- Feb 25, 2006
- 2,875
- 861
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
If any of you have followed my spiritual journey at all knows that i've been struggling a lot. Over the last 5 months, things have been stable, though still difficult and i was still confused and I kept asking God for help and to erase this confusion which never happened. I had tried explaining how back btwn last Feb-April, I had been experiencing 'changes' and was getting several a day until it leveled off and became stable btwn May-Oct 31. Nov 1 hit and I began to experience these 'changes' again and again more difficult then it had been. I can't deal w/ it being more difficult. I hadn't conquered what God had given me previously and I kept asking God to make it easier, not harder and yet, it's harder yet again. Nov 1, I experienced 2 changes, Nov 2, one, Nov 3, 2 and today 3-4 so far. I am nervous, I do not know how to stay faithful throughout all this again. Confusion reigns supreme still. I am holding on, staying firm, yet, unhappy. This morning, I again prayed for God to remove this confusion from me and to make staying faithful easier. God did give me peace for about a half an hour, but, then awoke to a difficult 'feeling' ---
All, I ask, if you reply, Do NOT tell me I can't rely on my feelings. I had lived by feelings Only for 18 full years w/ everything God put me through and now, it's still feelings. Yes, I know feelings lie, yes, i know you're not supposed to live by your feelings, but, i don't know any other way bc of everything I've been thru in the last 18 yrs.
I cannot handle this negativity. This is extremely difficult. Another test/trial/whatever. I absolutely HATE this. I feel like letting go. I can't say this is as bad as things were 6 months ago, but, this is bad, negative.
I remember my one friend telling me how God doesn't give us anything negative bc he doesn't want us to fail but he allows satan to tempt us and that is what can feel negative but, that God won't allow the negative to stay long and that he'll deliver me again... so... i just need to hang in there and wait.
I'm not sure if I want advice bc I know from the past, people on here have condemned me for my explaining about these feelings and changes. It's what I'm going thru. Just believe it and don't condemn me for it.
All, I ask, if you reply, Do NOT tell me I can't rely on my feelings. I had lived by feelings Only for 18 full years w/ everything God put me through and now, it's still feelings. Yes, I know feelings lie, yes, i know you're not supposed to live by your feelings, but, i don't know any other way bc of everything I've been thru in the last 18 yrs.
I cannot handle this negativity. This is extremely difficult. Another test/trial/whatever. I absolutely HATE this. I feel like letting go. I can't say this is as bad as things were 6 months ago, but, this is bad, negative.
I remember my one friend telling me how God doesn't give us anything negative bc he doesn't want us to fail but he allows satan to tempt us and that is what can feel negative but, that God won't allow the negative to stay long and that he'll deliver me again... so... i just need to hang in there and wait.
I'm not sure if I want advice bc I know from the past, people on here have condemned me for my explaining about these feelings and changes. It's what I'm going thru. Just believe it and don't condemn me for it.