How to deal with two major uncertainties in the future?

But_First_Coffee · Oct 25, 2019

A little backstory- I have been married for more than five years and have a baby. But for eight years, I've lived in the same tiny apartment. I mean, it's good enough, but it seems to get smaller and smaller every year. All my peers around me have bought or built houses and put down their roots. I'm still in a state of limbo I guess. I'm tired of renting, but credit issues made it so that my husband will keep saying when I ask about where we are with maybe getting our PERMANENT home "oh someday in a few years", yet technically speaking, it could be sooner if he put his mind to it.

About a month ago, I felt like God was saying that it was OK and even necessary to start really planning for this house. If we make a few minor adjustments to things, we can take out or VA home loan in summer 2020. That means, as the lease ends on the condo in the fall, we could be moving into our forever house.
So, I started daydreaming. I created a pinterest board and collected many many photos of beautiful rooms and decks and back yards for inspiration how I could make this thing look once I get it. I started talking to mortgage officers and a realtor. I started looking online at what neighborhoods in the area are best and fit into the price range (which is rather low, but oh well). I even went so far as to start trying to create a registry for a potential housewarming party that will take place in the end of 2020. Don't laugh.
This is all significant because up until a month ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about the house. It hurt too much because it looked and sounded like it was never going to happen.

Ok so here's the other part to this whole thing, what makes it complicated.
My husband is still going to school. He's worked a little from home and done some odd jobs here and there, but has never settled on his permanent career due to personal issues that have to do with trying the military out in his early 20's, and winding up discharged after only a few years with PTSD. He gets paid, and he gets paid to go to school, and he will get placed in a career, but he's struggled to figure out what he wants.
Well, he finally settled on accounting. It's not glamorous, but it's practical.
He still has one more year of school left. Graduation is set for December 2020.
Now accounting jobs are EVERYWHERE. unlike when you get a degree in say.... fashion or acting....and then you have to go live in Los Angeles if you want a hope for anything to come of it...Accounting will be there for him in every town. Realistically, we could stay in this smallish area and buy our house and I could stay at my bank job and he could find a firm to work for right out of school and we'd be fine.
HOWEVER
He went to a job fair. He talked to recruiters. He already got some calls. He can't work yet, but he's very very attracted to the salary at this one firm....in a town..... 3 or 4 hours south.... where my bank ISNT. If we went there, we'd all have to start over from scratch. goodbye dreams of owning a home.

He's had these notions before, though. When we were younger? He wanted to go to MIT. Until he realized that 1) Boston costs alot of money to live in and 2) stuff freezes in the winter.
Also the VA doesn't pay for that.
Over the years, he's had many ideas and in the end, we wound up staying here.
For another year. and another. and another.

So now I will ask my question.
What should I be asking God for?
Should I ask God for that house, and also a good local job for the husband and trust that he won't uproot us and make it take another 4-5 years before we can quit renting and finally have a place to call "ours"?
Or should I ask for surrender to this notion of starting over in a new strange town, NOT spending next year preparing for my new home, and embrace that at least with renting, I still have my freedom to up and leave and am not tied to a mortgage?

Also, we're in our early 30's. So my "nesting instinct" is getting really really out of control at this point. And I feel quite constrained by my cluttered two bedroom, one bathroom 20 year old cheap apartment with carpet and no permission from the rental company to paint or remodel (or the funds to do so because I can't take out a heloc on a place I don't own).

turkle · Oct 25, 2019

But_First_Coffee said:
So now I will ask my question.
What should I be asking God for?

The first question to ask God, and to continuously ask, is to reveal to you His will. Nothing else matters. The next thing to ask is for Him to adjust your desires to His. Be willing to lay down your wants for His perfect will. Every time I have done this, His will has always been far better than my wants. And every time I have failed to do this, the outcome was not satisfying.

I understand your desire. It's very natural. But I have found that when I insist upon my own way that what I wanted was not the best for me. Trust Him. He will guide you if you die to self and seek His will and way.

dqhall · Oct 25, 2019

But_First_Coffee said:
A little backstory- I have been married for more than five years and have a baby. But for eight years, I've lived in the same tiny apartment. I mean, it's good enough, but it seems to get smaller and smaller every year. All my peers around me have bought or built houses and put down their roots. I'm still in a state of limbo I guess. I'm tired of renting, but credit issues made it so that my husband will keep saying when I ask about where we are with maybe getting our PERMANENT home "oh someday in a few years", yet technically speaking, it could be sooner if he put his mind to it.

