I'd like to talk about driving, please.

Silverback · Nov 9, 2019

Tinker Grey said:
Convince yourself that you need to learn to drive on the highway. Get hubby to take you out.

The highway is much safer than the roads you're on; there is never anyone entering the highway perpendicular to you; nobody turning left in front of you; people heading off a ramp need not come to a sudden stop; no roundabouts. You'll never need to take a left turn. You can drive in the right lane indefinitely and then coast down your exit ramp.

You are correct, it is safer...especially on a motorcycle...IMHO

eleos1954 · Nov 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
For background, I'm in my mid-50's and came into driving late in life. I never had the opportunity to learn at the age when most people do. My husband is a professional driver and was vital to my ability to finally clear that hurdle. I get a lot of good advice from him, but I'd also like to supplement it with input from the public who may not be professionals but are experienced. I've been licensed now for six years, but until recently I haven't had a lot of chances to put my newly acquired skill to use. I would drive to church or the doctor's office, both places about 5 or 6 miles from my house, and that was pretty much it.

All of that changed about a month and a half ago, when I got a job. Full time. In a neighboring city, not the one I live in. Given traffic conditions, the commute takes me about half an hour each way. It would be less if I were brave enough for the interstate, but I'm not.

Also, I used to be constrained to daylight driving, but no longer. God has healed my night vision, praise His name. I don't know if He did it through weight loss (nearly 75 pounds!) and my diabetes being under much better control now, or if He just plain worked a miracle, but the details don't matter. John 9:25, all the way. I'm glad He did it, because we're getting into the time of year where it gets dark earlier in the evening and stays dark later in the morning. Either going to or from work, one or the other, or maybe both, it's going to be dark. It also gets pretty rainy and/or foggy around here. I'd never had much occasion to need headlights or windshield wipers, since I wasn't driving in the kind of conditions that would require them. I am now.

Since I'm avoiding the interstate, I face curvy roads and roundabouts and school zones and road construction. What are they constructing? More roundabouts. They seem to be in love with them around here. Supposedly they're safer than intersections with traffic lights, but my own experience is that I've had more close calls at roundabouts than I have at traffic lights.

The speed limit along my route never goes above 40. (For those outside the USA, I mean miles, not kilometers. It would be about 64k.) Along most of the route, it's 35 (56k). But I'm sure you know better than to think people actually observe the speed limit. I try to. Flow of traffic may force me to do 5 or 10 over, but not if I can help it.

So I recently stumbled on an online discussion where people are talking about how much they hate slow drivers, and how people who drive slowly "cause" road rage and accidents. It soon turned out that their definition of "slow" was not going less than the speed limit (which would frustrate me too). By "slow" they meant driving less than 10 miles an hour above it.

During that online discussion, I was derisively called "granny" and ordered to stay in the right lane. I brought up the subject of making a left turn. If I know I'm going to be turning left soon, I'm going to be in the left lane. I'm not going to wait until the last minute and take a chance on missing my turn because nobody would let me over. What do they expect me to do? Stay in the right lane until I get to where I'm turning, and then cut across traffic? Silence. No answer. Not even a mocking one. I guess I won that round. By the way, I don't know about other states, but here, the rule about keeping right except to pass applies only to the highways. Not to the kind of streets that have traffic lights. I'll grant you that the speed limits feel ridiculously low on my route to and from work, but it is the law.

Do you obey speed limits, even if they seem silly? Why or why not? How exactly do "slow" drivers (defined by that discussion as those who drive less than 10 miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit) "cause" road rage, or accidents? And does anybody have any handy hints for negotiating roundabouts?

Thank you.

I obey the speed limits or very close to them .... if driving less than 6-7 MPH under the speed limit on highways/interstates, yes stay in the right lane and/or if someone is "tail gaiting you". If perceiving a turn that crosses traffic, signal at least about 1/2 mile or so (if possible) before you turn .... better to miss a turn and then double back than to turn too quickly (side or rear) if traffic isn't allowing for you to do so safely.

