- Dec 13, 2015
- 5,261
- 4,247
- 37
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Calvinist
- Marital Status
- Married
Im starting to regret marrying my wife... I've opened many threads on this before and I'm sorry for doing it yet again but this is getting out of hand. My wife promised to my therapist Monday that she would start helping me clean and actually doing stuff because me doing pretty much everything is sending my panic disorder through the roof. I've always had chronic anxiety problems since I was very little so I always have gotten chronic panic attacks and massive levels of anxiety. I probably inherited the problem from my mother who has the very same anxiety issues and my father does/did virtually nothing to help my mom either. My mom had to work, clean,take care of my sister and I and make sure we were doing our homework at school (let's face it what kid wants yo do homework? Lol), just everything except cook and clean. Dad always at least did that. My dad hasnt worked since I was like 10 years old. I'm almost 34 now... so yeah that's how lazy my dad is too. Not to mention he just drinks his life away and enjoyed physically and verbally abusing me for MANY years.
Anyway my wife Jeanette promised that she would help out around the house to my therapist like shes promised me for six years now that she would. She lied and I couldnt take it anymore so I abused her by exploding at her and throwing a million guilt bombs at her and... That just isn't a marriage. We are barely married. The only person who makes an effort in our marriage and in our lives in me. But if I didnt do that she would have done nothing for 30+ years.
Anyway after I guilt bombed her into starting to care she did some cleaning and I joined her shortly after (I had some stuff to do on a video game we play together this morning) like I promised and have been promising her since day one. At least I keep my promises. Anyway, I was going through our safe and noticed an extremely strong pungent odor coming from it. I didnt mention it at all because its typical of our house to smell and I've been used to it smelling for almost six years now and I had just potentially gotten my wife to care after 6 years of prodding and begging her so I didn't want to destroy that by yelling at her or asking her why my $200+ safe reeked so bad. But eventually the smell became overpowering and I noticed that there was rust on my hands. So I finallh asked Jeanette what the odor was and why the safe was rusting and she said that our dog had been urinating on our safe and the wall behind it. Apparently hes liked to mark that wall ever since we got him like four years ago and my wife hasnt cared enough to pick it up after shes noticed it because shes the one that takes care of our dog not me. Honestly? I've NEVER noticed it. I just noticed that our bedroom smelled really bad like the rest of our house but I couldn't identify what the smell was. I thought it was because we didnt clean our trailer in the almost six years we've lived here. She said it was because of mold I honestly didnt know. I was just embarrassed as hell to have ANYONE come over because our house reeks so bad.
Anyway I'm upset because the safe is now destroyed and it's going to cost me over $400 to replace it because a good waterproof deadbolt safe is $400 plus tax plus $15 for amazon prime. $400 that I don't have due to me spending virtually all of our money and us living off of my disability check. We're in pretty large debt atm. (but that's my fault. I figure I "make" the money and budget it and run the house the least she can do is cook and clean." Plus I needed a new video card and computer and my only option was to charge it.)
The safe didnt even last me six years! I picked it out with my wife when we were dating so it also had sentimental value to me. But seriously! our dog urinates everywhere else to mark his territory and to get back at us when we leave the house and she can pick THAT up so how can she not pick up urine that was slowly destroying a several hundred dollar safe that had irreplaceable documents in it from back when I was born! Not to mention our fuel money and a canadian $2 bill that I inherited from my favorite grandfather when he passed away back in like 2017! That was IRREPLACABLE to me.
She claims she didnt know that dog urine would have destroyed the safe. I guess I can believe that because for four years it more I didnt know this was going on. But honestly anyone who knows anything knows that urine is acidic and eats through virtually everything. Including things that are waterproof and fireproof. Tgs safe wasnt immune to everything! And now my dad has to probably replace the wall that the dog peed on! No clue what that's going to cost him.
I... just dont know what to do and am just asking for advice. Like one how do you get a dog to stop marking his territory in his "favorite" spots? How do you clean up a wall that's been peed on for several years or is that wall just destroyed now and... how can I get my wife to actually care about me and the people around her! I mean she not only destroyed a $30,000 trailer that my mom pretty much gave us but she also doesnt give a crap about me or MY possessions either! I dont believe in divorce but this crap almost wants me to divorce her before my anxiety ends up LITERALLY killing me (but ofc she desnt care about that either).
Idk... I just dont know....
Anyway my wife Jeanette promised that she would help out around the house to my therapist like shes promised me for six years now that she would. She lied and I couldnt take it anymore so I abused her by exploding at her and throwing a million guilt bombs at her and... That just isn't a marriage. We are barely married. The only person who makes an effort in our marriage and in our lives in me. But if I didnt do that she would have done nothing for 30+ years.
Anyway after I guilt bombed her into starting to care she did some cleaning and I joined her shortly after (I had some stuff to do on a video game we play together this morning) like I promised and have been promising her since day one. At least I keep my promises. Anyway, I was going through our safe and noticed an extremely strong pungent odor coming from it. I didnt mention it at all because its typical of our house to smell and I've been used to it smelling for almost six years now and I had just potentially gotten my wife to care after 6 years of prodding and begging her so I didn't want to destroy that by yelling at her or asking her why my $200+ safe reeked so bad. But eventually the smell became overpowering and I noticed that there was rust on my hands. So I finallh asked Jeanette what the odor was and why the safe was rusting and she said that our dog had been urinating on our safe and the wall behind it. Apparently hes liked to mark that wall ever since we got him like four years ago and my wife hasnt cared enough to pick it up after shes noticed it because shes the one that takes care of our dog not me. Honestly? I've NEVER noticed it. I just noticed that our bedroom smelled really bad like the rest of our house but I couldn't identify what the smell was. I thought it was because we didnt clean our trailer in the almost six years we've lived here. She said it was because of mold I honestly didnt know. I was just embarrassed as hell to have ANYONE come over because our house reeks so bad.
Anyway I'm upset because the safe is now destroyed and it's going to cost me over $400 to replace it because a good waterproof deadbolt safe is $400 plus tax plus $15 for amazon prime. $400 that I don't have due to me spending virtually all of our money and us living off of my disability check. We're in pretty large debt atm. (but that's my fault. I figure I "make" the money and budget it and run the house the least she can do is cook and clean." Plus I needed a new video card and computer and my only option was to charge it.)
The safe didnt even last me six years! I picked it out with my wife when we were dating so it also had sentimental value to me. But seriously! our dog urinates everywhere else to mark his territory and to get back at us when we leave the house and she can pick THAT up so how can she not pick up urine that was slowly destroying a several hundred dollar safe that had irreplaceable documents in it from back when I was born! Not to mention our fuel money and a canadian $2 bill that I inherited from my favorite grandfather when he passed away back in like 2017! That was IRREPLACABLE to me.
She claims she didnt know that dog urine would have destroyed the safe. I guess I can believe that because for four years it more I didnt know this was going on. But honestly anyone who knows anything knows that urine is acidic and eats through virtually everything. Including things that are waterproof and fireproof. Tgs safe wasnt immune to everything! And now my dad has to probably replace the wall that the dog peed on! No clue what that's going to cost him.
I... just dont know what to do and am just asking for advice. Like one how do you get a dog to stop marking his territory in his "favorite" spots? How do you clean up a wall that's been peed on for several years or is that wall just destroyed now and... how can I get my wife to actually care about me and the people around her! I mean she not only destroyed a $30,000 trailer that my mom pretty much gave us but she also doesnt give a crap about me or MY possessions either! I dont believe in divorce but this crap almost wants me to divorce her before my anxiety ends up LITERALLY killing me (but ofc she desnt care about that either).
Idk... I just dont know....