So early in the Summer I met a guy in kind of a cute and interesting way. I was asking my elderly neighbor if she knew of a good handyman and she gave me the number of a guy that always did work for her. She had known him since he was a boy and he also had a lot of family living on our tiny lane. I thought it sounded good so I gave him a call to get some small projects done around my house. He showed up on my doorstep a couple days later and it was basically love at first sight for both of us. He got all of my projects done very quickly and charged me almost nothing. And before he would leave, he would always notice something else in the house that needed fixing and would offer to come back and fix it for free. I would let him come back and fix things, because I knew that it was just an excuse for him to see me. It was actually pretty adorable and wholesome.
After about a month, he mentioned that he was moving in with his uncle two houses down the street from me and was wondering if we could hang out, since we would be neighbors. I was a little nervous about dating a neighbor but couldn't help but like the idea, so from that point on we started seeing each other. The first couple of dates were really awkward, because we would meet at my house and were both very shy and quiet. It felt awkward having a guy I barely knew coming into my house and hanging out, but honestly he had already been coming into my house anyway to fix things. In getting to know each other better we were thrilled to find out that we both were Christians and had a bunch of other things in common. Once we got past the initial awkward stage things moved pretty fast. We both confessed that we fell hard for each other right from day one and that we both felt that this was meant to be. He confessed to me that he felt like I might be the one for him. He said every beautiful thing that a woman would ever want to hear. That he was willing to wait for marriage. That I was perfect for him and that he loved me for my heart. That he wanted to take care of me and do whatever it takes. I had confessed to him that I had been very lonely before we met and he said that he would see to it that that would be a thing of the past, and that I would never be lonely again. I was seriously in Heaven. Had I finally found the man whom I've been waiting for? It seemed so clear that God had brought the two of us together. He was a good man. He was incredibly kind, gentle, quiet, generous and thoughtful. He knew how to fix just about anything... from electronics to home stuff to cars. And we had everything in common. I told a couple of people about him (Christians whom I trusted) and they were thrilled for me. They even said that I should marry him. It seemed like we both just knew that we had found the one. The feeling was totally mutual.
Being neighbors, we saw each other a lot. Almost every day. I never asked him to, but he would offer to do things for me like pick up groceries and mow my lawn. He would buy the most thoughtful gifts for me that I always loved, and I'm very picky about gifts. I never wanted him to do any of these things but he always insisted because he wanted me to know that he wanted to take care of me. We were talking about possibly marrying soon, and he said that he even had a ring picked out. In a way, it was almost as if we were already married. I had already decided that he was going to be my husband. And he said that he had already decided that I was going to be his wife. It was like we both just knew. I have never had anything like this happen before, and he also said the same thing.
One thing led to another. About a month and a half into our relationship we started to be physically intimate. On the one hand it was fantastic, but on the other hand I felt incredibly guilty, because since coming to the Lord two years ago I had promised Him that I would wait until marriage before the next time I would do those things. I felt incredibly torn. It was hard to really enjoy being with him because I felt so convicted about it. After about two weeks I sat down with him and told him as gently as I could that I still wanted to wait until marriage and that we needed to stop. To my relief, he said he was totally fine with that. I was honestly overjoyed. I was so relieved to be in a pure relationship again.
Everything was fine and normal for about a week or two. Then I started noticing something different about him. He suddenly started pulling away a little. He started to get really busy at work (he actually isn't a handyman, he does drywall for a living). He started doing a lot of things with his son without me, and would come up with excuses as to why I suddenly couldn't see his son anymore. (I didn't mention before that he had a four year old son that I had met and spent time with a couple of times previously. He and I had been really starting to bond.) He started to get sick all the time. We would still see each other, but it started getting to the point where he would only come over if I asked. It seemed like he never really wanted to see me anymore. He would say that he did and that he still loved me, but I could see that his heart wasn't really in it.
I sat down with him a couple of times and tried to ask him if everything really was okay. Did we make a mistake? Was waiting for marriage going to be too hard for him after all? Did he want to break up with me? Should be take a break? Did I meet his son too soon? Was work getting to be too much for him? I tried to be as honest and loving with him as possible. I really wanted to know the truth of how he was really feeling, because I knew something was wrong. Sometimes I even cried. Each time we talked about this, he would tell me that everything was okay and that he was just busy and overwhelmed with work. He would hold me, tell me he was sorry, and say that he loved me.
