Should you leave a partner over weight gain/old age

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

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Bible says if for example husband did that and leave work and decided to not provide money to support his own family then he is worse than unbeliever , it's sin as any other just have to deal with it maybe with pastor or personally talk why he is not motivated to do so. Maybe he was just fed up with 8h work a day and his job but he would prefer working 4-5h a day in different field that's ok you just have to adapt your lifestyle to meet the lower income.

You probably made vows to God the day you got married that you both will be faithful untill death , breaking this will cause God to be very angry at you and punishment.

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

None of the situations above are reasons that should be used for divorce.

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

As Christians, we should be measuring our decisions based on God's word. Not the poor examples of love set by fellow sinners.

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

Definitely not. Marriage is not disposable. It's " 'til death do us part", not, "until we are fed up with it." Only God's love is unconditional. Relationships have to be worked on. It is possible. A neighbour, not a Christian, is full time carer for his invalid wife. He's in his late 60's. He has committed himself to his wife in spite (or maybe because of) her ailments. That's love.

I don't buy the argument that women divorce men just because they're out of work. I know enough couples who have stuck together through difficult times. It is also completely unacceptable for a Christian to divorce on that basis.

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

You keep using the term "partner."

Well, do you mean it? Do you even know what it really means to be a "partner?"

If you were in a business partnership, what happens when the business falls through? Does one partner get to dance away unscathed and leave the other partner with all the losses?

My wife and I agreed to enter a partnership to get through life. I watch her back, she watches mine. We are both in our sixties, and although our health is good at the moment, we have observed enough old people to know that can change for either at any given moment. Any given visit to the doctor could end with bad news for either of us.

And while that seems emphasized by our old age, it was always true. There was always the real possibility of accident or mishap that could have left either of us paralyzed or permanently debilitated.

And each of us has done financially stupid things that has disadvantaged the other over the years.

But we both realize that being two people working together for our mutual benefit has resulted in a more satisfactory life than we would have had separately, and an important part of that agreement is the mutual commitment to have each other's back all the time.

Which is the point of this short video clip:

Mat_5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Ecc 5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
Ecc 5:5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.

Psa_116:18 I will pay my vows unto the LORD now in the presence of all his people,

Marriage vows are not to be broken.

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

It is a little hard to believe that this question is a serious one on a Christian forum, but I will address it as if it were.

I am a married minister with 34 years of marriage and 25 years of service. In all of the circumstances you described "unconditional" love is very possible. People often have a misconception about what unconditional love is - you can love a person and dislike or even hate their actions or the fact that they do not take care of themselves properly.

You CAN hate the rape or murder but still love the offender - Jesus does.
You CAN dislike the financial choices a spouse makes or hate the lack of funds and still love the spouse - Jesus does. In my 34 years of marriage, we have plenty and nothing at times and believe me 'broke me do get love' if they pick the right woman, to begin with. My husband will be the first to tell you he has received more love than he deserved over the years.
You CAN love someone even if they age, wrinkle, get fat, and lose their looks - Jesus does.

The idea that you leave someone to get a younger, thinner, prettier model is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! That type of mindset does not honor God at all. The men who do that need to take a look in the mirror and stop fooling themselves; they are older, have more wrinkles, less hair, and do not look as good as they once did. That said, I have alway, for all my 34 years of marriage, believed that a woman (men too for that matter) has a responsibility to herself and her spouse to always look her best and take care of herself, with special focus on her husband's preferences when it comes to her look and manner of dress - keep applying the lipstick everyday and no sweatpants except at the gym or when hubby is not home.

Back to men who leave their wives for a you younger, prettier, thinner, model - - In my life and profession I cannot tell you how many times I have heard from women that the man who left them x amount of years earlier wants to come back now because he realizes what a huge mistake he made - some women agreed to take them back and other flatly refused. Also, I have heard from men who regret bitterly leaving their wives; as once the fun was over, or he hit on hard times or poor health, the younger, prettier, thinner model was gone - these men desperately wanted the wife of their youth back and did not know how to get her back. Very sad to see!