About a month ago, I felt like God was saying that it was OK and even necessary to start really planning for this house. If we make a few minor adjustments to things, we can take out or VA home loan in summer 2020. That means, as the lease ends on the condo in the fall, we could be moving into our forever house.
So, I started daydreaming. I created a pinterest board and collected many many photos of beautiful rooms and decks and back yards for inspiration how I could make this thing look once I get it. I started talking to mortgage officers and a realtor. I started looking online at what neighborhoods in the area are best and fit into the price range (which is rather low, but oh well). I even went so far as to start trying to create a registry for a potential housewarming party that will take place in the end of 2020. Don't laugh.
This is all significant because up until a month ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about the house. It hurt too much because it looked and sounded like it was never going to happen.

Ok so here's the other part to this whole thing, what makes it complicated.
My husband is still going to school. He's worked a little from home and done some odd jobs here and there, but has never settled on his permanent career due to personal issues that have to do with trying the military out in his early 20's, and winding up discharged after only a few years with PTSD. He gets paid, and he gets paid to go to school, and he will get placed in a career, but he's struggled to figure out what he wants.
Well, he finally settled on accounting. It's not glamorous, but it's practical.
He still has one more year of school left. Graduation is set for December 2020.
Now accounting jobs are EVERYWHERE. unlike when you get a degree in say.... fashion or acting....and then you have to go live in Los Angeles if you want a hope for anything to come of it...Accounting will be there for him in every town. Realistically, we could stay in this smallish area and buy our house and I could stay at my bank job and he could find a firm to work for right out of school and we'd be fine.
HOWEVER
He went to a job fair. He talked to recruiters. He already got some calls. He can't work yet, but he's very very attracted to the salary at this one firm....in a town..... 3 or 4 hours south.... where my bank ISNT. If we went there, we'd all have to start over from scratch. goodbye dreams of owning a home.

He's had these notions before, though. When we were younger? He wanted to go to MIT. Until he realized that 1) Boston costs alot of money to live in and 2) stuff freezes in the winter.
Also the VA doesn't pay for that.
Over the years, he's had many ideas and in the end, we wound up staying here.
For another year. and another. and another.

So now I will ask my question.
What should I be asking God for?
Should I ask God for that house, and also a good local job for the husband and trust that he won't uproot us and make it take another 4-5 years before we can quit renting and finally have a place to call "ours"?
Or should I ask for surrender to this notion of starting over in a new strange town, NOT spending next year preparing for my new home, and embrace that at least with renting, I still have my freedom to up and leave and am not tied to a mortgage?

Also, we're in our early 30's. So my "nesting instinct" is getting really really out of control at this point. And I feel quite constrained by my cluttered two bedroom, one bathroom 20 year old cheap apartment with carpet and no permission from the rental company to paint or remodel (or the funds to do so because I can't take out a heloc on a place I don't own).

If you lived five years in a rental, you might be able to bargain with the landlord to get a few rooms painted before signing a new lease. I remember a lady lived in a rental until the carpet was worn out and asked for new carpet as a condition for signing a new lease. There is also an option for you to find a different rental, if finances will not allow a home purchase. Unemployment is low. More older workers are retiring.

royal priest · Oct 25, 2019

Guard your heart. God is testing your desire for a house. Hold the house in your hand as you would a piece of sharp glass--with an open palm. Clench it too tightly and it might hurt you.

But_First_Coffee · Oct 25, 2019

dqhall said:
If you lived five years in a rental, you might be able to bargain with the landlord to get a few rooms painted before signing a new lease. I remember a lady lived in a rental until the carpet was worn out and asked for new carpet as a condition for signing a new lease. There is also an option for you to find a different rental, if finances will not allow a home purchase. Unemployment is low. More older workers are retiring.

Yes I’m open to a bigger rental but it’s still not my permanent home and the anxiety of
Knowing another move is coming won’t fully go away. No I can’t ask for cosmetic stuff Because every year, the owner has had to replace actual appliances that broke because it was their time. This year it was the water heater and the AC had to get tuned up. Last year it was the dish washer. He’s a bare bones kinda guy and the bathroom floor is slowly going squishy but he’s not going to
Replace that until we fall through it. So we can forget about some worn out carpet and stained linoleum.