No matter how "considerate" you might try to be .... somebody is likely to have an attitude with something here and there ... and that's on them ... don't worry about or let it bother you. No matter what they might do honking "hand gestures" ... etc. never respond to anyone having "road rage" or attitudes ... act like you don't even see them. You DO in fact need to see them ... because the "honking" could be them warning you about something else.

Slow down when approaching a round about and assess whats going on in the circle and gauge your speed accordingly. If a car is in the circle say less than half if it's circumference then likely best to slow down and let the other driver(s) complete "their mission". The purpose of the round about of course is to keep things moving and not coming to a full stop ... but if two or more cars are basically bumper to bumper ... occasionally you might have to.

I live in a retirement community and everybody drives slow around here ... therefore so do I and give everybody a lot of room, so they have plenty of time to make their driving decisions LOL

Tinker Grey · Nov 9, 2019

Silverback said:
You are correct, it is safer...especially on a motorcycle...IMHO

Yeah. I ride, too.

Silverback · Nov 9, 2019

Tinker Grey said:
Yeah. I ride, too.

Are you a Harley guy? I have a Triumph, great bike.

jacks · Nov 9, 2019

I know this goes with the "granny" image but AARP has some great driving resources. HERE Also they offer an on-line class HERE that can more than pay for itself. Not only does it have good information, it can reduce your insurance premiums. It lowers mine (USAA) by about $40 per year.

My take on round-abouts is they slow cars down, so even if they cause more accidents they are at a slower speed. They can be very confusing however, and too small if you are towing a trailer to stay in your lane. Also if one direction of traffic is heavily traveled the other direction never gets to go. Where I live they are going to have to take out a round-about for this reason.

As far as speed limits the sign I find funniest is "Speed Limit 65, Trucks 60". If I ever saw a semi doing only 60 on the interstate (that wasn't up hill) I would assume it was broken down.

Tinker Grey · Nov 9, 2019

Silverback said:
Are you a Harley guy? I have a Triumph, great bike.

I like Harleys, but no; too, expensive. I like Triumphs too, but the idea of finding someone to work on it is a bit off-putting. (I'm not a gear-head.)

I ride a Yamaha V-Star 1100 (from before the Star became it's own line). I'd like my next bike to be either a Kawasaki Concours 1400 or a Yamaha FJR1300.

ETA: Contrast between 4 bikes including the 2 I mentioned and a Triumph. https://www.motorcyclistonline.com/...rophy-se-vs-yamaha-fjr1300-conquering-divide/

Silverback · Nov 9, 2019

Tinker Grey said:
I like Harleys, but no; too, expensive. I like Triumphs too, but the idea of finding someone to work on it is a bit off-putting. (I'm not a gear-head.)

I ride a Yamaha V-Star 1100 (from before the Star became it's own line). I'd like my next bike to be either a Kawasaki Concours 1400 or a Yamaha FJR1300.

ETA: Contrast between 4 bikes including the 2 I mentioned and a Triumph. https://www.motorcyclistonline.com/...rophy-se-vs-yamaha-fjr1300-conquering-divide/

Small world, I had the old version of the Concours, probably the best bike I ever had, it had a four hour seat, which was really nice, as to that a windshield, and hard bags, and it was a nice package. Additionally, it also had sport bike performance.

The only downside was valve adjustments every 6K miles, and at the time my job was 65 miles from my home, 130 miles per day, every day for three years got really expensive.

Now I want to go out and buy a new bike...thanks

essentialsaltes · Nov 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
During that online discussion, I was derisively called "granny" and ordered to stay in the right lane. I brought up the subject of making a left turn. If I know I'm going to be turning left soon, I'm going to be in the left lane.

As long as it's 'soon', that's not a problem.

I don't know about other states, but here, the rule about keeping right except to pass applies only to the highways.

The rules do depend on the state and are sometimes just for interstates and/or highways, and sometimes for all laned streets.

Screen_Shot_2015-05-22_at_9.10.33_AM.0.png

Do you obey speed limits, even if they seem silly? Why or why not? How exactly do "slow" drivers (defined by that discussion as those who drive less than 10 miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit) "cause" road rage, or accidents?

