I used to have a lot of psychological issues before my conversion. Since I've been reading a Bible I memorized a lot verses about using your head, and reason, being rational, putting God first, and the Bible, and so on. And not listening to your feelings since they can be deceiving.
That is true. I used to be an emotional wreck before because I used to listen to myself, my soul or my heart instead of my head or God. So I really took time to change this about me and guard my heart, not trust my emotions not to get hurt.
Since I'm a naturally very sensitive and emotional person, that has grounded me and help me. But at the same time I don't feel good anymore. It's like I blocked and repressed my emotions. It's like I'm in a state of denial. I feel dissociated and disconnected, like a robot. Like I brain washed myself with the Bible.
Even when I try to follow God's voice or Holy spirit, I still shut down my own emotions out of fear of making a mistake. I can not feel connected to people anymore. I feel only connection to God and when I pray. I get emotional only in front of God. But I miss my old self, the one that used to feel so much, laugh, have fun, enjoy life, being carefree. Now I'm at peace mostly, but it has no color, no emotions it in. Do you get what I'm saying?
I'm sad, but I can't even cry or share my feeling with people. I trust only God and I come only to Him. I feel isolated and less human. Have you ever felt that way? What am I doing wrong?
That is true. I used to be an emotional wreck before because I used to listen to myself, my soul or my heart instead of my head or God. So I really took time to change this about me and guard my heart, not trust my emotions not to get hurt.
Since I'm a naturally very sensitive and emotional person, that has grounded me and help me. But at the same time I don't feel good anymore. It's like I blocked and repressed my emotions. It's like I'm in a state of denial. I feel dissociated and disconnected, like a robot. Like I brain washed myself with the Bible.
Even when I try to follow God's voice or Holy spirit, I still shut down my own emotions out of fear of making a mistake. I can not feel connected to people anymore. I feel only connection to God and when I pray. I get emotional only in front of God. But I miss my old self, the one that used to feel so much, laugh, have fun, enjoy life, being carefree. Now I'm at peace mostly, but it has no color, no emotions it in. Do you get what I'm saying?
I'm sad, but I can't even cry or share my feeling with people. I trust only God and I come only to Him. I feel isolated and less human. Have you ever felt that way? What am I doing wrong?
