ArmyMatt

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“Paisios”

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ArmyMatt

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AMM

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~Anastasia~

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