A non-sinful act, but won't do it regardless

ThisIsMe123 said:

Sorry, but where are you getting adultery from kissing?

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Your thoughts while kissing....if you MUST kiss a woman that you are dating, it brings in question what you are thinking about while kissing.

As a formerly married woman, I see any form of kissing beyond a quick peck as foreplay....and I think God intended it that way. It gets your hormones going....

Maybe you think of Jesus and your mother while romantically kissing a woman, so I could be wrong.

blackribbon said:

Your thoughts while kissing....if you MUST kiss a woman that you are dating, it brings in question what you are thinking about while kissing.

As a formerly married woman, I see any form of kissing beyond a quick peck as foreplay....and I think God intended it that way. It gets your hormones going....

Maybe you think of Jesus and your mother while romantically kissing a woman, so I could be wrong.

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For what it's worth, I like your sarcasm. It's endearing and pretty darn funny. Rock on

ThisIsMe123 said:

Of course I can. I've done it before and had no such thoughts. Correlation does not imply causation.

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What are you thinking about then...and why would no premarital kissing then be a requirement for you to date a woman?

(remember, you brought up the subject)

Lost4words said:

Imagine you just got married and you kissed the very first time when you realised she never brushed her teeth and 80% of her teeth were black and decaying! Lol

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You aren't very observant if you have to kiss someone before you realize this.

ThisIsMe123 said:

I am thinking that I like her. Which would be the reason I'm kissing her.

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Again, why would this require kissing? especially in the dating stage. The concept of being in a situation where an unmarried woman and unmarried man are allowed to be alone is a very modern concept. People still got married and had good marriages without kissing before the wedding day. There are ways to say you like someone without kissing them.

ThisIsMe123 said:

Well, you're entitled to your opinion. But it's just that...an opinion. Never thought of sex while giving someone a kiss.

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If you are a virgin, I might believe that to a point. However, I suspect that you are enjoying the sexual related hormones that are released when kissing romantically (making out) and make it more enjoyable than a kiss from your great aunt Alice. That is foreplay...and means your body is getting ready for a sexual encounter.

However, maybe you just are meaning a kiss on the forehead or a quick peck?

ThisIsMe123 said:

Why do we climb mountains? Why do we swim in the water? Why do we enjoy the foods like to eat? We can go back and forth all day.

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Do you think it odd when a woman won't climb a mountain or swim in water?...or won't eat a mango. You haven't made those posts yet. We usually have reasons why we like things...

But again, she told you her reason and you thought it was odd enough to post. Why don't you just accept what women say about their life decisions toward dating and marriage instead of analyzing them on here? If you don't agree, just don't ask them out or ask them out again.

...uhhh...could someone please clarify what the word “pontificate” means that he loves so much? I mean, it says here, “to express one’s opinion in a way considered annoyingly pompous and dogmatic.” ...so....then, if you apply it to what he said,
“...this was a good while ago, so I pontificated [expressed in a way considered annoyingly pompous and dogmatic]...” —huh?! And then later, “Ah, the only thing I can pontificate [to express...] then is...” Hmmm... I clearly am missing a word or definition or something. Please someone enlighten me. Show me da way. Not to Uganda.

blackribbon said:

And Sketcher...your assumptions are false. Plenty of babies have been born to women who did not have physical contact with their husbands before they were married. There was a time when kissing before marriage was taboo....and yet the human race continued.

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I'm not saying that nobody figures out how to make it happen, or how to get both people to enjoy it. I'm saying it delays the progressive exposure to getting people more comfortable with getting physical. This can be a problem when at least one of the two are frigid, it seems to reinforce that. Again, I'm willing to accept science that contradicts what I said. Babies born in other cultures where kissing was taboo and marriages were arranged and women were expected to have children both as validation and as a duty, and where their consent was less valued is not an indicator that most couples easily and readily made that leap back then, and it's certainly not a scientific observation of couples in our culture today.

Sketcher said:

I'm not saying that nobody figures out how to make it happen, or how to get both people to enjoy it. I'm saying it delays the progressive exposure to getting people more comfortable with getting physical. This can be a problem when at least one of the two are frigid, it seems to reinforce that. Again, I'm willing to accept science that contradicts what I said. Babies born in other cultures where kissing was taboo and marriages were arranged and women were expected to have children both as validation and as a duty, and where their consent was less valued is not an indicator that most couples easily and readily made that leap back then, and it's certainly not a scientific observation of couples in our culture today.

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Frigid behavior is more likely a consequence of someone who is not treated in a loving patient way and the person doesn't feel "safe" in a relationship or the environment. Kissing a bit before the wedding day doesn't mean that it is any less likely to be an issue even after getting married. For those people, kissing may be the max they are willing to do and you won't know that any sooner than you will if you never kissed before saying "I do".

Well, I've heard a few people even on here say their spouse had a lot of trouble with touch because of how their church had taught them that touch and sex were so sinful before marriage. They couldn't shift to enjoying intimacy even once they were married. Seems to me there are a number of ways this can happen, including touch being very low on their love language list.

dayhiker said:

Well, I've heard a few people even on here say their spouse had a lot of trouble with touch because of how their church had taught them that touch and sex were so sinful before marriage. They couldn't shift to enjoying intimacy even once they were married. Seems to me there are a number of ways this can happen, including touch being very low on their love language list.

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You bring up a good point with this. It takes discernment. A lot of marriages have turned to the rocks because of this.

dayhiker said:

Well, I've heard a few people even on here say their spouse had a lot of trouble with touch because of how their church had taught them that touch and sex were so sinful before marriage. They couldn't shift to enjoying intimacy even once they were married. Seems to me there are a number of ways this can happen, including touch being very low on their love language list.

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This is more a problem with the attitude taught in the church. And actually, if you get in the habit of kissing and stopping, that may also lead to this kind of issues. If a person saves all forms of expressing themselves sexually until marriage, then they are a lot less practiced in stopping or believing that some things are "clean" and not sinful while others are "dirty" and sinful. I would think that someone who has never kissed before marriage would be more likely to be able to go with the flow of sensual emotions from kiss to the act of marriage as a smooth natural (and allowed) act of love. A woman who is used to making out and having to decide what is "okay" and what isn't "okay" is more practiced at thinking and being guarded while kissing so she can "stop the action" before it flows beyond what she is ready to do.

Blackribbon ... That is possible too ... those its not one I've come across.

it's a boundary she set for herself, probably to protect herself from going too far. one thing tends to lead to another.

if this same woman is going out of her way to spend time with you as much as possible then she's clearly interested in you even if she doesn't kiss you.

if this prohibition is a problem for you then....NEXT.