I'd be reassured for a little bit, but then it just wouldn't ever get any better. He seemed to be pulling away even more as time went by. Sometimes I would wonder if I would ever even see him again, or if he would just disappear one day. It was really strange. It was clear to me that he was going through the motions and that his heart wasn't really in it anymore. He said he didn't want to break up with me, so I just stuck with it for a while and did everything I could to be a good girlfriend to him. I would try to spend more time with him. I had him over for dinner. I brought him soup one day when he was home sick. He really seemed to appreciate all of it. I just figured that he was really overwhelmed with work and life. I gave him the benefit of a doubt for a while.
After about a month of this and things not getting any better I finally got to a breaking point and couldn't take it anymore. We had only been in a relationship for a total of three months, and this strangeness had taken up a third of our entire relationship and was only slowly worsening in spite of all my efforts to make it better. I invited him over and was really upset. I wanted to have one last talk with him that night and then break up if we couldn't work it out, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it while he was there for some reason. He said that he would text me good night after he left, but he never did (which was unusual, because I always would hear from him). So I sent him a text asking one last time if there was anything wrong and if there was anything he needed to tell me, and he finally responded back over text late that night that he was really struggling with my whole decision to wait until marriage. He had been trying to work it out with himself and see if this was something he was okay with and could handle and was starting to see that it was too hard and that he couldn't handle it... especially after we had already done things together. We talked about it a bit more and then finally decided to break up... over text.
That was about a month and half ago. He is still my neighbor, and lives almost right next door to me on our tiny dirt lane. We haven't spoken or even looked at each other since that night. I have been DEVASTATED. I can honestly say this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I see his cars parked in the driveway and am reminded of everything every day. I have prayed and fasted over this. I have sought prayer over this from my small group at church. To this day I still struggle and have a hard time having peace about it. I hate the way how it ended. I understand that we made a mistake, but I can't understand why we couldn't have just worked it out. It seemed like something we could've worked through if we really loved each other, which I thought we did (or at least I thought HE did). This whole thing has left me completely broken. I have even thought about moving, but I feel like the Lord is telling me to stay put. I own this home, so it would be kind of difficult for me to move anyway. It was foolish what I did, but now I don't know how I'm ever going to get through this. I've just been taking it one day at a time.
Sorry this ended up being so long. I just want to have peace and closure. Please let me know your thoughts on this and feel free to ask if you want to know any more details. I know that God is going to use this somehow, but lately it's just been so hard. Thanks so much for your input and prayers!
After about a month, he mentioned that he was moving in with his uncle two houses down the street from me and was wondering if we could hang out, since we would be neighbors. I was a little nervous about dating a neighbor but couldn't help but like the idea, so from that point on we started seeing each other. The first couple of dates were really awkward, because we would meet at my house and were both very shy and quiet. It felt awkward having a guy I barely knew coming into my house and hanging out, but honestly he had already been coming into my house anyway to fix things. In getting to know each other better we were thrilled to find out that we both were Christians and had a bunch of other things in common. Once we got past the initial awkward stage things moved pretty fast. We both confessed that we fell hard for each other right from day one and that we both felt that this was meant to be. He confessed to me that he felt like I might be the one for him. He said every beautiful thing that a woman would ever want to hear. That he was willing to wait for marriage. That I was perfect for him and that he loved me for my heart. That he wanted to take care of me and do whatever it takes. I had confessed to him that I had been very lonely before we met and he said that he would see to it that that would be a thing of the past, and that I would never be lonely again. I was seriously in Heaven. Had I finally found the man whom I've been waiting for? It seemed so clear that God had brought the two of us together. He was a good man. He was incredibly kind, gentle, quiet, generous and thoughtful. He knew how to fix just about anything... from electronics to home stuff to cars. And we had everything in common. I told a couple of people about him (Christians whom I trusted) and they were thrilled for me. They even said that I should marry him. It seemed like we both just knew that we had found the one. The feeling was totally mutual.
Being neighbors, we saw each other a lot. Almost every day. I never asked him to, but he would offer to do things for me like pick up groceries and mow my lawn. He would buy the most thoughtful gifts for me that I always loved, and I'm very picky about gifts. I never wanted him to do any of these things but he always insisted because he wanted me to know that he wanted to take care of me. We were talking about possibly marrying soon, and he said that he even had a ring picked out. In a way, it was almost as if we were already married. I had already decided that he was going to be my husband. And he said that he had already decided that I was going to be his wife. It was like we both just knew. I have never had anything like this happen before, and he also said the same thing.