There are only two kinds of people on the road: jerks driving slower than you and maniacs driving faster than you.

I do drive fast, but I'm also pretty polite. People plugging up the left lane does bug me. I'll be patient for an opportunity to pass safely, but I will likely do it somewhat extra speedily (which may detract from safety). Not just to make the most of a brief gap if the hotrod behind me also wants to pass, but also to potentially send a message to the slower driver that maybe they don't belong in the fast lane.

LovebirdsFlying · Nov 9, 2019

I appreciate the input. I'll probably come through as I have a chance and try to respond to each individual one, but I don't know if that can be done.

Many thanks for the AARP links.

I probably will make it a goal to overcome my fear of the interstate, but I have to build up to it gradually. Maybe once I get comfortable with one exit, next time I'll try two, etc.

There was never any real reason I couldn't have learned to drive earlier in life. I don't think I'll ever understand why nobody I knew was willing to teach me. It's kind of complicated. Family had it in their heads that I just wasn't capable, or coordinated enough, or whatever, so they didn't bother teaching me. Why did they think that? It could be connected to the fact that I was slower than most children at learning other physical things like running, riding a bicycle, throwing a ball, jumping rope, climbing a tree. Maybe they figured if I had trouble with those things, then driving would also be more difficult, and they didn't want to take the "extra" time and effort they assumed I'd need.

I remember my mother telling a family friend that for some mysterious reason, I "just can't" learn to drive, and she doesn't know why, but maybe I have a mental block or something. I must point out that at the time she said this, I was still in my teens, and neither she nor anyone else had ever even taken me out for lesson one. In other words, she didn't even give me a chance. Just assumed without testing that I "can't."

If I did develop a mental block, whatever that is, it was because for decades I had it impressed on me that driving a car is both extremely difficult and extremely dangerous. "If I'm going to do this, I have to do everything exactly right. I can't afford to mess it up, because my slightest mistake could kill somebody." If you were going into it with that thought, wouldn't it freeze you up? Naturally it did me. So, self-fulfilling prophecy, I did gradually develop that fear. Good grief, I only wanted to drive a car. Not disarm a landmine!

When I met and married my husband, he was absolutely indispensable in helping me learn to drive. He bought me the used car to practice in, and paid for lessons, and stuck with me until I got it right. Nobody had ever done that for me before. Family acted utterly shocked that I even wanted to, let alone that I could.

But I'm years behind in clearing these hurdles, and I'm going to clear them at a slower rate than most people. Interstate driving will come. I almost did it today, but I chickened out.

Tinker Grey · Nov 9, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
When I met and married my husband, he was absolutely indispensable in helping me learn to drive. He bought me the used car to practice in, and paid for lessons, and stuck with me until I got it right. Nobody had ever done that for me before. Family acted utterly shocked that I even wanted to, let alone that I could.

Sounds like you have a winner of a husband. Good for you. Hold on to him.

LovebirdsFlying · Nov 9, 2019

Tinker Grey said:
Sounds like you have a winner of a husband. Good for you. Hold on to him.

I plan to.

We just celebrated our 11th anniversary two days ago. That's a heart for each year so far.

I don't talk to family of origin anymore. My husband, my therapists, and even our pastor (from whom I would have expected a blanket "honor thy mother" and "turn the other cheek," but no, that's not what I got) are all in agreement that cutting off contact with them would be best for my mental and spiritual health. And it has been. I never would have progressed to the point of driving myself to a full-time job if I were still facing the life script they wrote for me.

LovebirdsFlying · Nov 11, 2019

Hello again.

This evening, as I was out running errands, somebody honked at me impatiently while I was making a left turn (yes, I was signaling) from northbound to westbound. I was being cautious about it for the simple reason that left turns must yield to oncoming traffic, and there were several cars coming through the intersection southbound. In fact, what I had was a flashing yellow arrow. Southbound traffic had a solid green. They had the right of way. What was I supposed to do, push through and hit one of those southbound cars? Or have one of them hit me? Or make them have to stop at a green light so they can let me through? Of course I yielded. But that action drew an angry honk.

