And we probably need to drop the whole "unconditional love" myth.
When Jesus commanded us that marriage is to be for life, He was talking to people whose marriages had been arranged, and particularly, that first marriage for men.
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. -- Proverbs 5
So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.-- Malachi 2
The "wife of your youth" was the marriage a young man's parents arranged. As he grew older and wealthier, he might arrange a second or third wife for himself, but the "wife of your youth" was the wife his parents arranged...not the wife of his own choice.
This was true across the board in those days, for Jews, for Greeks, and for Romans. Marriages were arranged. So, let's think about this: Marrying
for love was not part of the picture drawn by Christ.
People did not marry who they loved, they loved who they married. And to those people, the Apostle Paul said, "
Husbands, love your wives."
This is a command, it's an imperative. And even if we don't have arranged marriages (and I've learned there are some distinct advantages to arranged marriages, as long as the couple has a veto option), it still applies to all of us.
That's because people change over time. People always change over time. Even if that woman you fell in love with was perfect for you when you were first married, both you and she will change over time.
So that one day, you will look at the person you are married to and say, "This is not the person I fell in love with."
At that moment, you are just like someone who started out in an arranged marriage, and it becomes a deliberate decision on your part to love the person you have married.