One thing led to another. About a month and a half into our relationship we started to be physically intimate. On the one hand it was fantastic, but on the other hand I felt incredibly guilty, because since coming to the Lord two years ago I had promised Him that I would wait until marriage before the next time I would do those things. I felt incredibly torn. It was hard to really enjoy being with him because I felt so convicted about it. After about two weeks I sat down with him and told him as gently as I could that I still wanted to wait until marriage and that we needed to stop. To my relief, he said he was totally fine with that. I was honestly overjoyed. I was so relieved to be in a pure relationship again.
Everything was fine and normal for about a week or two. Then I started noticing something different about him. He suddenly started pulling away a little. He started to get really busy at work (he actually isn't a handyman, he does drywall for a living). He started doing a lot of things with his son without me, and would come up with excuses as to why I suddenly couldn't see his son anymore. (I didn't mention before that he had a four year old son that I had met and spent time with a couple of times previously. He and I had been really starting to bond.) He started to get sick all the time. We would still see each other, but it started getting to the point where he would only come over if I asked. It seemed like he never really wanted to see me anymore. He would say that he did and that he still loved me, but I could see that his heart wasn't really in it.
I sat down with him a couple of times and tried to ask him if everything really was okay. Did we make a mistake? Was waiting for marriage going to be too hard for him after all? Did he want to break up with me? Should be take a break? Did I meet his son too soon? Was work getting to be too much for him? I tried to be as honest and loving with him as possible. I really wanted to know the truth of how he was really feeling, because I knew something was wrong. Sometimes I even cried. Each time we talked about this, he would tell me that everything was okay and that he was just busy and overwhelmed with work. He would hold me, tell me he was sorry, and say that he loved me.
I'd be reassured for a little bit, but then it just wouldn't ever get any better. He seemed to be pulling away even more as time went by. Sometimes I would wonder if I would ever even see him again, or if he would just disappear one day. It was really strange. It was clear to me that he was going through the motions and that his heart wasn't really in it anymore. He said he didn't want to break up with me, so I just stuck with it for a while and did everything I could to be a good girlfriend to him. I would try to spend more time with him. I had him over for dinner. I brought him soup one day when he was home sick. He really seemed to appreciate all of it. I just figured that he was really overwhelmed with work and life. I gave him the benefit of a doubt for a while.
After about a month of this and things not getting any better I finally got to a breaking point and couldn't take it anymore. We had only been in a relationship for a total of three months, and this strangeness had taken up a third of our entire relationship and was only slowly worsening in spite of all my efforts to make it better. I invited him over and was really upset. I wanted to have one last talk with him that night and then break up if we couldn't work it out, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it while he was there for some reason. He said that he would text me good night after he left, but he never did (which was unusual, because I always would hear from him). So I sent him a text asking one last time if there was anything wrong and if there was anything he needed to tell me, and he finally responded back over text late that night that he was really struggling with my whole decision to wait until marriage. He had been trying to work it out with himself and see if this was something he was okay with and could handle and was starting to see that it was too hard and that he couldn't handle it... especially after we had already done things together. We talked about it a bit more and then finally decided to break up... over text.
That was about a month and half ago. He is still my neighbor, and lives almost right next door to me on our tiny dirt lane. We haven't spoken or even looked at each other since that night. I have been DEVASTATED. I can honestly say this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I see his cars parked in the driveway and am reminded of everything every day. I have prayed and fasted over this. I have sought prayer over this from my small group at church. To this day I still struggle and have a hard time having peace about it. I hate the way how it ended. I understand that we made a mistake, but I can't understand why we couldn't have just worked it out. It seemed like something we could've worked through if we really loved each other, which I thought we did (or at least I thought HE did). This whole thing has left me completely broken. I have even thought about moving, but I feel like the Lord is telling me to stay put. I own this home, so it would be kind of difficult for me to move anyway. It was foolish what I did, but now I don't know how I'm ever going to get through this. I've just been taking it one day at a time.
Sorry this ended up being so long. I just want to have peace and closure. Please let me know your thoughts on this and feel free to ask if you want to know any more details. I know that God is going to use this somehow, but lately it's just been so hard. Thanks so much for your input and prayers!
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