Silverback · Oct 25, 2019

But_First_Coffee said:
A little backstory- I have been married for more than five years and have a baby. But for eight years, I've lived in the same tiny apartment. I mean, it's good enough, but it seems to get smaller and smaller every year. All my peers around me have bought or built houses and put down their roots. I'm still in a state of limbo I guess. I'm tired of renting, but credit issues made it so that my husband will keep saying when I ask about where we are with maybe getting our PERMANENT home "oh someday in a few years", yet technically speaking, it could be sooner if he put his mind to it.

About a month ago, I felt like God was saying that it was OK and even necessary to start really planning for this house. If we make a few minor adjustments to things, we can take out or VA home loan in summer 2020. That means, as the lease ends on the condo in the fall, we could be moving into our forever house.
So, I started daydreaming. I created a pinterest board and collected many many photos of beautiful rooms and decks and back yards for inspiration how I could make this thing look once I get it. I started talking to mortgage officers and a realtor. I started looking online at what neighborhoods in the area are best and fit into the price range (which is rather low, but oh well). I even went so far as to start trying to create a registry for a potential housewarming party that will take place in the end of 2020. Don't laugh.
This is all significant because up until a month ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about the house. It hurt too much because it looked and sounded like it was never going to happen.

Ok so here's the other part to this whole thing, what makes it complicated.
My husband is still going to school. He's worked a little from home and done some odd jobs here and there, but has never settled on his permanent career due to personal issues that have to do with trying the military out in his early 20's, and winding up discharged after only a few years with PTSD. He gets paid, and he gets paid to go to school, and he will get placed in a career, but he's struggled to figure out what he wants.
Well, he finally settled on accounting. It's not glamorous, but it's practical.
He still has one more year of school left. Graduation is set for December 2020.
Now accounting jobs are EVERYWHERE. unlike when you get a degree in say.... fashion or acting....and then you have to go live in Los Angeles if you want a hope for anything to come of it...Accounting will be there for him in every town. Realistically, we could stay in this smallish area and buy our house and I could stay at my bank job and he could find a firm to work for right out of school and we'd be fine.
HOWEVER
He went to a job fair. He talked to recruiters. He already got some calls. He can't work yet, but he's very very attracted to the salary at this one firm....in a town..... 3 or 4 hours south.... where my bank ISNT. If we went there, we'd all have to start over from scratch. goodbye dreams of owning a home.

He's had these notions before, though. When we were younger? He wanted to go to MIT. Until he realized that 1) Boston costs alot of money to live in and 2) stuff freezes in the winter.
Also the VA doesn't pay for that.
Over the years, he's had many ideas and in the end, we wound up staying here.
For another year. and another. and another.

So now I will ask my question.
What should I be asking God for?
Should I ask God for that house, and also a good local job for the husband and trust that he won't uproot us and make it take another 4-5 years before we can quit renting and finally have a place to call "ours"?
Or should I ask for surrender to this notion of starting over in a new strange town, NOT spending next year preparing for my new home, and embrace that at least with renting, I still have my freedom to up and leave and am not tied to a mortgage?

Also, we're in our early 30's. So my "nesting instinct" is getting really really out of control at this point. And I feel quite constrained by my cluttered two bedroom, one bathroom 20 year old cheap apartment with carpet and no permission from the rental company to paint or remodel (or the funds to do so because I can't take out a heloc on a place I don't own).

A few things, the VA home loan you mentioned is not a home loan, the VA "Backs" the loan, but the loan comes from a bank, or, other lender, the VA does not loan you any money to buy a home. If your credit is in the trash can, you may not get a mortgage, VA Backed, or not.

Home ownership is not all it's cracked up to be. You are responsible for everything, if the Hot Water Heater bites the dust, you have to buy a new one, then there are plumbing problems, electrical problems, leaky roof, AC breaks down, fencing issues, and the softer issues of yard work when it's your only day off, and If you throw a baby into the mix, it gets really, really, difficult.

If you buy into a deed restricted community, you will have further issues with upkeep, and meeting their requirements for the appearance of your home, you are not free to paint your house any color you want, or, use any type of shingles on the roof, or, have a pitbull, or a motorcycle, or even to have certain flags, or, certain bumber stickers on your car. Not all are this bad, but some are worse.