After I completed the turn, I was now in the right lane, westbound, doing the speed limit (40). I don't know for sure, but I suspect it was the same person who honked, came zooming up the left lane from behind me, doing at least 60, maybe more. This person wants to be reckless, no skin off my nose. But it made me think of those I have heard blaming slow drivers for "causing" road rage and accidents. Would this person consider me a slow driver? Maybe. Did he/she put it to the floor in anger that I made him/her wait about half a second? Possibly. Did he/she cuss at me and make a certain hand gesture while speeding past? Too dark to know. Also seems likely, but I don't really care.

It also made me think about what Anguspere said in this thread about how speeding doesn't really save any time. People only do it because they enjoy it. They aren't really going to get there any faster. This, I have observed too. What got me called "granny" in that online discussion was when I talked about people who race past me only to get stopped by a red light, which I casually cruise up to about two seconds later, and there we are side by side. I find it funny when that happens, myself.

Yes, some people just enjoy speeding. Back during my first marriage, when my children were little, the same thing used to happen every week before church. I'd have myself and both children all dressed and ready to go, while ex-husband sat around on the couch in his underwear, watching television. I'd tell him we're going to be late if we don't leave soon, and he'd shrug it off. By the time we were pulling out of the driveway, we were running fifteen minutes late. He'd try to make up for lost time by driving 70 in a 35, passing other cars on a double yellow line, playing "chicken" with red lights. Like I said, every week this happened. Wouldn't you think he'd figure out that maybe next week, he needs to be ready so we can leave the house earlier?

But if we had enough time to get to church without driving like that, it would have taken away his excuse to drive like that. Then where would be his fun?

I now know that subjecting family members to reckless driving is a form of domestic abuse, and it wasn't the only form he was guilty of. One of many reasons he's now my ex-husband.

OldWiseGuy · Nov 16, 2019

Tinker Grey said:
Convince yourself that you need to learn to drive on the highway. Get hubby to take you out.

The highway is much safer than the roads you're on; there is never anyone entering the highway perpendicular to you; nobody turning left in front of you; people heading off a ramp need not come to a sudden stop; no roundabouts. You'll never need to take a left turn. You can drive in the right lane indefinitely and then coast down your exit ramp.

Two places reveal human nature for all to see: Supermarkets, and, the interstate highways.

I frequent both and can say without equivocation, that there is something terribly wrong with us (meaning them of course).

JackRT · Nov 16, 2019

The best advice I have ever received about driving was from the grizzled old sergeant who taught me to drive. He said "Son, always remember that right of way is always given, it should never be taken." There are quite a few traffic circles or roundabouts being constructed in my area and the worst mistake is forgetting that the traffic already in the circle has absolute right of way.

Rajni · Nov 16, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
During that online discussion, I was derisively called "granny" and ordered to stay in the right lane. I brought up the subject of making a left turn. If I know I'm going to be turning left soon, I'm going to be in the left lane. I'm not going to wait until the last minute and take a chance on missing my turn because nobody would let me over. What do they expect me to do? Stay in the right lane until I get to where I'm turning, and then cut across traffic? Silence. No answer. Not even a mocking one. I guess I won that round. By the way, I don't know about other states, but here, the rule about keeping right except to pass applies only to the highways. Not to the kind of streets that have traffic lights. I'll grant you that the speed limits feel ridiculously low on my route to and from work, but it is the law.

^ This. This right here.

When I still had a car (got rid of it over a year ago and don't
regret it one bit), I'd be the kind of driver who would get into
the left lane well before the left-turn I was going to have to
make came into view. Yes, this annoys those who use the left
lane for ~~speeding~~ passing, but I think that sort of driver did it to
themselves, as they're likely the same ones who, if I were to
do it the Right Way and wait until I was within view of the left-
turn before moving into the left lane, will speed up to block me
from being able to slide over into that left lane, causing me to
miss my turn.