To everyone - - - If you have someone in life who truly loves you, no matter where life takes the two of you, you better think very carefully and very long before you give them up because you may never be able to get them back or find such "true unconditional love" again.

If someone marries someone expecting them to look the same for life, then there is something seriously wrong with expectations. People will get old. Bodies do change, especially as we age. Things like that shouldn’t determine our love for someone. If looks for life is the reason for marriage then the marriage isn’t done for the right reason.

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

The reality is:

• An unmarried person can break off their relationship with someone they're dating for whatever reason. They are not bound to that person for life.
• A married person is in a covenant relationship with their spouse for life, therefore, short of abandonment or infidelity on the part of their spouse, they are in it "for better or worse."

The poll question was specifically about marriage, but in the OP you seem to equate relationship with marriage, using devices like "husband/boyfriend". Husband and boyfriend are most assuredly not the same thing.

Husbands have a rather long and detailed list of specific roles, duties, and responsibilities in a Christian marriage. The books of Ephesians, Corinthians, and Galatians, talk at length about the role of a husband. I recommend you endeavor to understand that list, so that you can know what a proper Christian husband looks like.

Christian "boyfriends" are husbands in training and should be exhibiting less mature versions of the same roles and responsibilities husbands are expected to show.

In a relationship, you should leave your partner if he/she gets fat, because if he/she does not care now, how much worse it will look after marriage or children. It applies also to other bad habits/lifestyle, not just overeating.

In a marriage, no. You cannot, marriage is for whole life. You must live with what you have chosen. In worst cases, separation is posible, but never a new husband/wife.

Reborn1977 said:

Back to men who leave their wives for a you younger, prettier, thinner, model - - In my life and profession I cannot tell you how many times I have heard from women that the man who left them x amount of years earlier wants to come back now because he realizes what a huge mistake he made - some women agreed to take them back and other flatly refused. Also, I have heard from men who regret bitterly leaving their wives; as once the fun was over, or he hit on hard times or poor health, the younger, prettier, thinner model was gone - these men desperately wanted the wife of their youth back and did not know how to get her back. Very sad to see!

Click to expand...

As the comedian Sinbad says, "When you hit 55, you need a woman who knows the signs of stroke."

Notmyname said:

I do not believe relationships are unconditional love like many people claim, simple because if you’re partner did something horrible like rape/murder you probably wouldn’t love them anymore, which means you’re love isn’t unconditional.

Anyway If you as a husband/boyfriend said hey honey I’ve decided to quit my job and I’m not going to find another so you should just love me for who I am, or has hard financial times we all know the wife will more then likely file for divorce and find another guy because relationships aren’t unconditional love.

As the old saying goes broke men get no love.

So Wouldn’t that make it ok for a husband/boyfriend to leave his partner and replace them with a much younger prettier women if she gains to much weight or gets to old.

It’s basically the same concept.

Click to expand...

I would refer you to Matthew 19:1-9 for the answer to that one.

Since you have received so many answers to your question I am curious if any of them caused you to reconsider your thoughts on the nature of unconditional love?

Aussie Pete said:

Definitely not. Marriage is not disposable. It's " 'til death do us part", not, "until we are fed up with it."

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Since you are tagged as divorced how do you handle this dichotomy in your own life ?

My best friends wife promised him when they got married that she would never get fat. She broke that promise. Now causing him a lot of grief.

They are non believers and he is sticking with her.
Believers should do the same.
But, something tells me that this ain't that easy?

M-Bob

Mountainmanbob said:

My best friends wife promised him when they got married that she would never get fat.

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Fat chance of that.

Jonathan Walkerin said:

Fat chance of that.

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Depends on who you marry?
Although no promises made
my wife was in great shape when we got married.

She's 57 now and still smoking.
It will be 4AM here soon and she will be rising
to hit the gym before her long day at work.

She has been doing that for many years.
Maybe best to study their lifelong habits?

Don't eat healthy, lazy or don't exercise?
Probably a bad bet.
M-Bob