Then you have property tax, which frequently increases, Insurance, which also increases from time to time, and things like flood insurance, and coverage for sinkholes.

If you had little free time before, you will have less now. And don't forget about all the additional cleaning you will have to do.

My wife and I rented for years when I was in the Navy, we bought a house when I retired, I would have been happier just renting, but that's me.

dqhall · Oct 25, 2019

But_First_Coffee said:
Yes I’m open to a bigger rental but it’s still not my permanent home and the anxiety of
Knowing another move is coming won’t fully go away. No I can’t ask for cosmetic stuff Because every year, the owner has had to replace actual appliances that broke because it was their time. This year it was the water heater and the AC had to get tuned up. Last year it was the dish washer. He’s a bare bones kinda guy and the bathroom floor is slowly going squishy but he’s not going to
Replace that until we fall through it. So we can forget about some worn out carpet and stained linoleum.

It is good to study home prices in various neighborhoods. In some West Coast housing markets, prices have been falling. Some homes will be sold below list price.

LoricaLady · Oct 26, 2019

If your husband in a believer, I would say that the two of your should join hands in prayer for at least a week each day and ask the Lord to guide you in your job and moving concerns. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." He knows the future. What looks good today could easily change tomorrow. Ditto on what doesn't look so good, of course.

It sounds like you are both healthy. IF you are both very healthy, once a week do a 24 hour water only fast, praying for that guidance so that you make the wisest choices.

But_First_Coffee · Oct 27, 2019

LoricaLady said:
If your husband in a believer, I would say that the two of your should join hands in prayer for at least a week each day and ask the Lord to guide you in your job and moving concerns. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." He knows the future. What looks good today could easily change tomorrow. Ditto on what doesn't look so good, of course.

It sounds like you are both healthy. IF you are both very healthy, once a week do a 24 hour water only fast, praying for that guidance so that you make the wisest choices.

He's actually kind of having a personal crisis of faith right now, but came from Christian roots and was a practicing Christian when I married him, so that's another thing I'm working on with him. Hoping he will reignite his faith before all this goes down.

Lady O · Oct 28, 2019

But_First_Coffee said:
A little backstory- I have been married for more than five years and have a baby. But for eight years, I've lived in the same tiny apartment. I mean, it's good enough, but it seems to get smaller and smaller every year. All my peers around me have bought or built houses and put down their roots. I'm still in a state of limbo I guess. I'm tired of renting, but credit issues made it so that my husband will keep saying when I ask about where we are with maybe getting our PERMANENT home "oh someday in a few years", yet technically speaking, it could be sooner if he put his mind to it.

About a month ago, I felt like God was saying that it was OK and even necessary to start really planning for this house. If we make a few minor adjustments to things, we can take out or VA home loan in summer 2020. That means, as the lease ends on the condo in the fall, we could be moving into our forever house.
So, I started daydreaming. I created a pinterest board and collected many many photos of beautiful rooms and decks and back yards for inspiration how I could make this thing look once I get it. I started talking to mortgage officers and a realtor. I started looking online at what neighborhoods in the area are best and fit into the price range (which is rather low, but oh well). I even went so far as to start trying to create a registry for a potential housewarming party that will take place in the end of 2020. Don't laugh.
This is all significant because up until a month ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about the house. It hurt too much because it looked and sounded like it was never going to happen.

Ok so here's the other part to this whole thing, what makes it complicated.
My husband is still going to school. He's worked a little from home and done some odd jobs here and there, but has never settled on his permanent career due to personal issues that have to do with trying the military out in his early 20's, and winding up discharged after only a few years with PTSD. He gets paid, and he gets paid to go to school, and he will get placed in a career, but he's struggled to figure out what he wants.
Well, he finally settled on accounting. It's not glamorous, but it's practical.
He still has one more year of school left. Graduation is set for December 2020.
Now accounting jobs are EVERYWHERE. unlike when you get a degree in say.... fashion or acting....and then you have to go live in Los Angeles if you want a hope for anything to come of it...Accounting will be there for him in every town. Realistically, we could stay in this smallish area and buy our house and I could stay at my bank job and he could find a firm to work for right out of school and we'd be fine.
HOWEVER
He went to a job fair. He talked to recruiters. He already got some calls. He can't work yet, but he's very very attracted to the salary at this one firm....in a town..... 3 or 4 hours south.... where my bank ISNT. If we went there, we'd all have to start over from scratch. goodbye dreams of owning a home.