Therefore, to avoid being actively blocked from being able to
make my left-turn, I get into the left lane long before I need to
make the left turn. Again, the aggressive drivers did this to
themselves. If I could trust them to let me over when I need to
get over, I would be more willing to remain in the right lane
until I absolutely needed the left one. Too much ego behind too
many steering-wheels. One reason I don't miss driving.

LovebirdsFlying said:
Do you obey speed limits, even if they seem silly? Why or why not? How exactly do "slow" drivers (defined by that discussion as those who drive less than 10 miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit) "cause" road rage, or accidents? And does anybody have any handy hints for negotiating roundabouts?

As I got older, I did. I would even set my cruise-control to the
speed limit (or maybe a few points higher) so I wouldn't have to
keep checking the dashboard to make sure I was going at the
right speed. I can't afford speeding tickets like many
apparently can.

Besides, my tax dollars paid for those speed-limit signs, so
why would I ignore them?

-

Rajni · Nov 16, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
It also made me think about what Anguspere said in this thread about how speeding doesn't really save any time. People only do it because they enjoy it. They aren't really going to get there any faster. This, I have observed too. What got me called "granny" in that online discussion was when I talked about people who race past me only to get stopped by a red light, which I casually cruise up to about two seconds later, and there we are side by side. I find it funny when that happens, myself.

This has been my experience, as well. I loved going
the speed limit while someone zips by me, only for me
to pull up alongside them at the next red light.

Now, if you're driving an emergency vehicle or police
car, speeding would benefit you because you can
(carefully) run red lights and traffic generally moves out
of your way to help you progress more quickly to where
you need to go.

-

Rajni · Nov 16, 2019

OldWiseGuy said:
Two places reveal human nature for all to see: Supermarkets, and, the interstate highways.

I frequent both and can say without equivocation, that there is something terribly wrong with us (meaning them of course).

I work as a cashier in a grocery store.
Customer-service has definitely been an eye-opener....

-

OldWiseGuy · Nov 16, 2019

RayJeena said:
I work as a cashier in a grocery store.
Customer-service has definitely been an eye-opener....

-

I spent many years in the grocery business, loved it. What store/chain do you work for?

LovebirdsFlying · Nov 16, 2019

I was thinking of this thread on Thursday and Friday as I went to work. I studied the traffic patterns and took note of when, if ever, it would be safe to make a lane change. For the main part of the trip, on what used to be a highway but is now a suburban route with two lanes in each direction, I'm turning right when I get on it. My next turn will be left, but that's five miles away. Before I reach the place where there are the two roundabouts in rapid succession, traffic is heavy in the left lane while relatively light in the right lane. Once I get past that point, the road is too darn curvy to make a lane change, and my left turn is now just a couple of blocks away. In short, if I don't switch to the left lane almost immediately, I won't be able to. And that's probably what everybody else is thinking too, which is why the left lane fills up so quickly.

I thought this cartoon might be appropriate.

Tinker Grey · Nov 16, 2019

LovebirdsFlying said:
I was thinking of this thread on Thursday and Friday as I went to work. I studied the traffic patterns and took note of when, if ever, it would be safe to make a lane change. For the main part of the trip, on what used to be a highway but is now a suburban route with two lanes in each direction, I'm turning right when I get on it. My next turn will be left, but that's five miles away. Before I reach the place where there are the two roundabouts in rapid succession, traffic is heavy in the left lane while relatively light in the right lane. Once I get past that point, the road is too darn curvy to make a lane change, and my left turn is now just a couple of blocks away. In short, if I don't switch to the left lane almost immediately, I won't be able to. And that's probably what everybody else is thinking too, which is why the left lane fills up so quickly.

I thought this cartoon might be appropriate.

View attachment 266810

I'm telling ya, you'll find the interstate a piece of cake compared to what you are describing.

I'd like to talk about driving, please.

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God is Love

Wanderer

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Er Victus

Wanderer

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Stranger in a Strange Land

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

Wanderer

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

Wake me when it's soup.

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☯ Ego ad Eum pertinent ☯

☯ Ego ad Eum pertinent ☯

☯ Ego ad Eum pertinent ☯

Wake me when it's soup.

My husband drew this cartoon of me.

Wanderer

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