I'm sure this will open up a can of worms, but here goes. I am a very new believer (it hasn't been a week) so I know very little. But I have been reading about Calvinism for years, out of curiosity and, well, because it terrifies me.
I understand (and feel deeply) that God is sovereign. I even understand how some people can believe that free will takes away from God's sovereignty. What I don't understand is why both can't be true-why can't God be sovereign AND allow free will? Now, I get that greater minds than mine have debated this, so I am trying to get to the place where I am okay with not having to know the answer to every question. This is hard.
But here's the thing-I can't quit crying. I get that God can do anything he wants, but Calvinism makes me so sad. I went to see my seven-year-old niece last night and all I could think about was if she were to ask me if God loves her, what could I say? Maybe? We'll have to wait and see? He might actually hate you and take delight in your everlasting punishment?
My whole life the one constant was "God loves you" (I grew up in a non-denominational Arminian church). Calvinism turns that on it's head. To me, it turns John 3:16 into "For God so loved the ELECT that he gave his only begotten Son..."
But here's the rub-my belief FEELS like a gift. If someone had told me two weeks ago I would be a Christian, let alone a bible-believing Christian, I would have thought they were insane (I had contemplated "becoming" a liberal Christian, thinking I could pick and choose what I would believe, if you can imagine, but never an orthodox Christian).
So, I don't know what to think.
Also, I'm open to private messages if people don't want to post on the thread.
Hi.. I know this must be confusing for you and I have great sympathy.
I'm going to discuss feelings, because they are important.
I am a former Muslim who came to Christ...
Floundering in the darkness God sent me a light, in the form of a Christian man who did in fact know Christianity and Islam well. He was also a Christian of a type I never met before - or simply never recognised. I must admit I was intrigued by the Christ I saw in him - and I recognised Christ in him before he ever said he was a follower of Christ.
Here was a person who had a presence. He seemed able and willing to overturn the money tables in the Temple, yet simultaneously humble, loving, kind, caring, and just
knew...
So I asked questions I'd been wanting, and waiting, to ask someone of knowledge. Someone who knew Christ because certain things made no logical sense in Islam, and no one in Islam could answer my confusion.
Who is this Christ the Messiah and what was He for? That was my burning question, the one without logical answer because let's face it, Islam has no real logical answer. Why would God create a Messiah, a Savior, if all He would ever do of any import was to tell people they shouldn't follow Him.
So I asked, we talked, we debated, we discussed, I got angry, we talked, we debated some more, and we discussed some more. This went on for a long time, and I finally understood it, I understood all but one important thing so I shelved it for a while, too overwhelming.
I married the man, life went on - but a blessed life of which I could only dream of - but I couldn't become Christian (although now no longer Muslim either..) I needed one last piece of the puzzle.
One night, perhaps two years on, I had a dream and in that dream the Angel of God came to me and explained the last piece I needed, in a manner I could understand - and I was saved before I woke, and confirmed it while awake as I was unsure my saying and doing in a dream was concrete enough. So - I was saved.
And I saw all the pieces of my life in the Hand of this Sovereign God, and I recognised that each and every moment leads up to this one moment in time when all meaning changed, the moment of my Salvation.
And I had a great fear of this God who could lead me here through my own choices with His Hand upon them all..Leading me blessedly to this moment. I saw every decision I made pointing me to the moment of my Salvation, bringing me into the fold like a stray sheep..
And I had fear so great I shook, and I cried, and I fell to my knees.
But that fear gave way to love in the blink of an eye, the perfect Love of our Creator, in the Love He has for mankind..
In that moment everything changed. I saw and felt all I imagine God sees and feels. And I felt a deep deep love for the lost, (Muslim, Jew, etc) a concern and love that was unimaginable in its depths.
And I loved them all too.. (ha! a first for me!) and I saw all people in such a different light than I had ever seen humanity before.. and I had new brothers and sisters too, and I loved them just as much..
And this, I believe, is how God feels for people. He desires to welcome the lost into his fold, to gather His stray sheep.
Is this God a monster? Never!
I can't ever say I know the mind of God..I can't say anything other than He loves, and it's a pure and true love deeper than any ocean.
It's not my place to attempt to dissect this God as if I am above Him, it is my place only to love His Creation, lost or saved, as if they were all my own brother or sister, and desire for them what I want for myself.
God is the God, not me.. it is Him who knows all things, not me. He sits with arms wide open in love as a Father, as the good Shepard, and as my King.
That's all I need to know.. that's all is my place to know. And I'm Calvinist.
God knows all things, we are to believe, and follow, Him.
so tell the little children, tell the lost, that they are indeed loved by this God, and He desires nothing but the best for them... and gave All with them in Mind, in Love. They have only to come to Him, Hes waiting..