He's had these notions before, though. When we were younger? He wanted to go to MIT. Until he realized that 1) Boston costs alot of money to live in and 2) stuff freezes in the winter.
Also the VA doesn't pay for that.
Over the years, he's had many ideas and in the end, we wound up staying here.
For another year. and another. and another.

So now I will ask my question.
What should I be asking God for?
Should I ask God for that house, and also a good local job for the husband and trust that he won't uproot us and make it take another 4-5 years before we can quit renting and finally have a place to call "ours"?
Or should I ask for surrender to this notion of starting over in a new strange town, NOT spending next year preparing for my new home, and embrace that at least with renting, I still have my freedom to up and leave and am not tied to a mortgage?

Also, we're in our early 30's. So my "nesting instinct" is getting really really out of control at this point. And I feel quite constrained by my cluttered two bedroom, one bathroom 20 year old cheap apartment with carpet and no permission from the rental company to paint or remodel (or the funds to do so because I can't take out a heloc on a place I don't own).

Thanks for all the details to your story. As I was reading it, I pictured myself going through the same thought process of waiting and hoping, and counting down when your dreams could become a reality. It's perfectly normal for a mom with a baby to want a home, a place to call her own, where life can begin to blossom in ways never before imagined.

I can't speak for God and suggest what you should be praying for - I am detecting this is a conversation for you and your husband, not so much about a job for him and a house for you, but a conversation that addresses the most intimate longings and unmet expectations in your heart.

What do you think would happen if he read this post? Would he see something about you and about himself that he has not wanted to face?

In my own experiences with my journey of faith, I have watched how God uses the seemingly impossible to help build us into the person He wants us to become. It hurts and takes us into a place of believing God has all but forgotten us, but in reality, He is creating in us a need to reach deeper into Him.

I personally believe the very best and safest thing you can do is to pray "His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven". It took me years before I was consumed with staying attached and connected to God in the midst of heartache, but once I found a peace in doing so, I was never the same again.

Please feel free to contact me again and we can talk more - talk through the many ways you can shift your thinking off of your circumstances and onto God's will for your life. I know it is not easy, and I will be the first one to admit that. I promise to be praying for you.

Reborn1977 · Oct 30, 2019

But_First_Coffee said:
A little backstory- I have been married for more than five years and have a baby. But for eight years, I've lived in the same tiny apartment. I mean, it's good enough, but it seems to get smaller and smaller every year. All my peers around me have bought or built houses and put down their roots. I'm still in a state of limbo I guess. I'm tired of renting, but credit issues made it so that my husband will keep saying when I ask about where we are with maybe getting our PERMANENT home "oh someday in a few years", yet technically speaking, it could be sooner if he put his mind to it.

About a month ago, I felt like God was saying that it was OK and even necessary to start really planning for this house. If we make a few minor adjustments to things, we can take out or VA home loan in summer 2020. That means, as the lease ends on the condo in the fall, we could be moving into our forever house.
So, I started daydreaming. I created a pinterest board and collected many many photos of beautiful rooms and decks and back yards for inspiration how I could make this thing look once I get it. I started talking to mortgage officers and a realtor. I started looking online at what neighborhoods in the area are best and fit into the price range (which is rather low, but oh well). I even went so far as to start trying to create a registry for a potential housewarming party that will take place in the end of 2020. Don't laugh.
This is all significant because up until a month ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about the house. It hurt too much because it looked and sounded like it was never going to happen.

Ok so here's the other part to this whole thing, what makes it complicated.
My husband is still going to school. He's worked a little from home and done some odd jobs here and there, but has never settled on his permanent career due to personal issues that have to do with trying the military out in his early 20's, and winding up discharged after only a few years with PTSD. He gets paid, and he gets paid to go to school, and he will get placed in a career, but he's struggled to figure out what he wants.
Well, he finally settled on accounting. It's not glamorous, but it's practical.
He still has one more year of school left. Graduation is set for December 2020.
Now accounting jobs are EVERYWHERE. unlike when you get a degree in say.... fashion or acting....and then you have to go live in Los Angeles if you want a hope for anything to come of it...Accounting will be there for him in every town. Realistically, we could stay in this smallish area and buy our house and I could stay at my bank job and he could find a firm to work for right out of school and we'd be fine.
HOWEVER
He went to a job fair. He talked to recruiters. He already got some calls. He can't work yet, but he's very very attracted to the salary at this one firm....in a town..... 3 or 4 hours south.... where my bank ISNT. If we went there, we'd all have to start over from scratch. goodbye dreams of owning a home.

He's had these notions before, though. When we were younger? He wanted to go to MIT. Until he realized that 1) Boston costs alot of money to live in and 2) stuff freezes in the winter.
Also the VA doesn't pay for that.
Over the years, he's had many ideas and in the end, we wound up staying here.
For another year. and another. and another.

So now I will ask my question.
What should I be asking God for?
Should I ask God for that house, and also a good local job for the husband and trust that he won't uproot us and make it take another 4-5 years before we can quit renting and finally have a place to call "ours"?
Or should I ask for surrender to this notion of starting over in a new strange town, NOT spending next year preparing for my new home, and embrace that at least with renting, I still have my freedom to up and leave and am not tied to a mortgage?

Also, we're in our early 30's. So my "nesting instinct" is getting really really out of control at this point. And I feel quite constrained by my cluttered two bedroom, one bathroom 20 year old cheap apartment with carpet and no permission from the rental company to paint or remodel (or the funds to do so because I can't take out a heloc on a place I don't own).

As with anything in life, you should be asking God what His Will is, not what your will is or your desires are, but what His Will is for your life because whether or not you can understand it in your conscious mind you are always going to be happier living inside of God's Will for you.

I can tell you that if your husband and you do not agree about buying a home before you buy it, then buying one is not God's Will. God will bring agreement if it is His Will.

Your life and your marriage will be happier if you live it in a way that requires that your husband and you be in agreement before you do major things like buying a house or a car or moving. Take that from a middle-aged woman (and a minister) who has been married 34 years and has acquired a little bit of godly wisdom.

Lady O · Oct 30, 2019

Reborn1977 said:
As with anything in life, you should be asking God what His Will is, not what your will is or your desires are, but what His Will is for your life because whether or not you can understand it in your conscious mind you are always going to be happier living inside of God's Will for you.

I can tell you that if your husband and you do not agree about buying a home before you buy it, then buying one is not God's Will. God will bring agreement if it is His Will.

Your life and your marriage will be happier if you live it in a way that requires that your husband and you be in agreement before you do major things like buying a house or a car or moving. Take that from a middle-aged woman (and a minister) who has been married 34 years and has acquired a little bit of godly wisdom.

I wish your statement about God bringing agreement if it is His will were really true. I have seen situations where either the husband or wife could not bring themselves to agree on a decision made by the other because it was clearly not the right decision, but rather based on convenience. This is a touchy topic and one wish were understood better by most.

Reborn1977 · Oct 30, 2019

Lady O said:
I wish your statement about God bringing agreement if it is His will were really true. I have seen situations where either the husband or wife could not bring themselves to agree on a decision made by the other because it was clearly not the right decision, but rather based on convenience. This is a touchy topic and one wish were understood better by most.

The statement I made is true when taken in proper context and being lived out by two people attempting to do their best to live for the Lord Jesus, (I have personal knowledge that this lady and her husband are trying to do that.)

A problem with the lack of agreement in marriage can be found in what you wrote, the attitudes of the people involved, "agree on a decision made by the other" that is not a couple making decisions together, what you describe is one person trying to get their way.

Marriage (34 years here), long term marriage, by no means is easy, it takes resolve and a firm commitment, but it is not as difficult as people make it out to be; difficulty comes when each spouse makes what THEY WANT a priority over what their spouse wants (selfishness), what is best for the marriage and family, and when they refuse to submit to a godly decision-making process.

mama2one · Oct 31, 2019

congratulations on your baby!

realistically before your family takes on a mortgage, give yourself a little more time to save, get settled in permanent jobs before taking on the debt of a mortgage, and see where you'll end up living

having money for a down payment makes a difference in the amt of your monthly payment and will help in the end

when you do get a house, make sure the mortgage is affordable if you family ends up with only one income

all the best to you

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